How disgusting is this...

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Replies

  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
    Shame on you, OP. I'm sure if she were your patient, you'd make her feel just like her other doctors. Rx: "Stop being fat." When the actual issue is much deeper. She needs to love herself first. Man...that sounds kinda deep...and sensitive...and difficult. I don't expect you to get it.

    another one.... read whole thread next time before "judging"

    Enlighten me

    read thread

    you're welcome!
  • DragonSquatter
    DragonSquatter Posts: 957 Member
    When I was obese, all the negative feelings I experienced were self-generated. I hated what I had allowed to occur in my body, in my life, in my health. Nobody ever shamed me, nobody ever said vicious things to me, only once did a child make a comment carelessly that cut me to the bone. The reason it hurt so badly was I knew how much I hated the situation I had created, and I knew I would feel much better when I solved it.

    All of this is how I felt/still feel also.
    Now that I have solved it, (mostly), I do feel so much better, and that's coming from me as well. It feels really good to know that I have earned the ability to wear a size "small" dress. It took a sustained effort, and a series of adjustments to my habits to get here. I earned it. And that's what feels so damn good. The smaller *kitten* is just a happy side effect of it.

    Yes, you have absolutely EARNED it! :smile:
  • I think what's disgusting is that the people who should have helped her see what this choice has in consequences ignored how she felt and pushed their own ideals onto her. They had no eye for how it made her feel, no eye for the fact she tried to starve herself and making assumptions all over the place.

    It's disgusting that other people try to dictate others how to feel and think and what choices they need to make, and WHEN they need to make them.

    So far, because of the kind of people who call her choice 'disgusting', she's only come to associate attempts to live healthier as something negative. Nothing gave her pleasure or a sense of doing something right because people continued to judge her, continued to neglect her emotional needs and treated her like an object. Like a project, without looking inside to see who she is and what she needs.

    Wanting to lose weight is a choice you make when you are ready for it. If you're not ready for it and don't willingly step up to yourself because you have the burning desire to change, you will NEVER be happy with your weight loss. You will not have the strength or the courage to keep going. You don't lose weight because someone tells you "You have to lose weight now" - it's something you do because you have a revealing moment where you realize this is it, you feel crappy and you want to feel better in body and mind. Nothing anyone ever says will push this into happening faster.

    Calling her story disgusting, whether that's for her mentality or her weight, achieves the exact opposite of what you're pushing for. There's a strong lack of understanding that this is MORE than just 'making excuses' or 'clinging onto the past'. It's a perspective she holds that she's not had any desire to change yet, and by acting like judgmental buttwipes, who will only comment here and say they think she's wrong, but make no effort whatsoever to get in touch with her and help her, you're just reinforcing her negative feelings about anything to do with losing weight and living healthier.

    If you're willing to judge her and her 'excuses', at least have the decency to go beyond judging. Get in touch with her and be a good human being who supports her and coaxes her into coming to see a different perspective, without being mean and condescending about it. Unless you're willing to go that far, please don't judge her or anyone else. If you do, you're just being everything that destroys the spirit of a better lifestyle.
  • milesvictors
    milesvictors Posts: 83 Member
    Well, that's a whole load of tl;dr, but what's disgusting about choosing to be fat? I'll still be clinically obese when I hit my goal weight. I prefer the way fat women (including myself) look in comparison to thin women. I have the right to choose to look any way I want to.

    You hear people bang on and on about how "fat is a choice!" and use it as an excuse to shame fat people and treat them like second class citizens. Well so f*cking what if fat *is* a choice? That doesn't mean the writer of this piece, or me, or any other fat person doesn't deserve respect and acceptance.

    Why did *you* choose to lose weight, OP? So it would be easier to get on that high horse?

    HAHA! While I agree with the OP on how sad this is and how it sounds like she is excusing herself away from a life of health, the "high horse" comment almost had me rolling. SO funny!
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
    this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!

    (and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
    agreed! I don't understand how you can read something like that and only come away with "it's disgusting."
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
    I think that she really means is that her weight doesn't define her as a person but everyone chooses to see her as a person who needs to lose weight period.

    And even though I don't think that remaining obese is the best way to stick it up to the Man, I kinda get that.
    I've never been really fat, just 10-20lbs overweight. That's all my family could see.
    Last year I lost 20lbs in a little less than 3.5months, and that's all I could hear about. Nothing about the internship I got as a Law student or being a straight-A student or anything about my other accomplishments. It is and always was about weight and it's painful and maddening. It feels like one's persona doesn't really matter as long as they go along with everyone else's expectation.

    But I must insist, remaining obese is certainly not the way to prove your point. But I kinda understand her.

    Yes. It's an eloquently written tantrum, essentially.

    Stated perfectly.

    When I was obese, all the negative feelings I experienced were self-generated. I hated what I had allowed to occur in my body, in my life, in my health. Nobody ever shamed me, nobody ever said vicious things to me, only once did a child make a comment carelessly that cut me to the bone. The reason it hurt so badly was I knew how much I hated the situation I had created, and I knew I would feel much better when I solved it.

    Now that I have solved it, (mostly), I do feel so much better, and that's coming from me as well. It feels really good to know that I have earned the ability to wear a size "small" dress. It took a sustained effort, and a series of adjustments to my habits to get here. I earned it. And that's what feels so damn good. The smaller *kitten* is just a happy side effect of it.

    this is how i feel as well. while im not done with my journey of weight lose and health gain, i do feel so much better than i did in feb
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
    this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!

    (and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
    agreed! I don't understand how you can read something like that and only come away with "it's disgusting."

    titles do have a limit to how much i can express....
  • britzzie
    britzzie Posts: 338 Member
    Shame on you, OP. I'm sure if she were your patient, you'd make her feel just like her other doctors. Rx: "Stop being fat." When the actual issue is much deeper. She needs to love herself first. Man...that sounds kinda deep...and sensitive...and difficult. I don't expect you to get it.

    another one.... read whole thread next time before "judging"

    Enlighten me

    read thread

    you're welcome!

    I did. Before I originally posted. I didn't see anything to indicate that your post isn't incredibly insensitive, shallow, and wrong.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    What a beautifully written, heart breaking story. She can choose whatever she wants. Not sure why anyone else would care?
    plus the fact that she's only 23 years old... we all thought very different in our 20's... we were young, thought we had it all figured out... thought that was life... looking back we see 20's as an experimental age..


    I think she's a lovely writer, when she wrote this...she felt this... ppl change, she will change, it's up to her to decide how she wants to. Society puts SO much pressure on young Women to be a certain 'way'. Men don't have that same type of pressure.. I think that's why the OP appears clueless.

    There are ppl who overeat, gain weight because they quit sports in high school and college.. then there are ppl that have actual eating disorders and are out of control.. binge eating and other ED's we know of. The fact that she laid out her background growing up..if someone doesn't see that as a cry for help, she was a little girl.. she ate because she felt no love. If some can't read that in the post they are missing the point greatly.

    I feel sad for those that feel she's discusting... we're all on MFP...what on earth are we thinking making fun of someone with and ED?????? We're on here for adding weight, losing weight, maintain, learning how to make healthier choices.. we've all joined for different reasons. There is no one here better than another... so to judge her choices, isn't really up to us.

    But seriously ppl? She's 23!!! What were you doing at 23?? Did you have life experience? Not much, did you have life all figured out? We all thought we did, then we got older and life changed.. it'll change for her, her thoughts, her ways. Who knows how she'll feel about herself in the future, one can hope she heals with the help of a therapist, she's deep in pain at the moment.

    She shared how she's felt and she shared it in a post/blog...her business, not ours...

    I agree, if the OP is disgusted by this... then they likely have NO business in the helping field. No one is better than another.. no matter the size, the background etc.

    The helping field is for those that have grown up a bit, that have matured and can accept themselves and others exactly where they are at right this moment. The helping field is not for those that think they are better than others or think they can solve everyone's problems. Each of us is unique... because OP dropped some weight does not qualify them to be in the helping field, it takes heart and compassion. I see neither of those if the OP truly feels what he says.
    I don't know if this is disgusting at all. My heart breaks for this girl (or woman, now) because she clearly has a lot of emotional issues and yes, maybe even some mental health challenges. It's clear to me that her weight is a defense mechanism, and she even alludes to it as being a sort of armor for her. That is not disgusting, but sad.

    My question is, why is anorexia and bulimia treated with much more care than a disorder such as the author of the article? It's clear to many posters that in this situation, there is more than meets the eye. Yet, there is little sensitivity shown towards her and her plight. Most are under the impression that this is something she "chooses" to do. For me, my eating was a compulsion. No matter what anyone told me, I could not control it. "Everything in moderation," my doctors used to say. I used to feel my blood boiling at that comment, because even at 12 years old I knew that they would not say that to an alcoholic or a drug addict, and truly, wasn't my addiction destructive too? I felt frustrated because the only "resources" they gave me were to treat my weight, not my brain or my emotions. I feel that frustration in the author.

    Eating disorders do not always lead to low body fat percentages and gaunt appearances. Sometimes they cause weight gain instead. But why is that worse and somehow despicable vs. someone who starves themselves? Being overweight can cause health problems, but so can being far too thin as you see in anorexics. I just don't understand this double standard. And yes, that, to me, is disgusting. Somehow society has accepted anorexia and bulimia as disorders that need to be treated with care. Yet being fat because of binging disorders and emotional eating just brings shame and judgement. It's not disgusting, it's sad.
    :heart:
  • Gearjammer71
    Gearjammer71 Posts: 151 Member
    I don't find it disgusting. I don't appreciate the notion that I am some sort of rube caught in the wheel of the weight-loss band wagon, but she's entitled to her opinion. If that's her choice, fine by me. I have my own issues to worry about; I won't bother with hers.
  • Why do you think it is disgusting? its her choice.

    You're kidding... right?
    I suggest you head to the library or book store and pick up a copy of She's Come Undone.

    one of my favorite books!! Good suggestion
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
    It seems that most people here who don't agree with her are viewing her as the doctor or other people would. They don't look at her side of the story and understand the struggle that all that weight has helped her get through. Of course, she won't be healthy the way that we think healthy is; small, controlled weight, not gasping for breath... and we shouldn't define people by the way they look. I wish I can say the same for me, and I think that's something that I'm working on.

    Losing the weight isn't going to impact her mental health either. There are lots of people with similar stories where they relied on food to help them cope with a difficult time in their lives. They recognize that as an abnormality, get treatment, and lose the weight. This girl isn't doing that. She is saying that its okay to eat her worries away and that she has no intention of stopping before it kills her.

    Yet she let her mental issues taint the view of her doctors advice. You should lose weight is obviously going to alleviate all of her health issues be it hurting joints, body pains, being tired, feeling depressed!!!! not to mention all the ones everyone here know regarding cardiovascular issue, breathing issues and cancers.
  • kdsp2911
    kdsp2911 Posts: 170 Member
    I'm surprised no one's commented on how absolutely delish the sandwich in the original article looks:
    bacon_grilled_cheese-620x412.jpg

    Must master this creation! What a YUM breakfast!
  • legreene515
    legreene515 Posts: 276 Member
    I'll tell you what I think is disgusting about it:

    -She's blaming her weight on her past
    -She's saying that other people's expectations have led her not to want to lose weight (doctors who worry about her health, a lady on the street while she's out walking)
    -She's visibly insecure, but saying she has a right to be that way
    -She's playing with her life in an effort to "make a point," to who?
    -She's being irresponsible
    -She is not addressing her mental health issues and seeing that they may be resolved by making a large change in her life: therapy, weight loss, feeling good about herself.
    -She isn't TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER LIFE, SHE'S BLAMING EVERYTHING ON OTHER PEOPLE: Her past, her doctors, the fact that she has to overeat. There's a point in life when you have to realize that you're the one who has to make the change and stop justifying everything!

    That's what I find disgusting...
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
    Shame on you, OP. I'm sure if she were your patient, you'd make her feel just like her other doctors. Rx: "Stop being fat." When the actual issue is much deeper. She needs to love herself first. Man...that sounds kinda deep...and sensitive...and difficult. I don't expect you to get it.

    another one.... read whole thread next time before "judging"

    Enlighten me

    read thread

    you're welcome!

    I did. Before I originally posted. I didn't see anything to indicate that your post isn't incredibly insensitive, shallow, and wrong.

    She is just rationalizing her unhealthy decisions. Not being obese will help with her psychological problems and will actually make her feel better, not worse! It's clear that being lazy is a priority in her life though. That's fine, people rationalize all sorts of stupid **** they do and it's a standard coping mechanism. Let's pretend you're an alcoholic. Would you publicly post a long rant about how there is nothing wrong with you and people should just accept you as you are? would it be incredibly insensitive, shallow, and wrong of me to comment on your outlook of drinking??
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
    I'll tell you what I think is disgusting about it:

    -She's blaming her weight on her past
    -She's saying that other people's expectations have led her not to want to lose weight (doctors who worry about her health, a lady on the street while she's out walking)
    -She's visibly insecure, but saying she has a right to be that way
    -She's playing with her life in an effort to "make a point," to who?
    -She's being irresponsible
    -She is not addressing her mental health issues and seeing that they may be resolved by making a large change in her life: therapy, weight loss, feeling good about herself.
    -She isn't TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER LIFE, SHE'S BLAMING EVERYTHING ON OTHER PEOPLE: Her past, her doctors, the fact that she has to overeat. There's a point in life when you have to realize that you're the one who has to make the change and stop justifying everything!

    That's what I find disgusting...

    truth!
  • britzzie
    britzzie Posts: 338 Member
    It seems that most people here who don't agree with her are viewing her as the doctor or other people would. They don't look at her side of the story and understand the struggle that all that weight has helped her get through. Of course, she won't be healthy the way that we think healthy is; small, controlled weight, not gasping for breath... and we shouldn't define people by the way they look. I wish I can say the same for me, and I think that's something that I'm working on.

    Losing the weight isn't going to impact her mental health either. There are lots of people with similar stories where they relied on food to help them cope with a difficult time in their lives. They recognize that as an abnormality, get treatment, and lose the weight. This girl isn't doing that. She is saying that its okay to eat her worries away and that she has no intention of stopping before it kills her.

    Yet she let her mental issues taint the view of her doctors advice. You should lose weight is obviously going to alleviate all of her health issues be it hurting joints, body pains, being tired, feeling depressed!!!! not to mention all the ones everyone here know regarding cardiovascular issue, breathing issues and cancers.

    Yea. It's really 'disgusting' how she 'let her mental issues taint the view of her doctors advice.' You've obviously never struggled with mental health issues. You don't 'let' them do anything.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Wow. That was a powerful article. What an amazing writer. I envy her mastery of words. I found the article engrossing, not disgusting at all.

    I can understand why some people would feel uncomfortable with the idea of choosing to be obese - especially on a fitness/calorie counting website. And I suspect OP posted the article with some expectation of pile-on agreement.

    Ultimately, I think people pursue satisfaction, or comfort. We might think it's happiness or joy or adventure. But I think there is an innate drive in us to seek out comfort. I think it's part of the wiring in our monkey-brains that equates comfort with safety. It's what makes us afraid of change, drives us toward people who think/act/dress like us, and even keeps us in terrible relationships. It also drives us toward safe people, good friends, the right job, etc.

    The author, LAURA BOGART, describes how she made unhealthy choices around food to survive, to adjust, to cope. She talks about having lots of issues growing up - with family, socially, with her own self-image. Her basic premise is that her weight gain gives her armor.

    What I really got from the article is a struggle to find her truth, figure out how to tame the old tapes in her head, and focus on her own life, her own decisions. Really, this is a story of empowerment. That she is empowered to make arguably unhealthy decisions around eating or managing her weight may make some people uncomfortable. And I get that. We want the story of triumph to fit our definitions and contexts and experiences. But to me, she is taking command of her life for what may be the very first time, and it's pretty cool to read.

    She may ultimately make different decisions around food and her weight. The point is that she is making her own decisions.

    I love that she talks about the connection with loving oneself and outside appearance. We are quick to make those judgments, equating physical appearance with self-esteem. It trivializes the deep, often traumatic struggle people go through to muster some solid identity and self-confidence.

    She touches on this, and I wish she had gone more into it, but the idea that really jumped out at me - and is on display here in this thread - is summed up in this line from the article: (when you are big and not trying to lose weight) "you aren’t just flipping off cultural expectations; you’re upending other people’s hopes for you."

    I think that's an important sentiment that is threaded throughout the article, but not directly confronted enough. The idea that it's OK to get in people's business - to get in their faces - because we're doing it out of love or concern is a dangerous farce. Telling your friend he or she should make healthier choices is one thing. Hounding your family member for decades for not eating right is another. Likewise, espousing what the author of this article "should" do is little more than orchestrating your agenda of conformity - expecting everyone else to think, act, dream, and aspire the way you do.



    TL;DR version: Look! The Royal Baby!
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
    this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!

    (and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
    agreed! I don't understand how you can read something like that and only come away with "it's disgusting."

    Did you actually read the article? She is mentally ill, and the obesity is a side effect of what she is going through. it is sad and disturbing. It is also disturbing how many people agree with what she is saying. There is help available, when they are ready to accept it. It's not about the weight as much as the mentality.

    What I think is disgusting that she is propagating this unhealthy outlook on life and health.
  • tlsegar
    tlsegar Posts: 185 Member
    I found this article to be really sad and my heart breaks for her becuase I can relate to the anger, frustration, and resentment of struggling with weight issues. I had to make the decision for myself and it wasn't until I truly started loving myself that I realized I am worth the hard work and effort to get the weight off but more importantly improve my health. My weight loss didn't make me love me. Loving me made me lose weight. It sounds like this may be the journey she's headed for - at least I hope.

    As for the OP, I have to say and I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but I would not respond positively to you were you my healthcare provider. I have had physicians and nurses in the past who I knew were disgusted by me. They didn't have to outright say it but it was evident in the manner in which they provided care. All it did was make me more resentful and determined to rebel. Some people may respond positively to that sort of treatment but I do not. I don't want anyone making excuses for me or to even letme make excuses for myself . But I can appreciate and receive constructive feedback delivered without judgement. That is why I get along much better with my nurse than my nutritionist. And just because I've lost almost 100 lbs I don't feel that gives me license to to look down on other people who are at a different point in their journey or have yet to start. Just something to consider as you will most likely have patients who cover a wide spectrum in the level of care they need and respond to.
  • Mgregory723
    Mgregory723 Posts: 529 Member
    BUMP....must read this!
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
    As for the OP, I have to say and I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but I would not respond positively to you were you my healthcare provider. I have had physicians and nurses in the past who I knew were disgusted by me. They didn't have to outright say it but it was evident in the manner in which they provided care. All it did was make me more resentful and determined to rebel. Some people may respond positively to that sort of treatment but I do not. I don't want anyone making excuses for me or to even letme make excuses for myself . But I can appreciate and receive constructive feedback delivered without judgement. That is why I get along much better with my nurse than my nutritionist. And just because I've lost almost 100 lbs I don't feel that gives me license to to look down on other people who are at a different point in their journey or have yet to start. Just something to consider as you will most likely have patients who cover a wide spectrum in the level of care they need and respond to.

    yes... cause posting on a forum = how one gives quality of pt care.
  • elleloch
    elleloch Posts: 739 Member
    I find it sad. I read this article yesterday before I saw it posted here.

    I am all about loving your body and accepting yourself, but truly? This woman isn't healthy. She just sounds like she is offering up excuses for her obesity and eff the world because she is doing what she wants. Fine. But it's rather stupid to choose to be unhealthy.

    I agreed with the notion that you don't have to be a size 0 or have a specific body to be healthy, so she needs to get that mindset corrected. She also probably was hungry all the time when she was a size 12 because she was doing it wrong. I have never been hungry while losing weight, I was eating all the damn time. And yeah - fad diets? Definitely miserable.

    I understand that it's probably annoying as hell to listen to advice from those terrible thin doctors and therapists and whatnot, but she's 250 pounds, and they're telling her it isn't healthy. She had a bad childhood and didn't get enough hugs as a kid? Big fricken woop. She's in therapy to address her issues but refuses to deal with a symptom of her issues - that symptom being her poor health.

    Maybe disgusting isn't the right word. But I did not like the article. It was sad, and her views are honestly quite naive.
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
    *She* is not disgusting...I see her point, and it's good to read that someone is finding peace with herself.

    But to just...choose...to be overweight because you can? It's a little sad and seems like an excuse - just like doing drugs or being an alcoholic or surrendering to any addiction on GP.

    She says all this stuff about not wanting to starve herself to conform, and that's something we've all struggled with. But those of us who have lost anything know that we don't have to starve.

    She says it's great that people who lose weight feel good about themselves, but that their lives should not be summed up by one accomplishment. I agree...but I have worked harder to lose this weight than I have at any other goal in my life. I have other accomplishments, and in their context I am proud of those things. But every time I walk in my closet, and know that I have clothes that fit and look decent on me - I am reminded of what I have achieved in this area.

    It's like she is demeaning the losers for conforming...like the work we have done was for the wrong reasons...just to excuse her love for cupcakes. I love cupcakes. I have eaten cupcakes since I started this journey. I will eat more. But I don't eat a cupcake every time I see one simply because it's there. That's the difference.

    I don't believe we should all be a size 2. I don't believe everyone should be thin. But healthy? Yes. We should all be healthy...

    I agree. I also didn't really like the tone in the section about people on weight loss shows recounting the moment they knew they had to lose weight. It's a misconception that change comes in these huge lightning bolt moments, where the clouds open up, the angels sing, and enlightenment strikes. For me, the most meaningful moments that inspired change were everyday things that, for whatever reason, struck me differently that one time.

    She also is going on about how she wishes the entirety of their lives weren't reduced to a single achievement, but she's using the example of weight loss TV shows. They aren't going to do a segment on the 5 orphans s/he saved in a house fire when the whole point of the show is weight loss.

    I've gained and lost 500,000 pounds (rough approximate) in my life and the thing is, once it's off for a while, people stop mentioning it and move on to something else. Society in general has a very short attention span and most people are concerned with themselves more then anyone else. "Hey you look great, how do I look?" sort of thing.
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
    Having been fat (read: morbidly obese) almost all of my life, there comes a time when you can truly accept that your fat, you can embrace it and not let it bother you. I was at that place.

    The ONLY reason I ever started to lose weight was because of a statement I made to my wife when I got tired of the fad diets and other fleeting fitness things she was doing while crying about her weight and how difficult it was to cook her "healthy" food and then something totally different for me. I told her to eat real food, get off her butt and do something real and to stop with the 10 minute this or 5 minutes that "exercises" and when she actually did that..I would join her and support her. I know, I know...dangerous ground saying something like that, but I was fine with my fat, she wasn't fine with hers...but there comes a time when you need to put up or shut up.

    Last year she decided to put up and holding true to my word...here I am.

    Having said all of that, I can say this, if someone chooses to be fat, that's entirely up to them. I was "healthy" fat, my blood pressure was always fine according to my doc, my blood work normally came back fine...except for that time when I was scarfing down Little Debbie Doubledecker Oatmeal Creme Pies and Chocolate milk 2-3 times a day along with 2+ Rt. 44 Cherry Cokes from Sonic per day...blood sugar got a little outta hand, but once that was toned back, I was fine again. At 41 yrs old, my blood work and physical came back fine.

    I never let my weight stop me from doing anything or going anywhere so at the time it wasn't that big of a deal for me.

    I'm here now because I'm a firm believer of finishing what you start. I started down this road as a way to encourage and support my wife, and now it's become a goal for me. Do I "feel" better now...honestly, not really. There's no big major change in energy or whatever...I can, however, run a little and I do have a whole lot more endurance that I ever had before, I can walk further and faster, but on the regular day to day...can't really tell a difference. I do look better, and I like where this is going, and I'm glad of this choice...but if I had never said that to my wife, I wouldn't be here.

    Losing weight is a personal choice and we can talk about it and talk about it...heaven knows our "friends" and family will talk enough for all of us about how we'll "feel" if we lose weight and how much healthier and blah blah blah...bottom line though, if we don't like ourselves fat, we won't like ourselves thin or "healthy" or athletic or whatever. If we can't get past that mental block of appreciating who we are and not just what we look like, then the road will be much harder and longer and most of the time, will end in failure...which just adds to the self hate. If we like ourselves fat, and allow ourselves to accept us for who we are, when the time comes (if it ever does) that we are actually ready to take on the challenge of weight loss, we have a better chance of succeeding...but that's all personal choice and timing.

    TL;DR: Fat people can be healthy and happy. You can't succeed at weight loss until you WANT to and are ready to.

    Random gif time because this has been just too serious:

    tumblr_mer1h0Uhmw1r2jh02o1_500.gif

    Amen
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  • Valarama
    Valarama Posts: 22
    how is she disgusting? sounds to me like you're fat shaming her.
    just because other people hate their fat bodies, doesn't mean everyone has to hate their fat bodies.
    good on her for loving herself.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
    I kind of agree w/ OP. I was and am still considered obese after losing over 100 lbs. She's kidding herself. She's extremely unhappy. Obese people wear their feelings, literally, in the form of excess fat. I know.
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    I don't have the patience to read the article, but I'll assume its not disgusting based on the replies.
  • kgerm317
    kgerm317 Posts: 191 Member
    *She* is not disgusting...I see her point, and it's good to read that someone is finding peace with herself.

    But to just...choose...to be overweight because you can? It's a little sad and seems like an excuse - just like doing drugs or being an alcoholic or surrendering to any addiction on GP.

    She says all this stuff about not wanting to starve herself to conform, and that's something we've all struggled with. But those of us who have lost anything know that we don't have to starve.

    She says it's great that people who lose weight feel good about themselves, but that their lives should not be summed up by one accomplishment. I agree...but I have worked harder to lose this weight than I have at any other goal in my life. I have other accomplishments, and in their context I am proud of those things. But every time I walk in my closet, and know that I have clothes that fit and look decent on me - I am reminded of what I have achieved in this area.

    It's like she is demeaning the losers for conforming...like the work we have done was for the wrong reasons...just to excuse her love for cupcakes. I love cupcakes. I have eaten cupcakes since I started this journey. I will eat more. But I don't eat a cupcake every time I see one simply because it's there. That's the difference.

    I don't believe we should all be a size 2. I don't believe everyone should be thin. But healthy? Yes. We should all be healthy...

    Yes. This exactly.