Need help with a PURELY hypothetical situation.

135

Replies

  • Pamela_June
    Pamela_June Posts: 329 Member
    Just ... toss them.....(you made me laugh when I read this!!)
  • tubaman58
    tubaman58 Posts: 151
    1. Take the ducks to a stranger's garage sale (preferably a girl scout/boy scout or church mission fundraiser.)

    2. Quietly place the ducks on a crowded table when no one is looking.

    3. Stand where you can discreetly photograph the faces of the shoppers with your iPhone.

    4. Post the pictures here.
    I like this solution, can't wait to see the pics :)
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    Donate them to a church.

    for the win! :drinker:

    ETA Westboro Church at that. They are a bunch of ducks, why not send them a bunch of ducks.
  • SweetLilyR
    SweetLilyR Posts: 283 Member
    There is a reason my best friend knows to find the box beside my bed marked "Honeymoon" and dispose of the contents in the event of my death...

    And I know to clear out the hidden compartment of her underwear drawer. Gotta love best friends!
  • Event_Horizon975
    Event_Horizon975 Posts: 226 Member
    I'll PM you my Ex-boyfriend's address. Send them there.
  • oldandhealthier
    oldandhealthier Posts: 449 Member
    start your own D#cks dynasty.:blushing:
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    I actually just wanted to IBTL but I was curious, so Google.

    http://www.sextoyrecycling.com/howitworks.html

    Their tagline: "Love Yourself, Love The Planet"

    i didn't know this was an option! that's good to know.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
    I know this is hypothetical, but I've never before felt torn between extending my hypothetical condolences and laughing at hypothetical ducks. Interesting.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    It's sad that you're obviously making this post to try to be funny or get attention at your deceased relative's expense, especially w/your family photo right there on your profile. I believe that you actually found these things, and also believe that you know what to do w/them...because it's obvious you should trash them. How would you feel if someone was going through YOUR things after you died & found a questionable item & decided to turn it into a big laugh on a public website. Have a little respect for the dead.

    Wouldn't care because.....ummm.....dead.

    Besides, when it's a person you loved dearly, sometimes laughter helps heal the pain of a loss. I hope when I die, people find something to laugh about when they clear out my junk. Just don't open the red box marked "Cleveland."

    Yeah... and for all you know the dead person might have found this whole thing quite hysterical. I mean you can't be too uptight if you keep a big bag of d*cks lying around.
  • ArtemisRuns
    ArtemisRuns Posts: 251 Member
    Just...just throw the ducks away.

    No one is going to want a used duck anyway. And I doubt anyone goes to the Salvation Army looking to purchase a used duck.

    ^ this. and never speak of it again.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Ok, so then take the trash bag with the ducks somewhere else. There are trash recepticals EVERYWHERE! Gas station, grocery store, library, etc. if the bag's too big then find a construction site with a dumpster and throw it in there when no one's around. Or just take it straight to the local dump.

    I had a similar situation, and that's what I did. I drove across town to an apartment complex, and chucked them in their dumpster. Noone will ever know whose they were if they go diving.
  • UnleashingLovely
    UnleashingLovely Posts: 205
    1. Take the ducks to a stranger's garage sale (preferably a girl scout/boy scout or church mission fundraiser.)

    2. Quietly place the ducks on a crowded table when no one is looking.

    3. Stand where you can discreetly photograph the faces of the shoppers with your iPhone.

    4. Post the pictures here.
    Do this(:
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    It's sad that you're obviously making this post to try to be funny or get attention at your deceased relative's expense, especially w/your family photo right there on your profile. I believe that you actually found these things, and also believe that you know what to do w/them...because it's obvious you should trash them. How would you feel if someone was going through YOUR things after you died & found a questionable item & decided to turn it into a big laugh on a public website. Have a little respect for the dead.

    Wouldn't care because.....ummm.....dead.

    Besides, when it's a person you loved dearly, sometimes laughter helps heal the pain of a loss. I hope when I die, people find something to laugh about when they clear out my junk. Just don't open the red box marked "Cleveland."

    Not only dead, but with that many toys, probably died happy. :smokin:
  • Event_Horizon975
    Event_Horizon975 Posts: 226 Member
    It's sad that you're obviously making this post to try to be funny or get attention at your deceased relative's expense, especially w/your family photo right there on your profile. I believe that you actually found these things, and also believe that you know what to do w/them...because it's obvious you should trash them. How would you feel if someone was going through YOUR things after you died & found a questionable item & decided to turn it into a big laugh on a public website. Have a little respect for the dead.

    Wouldn't care because.....ummm.....dead.

    Besides, when it's a person you loved dearly, sometimes laughter helps heal the pain of a loss. I hope when I die, people find something to laugh about when they clear out my junk. Just don't open the red box marked "Cleveland."

    Not only dead, but with that many toys, probably died a happy. :smokin:
    That's how I'm going out!
  • Nix143
    Nix143 Posts: 522 Member
    Speaking as somone who owns a few ducks

    1. My mates have a key to my house and in the event something should happen to me they know to hit it before my mum does

    2. Sell them. Buy something that reminds you of deceased person. They are inanimate objects that hopefully brought a lot of pleasure in their time. They are able to be sterilised. Personally I stick mine in the dishwasher - you might want to think about whether you accept a dinner invitation from me or not.........:tongue:

    3. An ex and I split up - bad times and lots of trauma. In a fit of rage one day she put out our 'special suitcase' for the bin men. I am haunted by the idea of that suitcase falling out of the back of the lorry and splitting open as it tumbled down onto the mound of refuse :laugh: and then I laugh. Because life is short, sex is ace and laughter is even better.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Lmao!! Who needs a bag of *kitten* lol One's not enough? Kinky, triple penetration?

    It makes you feel more slutty, like you're with a bunch of different guys taknig turns.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    I'd sell them on craigslist.

    Or you could always just give them to the relatives' widowed spouse.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • CarmenSRT
    CarmenSRT Posts: 843 Member
    Well, HYPOTHETICALLY speaking one cannot donate used, er, DUCKS. The DUCKS would be contaminated with various, um, fluids that would make them unsafe for anyone else to use.

    This is definitely today's WTF thread.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    There is a reason my best friend knows to find the box beside my bed marked "Honeymoon" and dispose of the contents in the event of my death...

    And I know to clear out the hidden compartment of her underwear drawer. Gotta love best friends!

    What if you die together in a fiery car crash. You need backups.
  • SpleenThief
    SpleenThief Posts: 293 Member
    Donate them to a church.

    It was worth waking up today just to see this!
  • Maddalen101
    Maddalen101 Posts: 307 Member
    Donate them all to Westboro Baptist Church! They love practical jokes like that.

    Oh, and make sure the return address is also someone you don't like.


    I second this suggestion!
  • jetlag
    jetlag Posts: 800 Member
    I say send them to Tracy Emin. I'm sure she could do something very interesting with them.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    In some countries, it is required by law to put them with your recycling instead of the trash.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Lmao!! Who needs a bag of *kitten* lol One's not enough? Kinky, triple penetration?

    Okay Ms. Judgy McJudgerson maybe she was a collector?

    Ducks.in_.a.row_.condense.jpg

    He who throws the first duck, must duck! No seriously DUCK! Incoming!
  • LabAgility
    LabAgility Posts: 120 Member
    I always wanted to start a business just for situations like these.

    You pay a small fee as a retainer . If something happens I will open your home, take all the lube, porn, toys, etc... Then I will replace it with lifetime movies, a bible, letters from kids in other countries you've been supporting, etc.

    Instant image change: from a kinkster to a do-gooder your family would be proud of!
  • tehboxingkitteh
    tehboxingkitteh Posts: 1,574 Member
    Bury them in the backyard so the next owner with a dog will have the pleasure of finding the buried treasure. Even have a mini ceremony, grave markers and everything.
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
    Lmao!! Who needs a bag of *kitten* lol One's not enough? Kinky, triple penetration?

    It makes you feel more slutty, like you're with a bunch of different guys taknig turns.

    Makes sense
  • Pangea250
    Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
    1. Take the ducks to a stranger's garage sale (preferably a girl scout/boy scout or church mission fundraiser.)

    2. Quietly place the ducks on a crowded table when no one is looking.

    3. Stand where you can discreetly photograph the faces of the shoppers with your iPhone.

    4. Post the pictures here.
    OMG. You win for funniest post of the day!
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
    Lmao!! Who needs a bag of *kitten* lol One's not enough? Kinky, triple penetration?

    Okay Ms. Judgy McJudgerson maybe she was a collector?

    Ducks.in_.a.row_.condense.jpg

    He who throws the first duck, must duck! No seriously DUCK! Incoming!

    Lmao!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    It's sad that you're obviously making this post to try to be funny or get attention at your deceased relative's expense, especially w/your family photo right there on your profile. I believe that you actually found these things, and also believe that you know what to do w/them...because it's obvious you should trash them. How would you feel if someone was going through YOUR things after you died & found a questionable item & decided to turn it into a big laugh on a public website. Have a little respect for the dead.

    Wouldn't care because.....ummm.....dead.

    Besides, when it's a person you loved dearly, sometimes laughter helps heal the pain of a loss. I hope when I die, people find something to laugh about when they clear out my junk. Just don't open the red box marked "Cleveland."

    Yeah... and for all you know the dead person might have found this whole thing quite hysterical. I mean you can't be too uptight if you keep a big back of d*cks lying around.

    Literally.
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