Best Marriage Advice

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Replies

  • MelMoly
    MelMoly Posts: 1,303 Member
    Don't let the sun go down on your anger: Settle any real fight before you go to sleep.

    Also, make date-nights a regular occurance. Otherwise, once life gets in the way, the romance is lost.

    not going to bed angry is terrible advice... sleeping on it makes everything easier to deal with, if the "fight" even really matters to begin with.... its easy to get caught up in the moment... taking a step back and realizing it won't matter in 5 years or even the morning is way better than staying up all night arguing (no sleep, crabby, bad for work next day...causes then resentment...go to sleep)
  • TheRunningGuppy
    TheRunningGuppy Posts: 651 Member
    Talk to you spouse. Don't assume they have mind reading powers.
  • dirty_dirty_eater
    dirty_dirty_eater Posts: 574 Member
    Decide if you would rather be happy or you'd rather be right. Sometimes you can have both, but usually being happy trumps being right for me.

    Got it on the first try.
    Please, please...teach my wife that one.

    The compulsion to be right should be replaced with one to do right.
  • Pangea250
    Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
    My parents have been married for 54 years. Something my father told me years ago: Marriage is not a 50/50 give-and-take. If each person gives 100%, then no one has to take.
  • kevinjb1
    kevinjb1 Posts: 233 Member
    My advise? Don't.
  • bamabutterfly83
    bamabutterfly83 Posts: 73 Member
    Naked breakfast...once a week...That's what advice I got before I got married...
  • Pangea250
    Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
    Decide if you would rather be happy or you'd rather be right. Sometimes you can have both, but usually being happy trumps being right for me.

    Got it on the first try.
    Please, please...teach my wife that one.

    The compulsion to be right should be replaced with one to do right.

    Wow, way to proclaim how right you are.
  • workout_ninja
    workout_ninja Posts: 524 Member
    never stop making an effort.
  • AJL_Daddy
    AJL_Daddy Posts: 525 Member
    My best advice: Marriage is hard. Damn hard. Especially when you have kids. Be ready to work!

    The speech I gave at my brother's wedding, COMPROMISE. No one is ever 100% right. Meet in the middle.
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
    Continue to treat your partner as if you're still "dating".

    Every once in a while my man brings me flowers, or chocolates. Every time I go shopping anywhere with cards, I look to see if there are any that remind me of him. I hide them in his car randomly. Sometimes we ditch the kids and go out to a movie. We hold hands.

    I'll wear something sexy and seduce him---do something a little more exotic than the standard blow jobs and steak dinners he gets regularly for having the good sense to be with me.

    These are the things that were lacking in my failed marriage. (besides that he doesn't beat me. That's advice too. Don't beat your spouse.)
    .
    .
    .
    The other day I woke up in the morning, long after my partner had gone to work in the dark hours of the day. I put on a cup of coffee and went to weigh myself (as is my routine) and my scale wouldn't work. The digital display was glowing a bit, but it couldn't read it, so I flipped on the bathroom light to see what was going on

    the display had been covered up by a piece of paper that read "PERFECT" (my profile picture now).

    Those little things keep "the spark" alive.

    Don't take your person for granted,

    neither allow yourself to be taken for granted.


    I love this post. :flowerforyou:
  • thisdarkpassenger
    thisdarkpassenger Posts: 76 Member
    My best marriage advice is...don't get married.
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
    Live in separate homes. In different states.

    *snort* You'd like him here and you know it ;)

    truth. my shower head needs a break.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Naked breakfast...once a week...That's what advice I got before I got married...

    I wouldn't be able to eat.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    My parents have been married for 54 years. Something my father told me years ago: Marriage is not a 50/50 give-and-take. If each person gives 100%, then no one has to take.

    Love this!
  • Rosplosion
    Rosplosion Posts: 739 Member
    Decide if you would rather be happy or you'd rather be right. Sometimes you can have both, but usually being happy trumps being right for me.

    Got it on the first try.
    Please, please...teach my wife that one.

    The compulsion to be right should be replaced with one to do right.

    I like that. DO right.
  • Pangea250
    Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
    Continue to treat your partner as if you're still "dating".

    Every once in a while my man brings me flowers, or chocolates. Every time I go shopping anywhere with cards, I look to see if there are any that remind me of him. I hide them in his car randomly. Sometimes we ditch the kids and go out to a movie. We hold hands.

    I'll wear something sexy and seduce him---do something a little more exotic than the standard blow jobs and steak dinners he gets regularly for having the good sense to be with me.

    These are the things that were lacking in my failed marriage. (besides that he doesn't beat me. That's advice too. Don't beat your spouse.)
    .
    .
    .
    The other day I woke up in the morning, long after my partner had gone to work in the dark hours of the day. I put on a cup of coffee and went to weigh myself (as is my routine) and my scale wouldn't work. The digital display was glowing a bit, but it couldn't read it, so I flipped on the bathroom light to see what was going on

    the display had been covered up by a piece of paper that read "PERFECT" (my profile picture now).

    Those little things keep "the spark" alive.

    Don't take your person for granted,

    neither allow yourself to be taken for granted.

    :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile:
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    Aim your sexuality at each other, not at anyone else.
  • junejadesky
    junejadesky Posts: 524 Member
    Make out everyday..... EVERYDAY......
  • Way2slk
    Way2slk Posts: 48 Member
    Make a commitment: There are times I am going to screw up and there are times you are going to drive me nuts, but I love you and I am in this for the long haul. Compromise and bring her coffee for no reason.

    One important thing I found: 28 years of marriage.... Find her love language. There are 5 and if you find out what her language (How she feels love) is and keep her love tank filled. For a few years, I would buy her gifts and she would just say "That's nice" and I found out she feels love by me, getting her car washed, emptying the dishwasher, taking her car for maintenance (Service) make sure every day she gets coffee.

    Time spent
    Service
    Touch
    Words of affirmation
    Gifts
    Find out your mates language and you got have got it made. Dr. Gary Chapman... 5 Love Languages.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    Best advice:

    If you have a problem with your spouse, do NOT post about it on public forums and air all your dirty laundry for the world to see.
  • ChristiH4000
    ChristiH4000 Posts: 531 Member
    I don't know how to rank these, and am divorced ....
    Honesty/openness
    Forgiveness
    Keeping intimacy a priority
  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
    1. If you ever fear your spouse might cheat/leave you, treat them in a way that makes them want to stay (because chances are the fear is in your head and not reality anyway).
    2. Don't have constant "headaches". Would it really kill ya to "take one for the team" now and again?
    3. Be cautious about opposite sex friendships. I'm not saying they can't be safe, but be cautious.
    4. Don't tell all your friends about your issues with your spouse. Tell your spouse.
    5. Always kiss goodnight. Even when you're mad. Kiss goodnight.
    6. Never intentionally make your spouse feel jealous.
    7. Avoid passive-agressive behavior. If you've got an issue with them, tell them.
    8. If you can't live with any part of the person you're about to marry (bad habits, etc.), don't marry them thinking it will get better, change, etc.
    9. Be careful what you say and how you say it. Words can be a weapon, and once released, cannot be retrieved. Be cautious about using words like "divorce", "hate", etc.
    10. Use the words "always" and "never" sparingly, as in "you always forget to take the trash out", "you never want to do what I want to do".
    11. When conflict arises, start your sentences with the word "I", and not the word "You". "I feel like you don't care about me when you don't make time for me" comes off a lot better than "YOU never make time for me." Same information, but the first is generally better received.

    I could go on for days, but I'll leave it at that.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    Live in separate homes. In different states.

    No need to go that far, but I need to have my time alone. I get grumpy if I feel like someone is always interrupting me or looking over my shoulder. With time to myself, I can feel like time together is special.

    Also, snuggling is just as important as sex.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Best advice:

    If you have a problem with your spouse, do NOT post about it on public forums and air all your dirty laundry for the world to see.

    Amen.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Realize that when she says "The trash looks full" it not only means she wants you to take it out, (immediately) but that she also wants you to actually put another bag in the damn can....

    Convo...
    her - trash looks full
    Me - yep go, go go...aw come on why did you cut back to the middle?
    H - I need you to take it out
    m - ok
    H - today would be great
    M - ok got it on commercial
    H - (heavy sigh)
    M- I go and grab the entire can, to save time, and get the liner out an in the outside can. I drop off the kitchen can sliding back thru.
    H - The can does not have a liner in it.
    M - no, but you can find them under the sink.
    H - but I asked you to take out the trash...
    M - and that is what I did...if you wanted me to put a can liner in it you should have included that in the operating direction boss...
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member

    2. Don't have constant "headaches". Would it really kill ya to "take one for the team" now and again?

    LMFAO!!
  • scarrletti_girl
    scarrletti_girl Posts: 479 Member
    Continue to treat your partner as if you're still "dating".

    Every once in a while my man brings me flowers, or chocolates. Every time I go shopping anywhere with cards, I look to see if there are any that remind me of him. I hide them in his car randomly. Sometimes we ditch the kids and go out to a movie. We hold hands.

    I'll wear something sexy and seduce him---do something a little more exotic than the standard blow jobs and steak dinners he gets regularly for having the good sense to be with me.

    These are the things that were lacking in my failed marriage. (besides that he doesn't beat me. That's advice too. Don't beat your spouse.)
    .
    .
    .
    The other day I woke up in the morning, long after my partner had gone to work in the dark hours of the day. I put on a cup of coffee and went to weigh myself (as is my routine) and my scale wouldn't work. The digital display was glowing a bit, but it couldn't read it, so I flipped on the bathroom light to see what was going on

    the display had been covered up by a piece of paper that read "PERFECT" (my profile picture now).

    Those little things keep "the spark" alive.

    Don't take your person for granted,

    neither allow yourself to be taken for granted.

    wow! yes!. i love this i almost started crying when you talked about the scale thing lol :smile:
  • caramelgyrlk
    caramelgyrlk Posts: 1,112 Member
    "Never let your husband leave the house with an empty stomach and full balls".

    Terribly sexist. But the person who said it has been happily married for 35 years...

    Not sexist, but the absolute TRUTH
  • Pixeebug
    Pixeebug Posts: 34 Member
    Never forget why you fell in love.
  • Curvimami
    Curvimami Posts: 1,851 Member
    Treat your spouse like you don't deserve them so you're doing everything you can to keep them.

    ^^^Love this one :love:

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