Best Marriage Advice

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Replies

  • kevinjb1
    kevinjb1 Posts: 233 Member
    Make a commitment: There are times I am going to screw up and there are times you are going to drive me nuts, but I love you and I am in this for the long haul. Compromise and bring her coffee for no reason.

    One important thing I found: 28 years of marriage.... Find her love language. There are 5 and if you find out what her language (How she feels love) is and keep her love tank filled. For a few years, I would buy her gifts and she would just say "That's nice" and I found out she feels love by me, getting her car washed, emptying the dishwasher, taking her car for maintenance (Service) make sure every day she gets coffee.

    Time spent
    Service
    Touch
    Words of affirmation
    Gifts
    Find out your mates language and you got have got it made. Dr. Gary Chapman... 5 Love Languages.

    This is very true. My ex wanted service and gifts lots and lots of expensive gifts :laugh: My current taught me about these love languages and she wants touch, words of affirmation, and time. Everyone is different.
  • thebigcb
    thebigcb Posts: 2,210 Member
    Don;t get married
  • angiewf
    angiewf Posts: 171 Member
    Before you get into any kind of argument, ask yourself 3 questions:

    1. Is it a matter of principle?

    2. Will it change anything?

    3.Can I live with it?

    Only go ahead if the answers are yes, yes, and no.
  • caramelgyrlk
    caramelgyrlk Posts: 1,112 Member
    Continue to treat your partner as if you're still "dating".

    Every once in a while my man brings me flowers, or chocolates. Every time I go shopping anywhere with cards, I look to see if there are any that remind me of him. I hide them in his car randomly. Sometimes we ditch the kids and go out to a movie. We hold hands.

    I'll wear something sexy and seduce him---do something a little more exotic than the standard blow jobs and steak dinners he gets regularly for having the good sense to be with me.

    These are the things that were lacking in my failed marriage. (besides that he doesn't beat me. That's advice too. Don't beat your spouse.)
    .
    .
    .
    The other day I woke up in the morning, long after my partner had gone to work in the dark hours of the day. I put on a cup of coffee and went to weigh myself (as is my routine) and my scale wouldn't work. The digital display was glowing a bit, but it couldn't read it, so I flipped on the bathroom light to see what was going on

    the display had been covered up by a piece of paper that read "PERFECT" (my profile picture now).

    Those little things keep "the spark" alive.

    Don't take your person for granted,

    neither allow yourself to be taken for granted.

    This one also
  • michelefrench
    michelefrench Posts: 814 Member
    ** f**k him or feed him*** daily.....
  • YouAreTheShit
    YouAreTheShit Posts: 510 Member
    "LIKING" each other is WAY more important than LOVING each other. PERIOD
  • JGT2004
    JGT2004 Posts: 231 Member
    Bump (will hopefully need in the near future :smile:)
  • txin1
    txin1 Posts: 100 Member
    Don't do it.
  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member

    2. Don't have constant "headaches". Would it really kill ya to "take one for the team" now and again?

    LMFAO!!

    Seriously. I defy you to show me one woman who willingly "got busy" with her spouse even though she wasn't in the mood that afterward found herself thinking "now why did I do that", unless of course he's a dud in that department, in which case you have bigger issues than whether or not you're in the mood.
  • ksimmons19
    ksimmons19 Posts: 223 Member
    Hot sex. Every.Single.Day.

    Hurd dat^
  • vrhamilton78
    vrhamilton78 Posts: 18
    Continue to treat your partner as if you're still "dating".

    Every once in a while my man brings me flowers, or chocolates. Every time I go shopping anywhere with cards, I look to see if there are any that remind me of him. I hide them in his car randomly. Sometimes we ditch the kids and go out to a movie. We hold hands.

    I'll wear something sexy and seduce him---do something a little more exotic than the standard blow jobs and steak dinners he gets regularly for having the good sense to be with me.

    These are the things that were lacking in my failed marriage. (besides that he doesn't beat me. That's advice too. Don't beat your spouse.)
    .
    .
    .
    The other day I woke up in the morning, long after my partner had gone to work in the dark hours of the day. I put on a cup of coffee and went to weigh myself (as is my routine) and my scale wouldn't work. The digital display was glowing a bit, but it couldn't read it, so I flipped on the bathroom light to see what was going on

    the display had been covered up by a piece of paper that read "PERFECT" (my profile picture now).

    Those little things keep "the spark" alive.

    Don't take your person for granted,

    neither allow yourself to be taken for granted.

    THIS. LOVE this.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Hot sex. Every.Single.Day.

    And sometimes with each other!
  • MariaAkeroyd
    MariaAkeroyd Posts: 96 Member
    Never lie.
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    Don't stop doing the little things for each other.

    Communicate. Even when it's difficult, you need to be honest, open, and support each other.

    Don't be afraid to compromise and forgive each other for faults. I've always told my husband that the only things he could do to make me leave would be to cheat on me or start beating on me. Everything else we can work out.
  • dodihere
    dodihere Posts: 490
    My personal advice.

    Make sure he is not gay.
  • chatipati1
    chatipati1 Posts: 211 Member
    stash money away
  • thebigcb
    thebigcb Posts: 2,210 Member
    Never lie.

    If we told you the truth you'd never marry us in the first place lol
  • zeebruhgirl
    zeebruhgirl Posts: 493 Member
    Mine may sound pessimistic, but don't expect a fairy tale.
    I love my husband more than anything but sometimes life gets hard. Don't get pissed off that he left the toilet seat up and other little things that are only minor inconveniences.

    Also, never go to bed angry. (Have crazy make up sex first duhhhh)
  • met42485
    met42485 Posts: 71 Member
    Well, as a divorcee I'm a bit jaded on the subject. But if you're going to get married...

    Have sex. Lots of it. Even if you aren't exactly in the mood, go for it.
    Don't sleep in separate beds in the same house. No matter how angry you are with each other, as long as you're trying to work it out sleep next to each other, even if you don't touch.
    Hug/kiss every single day.
    Settle on who will do the dishes before you get married. I swear this was the ultimate cause of my divorce :laugh:
    Oh and if you're going to cheat, either be up front about it from the beginning or don't deny it when you get caught
  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
    Hot sex. Every.Single.Day.

    This...

    And, at all other times, always be polite with each other. :)
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    "LIKING" each other is WAY more important than LOVING each other. PERIOD

    'Love' is more than how you feel at any moment. It's a verb, and it's what you do.
  • christinarayburn3
    christinarayburn3 Posts: 22 Member
    If it was a problem before the marriage, it will be a problem after the marriage.
  • trishgrace
    trishgrace Posts: 279 Member
    Tell them you love them. Daily. Multiple times a day even. Never let doubt creep into their mind. Always kiss them goodbye before you leave.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    Man, some good stuff in here!
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
    Oh...and the other important one:

    Marry your best friend...You know, because sometimes the passion fizzles out, or God forbid something physically happens that prevents you from being able to be intimate...you want to live out the remainder of your (hopefully not sexless) days with someone you truly enjoy being with.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    Understand that when you get married, you have to work to make that marriage successful. It's easy to fall back and slack off, but you can't do that if you want to stay happily married.

    Two of the most important parts of marriage are trust and intimacy.

    I read somewhere that the happiest long time married couples (over 20 years) had sex 3-5 times a week. Aim for that and you have a very good chance to be successful.

    Remember that there will be bumps in the road. How you deal with those bumps is the key to whether your marriage will make it through.

    I've been with my husband for 23 years and we've had our ups and downs, but I can honestly say that we are more in love today than when we got married. We are each other's best friend and we say "I love you" several times a day and every time we end a phone call with each other. We make each other our priority. Every morning when I am making my breakfast to take to work, I fix his breakfast and set up the coffee pot so all he has to do is turn it on when he gets up. He makes me dinner every single night. Even if he doesn't happen to be hungry.
  • littlelaura
    littlelaura Posts: 1,028 Member
    Have an open marriage or hmm well no wait ...maybe that was have an open mind, never go to bed angry even if you have to stay up till 3 in the morning, hashing it out. Always say your sorry it isn't admitting your wrong, just that you are sorry for anything hurtful said, and always say I love you, you never know when it will be your last chance to say it to them, so if you really do, make sure they know.
  • nhouse3417
    nhouse3417 Posts: 105
    Bump.

    Most everything has been said. Great post!
  • HealthyBodySickMind
    HealthyBodySickMind Posts: 1,207 Member
    Treat your spouse like you don't deserve them so you're doing everything you can to keep them.

    ^^^My husband and I both treat each other this way.



    Apparently, as near as I can tell from talking to my parents (who have been married 41 years) the key to a long marriage is to never talk to each other. I usually have to have the same conversation with each of them separately to get a whole story because they never seem to tell each other what is really going on. They are still very happily married after 41 years, and still hold hands in public.
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
    Understand that when you get married, you have to work to make that marriage successful. It's easy to fall back and slack off, but you can't do that if you want to stay happily married.

    Two of the most important parts of marriage are trust and intimacy.

    I read somewhere that the happiest long time married couples (over 20 years) had sex 3-5 times a week. Aim for that and you have a very good chance to be successful.

    Remember that there will be bumps in the road. How you deal with those bumps is the key to whether your marriage will make it through.

    I've been with my husband for 23 years and we've had our ups and downs, but I can honestly say that we are more in love today than when we got married. We are each other's best friend and we say "I love you" several times a day and every time we end a phone call with each other. We make each other our priority. Every morning when I am making my breakfast to take to work, I fix his breakfast and set up the coffee pot so all he has to do is turn it on when he gets up. He makes me dinner every single night. Even if he doesn't happen to be hungry.


    :flowerforyou: :love:

    This is awesome!

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