Why are people so mean

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  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    The awesome people are the people who give both sides and don't assume anything.

    I have talked to them. It's always some excuse. One friend told me she didn't think i even ate mexivan food......we have been friends for 15 years..I do......the other one said we don't shop at the same stores.....yes we do, we always have. Though Im just a really nice person....and when other people are doing good with their life, I celebrate it and encourage it. I don't alienate.

    Some of you should not be on a supportive and.motivational website. Then again...ignorance causes me anger which only motivates me even harder.

    I think we found who the problem is in your relationship dynamics.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    You are not alone! I have been dealing w/ this too. Especially the veggie thing. I'm pescetarian actually, so there are lots of things I can eat and I don't even mind bringing my own food to a get-together...but I'm feeling left out all of the time for this reason. People seem to think I'll be offended by going anywhere with burgers served. No! They need to get it right, and when I try to explain it seems to fall on deaf ears.

    However...I've kind of been on the other side of this, and I don't wanna say you're bragging or being obnoxious because it does NOT sound like you are. I have a friend who has lost a lot of weight, for her (she wasn't that big to begin with) and she gets so preachy toward everyone about carbs. It is more annoying than she probably realizes. Also, she's had a big surge of confidence but in my opinion it's kind of a false confidence because she used to think she was the ugliest, frumpiest thing ever and now she seems to think every guy wants her and every girl is jealous of her. In reality, nope...she's just looking thinner and better, but no one is THAT interested in it except her! hehe
  • missylee117
    missylee117 Posts: 66 Member
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    Just take care of yourself, if they were true friends and family, they wouldn't judge you or unfriend you, maybe your better w/out them. Keep up the good work, we're all here for you, ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE YOU~ YOU CANT CHANGE THEM
  • GadgetGuy2
    GadgetGuy2 Posts: 291 Member
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    My opinions on why many people are so mean;

    1.) They are addicted to their own adrenalin. When they engage in conflict, adrenalin starts to flow, the body gets a rush of energy and heightened awareness. So they like conflict.
    2.) It makes them feel "better than thou". By concentrating on the specks in other people's eyes, they don't have to acknowledge the specks in their own eyes (i.e. you're so screwed up relative to me, so I must be great).

    Bottom line. Dump 'em if they are in your social circle. Then ignore their aggression (physical confrontation is different). If you respond, it will trigger item 1 above and they will press the conflict forward even more(i.e. don't feed them their drug of choice, adrenalin, as it only amplifies the addiction and motivates them to be even meaner).
  • nyrina4life
    nyrina4life Posts: 196 Member
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    Reading your post, makes me wonder. Please, understand I am not trying to be mean. Just throwing out my perspective.

    It is possible you have given off signals that come across wrong to them. You could have made a comment, that didn't register with you as bad, that came off wrong to them. Also, maybe it is just me, but I don't think you needed to tell us that your friends are fat. It's information we really don't need to know. You kind of threw them under the bus, and I get that you're upset and hurt but we really didn't need to know that they're not 'healthy.'

    I do honestly believe you need to sit down and have a talk with your friends. It may be a painful experience for both sides, but everyone needs to put their cards on the table and get it all out of their system so you can decide whether these friends are worth the effort or not. Same with family.

    Again, I'm not trying to be mean or anything. Just giving my opinion and you know, it is awesome that you are instilling great health values for your kids and family.
  • SweetSailor
    SweetSailor Posts: 81 Member
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    I have/had a friend with different political views than myself, who've I've know about 20 years. We were fine for years, but as we've aged, she's became more engrossed in her beliefs, which unfortunately could come across as insulting to my beliefs, lifestyle and relationships. While I cannot imagine she was being deliberately mean, she would sometimes try to 'change' my option or stance on MY OWN politics.

    Not long ago, I had a dinner party and I did not invite her. Thanks to Facebook she found out and made a thing of it. I gave the lame excuse I did not think she'd want to make the drive to my house. However, I really didn't want her there. I wanted a nice fun evening of people that don't stress me out. Recently, she struck again and I'm putting her on ice.

    I'm sure she's somewhere on some christian republican website complaining about how mean and jealous I am.
  • nyrina4life
    nyrina4life Posts: 196 Member
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    OP deactivated her account. Pretty telling IMO.

    Oh jeez. Where's a butt hurt or cry gif when needed???

    The internet is full of people, you'll get opinions from everyone when you ask a question! Some will just stroke the ego and say, "Yes, you're a saint and they're just evil, jealous people." and others will just tell it like they see it.
  • GadgetGuy2
    GadgetGuy2 Posts: 291 Member
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    OP deactivated her account. Pretty telling IMO.

    The typical sequence would be for the mean spirited to escalate the verbal abuse to death and rape threats.

    Very civilized.......NOT!
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    I agree with everyone, they are jealous!

    And by "everyone", you mean "about half of the responses so far", right?



    And personally, I think everyone is jealous of me because I'm not prone to hyperbole.


    Anyhow, I'm...

    In...

    ...to see where the conversation goes from here.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Some of you should not be on a supportive and.motivational website. Then again...ignorance causes me anger which only motivates me even harder.

    Huh?

    ETA: Oh, I see OP deactivated...

    ...and this was just another MFPragequitpartingshotflouncepost.

    ETAM:
    The typical sequence would be for the mean spirited to escalate the verbal abuse to death and rape threats.

    Very civilized.......NOT!
    Huh?

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