Am I being rude by not going to dinner with my family?

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  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    I think you're blowing this way out of proportion. Just go and order a salad or something; I've never eaten at any restaurant that didn't have some kind of vegetarian option.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    I think you're blowing this way out of proportion. Just go and order a salad or something; I've never eaten at any restaurant that didn't have some kind of vegetarian option.

    ^And I'm going with this too. I've never been to a restaurant in the US that didn't have "plain" salad available.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    No offense. How long have you been a vegetarian? I was a veggie for 15 years. I never had an issue. If the place was nice enough to have freshly caught fish, they were always able to just make something for me. Even if it was a combo of sides. Even at a BBQ place I've been able to find something.

    Its not awkward to call and ask them ahead of time. They probably appreciate it, and maybe they will put a vegetarian option on their menu in the future.
  • britzzie
    britzzie Posts: 341 Member
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    I think you're blowing this way out of proportion. Just go and order a salad or something; I've never eaten at any restaurant that didn't have some kind of vegetarian option.

    ^And I'm going with this too. I've never been to a restaurant in the US that didn't have "plain" salad available.

    Yep. You seem perfectly nice. But I think you're making excuses not to go. Sorry :flowerforyou:
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
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    No.
  • DashDeV
    DashDeV Posts: 545 Member
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    What is the name of the fish restaurant? Just order some fries and a salad.

    You are over thinking this.
  • tlou5
    tlou5 Posts: 497 Member
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    Go. I am sure there will be SOMETHING on the menu you can eat. I think you make the evening more about you if you don't go than if you do.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    ....
    (they just asked me if I wanted to go this morning, and have had the plans for weeks)
    ....

    Thoughts?

    That's enough for a guilt-free "nope" from me ..
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    I agree that you are being rude. Just go and have some veggies and bread, or eat before or after instead. But being a vegetarian is not a valid excuse for avoiding spending time with your family.
  • cleotherio
    cleotherio Posts: 712 Member
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    I am a vegetarian and I have never had that much trouble going to any kind of restaurant......I feel like you are blowing this situation way out of proportion.

    Agreed. And call the restaurant and ask if you're that concerned. I'm sure you won't be the first vegetarian to walk through their door.
  • suzeya
    suzeya Posts: 12
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    eat before you go and have a glass of wine. i often go out to eat and don't actually eat anything. i'll drink my dinner, have a coffee, or dessert.
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
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    You sound like a right pain, and a drama queen. You say you don't want the night to be about you but its already all about you, isn't it! Making a drama about not going is making it about you. Show some manners and go, order a fish dish , eat the sides and leave the fish with absolutely no comment to anyone.
    if you are going to make a stand on food choices like this you need to find a way to still have some manners and social skills!!!!
  • kkveggie
    kkveggie Posts: 56 Member
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    I've been a vegetarian for 9 years and there has never been a restaurant where there wasn't a single thing for me to eat (that is including seafood places and steak houses). Sometimes there are limited options, but I can always find at least a side salad or some steamed vegetables. Don't worry about asking the servers about vegetarian options, they are used to it and there have been many times that they have offered to alter items to fit my needs.

    As for the comments. If you are newly vegetarian people are going to comment on it, ask questions, and crack jokes. It's a natural thing for people to do when something is different than what they are used to. It will go away over time. The jokes and questions (yes, I've gotten the whole religious lectures too) used to bug me, but now it doesn't because I realize that people are just trying to understand my choices and who knows maybe your answers will open their mind to vegetarianism.

    Your family wants you to be there, go.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
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    I am a vegetarian and I have never had that much trouble going to any kind of restaurant......I feel like you are blowing this situation way out of proportion.

    This. Completely this. No restaurant on earth is not going to at least have a dinner salad or baked potato you could have ala carte. Way too much drama going on here....
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Um, you are way, waaaaay overthinking this. I doubt there is a restaurant anywhere that doesn't have non-meat items on the menu. Do you think every single menu option has fish and nothing else and that you will be forced by the restaurant manager to eat it against your will?

    This is your family. And it's probably going to be an important night for your family. Go to dinner with them, and stop making your uncle's big night all about your vegetarianism.
  • sharonfoustmills
    sharonfoustmills Posts: 519 Member
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    every fish restaurant also serves salad, vegetables, etc., so either go or don't go, but don't use what they serve as an excuse because there is something on every restaurant menu that a vegetarian can eat
  • Melissa22G
    Melissa22G Posts: 847 Member
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    Family is family.

    I would think it's rude if you were my daughter and didn't go. Especially if I was paying for it, no matter how old you are you are still your mom's kid.

    BUT,

    If there is nothing there for you to eat offer alternatives. When I was vegan I still ate at a steak place with my family because they had salads and sides without meat or dairy products.

    I say go or you'll be thought of as going through a phase or the angry vegetarian to your misunderstanding family.
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
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    Normally I'd say go and just say "I don't want to get into this subject right now" when pushed. Your protests about the potential conversations would have seemed like rationalizing the fact that you don't want to go.

    That was up until an experience this time last year. My wife and I went out for dinner with our neighbors and some of their friends that were visiting (who happen to be missionaries). The subject of religion came up, and I sat by and respectfully listened until I was directly asked about my religion and I stated I was atheist. Of course, the flood gates opened. I said, quite clearly "I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not interested in defending my lack of faith, can we change the subject?". That didn't deter him, and the next 2 hours was a barrage of questions about why I didn't believe in God. It was absolutely unbelievable, and incredibly rude.

    So given this, I'm going to say "don't go". Some (not all) religious people simply cannot control themselves in that situation.
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
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    I didn't read the responses but every restaurant that I've ever been to will accommodate almost anyone as long as it's within their means. I'm sure you could go and enjoy seasonal vegetables, fruits, etc and not cause a big fuss.

    Even if there isn't something on the menu you can just ask to speak with the cook or have the waiter communicate that you're a vegetarian and it should be really simple from that point on.

    I'm not sure how long you've been a vegetarian but it's not a disease or anything crazy most people will respect your decision and if they don't well then ****em it's none of their business.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,287 Member
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    yes rude. Really doubt the restaurant would care if you called and asked about salad options, really doubt they don't have some kind of salad option. Certainly they do not bring a filet of fish on a plain plate alone, there must be rice, potato, veggie options etc.

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