"Don't lose any more weight!"

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  • MuseofSong
    MuseofSong Posts: 322 Member
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    3. It's their way of acknowledging your weight loss. Believe it or not, talking about weight is very awkward for people. They want to give you praise for it, but sometimes just don't know how.

    ^This

    They're saying you look great and acknowledging your progress.

    Saying, 'Wow! You've lost a lot of weight!' is, to some people, as rude as calling you fat to your face. Good social etiquette dictates that we do not fixate on the mistakes or flaws of others, or at least, we do not verbally acknowledge them.

    Moms are a different story though. When I dropped 77 pounds, my step mom straight out asked me if I had lap band surgery. -.-; *sweatdrop*
    Now, that's embarrassing! Not that there's anything wrong with weight loss surgery! Just sayin'
  • jdm_taco
    jdm_taco Posts: 999 Member
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    jealousy and envy of your commitment
  • johnrossmckay
    johnrossmckay Posts: 66 Member
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    I take that as "I can't lose weight and you are doing it through hard work so I'll try and bring you down and make myself feel better by pretending like I know what is healthy". It doesn't wash with me. The last time I was told that I lifted my shirt, grabbed a roll of fat and said "Yeah I am concerned too. Concerned someone will convince me to stop before I reach a healthy weight".
  • liesevanlingen
    liesevanlingen Posts: 508 Member
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    I hear this a lot now. I haven't actually lost any weight since the beginning of the year, but people keep insisting that I'm still losing. Guess I'm replacing some of that fat with muscle, so maybe I look smaller. I'm 5'7 and weigh about 150, which puts me at a healthy BMI of 23 or 24. Not exactly seriously underweight here. I'd like to lose another 5 lbs of fat, but I'm not trying to lose weight. Just fat. People don't seem to get that's it's not the same thing
  • bahls24
    bahls24 Posts: 32 Member
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    I hear it all the time and I am 180pds and 5" 7"
    :explode:
  • SunOfMan
    SunOfMan Posts: 67 Member
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    I get this comment from a few people and it's getting increasingly annoying!

    I know they usually mean well but it starts to feel like they're actually belittling your achievement by implying you have some kind of eating disorder. At first I liked the fact my weight loss was being noticed but now I actually find it slightly insulting that they don't acknowledge the fact I put a lot of time and effort into doing this properly.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
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    yes, I've been told this by others, and I'm not even too a healthy BMI yet! I am 17 pounds overweight still, and no where near skinny, I'm a freaking 10/12/Medium depending on the brand of clothing.
  • 2pupsmama
    2pupsmama Posts: 77
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    There are several threads on this. You know, I am at the point where I just don't respond to that comment. And I never comment on someone's weight. If I notice someone's last weight, I just say
    "You are looking great, you look better ever time I see you".
    I truely believe every one is taking care of themselves at any one point in time the best they can with what they have and if they want to change , it's their decision and if they don't want to change, it's their decision....not mine!
    That is an excellent comment. Filing away for future.
  • VeeSis
    VeeSis Posts: 23
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    Oh yeah, heard that from two people, one of which is a very good friend. I think (not sure) that the taller one is, that it becomes an optical illusion. They seem startled when I tell them my weight. Of course, it could be a psychological thing as both people who have felt free to express that to me, are short and very fat. I dunno. I just smile and give them the facts about healthy BMI.
  • WanderingPomme
    WanderingPomme Posts: 601 Member
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    Some people have seen my pictures on Facebook and thought I had liposuction. LOL *shakes head*

    Also, a LOT of people don't recognize me anymore when I see them when I go out. Like whenever I'd wave hello and smile at them, they'd awkwardly wave back and smile and later they'd come up to me and say they had to ask our common friends who I was.
  • lornathommo
    lornathommo Posts: 16
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    Some people have seen my pictures on Facebook and thought I had liposuction. LOL *shakes head*

    Also, a LOT of people don't recognize me anymore when I see them when I go out. Like whenever I'd wave hello and smile at them, they'd awkwardly wave back and smile and later they'd come up to me and say they had to ask our common friends who I was.

    Haha! I love not being recognised by my patients, i find it so funny :)
  • plantgrrl
    plantgrrl Posts: 436 Member
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    Yes. When I was at where you are at now (high "normal" BMI). A LOT of my friends and family would say, "you look great, you don't need to lose anymore!" Right...

    My sister was the worst, she keep acting like I had an eating disorder (I was on weight watchers and was following the plan). When I would take my mom for walks once a week--she would act like I had anorexia and I was trying to make my mom anorexic (all the women in my family have weight issues; mom wanted someone to walk with her). (She has actually told people that I *am* or *was* anorexic.) So glad I live 3000 miles from her now--otherwise I might have throttled her to death.

    I'm of the opinion that mileage is the glue that holds families together. For some, 1 mile is enough. For me, 6000 see s too close sometimes.

    I think some people might have thought I was talking about my Mom here. Nope. My sister is a compulsive liar. She actually has admitted before that she lies to make her life/conversations more interesting. A while ago she told everyone who asked how I was that "I was so lonely where I was living, that I was knocking on doors of my neighbors, asking if they wanted to be friends with me."

    When I confronted her about it, she said, "it was because she hadn't heard from me in a week or two and she didn't want to say she didn't know how I was doing." *SMDH*

    I wouldn't mind being closer to my mom and dad and my sister's kids--who are great--but either of my sisters...hmm...I'd have to think about that for a minute.
  • hzliiz
    hzliiz Posts: 166 Member
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    I think people say things like this when someone becomes smaller than average. Keeping in mind the average American woman is size 12/14 I believe? So when you're larger than what's average and you're losing weight that resonates with people as "good" and they'll encourage you. But when you become smaller than what people are typically seeing then you seem "too small" to them and they'll say things like "ack you're tiny!" not b/c you're smaller than what's healthy for you but b/c you're now outside the "norm." I get remarks on occasion like "you're so small!" at a healthy size 6 only b/c frankly in our society it's just not seen much especially in someone middle aged like me. Just a fact of our society and sadly many others.

    ETA: not intended to hate on size 12/14s in any way...been there much of my life!!
  • woodwardtm
    woodwardtm Posts: 361 Member
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    I have heard the same thing lately and I certainly not too thin. I am 5'5" and 142 right now. I have good muscle tone from running and no way resemble a twig. I am not insulted by the comment but consider it a "you've done good" remark.
  • trianglesfocus
    trianglesfocus Posts: 16 Member
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    people have their own issues. dont listen to them. stay focused on you :-) xx
  • pkoll
    pkoll Posts: 135 Member
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    I'm ashamed to say I have personally said this to two different family members. It was out of concern. I think you are used to seeing them at their previous weight, and you really notice the difference. I also think you do hear this from jealous people because it makes them re-evaluate where they are in life. It is often annoying to receive people's unsolicited opinions!
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
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    You really do just have to ignore this. It was part of the reason I hid away while I was losing weight. Best thing you can do is never tell anyone you know what your goal weight is. If you say lower than their current weight or size they will often take offense to it (like she must think I am fat cause she wants to be skinnier). It ridiculous but girls are catty and that is just the way things are.
  • SJVZEE
    SJVZEE Posts: 451 Member
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    I had a somewhat humerous moment at church this morning- as everyone was walking out of the sanctuary after service I ran into a friend who I haven't seen this summer. She stopped in her tracks, did a double take and then in a loud voice exclaimed Holy BEEP you're so thin! I think half the congregation stopped and looked at her and then at me :embarassed: :laugh: She kept going on and on about how thin I was and asked how much I weighed now and what size I was wearing. When I told her, her jaw hit the ground lol. Immediaty she did the 'don't lose anymore' line, but after I told her I was in maintenance and what my bmi was, she started complimenting me and yes, she did say she was really envious. The whole conversation was a bit mortifying, but it also was great because another person who was behind us pulled me aside and asked what plan I did, so I was able to give them some info on alternate day iF :)
  • mommy3457
    mommy3457 Posts: 361 Member
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    People say this to me all the time and I can honestly say it has never been out of concern. I've decided on a few reasons why....

    1. This is their way of complementing you. They are actually really impressed with your weight loss and want you to know that you look fantastic just the way you are.

    2. You're a lot smaller/skinner than you think. At 5'7 and 155 pounds, I still could lose a few pounds. However, when I looked at a photo of myself the other day I was so tall and skinny, it startled me. So I could understand why telling someone I want to lose an additional 10 pounds would be like..."whyyyyy?"

    3. It's their way of acknowledging your weight loss. Believe it or not, talking about weight is very awkward for people. They want to give you praise for it, but sometimes just don't know how.

    4. I usually get this compliment when I tell people how much I lost. Which makes me believe they don't understand how much 1 pound of fat looks like. When I say 101 pounds, some people could imagine a 101 pound child. That's a lot of weight and I understand when people say "you don't need to lose anymore." It's hard to comprehend. lol

    I think you're reading too much into it. I usually smile and appreciate the fact that someone notices my hard work.

    well-said!
  • blackcloud13
    blackcloud13 Posts: 654 Member
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    I get this a lot ...

    I think most of the time people mean well when they say this. You get used to seeing a person at a certain size. One does look pretty different as one loses weight and it takes a while for others to get used to it.

    I've been guilty in the past of seeing people that had lost a lot of weight and thinking (but not saying!) they had gone too far.

    Having said that, feel free to ignore all the comments - head to your goal weight!

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