Getting Called Out In Public - "You Are Fat"

I have had this happen on several occasions - once when I had reached my goal weight (I've since gained my weight back and starting from scratch, but oh well). I also suffer from an auto-immune disease that makes my hair fall out - so the times I've been brave and gone out in public as a bald woman, you can just imagine the stares and comments!

It stings and it feels awful, but they get power from knowing they've hurt you. If they get nothing in response, they just feel unfulfilled - and being able to make a mean person feel worse is definitely worth your silence and not acknowledging them. Once they are out of sight/ear shot - go ahead and feel bad if you want, and cry...I have done that, and it's healthy to express your emotions. But with people like that, never let them see a reaction. You can smile and shake your head in pity, but that's about all I'd give them. Take comfort in the knowledge that you are not an awful person like them, and that while the hurt they inflict on you is temporary, they are stuck with whatever hell they are living and they are choosing it for themselves. In the end, you win.

once when I had reached my goal weight (I've since gained my weight back and starting from scratch, but oh well).

Yeah, me too. I lost 70 lb. in 6 months in 2005. I came up just shy of my max weight in the last few weeks. Starting over. South Beach Diet worked for me the first time, but due to several factors it's just not cutting it this time. I started MFP yesterday and in my mind I have the same enthusiasm for that as I did with SBD when it worked for me. So hopefully I'll be skinny again soon.

Oops! My last response was meant for gershia. I am still not good and posting in reply to someone else's post or quoting others. Must work on this.

I would say "Yup, but I used to be fatter. Did you used to be nicer?"

But then again, I'm not easily offended. Roll with it.

That would be a good comeback...although I always think of things like that to say after the fact...Once this guy said "get out of the way fatass" to me and I was so in shock that I didn't know what to say...

Or say, "I can lose weight, but you'll always be ugly"...I know that's kind of going down to her level, but I think that sometimes it is necessary.

Usually when someone insults me in public, I have found that looking them up and down and then busting out laughing, and shaking my head while walking away does wonders. It drives them nuts not knowing what you were laughing at and makes them self conscious :laugh: .

"And you're a c***."

Making up fantasy responses and replaying the moment over and over is pointless. Keep moving forward.

Any advice on how to overcome this public humiliation?

Thanks

Without skippin a beat just answer "That's right, I got me a little cushion for the pushin" then turn around and leave.

Nasty people like that don't deserve your dignity. You are a really beautiful woman, gorgeous rather, who happens to be plus sized but that's not all there is to you. Show them how much smarter and wittier than they are by smaking down their stupid remarks then walking away with pride while they look like an *kitten*.

Well some have asked....it wasn't a kid it was a grown woman in her 40-50's

Regardless, you are all correct. When I wrote this post...it just happened and instead of binging I turned to this thread.

I am glad I did.

I am over it now. I HAVE WON - WHY???? BECAUSE I AM FOCUSED AND DIDN'T TURN TO FOOD BINGING.

In the end..... I won

Thanks to each and every one of you who posted here and all my MFP friends. You are all the reason why MFP works.

Thank you,

The show must go on

Happy Calorie Tracking Day Everyone

You most certainly did win. Good on ya girl.

Usually when someone insults me in public, I have found that looking them up and down and then busting out laughing, and shaking my head while walking away does wonders. It drives them nuts not knowing what you were laughing at and makes them self conscious :laugh: .

Also nice!

Let it go.


Keep in mind you don't know what happened in that persons day.


In my experience, almost everybody has something about their body they are really insecure about.

Responding with like usually breeds an awful cycle. We bigger girls tend to make snarky comments to thinner girls without realizing we are doing the same thing they do to us. "Do you eat?" "I hate you for being skinny" "men like women with curves" "bones are for dogs" etc and so on, and we forget how hurtful that is. We as women are creating a cycle of insulting each other. The smaller insult the bigger and the bigger insult the smaller. Half the time we don't even realize we are doing it.

I asked the last girl who insulted my weight why she did it. No reaction, other than "why would you say such a thing." And she broke down and told me about how she gets insulted so many times by bigger girls that she now just immediately attacks them before they can attack her so she doesn't end up the one crying. And I've known bigger girls that do this to smaller girls. We ALL have our insecurities. Pointing out another's is unkind, but try to think before y judge her too harshly. Have you said something unkind about someone's appearance? Have you ever been guilty of bashing a smaller girl for being smaller? If we are being honest, most of us have. I know, I have been guilty of stick comments. Those are just as hurtful. The more we do this to each other, the more the cycle will go on.


So try not to let it bother you when someone does this, you never know where they are coming from or what hurt made them like that. People rarely lash out at others because they are extremely happy with themselves. If we treat these kinds of comments with kindness, and caring, instead of hurt, insecurity, and or retaliation, maybe we can stop the cycle of shaming each other for our bodies. And if it absolutely cannot be met with kindness, at the very least, just ignore it.

I would fart in her general direction.

I almost fell out of my chair laughing.

I take the sarcastic route. A little boy told me I was fat. I just said thank you, I had no idea. His mom just laughed. Another time, I said, to a guy that said geez, you're big. 'I know!! It was much worse, though. Can you imagine?!?!" Then I just walk away shaking my head. Hasn't happened to me in a long time. But I see people's eyes drop to my body as I walk past them.

I would fart in her general direction.

YES!!!!!!!