I don't even know where I'm going wrong - please help : (

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  • lilacinfinity
    lilacinfinity Posts: 283 Member
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    You came here asking for free help, people offered it, generously, and all you're doing is being snarky, rude and belligerent in return.

    I'm outta here...best of luck to ya...

    Where am I being snarky and rude?

    Everyone telling me I'm wasting their time because I don't log everything so am not worthy of help. So I apologised.
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
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    You came here asking for free help, people offered it, generously, and all you're doing is being snarky, rude and belligerent in return.

    I'm outta here...best of luck to ya...

    Where am I being snarky and rude?

    Everyone telling me I'm wasting their time because I don't log everything so am not worthy of help. So I apologised.

    And yet here we all are giving you advice.

    Take it or leave it. We've told you what you're doing wrong. It's up to you to fix it.
  • _liftnlove
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    I've tried twice to be helpful--you OBVIOUSLY don't want help...I'm outta here with the rest. Better things to do than try to help someone who doesn't want help....think I'll go watch the grass grow...
  • KarenisPaleo
    KarenisPaleo Posts: 169 Member
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    No thanks. Too many people who actually want help.

    there's no need to be cruel.
    I do want help.
    Hey, maybe I didn't realise that noting every crumb was so integral to the whole thing. Clearly it is, and as I've said, i'll take it on board and try my best and come back.
    Sorry to have wasted your time.



    Who is being cruel?? You have THREE pages of people's attention, and the excuses keep coming.

    Good Luck Yikes.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    IMO the first step is a commitment to diligent logging. It doesn't take more than a few minutes a day, it's not a meaningful time commitment - but it is a mental commitment.

    Until that happens, everything else is just plain guesswork.


    Yes. For this to work, you have to accurately and consistently track your calories. No guesstimating, etc. If you are truly at a deficit, you should be losing weight. Either you are overestimating your calorie burn, or you are underestimating your intake, or maybe a little bit of both.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    No thanks. Too many people who actually want help.

    there's no need to be cruel.
    I do want help.
    Hey, maybe I didn't realise that noting every crumb was so integral to the whole thing. Clearly it is, and as I've said, i'll take it on board and try my best and come back.
    Sorry to have wasted your time.


    Then if you are serious and want help, start logging. You may not have to do it forever, but until you start weighing and logging everything you truly have no idea what you're eating. Everyone here is telling you pretty much the same thing and it's because we've been there. There were periods where I'm pretty sure I was eating 4000 + calories a day, and yet thinking I was getting half that. It's shocking the first few weeks when you realize how small basic servings really are, and it is awfully easy to forget the little "extras" when you don't log them.

    Get serious. Do it for you. Pick a TDEE calculator, plug in what you think is right, try a 500 calorie a day deficit, and weigh and log everything. Then after a month or two see where you are. Do you need to adjust it up or down from there? Then ask for help, if you need it, armed with the information necessary for people to be able to intelligently give you advice.
  • lilacinfinity
    lilacinfinity Posts: 283 Member
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    the link I provided in my previous post should help you find your TDEE...then you should eat 15%-20% below that to lose weight.

    If that's not working, you need to see a doctor, because something is wrong...eating below TDEE should result in weight loss...if not, see a doctor.

    Hey I've had the calc in a tab while I was trying to keep up with the posts.

    This, like others using those activity factors leaves me stumped. There's no allowance for anything other than a desk job? What if you do many hours of light exercise a week? Or just a couple of strenuous exercise?
    I really don't know what to pick.

    And I'm not being snarky. I don't know which one.
    I'm moving around, lightly, at work for 6+ hours a day, and do a little exercise at home (2-3 hours a week nothing strenuous).
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
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    I agree..scrupulous logging is the most helpful tool. MAKE the time. I would also revisit your original statistics, though. Your calorie goal seems very high for someone who seems to be at most moderately active. My fitbit tells me at least that many steps a day, plus more often, but my calorie set is quite a bit lower than yours and I do do intentional exercise several times a week too. I think you should be at between 1500 and 1800 at the most. (I am grateful you're not trying to be one of those 1200 calorie and I'm stuffed people......)
    Don't make excuses about logging....it really is the best tool to make this process work for you. A tool is only good if you use it, though.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    maybe I didn't realise that noting every crumb was so integral to the whole thing.

    Your body digests every crumb, so why would you go on as though some foods you eat don't count? Everything you consume counts, and if you want to calculate a reasonable defecit, you need to count all the calories you eat. Ignorance of the calories doesn't make them vanish.

    In the title you say you don't know where you are going wrong.

    Three pages of people all said, well, consistent logging is KEY.

    Now you're mad?! How is that a reasonable response to getting the correct answer for the question you asked?
  • DWCPHC
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    I measure and weigh about the same as you and have been many years in the process of trying to lose weight permanently. I went into My Goals under My Home and was brutally honest about what I wanted and what I needed. They set up a much lower calorie limit than you have, and only through exercising have I been able to lose what I have, still a long way to go. My work is more sedentary than yours but we do walk quite a bit. I have a video by Leslie Sansone called Walk at Home which has helped immensely--3 miles in 45 minutes which often makes up for when I have eaten too many calories. I hope you can get someone nearby as a support person, and wish you the best.
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
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    My logging was better a month or two back for sure, but I only gained then, too.

    When? For all of July and August I see logging that is spotty and inconsistent at best. A few days on, a few days off.
    But I'm telling you, I've done MONTHS of logging before to the point where I closed my account because I was weighing every bloody thing obsessively. And nothing. Just up, up, up no matter what goal I tried.

    What time period was this? I'd like to look at those logs. Perhaps they will reveal something useful.

    Bottom line is you're full of excuses for why your total lack of consistent logging is not the problem. It is the problem.

    I didn't say it was perfect, that it was better. Sometimes i don't have time to get on the computer. If that makes me a horrible person then so be it.

    Maybe it is part of the problem, maybe its not. I don't know so I'm not making excuses either way. All I can say is that I had the same situation when i was logging diligently, and I came to enquire about TDEE more than anything.




    Sorry to have wasted everyone's time

    Frankly I see no evidence that you ever logged diligently for any length of time.
  • lilacinfinity
    lilacinfinity Posts: 283 Member
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    No thanks. Too many people who actually want help.

    there's no need to be cruel.
    I do want help.
    Hey, maybe I didn't realise that noting every crumb was so integral to the whole thing. Clearly it is, and as I've said, i'll take it on board and try my best and come back.
    Sorry to have wasted your time.


    Then if you are serious and want help, start logging. You may not have to do it forever, but until you start weighing and logging everything you truly have no idea what you're eating. Everyone here is telling you pretty much the same thing and it's because we've been there. There were periods where I'm pretty sure I was eating 4000 + calories a day, and yet thinking I was getting half that. It's shocking the first few weeks when you realize how small basic servings really are, and it is awfully easy to forget the little "extras" when you don't log them.

    Get serious. Do it for you. Pick a TDEE calculator, plug in what you think is right, try a 500 calorie a day deficit, and weigh and log everything. Then after a month or two see where you are. Do you need to adjust it up or down from there? Then ask for help, if you need it, armed with the information necessary for people to be able to intelligently give you advice.

    Thanks
    And I've said I'll give it a gowith the logging before asking for more.
    But we're back at picking a TDEE again and I really don't know where to start.
  • elsdonward
    elsdonward Posts: 81 Member
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    I will try. I have so much weight to lose and I am quite old so it is very slow. When I was in my twenties I was able to consistently lose 1 POUND a day but that was by rigidly counting my calories.

    I do not know what your recommended calorie intake is - but log into any programme and determine your BMI and you will find the real figure which I am estimating is around 1400 per day.

    You have to have some firm rules - not high calorie rich foods - plenty of starchy foods like potatoes and rice - no gravies no oils no fry ups no sugary pastries nothing that will endanger your 1400 level. There is lots of choice out there - roast parsnips, jelly and blancmange, broad beans, lovely veg - fish loads of stuff. You just have to get on and log the food for yourself. This is not a joke it is serious. Do not miss a day but go back and retro it or syonara. And don't forget the fruit. Don't eat any more rubbish. And do not eat huge meals.

    Give yourself a real chance on this. A new life is waiting for you. When I was 21 I had a bad marriage to get over and I was 17 stones in weight. I went down to 11 stone 7 lbs and never looked back I was too busy living it up. There were no computers then - just a little notebook - but I just refused to eat over and got used to it in the end

    If you log all of your walking then (in minutes) you will start to lose - but it must be each and every day that you do this otherwise you are just making a nightmare for yourself. This will show you where you are going wrong - and right now you are because you are not serious enough about it.

    Elsdon

    Why dont you try it this way then let us know how you are getting on with it
  • lilacinfinity
    lilacinfinity Posts: 283 Member
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    I've tried twice to be helpful--you OBVIOUSLY don't want help...I'm outta here with the rest. Better things to do than try to help someone who doesn't want help....think I'll go watch the grass grow...

    I did reply to you, it just took me a while to work through all the messages :(
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Options
    No thanks. Too many people who actually want help.

    there's no need to be cruel.
    I do want help.
    Hey, maybe I didn't realise that noting every crumb was so integral to the whole thing. Clearly it is, and as I've said, i'll take it on board and try my best and come back.
    Sorry to have wasted your time.


    Then if you are serious and want help, start logging. You may not have to do it forever, but until you start weighing and logging everything you truly have no idea what you're eating. Everyone here is telling you pretty much the same thing and it's because we've been there. There were periods where I'm pretty sure I was eating 4000 + calories a day, and yet thinking I was getting half that. It's shocking the first few weeks when you realize how small basic servings really are, and it is awfully easy to forget the little "extras" when you don't log them.

    Get serious. Do it for you. Pick a TDEE calculator, plug in what you think is right, try a 500 calorie a day deficit, and weigh and log everything. Then after a month or two see where you are. Do you need to adjust it up or down from there? Then ask for help, if you need it, armed with the information necessary for people to be able to intelligently give you advice.

    Thanks
    And I've said I'll give it a gowith the logging before asking for more.
    But we're back at picking a TDEE again and I really don't know where to start.

    Skip MFP's NEAT method (which is a royal PIA, IMHO because then you have to throw exercise calories into the mix and make it more difficult), and try this one: http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

    And for an excellent overview of this whole thing, read this: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819055-setting-your-calorie-and-macro-targets
  • lilacinfinity
    lilacinfinity Posts: 283 Member
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    Frankly I see no evidence that you ever logged diligently for any length of time.

    I've had other accounts, but they're closed now.
    I guess that sound unbeleivable but I really did.
  • lilacinfinity
    lilacinfinity Posts: 283 Member
    Options


    Skip MFP's NEAT method (which is a royal PIA, IMHO because then you have to throw exercise calories into the mix and make it more difficult), and try this one: http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

    And for an excellent overview of this whole thing, read this: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819055-setting-your-calorie-and-macro-targets

    Yup someone else has given me that and I asked her to help but I took too long so she's gotten angry and gone...
    So...
    I get stuck when having to choose the activity factor... I don't do much "exercise" but nor do I have a desk job. I don't do 7-21 hours of strenuous exercise, but more than 1-3 hours of light movement
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
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    Frankly I see no evidence that you ever logged diligently for any length of time.

    I've had other accounts, but they're closed now.
    I guess that sound unbeleivable but I really did.

    Unfortunate. We could have perhaps given more info.

    You use a Fitbit? Go to the dashboard (not the new beta) and click on Month. How many calories have you burned the last 30 days?
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Options


    Skip MFP's NEAT method (which is a royal PIA, IMHO because then you have to throw exercise calories into the mix and make it more difficult), and try this one: http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

    And for an excellent overview of this whole thing, read this: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819055-setting-your-calorie-and-macro-targets

    Yup someone else has given me that and I asked her to help but I took too long so she's gotten angry and gone...
    So...
    I get stuck when having to choose the activity factor... I don't do much "exercise" but nor do I have a desk job. I don't do 7-21 hours of strenuous exercise, but more than 1-3 hours of light movement

    When selecting an activity level, I tend to be more conservative. You can always switch activity levels if it doesn't work out. Clearly, whatever you've got it set to now isn't working. Try bringing it down a notch and see if that works...
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
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    This is the TDEE calculator I use >>http://www.fat2fitradio.com/tools/bmr/

    Custom BMR Calculation

    Thanks for checking your BMR here on Fat 2 Fit Radio. If you're not already subscribed to Fat 2 Fit Radio, consider doing so today. Please visit the Subscribe page to get the podcast delivered automatically to your iTunes, Juice, e-mail inbox or the podcatcher of your choice for FREE.

    Entered information: 30 year old female, 64 inches tall, weighing 190 pounds, BMI of 32.6 (Obese).

    From the information that you entered, you'd like to weigh 190 lbs.

    Harris-Benedict Formula

    There are a few different methods to calculating yourbasal metabolic rate (BMR). One of the most popular, developed in the early 1900's is called the Harris-Benedict formula. Based on this formula, your current BMR is 1641 calories.

    How Many Calories Should I Eat?

    Based on your goal weight, the following chart was generated. The chart shows the number of calories that you should eat on a daily basis to reach your goal weight. At Fat 2 Fit Radio we advocate eating like the thin, healthy person that you want to become. The calorie levels you see in the chart are not extreme, but they do create that all important caloric deficit that is required to get you to your goal weight in a safe manner. Once you reach your goal weight, you will continue eating the same number of calories for the rest of your life to maintain that weight. You'll never be on a diet again.

    Based on how much activity you do on an average day, the calories in the right column will be the number of calories that you will be able to eat at your goal weight. If you start eating those calories right now (eating like the thinner you), you will eventually become that thinner person. As you get closer to your goal weight, your weight loss will start to slow down. It is OK to eat a few hundred calories less per day (200-300) to speed up your weight loss at this point.
    Activity Level Daily Calories
    Sedentary (little or no exercise, desk job) 1969
    Lightly Active (light exercise/sports 1-3 days/wk) 2256

    Moderately Active (moderate exercise/sports 3-5 days/wk) 2544
    Very Active (hard exercise/sports 6-7 days/wk) 2831
    Extremely Active (hard daily exercise/sports & physical job or 2X day training, i.e marathon, contest etc.) 3118

    NOTE: Please remember that this calculation is just a guideline. Your metabolism may be higher or lower based on the amount of lean muscle you have. Use these numbers a a starting point and tweak them up or down based on your weight loss or gain. It may take a couple weeks to get your exact calorie level.

    SEDENTARY TDEE >>1969 - 20%(393) = 1575
    LIGHTLY ACTIVE >> 2256 - 20%(451) = 1805


    IMHO, you are sedentary, even though you claim to be lifting and carrying stuff (BTW, what? how heavy? Do you equate your activity to sport? or exercise?). But either way, at 2100 calories/day (if that is accurate) , you are eating too much to lose weight.