Things People Say When You've Lost Weight

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Replies

  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
    Yeah just recently I discovered both my parents (who don't talk to each other) thought I wasn't eating. My dad came to visit and kept making dinner and telling me to eat and eat, my boyfriend had to assure him that I do. And my mom told my sister she hoped I was eating cuz I'm "so skinny." I'm really not skinny that would be cause for concern; So I'm saying bottom line is, people are used to seeing you one way and react to the change in their own way which is sometimes insensitive. I just take it as a positive that what you're doing is working!
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    What's sad is that I think some people really do think I AM skinny. My BMI is healthy but at 24.1, it's at the top of the healthy range.

    I think it's that overweight people are so common that it starts to look normal and a healthy weight looks skinny.
  • RobinME
    RobinME Posts: 25 Member
    That is the truth right there!
  • runnermama81
    runnermama81 Posts: 388 Member
    People just should not make comments about weight. At all. When I see someone who looks like they have lost weight I may tell them they look great or I love their outfit on them,etc, but I think weight related comments are just rude. Although maybe its because I grew up on a household where everyone commented on each other's weight constantly. Ugh. Not doing that to my kids.
    Anyway, my point is, loss or gain...dont comment. Maybe they are sick and dont mean to be losing, maybe they are pregnant and have gained a few but dont want to make it public yet. You just never know.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    People just should not make comments about weight. At all. When I see someone who looks like they have lost weight I may tell them they look great or I love their outfit on them,etc, but I think weight related comments are just rude. Although maybe its because I grew up on a household where everyone commented on each other's weight constantly. Ugh. Not doing that to my kids.
    Anyway, my point is, loss or gain...dont comment. Maybe they are sick and dont mean to be losing, maybe they are pregnant and have gained a few but dont want to make it public yet. You just never know.

    I mostly agree, except that people who are working hard to lose weight and get in shape usually like to get positive reinforcement, even if they complain about it in threads like this. That's why I start with "you look great" and let the other person mention losing weight, or being pregnant, or not.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    What I hear all the time is "You can't eat that stuff!"

    That's just like my friends and family. If I'm on a diet, it's an excuse to poach off my plate.
  • 1longroad
    1longroad Posts: 642 Member
    Had a new one the other night at work. "Did you have one of the weight loss surgeries and not tell us?" Sheesh!!!
  • runnermama81
    runnermama81 Posts: 388 Member
    People just should not make comments about weight. At all. When I see someone who looks like they have lost weight I may tell them they look great or I love their outfit on them,etc, but I think weight related comments are just rude. Although maybe its because I grew up on a household where everyone commented on each other's weight constantly. Ugh. Not doing that to my kids.
    Anyway, my point is, loss or gain...dont comment. Maybe they are sick and dont mean to be losing, maybe they are pregnant and have gained a few but dont want to make it public yet. You just never know.

    I mostly agree, except that people who are working hard to lose weight and get in shape usually like to get positive reinforcement, even if they complain about it in threads like this. That's why I start with "you look great" and let the other person mention losing weight, or being pregnant, or not.

    Totally agree. If they bring it up its a different story.
  • nixverstehen
    nixverstehen Posts: 11 Member
    There are a lot of comments on this topic.
    BUT I wanted to add my 2 cents.

    I got the same sort of comments. I had a coworker ask if the weight loss was on purpose. She was relieved because I started shaving my head about the same time. She thought I might have cancer. No, I worked hard at eating right and losing weight. Admittedly I was a little underweight.

    Is it OK to talk about weight? It apparently is when someone is losing weight or that person is skinny. If I were to talk about their weight and maybe they should not eat so much, maybe think about going for walks, I would be the rude one. I've had many heavy people tell me I don't need to lose weight, even when I was about 30lbs over At first it is a complement. When they keep going on about it, I want to mention something about their weight and see what they think. I don't because it would be rude. That's not me.

    All in all - We should just take it as a complement and say thank you. It changes the tone of the conversation when someone says, "Why are you trying to lose weight? If you're trying to lose, then what do I need to do?"
    Reply, "Why thanks I appreciate that. I'm glad you noticed. I've worked really hard to get here."
  • MichelleB69
    MichelleB69 Posts: 213 Member
    I think it's that overweight people are so common that it starts to look normal and a healthy weight looks skinny.

    ^^THIS. I sooooo agree with this; esp in the US. As a nation, the average American is at least 10 lbs overweight, most are more. Anytime you start appearing "different" from the herd, they start talking...some mean well, some don't. Some are jealous, some are genuinely worried. Some wonder what YOUR journey says about THEM!

    I take any and all comments about my weight loss as a compliment, because I KNOW how hard I've worked (and continue to work) to turn my life around. I KNOW it's more than a weight loss thing, it's a life changing thing. And when you are comfortable and happy in your own life and skin, those comments that people make that used to annoy you, won't anymore. And you have to know that what comes out of their mouth, has much more to do with them and their perceptions, than you. :flowerforyou:
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
    Yep. But I have learned to smile or nod to acknowledge that I have heard them, but I don't respond.

    One of my best friends had a hard time with my weight loss in the beginning and often made similar comments. I think secretly she was afraid that I would no longer be that fun friend who liked to try new restaurants with her, or indulge in the occasional Crumbs cupcake. But, I am still that girl. I have just learned to do both of those things with balance. I think the turning point was when I finally explained the euphoric feeling I was getting every time I tried on clothes. Whatever phrasing I used, she was able to relate it to things she found pleasure in in her life.

    Do you. Keep finding joy in reaching your own personal goals. The happiness you exude will draw people to you. :flowerforyou:
  • divainsneakers
    divainsneakers Posts: 397 Member
    ""Even one of my very best friends (who I discuss diet, exercise, etc. with all the time) told me that I needed to stop because I'm getting "too skinny". I still weigh 10lbs more than she does and we are the same height, so however that works! And she's still complaining that she needs to lose 5-10lbs. But I know she doesn't mean anything bad by it - I know we both tend to be self critical - so while it's easy to think the worst - that they are out to sabotage you, in reality I know I tend to think my friends look amazing and can't see the 5 or 10lbs they think they need to lose, but I can see it on myself. Even when we are basically the same size and that makes no sense.... """


    **Glad you can see this in such a positive light. When I've lost weight it caused a tremendous amount of jealousy among friends. I guess they weren't real friends! All they knew was I wasn't the fat friend holding coats and purses anymore and that was too much change and quite intimidating for them.
  • greyhoundphile
    greyhoundphile Posts: 35 Member
    I've now had 3 separate co-workers come into my office privately and ask, "what's your secret?" and expect some easy solution. I say "I count calories and exercise" and they all walked out disgruntled. But I still prefer that to the "you're wasting away?" weirdo compliment. The best ones are people who just say "you look great." :)
  • Laststand2011
    Laststand2011 Posts: 42 Member
    How about.. "Oh, that's just a drop in the bucket for you isn't it?"
  • rosellasweet
    rosellasweet Posts: 163 Member
    I always get, Are you sick? or Are you trying? If I lost 30 pounds because I was sick or not trying, then I would go see a doctor STAT. Is it so hard to believe that someone who is fat would not want to be fat anymore?
  • ClementineGeorg
    ClementineGeorg Posts: 505 Member
    I lose at a small rate so the thing that irritates me is that when people `congratulate` me on my loss, they also add I could have done it faster; or that they know someone who lost the same weight in half the time; or that I surely eat a lot for a person on diet.
  • AliciaStaton
    AliciaStaton Posts: 328 Member
    Hi total agree with the comments on here. I have still got 3 stones to lose and I get people saying stuff like oh be careful you make yourself ill, or why do you need to lose weight you look fine.:huh: I am classed as oveweight, obese whatever you want to call it. This is about you and your health. Also get asked what is your secret, usually smile and say there is no secret its called hard work and a change of eating habits. Well done you for losing your weight so far:smile:
  • A_Warrior_Princess
    A_Warrior_Princess Posts: 344 Member
    WHAT PILL DID YOU TAKE?

    The reply to this is simple! "The pill called getoffmylazyassandworkforit!" :D

    The best response ever!!!!
  • KirstyB1978
    KirstyB1978 Posts: 19
    I get mostly positive comments from my colleagues and friends x I am still fat and far from a healthy weight but I am proud of how far I have come x
  • tomich54
    tomich54 Posts: 99 Member
    At first I din't know how to take the attention and all the questions! But to be perfectly honest - I take it all in stride! For the last 14 years the only compliment I would ever recieve was "Oh, you have such a pretty face" Ok - we all now that means aka - you would be pretty if you lost weight. Every time I heard that it felt like I died a little inside! :sad:

    So when people ask "what my secret is", "did you have surgery", "when will you stop", "your half the size you were", I take it in stride! I don't care what anyone else thinks! I'm doing this for me! I enjoy being able to smile for no reason :bigsmile: I even get a bigger smile when I realize my thighs don't rub together, I can control myself, I can lift/ leg press more than I weigh! I've dealt w/ jealous people that will no longer speak to me because I'm smaller than them now. My thoughts are this - if you can't accept me for who I am - I have no place for you, or your negativity! Haters gonna hate! :blushing:
  • Charliejl82
    Charliejl82 Posts: 57
    You can't win with people. I've never been overweight - just a bit out of shape. But recently I've upped the weights and focussed on my nutrition so I look pretty good. However I constantly get comments at work etc from people "you're not eating cake? Why not your thin you can eat what you like?" Urrrr NO it's because I don't eat cake and watch every mouthful of food that I'm not overweight. Ultimately people are lazy and are just waiting for a magic remedy to stay slim rather than work hard for it.
  • lucystacy71
    lucystacy71 Posts: 290 Member
    My dad said something amusing to me the other day. He said, "You've really lost some weight. So have I! We probably weigh about the same now."

    Did I mention that not only has Dad not lost any weight, he weighs close to 300lbs and I'm tiptoeing my way to onderland? I know he said it only to make himself feel better, but it still amuses me. Last Christmas, he bought me a couple of shirts and each one was his size - men's 3x when I was only wearing a woman's 1x. I don't let things like that bother me anymore.

    My mom said something a lot nicer. She told me that my butt was finally shrinking.
  • thinfitfabulous
    thinfitfabulous Posts: 84 Member
    "I don't want you to have an eating disorder."

    Thanks, me too, but saying no thank you to numerous cupcake offers isn't disordered eating- it's healthy eating!:bigsmile:
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    "I don't want you to have an eating disorder."

    Thanks, me too, but saying no thank you to numerous cupcake offers isn't disordered eating- it's healthy eating!:bigsmile:

    It is amazing how turning down a cupcake is tragic to those enjoying the cupcakes.. Seriously, I think eating whatever you are offered is the worse disorder I ever had. Glad I am past that.
  • LionessWhispers
    LionessWhispers Posts: 69 Member
    Saving for reminders later - love all of these!
  • bridgew24
    bridgew24 Posts: 143 Member
    I get "you need fattening up!" from my boyfriends family whenever I'm over for dinner and refuse seconds. I love his family but arghhhh don't pressure me into eating food I don't want!
  • ashandstuff
    ashandstuff Posts: 442 Member
    “You look so beautiful now!” from literally…everyone.
    That seems like a great thing to hear a couple times but when it’s all at once, it’s like….ok so I am only beautiful when I am thinner? I didn’t dislike the way I looked when I was heavier, I just knew it wasn’t healthy.

    So, I was taken aback when I “suddenly” got “beautiful”

    No, I’ve always been beautiful. You’re just a jerk.
  • nicolesab1978
    nicolesab1978 Posts: 1
    Yes, it's driving me crazy at work at the moment. I hate people saying I can't get over how much weight you've lost, you look good. You must feel so much better now. Have you been sick etc etc. I think it's hurtful to imply that before I didn't look or feel good.
    I don't mind if people just say you've lost weight or you look good. I also can't stand how they say it loudly in front of groups of people. It's making me want to stay away from groups in case I need to explain myself to a room full of people.
  • TinGirl314
    TinGirl314 Posts: 430 Member
    I hate 'Looks like your surgery went well.'
    Now I have nothing against the bypass surgeries...my mother had one. My mother also went through some intense pain for the surgery, and then again for her tummy tuck. I hope she is happy now...but seeing what those surgeries did...cuttin people in half and stretching their skin...I decided no surgery for me.

    No one believes it's diet and movement, no one.
    Which makes me kinda sad.
  • karolinacorrea
    karolinacorrea Posts: 22 Member
    I've been on the other end sometimes. I remember having said "you look just fine" at least 2 times to different people, when in reality I think that they still have some way to go . It does not come from jealousy, I guess I do it because saying "you are doing great but you still have to lose more" will be really mean.

    I'll be more careful in the future.

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