Why water is making you fat

13

Replies

  • Lemongrab1
    Lemongrab1 Posts: 158 Member
    I can confirm this is 300% fact.
    I worked out 6 days a week, ate 'healthily' and drank my recommend 8 glasses of water. Nothing changed! I remained obese. I was at the depths of despair, yet adequately hydrated.
    Slowly slowly...I took to the marijuanas. Snorting, shooting, smoking, I even boiled it in spaghetti.
    I was high and never thirsty ALL. THE. TIME.
    I decided I didn't want to live any more. What was the point? Everything I saw was purple (because drugs) and most of what I saw were stomach rolls. I decided I was going to dehydrate myself into extinction.
    On the third day of my extended suicide attempt, I was THIN! Not just "Ooo, I'm skinnier!", I'm talking a 60LBS WEIGHT LOSS!
    When people say "It's just water weight", remember that 'water weight' is fat because water is FAT!
    It's thank to scientists like Mutant that I can now prance around in string bikinis and have sex with vain men with testicular abs.
    :flowerforyou:
  • sdreed25
    sdreed25 Posts: 208 Member
    I drink about 4 litres a day! God damn that's why I'm so fat (and not the 5,000 cupcakes). From tomorrow I'm switching to Coke and Vodka all day long, I'll be thin in no time
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    and at your age,, you know this?
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    its true about the coke and vodka tho
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    WAKE UP, SHEEPLE

    Because XKCD
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    I seriously need help, i have just drunk half a liter of water again...
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    I seriously need help, i have just drunk half a liter of water again...
    [/quote
    You are beyond help


    I dub thee a WATER JUNKIE. Get out of here water junkie
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    I can confirm this is 300% fact.
    I worked out 6 days a week, ate 'healthily' and drank my recommend 8 glasses of water. Nothing changed! I remained obese. I was at the depths of despair, yet adequately hydrated.
    Slowly slowly...I took to the marijuanas. Snorting, shooting, smoking, I even boiled it in spaghetti.
    I was high and never thirsty ALL. THE. TIME.
    I decided I didn't want to live any more. What was the point? Everything I saw was purple (because drugs) and most of what I saw were stomach rolls. I decided I was going to dehydrate myself into extinction.
    On the third day of my extended suicide attempt, I was THIN! Not just "Ooo, I'm skinnier!", I'm talking a 60LBS WEIGHT LOSS!
    When people say "It's just water weight", remember that 'water weight' is fat because water is FAT!
    It's thank to scientists like Mutant that I can now prance around in string bikinis and have sex with vain men with testicular abs.
    :flowerforyou:

    The facts are there plebeians. Come look beyond the veil.
  • bantamspaul
    bantamspaul Posts: 77 Member
    It's no wonder water is evil - most of it is here on earth near the devil in hell not up in the sky near God. Repent you sinners.

    Inciidentally, is Holy Water any better for you?
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    It's no wonder water is evil - most of it is here on earth near the devil in hell not up in the sky near God. Repent you sinners.

    Inciidentally, is Holy Water any better for you?

    Only holy water that has been blessed by a naturopath
  • bantamspaul
    bantamspaul Posts: 77 Member
    Wow - you know everything!
  • CherylP67
    CherylP67 Posts: 772 Member
    I'm going to start drinking helium, if my insides are like that of a balloon.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    I'm going to start drinking helium, if my insides are like that of a balloon.

    You would be interested in my new book 'Helium Makes You Lighter-The Tapeworm Diet.'
  • tinz75
    tinz75 Posts: 912 Member
    I think my company are pumping artificial Air Fats into the air conditioning system.
  • missdibs1
    missdibs1 Posts: 1,092 Member
    OMG Over exposure to OXygen again!


    We are all doomed
  • OccupiedBanana
    OccupiedBanana Posts: 6 Member
    Don't be so foolish. The government wants you to become addicted to water.

    This is funnier than Kayne West's tweets insulting Jimmy Kimmel.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    OMG!

    Yesterday I had water, white potatoes AND corn.

    It's all over for me. Save yourselves!
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
    41786_363593427585_4978751_n.jpg
  • KeViN_v2pt0
    KeViN_v2pt0 Posts: 375 Member
    DRINK MOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    funny-aquarium-exploded-water-woman-animated-gif-pics.gif
  • Camera_BagintheUK
    Camera_BagintheUK Posts: 707 Member
    Well I'm not giving up my cuppa tea. I'm just not. I'll take the risk.

    Anyway, water in the UK is different since it falls from the sky - incessantly. We don't drink it, we absorb it through our skin which creates immunity. Also we're surrounded on all sides by it. Water holds no fears for us. In fact it keeps us safe!
  • kgerm317
    kgerm317 Posts: 191 Member
    Please tell me vodka is a-okay! Or is it unsafe because it is also clear and wet? Oh my god, how far down does the rabbit hole go?!


    Vodka is extremely beneficial. Alcohol is very strong and the calories can't swim in it so they die.

    My life has improved drastically since reading this!! I have found HAPPINESS!!!!
  • CassandraBurgos83
    CassandraBurgos83 Posts: 544 Member
    I drink queso...from my favorite Mexicano spot and I'm fit as a fiddle ;) Ohhh and Dark chocolate has giving me that itty bitty waist and big ole booty and completely erased all cellulite! Wuh whut!
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Does coffee have the same effects as water?

    In for all the sciency stuff!
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    Please tell me vodka is a-okay! Or is it unsafe because it is also clear and wet? Oh my god, how far down does the rabbit hole go?!


    Vodka is extremely beneficial. Alcohol is very strong and the calories can't swim in it so they die.

    That's some solid sciencing right there. Finally a study I can get behind!
  • PaleoChocolateBear
    PaleoChocolateBear Posts: 2,844 Member
    I don't have a problem I can quit water whenever
  • bubaluboo
    bubaluboo Posts: 2,098 Member
    Does coffee have the same effects as water?

    In for all the sciency stuff!

    You'll be fine with coffee as long as it's not decaffeinated...the stronger the better. As we all know, caffeine holds on to those water molecules tightly so they can't split to make air fat. That's why so many superb over the counter weightloss supplements are high in caffeine...it works!
  • goalss4nika
    goalss4nika Posts: 529 Member
    I have literally never heard this before.


    me neither
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    I have literally never heard this before.


    me neither

    Then you should be glad I am here to drop these phat science beats
  • PaleoChocolateBear
    PaleoChocolateBear Posts: 2,844 Member
    I have literally never heard this before.


    me neither

    Then you should be glad I am here to drop these phat science beats

    Let the beat drop
  • Red_Dwarf74
    Red_Dwarf74 Posts: 38 Member
    I've lost 94lb's and increased my water Intake drastically so should I stop drinking water and become dehydrated and die? No I didn't think so either.

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