tell me

What's the hardest thing to do in the world?.........


Milk chocolate digestives

I guess I'm too slow . . . please explain this one?

I dont get it either

Oh i get it now. Milk like as in to milk a cow. Lol.

What's the hardest thing to do in the world?.........


Milk chocolate digestives

I guess I'm too slow . . . please explain this one?

I dont get it either

Oh i get it now. Milk like as in to milk a cow. Lol.

I figured that much out, I still don't get it.

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on
scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If
I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump
off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "
Burritos again! If I get burritos! one more time I'm going to jump off,
too."

The blond e opened his lunch an d said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna
sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw

corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as
well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd known how
really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it
to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or
enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."


Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife The blonde's wife said,

"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch"

Why are men like Mondays?




They always come too quickly.

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies, "That would be my wife."

A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."

The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"

On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, "Yeah, my wife!"

For the science geeks out there:

Two men walk into a bar. The first says to the barkeep, "I'll have an H2O." The second man says "I'll have H2O too."
































The second man died.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?









Right where you left him.

An old married couple were lying in bed one night. The wife is trying to go to sleep and the old man is feeling frisky, but she just ignores him. The next night, the wife is a little excited but the husband is already asleep. The third night the two talk about not being on the same page about sex. They decide to work out a system. The wife says to the husband....."When I am wanting a little action, I will reach over and give your privates a tug to let you know I am interested." The husband says "Ok.....but when you are not in the mood, be sure to tug on it about 30 times so I don't get the wrong message."

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.

Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, Did you?"

Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"