Boyfriend always too skinny and doesn't try to gain weight
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If he is happy with his body, then that's all that should matter. If you don't like him the way he is, break up and find someone else.
Why try to change someone? Especially when there is really nothing wrong.0 -
Warning: tough love ahead.
This has nothing to do with him being a man. It has to be HIS choice to change his lifestyle, not yours.
If you can't handle him being skinnier than you (your issue, not his) then you need to have that conversation honestly with him. When all is said and done you either love him for who he is - or you don't. The rest is just petty detail.
I would have to agree with this. All of it.0 -
In...early...because this thread is destined to go places.
ETA: For full effect, re-read OP but read it as if it were written by a man about his girlfriend.0 -
Maybe he likes to wear your dresses when you're not around0
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If you prefer athletic, fit men, and your boyfriend doesn't want to become one, then find someone else. You also have your own health issues you need to overcome.0
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If you really love and care about him, then try and sit him down and express how you feel. If he truly cares about you, he will listen. He has to want the change though, no matter how you or anyone else may want that change, he is the only one that can make it happen. I had this same talk with my fiance to walk with me more, cut down on the soda/pop..and try some of my healthy cooking habits on times that I do so and it helped. So keep that in mind. See if he can make small changes..don't try and overwhelm him because that can make it worse, I think. Good luck!
It's not about "healthy" eating. The OP doesn't like how her boyfriend looks. She wants a buff dude. For all we know, he likes being slender.
Sorry. Maybe I should think before posting advice. Still though, I can understand what everyone is saying on here. I can still say at least express the OP's concerns, just don't expect him to change if he doesn't want it and if she truly cares, accept him as he is or give him the chance to find someone who will. I get that at least.0 -
He has to want to change for himself, like people whom quit smoking etc. You can try to encourage him down a path but if he doesn't want to change, move on for both of your sake's.0
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Maybe he likes to wear your dresses when you're not around
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Thank everyone. I actually needed all that straight talk.
I've thought about this for a long time and have several arguments/discussions with myself:
1) He is who he is and I can't change him. If I love him, I should not change him because it is he whom I love
2) I thought many times that I have been mean and pushy to him because of my insecurities and that he deserves someone better.
3) I talked to him many times and I've been trying to reign in my desire to make him eat/exercise more, but it would be nice if both of us were trying to adjust to make things work out
4) I know I'm being selfish and he's being nice, which then makes me hate myself after for telling him how I feel or after being pushy. It's a constant downward spiral, because I often guilt myself more than I should.
It will be a slow process, just like the process of changing my mindset about eating, but I will have to overcome my insecurities and return to loving him as he is again.0 -
If he is happy with his body, then that's all that should matter. If you don't like him the way he is, break up and find someone else.
Why try to change someone? Especially when there is really nothing wrong.
True words. I've had a problem with trying to achieve certain ideals such that when they are not realized, I get really freaked out or worried or hard on myself.
I really have to stop projecting my fears on others.0 -
Stay positive and focus on the good.
*nods*0 -
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I used to be really fat back in undergrad (borderline morbidly obese), but now I am a pretty healthy weight since I started to eat less and exercise more. I still am restrictive on what I eat, and I am trying to tell myself to try harder when I feel I ate a little too much. I suffered a bit from weight gain the past year, but now I'm trying to change my mindset to say its okay to gain a weight as muscle here and there because it looks good on me.
One thing I struggle with is comparing myself with others, especially my fat girlfriend. She is about 5'5" and around 150lbs. She has varied very little around 150 lbs ever since high school. She tells me that no matter what she did in high school, she never got any lighter She said she played some basketball and sometimes went to the gym with the girls. I look at her wrists and arms and notice that they are about as big as mine. Her wrists are a little bigger than mine.
I really want her to eat more and work out so she can blose weight. I mean, what boyfriend doesn't want a kinda skinny girlfriend?
Read that quote edited to sound like a fit guy talking about his more heavy (but still healthy) girlfriend to realize that you sound like a horrible human being.0 -
Thank everyone. I actually needed all that straight talk.
I've thought about this for a long time and have several arguments/discussions with myself:
1) He is who he is and I can't change him. If I love him, I should not change him because it is he whom I love
2) I thought many times that I have been mean and pushy to him because of my insecurities and that he deserves someone better.
3) I talked to him many times and I've been trying to reign in my desire to make him eat/exercise more, but it would be nice if both of us were trying to adjust to make things work out
4) I know I'm being selfish and he's being nice, which then makes me hate myself after for telling him how I feel or after being pushy. It's a constant downward spiral, because I often guilt myself more than I should.
It will be a slow process, just like the process of changing my mindset about eating, but I will have to overcome my insecurities and return to loving him as he is again.0 -
In to find out how to bulk up my wrists. (And ankles too.)0
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My girlfriend is Dominican, but I really want her to be Asian. I keep telling her to eat more foods that are traditionally asian, but she just won't. How can I make her Asian if she won't listen or try? It's not fair because I used to be Hispanic, and am now am Anglo Saxon. Help!0
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You are dating someone who is OK with his body. Most people would love to have that self acceptance. You are making it about you.0
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[quote[
Read that quote edited to sound like a fit guy talking about his more heavy (but still healthy) girlfriend to realize that you sound like a horrible human being
[/quote]
...
Thanks a lot
I already have low self-esteem
and now everyone is bagging on me rather than just helping me see the better way through this situation
there. you made a young lady cry and wish she never existed.0 -
I'm bulking...wanna hook up?0
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