Boyfriend always too skinny and doesn't try to gain weight

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  • djess050
    djess050 Posts: 66 Member
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    thats what happens when insecurity comes in, you start to want to change/blame others around you. ha I been there for other situations but you first have to work on yourself and who knows once he sees that you are changing inside and out, he will soon do the same for himself (if he wants to). Remember if your with him, the love needs to be conditional, So who cares what he looks like :) Hope things work out!
  • Chiefkeef420
    Chiefkeef420 Posts: 11
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    Stop projecting your weight insecurities onto your boyfriend and let him be happy with his body. Jesus.
  • writergeek313
    writergeek313 Posts: 390 Member
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    My boyfriend is skinny. Sometimes I worry he doesn't eat as much as it seems like he should for as active as he is. But you know what? He's a grown man and can take care of himself. We accept each other for who we are, and we support each other as we both try to be more active and healthy.

    You can't change someone who doesn't want to change. If he's happy with the way he looks and not so skinny that it's dangerous for his health (which it doesn't sound like is the case), you're just being selfish. People don't always do or act or become what we want them to--that's life. It seems like you have three options: continue wasting your time trying to make something happen that it doesn't sound like will, accept him for who he is, or move on and let him find somebody who does.
  • shivles
    shivles Posts: 468 Member
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    What does he want?

    Just imagine if it was the other way round and your boyfriend wanted a really buff girlfriend. He decided what you could eat, when you could eat, how much, monitored your weight and bf% obsessively! made you feel guilty for falling off the wagon... And all this time you don't want to be buff, you were happy the way you were.

    I don't think this is the best place for you to be, you clearly have issues around food and need help for them. I've been there and I know how difficult it is but reading all these comments will only make you feel worse. Get off MFP, see your doctor, and enjoy your boyfriend for who he is, you must have liked the person he was when you met or you wouldn't still be with him. Good luck x
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I'm not sure we needed 8 pages to say "you sound like a real b!tch", but such is life, I guess. Hope everybody got it out of their systems. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
    I can always tell when someone didn't actually read a thread.
  • marko320
    marko320 Posts: 84 Member
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    http://awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/dead-horse.gif
  • teamAmelia
    teamAmelia Posts: 1,247 Member
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    I'm not sure we needed 8 pages to say "you sound like a real b!tch", but such is life, I guess. Hope everybody got it out of their systems. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
    I can always tell when someone didn't actually read a thread.

    In general, I think that when ppl read the OP's message, they form an opinion and want it to be heard regardless of how many other ppl have said the same thing. I'm pretty sure that you've added your 2 cents to a thread after the solution had been posted. And, I normally don't read anything past the first page when I'm replying. I'll read what's posted after my reply, though.
  • JeaninePaige
    JeaninePaige Posts: 464 Member
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    Break up because your boyfriend deserves someone who will accept him as he is.

    Trying to change people against their will is not cool...nor is trying to shape them into your ideal.

    :drinker: THIS!
  • madpaddyjack
    madpaddyjack Posts: 45 Member
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    I'm not sure we needed 8 pages to say "you sound like a real b!tch", but such is life, I guess. Hope everybody got it out of their systems. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

    If someone doesn't want eight pages of commentary, they shouldn't post several paragraphs of stupidity.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I'm not sure we needed 8 pages to say "you sound like a real b!tch", but such is life, I guess. Hope everybody got it out of their systems. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
    I can always tell when someone didn't actually read a thread.

    In general, I think that when ppl read the OP's message, they form an opinion and want it to be heard regardless of how many other ppl have said the same thing. I'm pretty sure that you've added your 2 cents to a thread after the solution had been posted. And, I normally don't read anything past the first page when I'm replying. I'll read what's posted after my reply, though.
    Agreed. But there was a LOT more in this thread than people calling the OP a B. That was my point.
  • Lifelink
    Lifelink Posts: 193 Member
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    smh.
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
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    2yxhsg8.gif
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    I'm not sure we needed 8 pages to say "you sound like a real b!tch", but such is life, I guess. Hope everybody got it out of their systems. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

    If someone doesn't want eight pages of commentary, they shouldn't post several paragraphs of stupidity.

    that_crazy_nicholas_cage_640_46.gif
  • LiminalAscendance
    LiminalAscendance Posts: 489 Member
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    Yeah, you need to break up with the guy.

    No, not because he can get "better." So you can get better.

    I mean, come on, a guy whose wrists are smaller than yours? I'm not much for sexist stereotypes, but women want a man to be somewhat physically larger and stronger than they are (well, maybe this is the wrong place to expect that viewpoint to dominate!).

    And once you dump him, I'm sure he will find someone who doesn't care at all about him not having the body of an adult male...maybe someone into infantilization.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Yeah, you need to break up with the guy.

    No, not because he can get "better." So you can get better.

    I mean, come on, a guy whose wrists are smaller than yours? I'm not much for sexist stereotypes, but women want a man to be somewhat physically larger and stronger than they are (well, maybe this is the wrong place to expect that viewpoint to dominate!).

    And once you dump him, I'm sure he will find someone who doesn't care at all about him not having the body of an adult male...maybe someone into infantilization.
    Wow.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
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    Yeah, you need to break up with the guy.

    No, not because he can get "better." So you can get better.

    I mean, come on, a guy whose wrists are smaller than yours? I'm not much for sexist stereotypes, but women want a man to be somewhat physically larger and stronger than they are (well, maybe this is the wrong place to expect that viewpoint to dominate!).

    And once you dump him, I'm sure he will find someone who doesn't care at all about him not having the body of an adult male...maybe someone into infantilization.
    Wow.

    Took the words right out of my mouth. Except mine were followed with 'youre a ****'.
  • JeniferEverx3
    JeniferEverx3 Posts: 219 Member
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    I don't want to sound harsh, but you sound really selfish. Some people are built a certain way and nothing will change that. My best friend is 30 years old and has weight 98 pounds since high school - guess what? She eats like a HORSE. She does not have an eating disorder. That is just the way her body is. She is a tiny little toothpick and always will be. Trying to force and nag your boyfriend to bulk up because "what girl doesn't want" a muscular boyfriend is about the most shallow thing I've ever heard. Obviously YOU are that girl because you started dating him in the first place! You didn't have a problem with it then - why? because you had an eating disorder and were skinnier than him? Your boyfriend's diet and lifestyle are his to decide. What is really needed here is mental counseling for YOU. You may be trying to gain weight and eating more but if you don't feel you can do it without forcing him to do it with you then you are still being controlled by the eating disorder. I think you owe your boyfriend an apology and you need to leave him alone.
  • Andreaviolet89
    Andreaviolet89 Posts: 290 Member
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    You are trying to change him for the wrong reasons. C'mon, you dont really care about his health, you wouldnt have started dating him in the first place if you thought he was so unhealthy and unattractive. You are trying to change him so that you can feel more secure about your size, which isnt healthy for you. You have to be healthy and happy for yourself and if he wants to change he has to do it for himself. Im sorry to say this but maybe you are not ready yet to be in a relationship like this, maybe you need more time working on you and putting your health at the top of your priorities instead of his. Wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide.
  • rb16fitness
    rb16fitness Posts: 236 Member
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    I'm bulking...wanna hook up?

    Oh baby! :love:
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    Yeah, you need to break up with the guy.

    No, not because he can get "better." So you can get better.

    I mean, come on, a guy whose wrists are smaller than yours? I'm not much for sexist stereotypes, but women want a man to be somewhat physically larger and stronger than they are (well, maybe this is the wrong place to expect that viewpoint to dominate!).

    And once you dump him, I'm sure he will find someone who doesn't care at all about him not having the body of an adult male...maybe someone into infantilization.
    Wow.

    Took the words right out of my mouth. Except mine were followed with 'youre a ****'.

    ....... Wow .....
    And the whole 'not into sexist stereotypes.. But here, let me tell you all about how shallow/sexist my viewpoint and stereotype really is' .....

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