Skipping Thanksgiving

someone always ends up crying at my family holidays. it seem that it bring up old wounds. food fuels the fire.

We love our families, but we loathe family get-togethers. Everyone on both sides has accepted the fact that it's really important to us to live a low-stress, low-drama life. Some Thanksgivings we join one of our families for dinner -- but many years we just say we're wanting something low-key and spending it by ourselves.

This year we are going to Aspen for two nights and enjoying some fine dining for Thanksgiving dinner.

They are all happy for us and totally understanding.

I say, just express what you want/need and if they are a supportive family they'll accept it and thankful to have such open lines of communication that you were able to tell them how you felt.

I know how you feel. I feel the same, really. I HAVE to host and daily I think how much I just want to get out of it. Ugh, the cleaning, the shopping, the cooking...it's just too much. I don't know why I'm unsentimental and don't really cherish these moments. But I will tell you what I keep saying to myself...

Suck it up. Your family deserves to feel like they are welcome,special and loved and you will make that happen.

Happy Holidays!

I don't see anything wrong with staying home and doing what you want for the day. I always stay home on Thanksgiving and spend the day with my husband and children. I make a small meal. My family is always welcome here and sometimes they do come. Most other times everyone enjoys it with their immediate families.

My family is huge and there is an event or two every month that we get together. It is really nice to have a holiday that we relax here.

I don't think there's been much of a "Thanksgiving" since I was a kid, but I do remember going with my boyfriend's family when I was 17. That's a story for another nightmare.

Otherwise, I took to either an early Subway dinner or having deli turkey in the house. Can't stand my family.

My husband's family has a huge get-together on Thanksgiving and again on Christmas. I love them to pieces and am really disappointed when I can't go, because they really know how to party. There's always lots of music, dancing, conversation and laughter. And oh yes, FOOD.
The thing is, if you take the time to visit with all your family members, you won't have much time for eating. If the weather is good, go for a walk before dinner, or go out and play with the kids.
Also, if you limit yourself to the vegetable dishes and ONLY white meat, leave off the gravies, potatoes, and pies (oh my!), you'll come out a lot better on the meal. And, ONLY ONE TRIP to the food trough!
Like so many other people have said, you only get your family for a limited time. Treasure the opportunities to get together, and make the most of them. Don't make them about food, don't let food control you.

i am NOT a fan of any of the big holidays. My detest for Thanksgiving is trumped only by that of Christmas. If I could, i would totally duck out and spend both thanksgiving and xmas curled up in bed with a book, a blanket, and some wine. alone. or, perhaps in the company of one select individual.

i love my family to no end, but i despise the forced nature of these commercial holidays.

what i really wish i could do is go vacation somewhere from nov. 22 through the new year. man. that would be perfect.

My family doesn't push food on me, but my in-laws do, BIG TIME.

But I've learned to avoid this by filling the plate and eating slowly. If the plate got empty before meal's end another portion gets heaped on, so I learned a slow steady pace lets me eat a hearty amount but not get stuffed alive.

You could just eat the food and get over it. How on earth is one day going to ruin you?

i cant tell if this is a food thing or a family thing.

if its a food thing, get over it. 1 day aint gonna kill ya.

if its a family thing...eh, i kinda get it. there have been years where ive thought to myself "man i'd much rather just not drive an hour. i'd really enjoy just staying home with my wife and kid and relaxing doing what we do."

but 99% of the time....we go.
we go because my in-laws love it.
we go because our son loves it.
we go because it's good to spend holidays with loved ones and laugh and smile and make memories.

take your book, stuff your face, enjoy the day, and leave early.

I live 800 miles from my family, and 600 from my in-laws. Thanksgiving dinner is usually me making a fairly massive feast for me, my husband and daughter. It is freaking bliss! I get to spend the day doing something I love (cooking) for the two most important people in my life. I'm an only child and have never cared much for large family get-togethers, so I'm glad there's no pressure for us to attend one.

I just don't know how to get my point across to my highly sentimental relatives that I'm just not all that into stuffing my face this year. Food = Love in my family.

Nightmare scenario. Yes, I think a bout of the flu is the answer to this one.

Love doesn't ask you to do things you are uncomfortable with doing. Maybe rethink your definition.

Nail on head. Love is acceptance - not food.

Be grateful that you have family close enough to see. Isn't that what Thanksgiving is about? Being thankful for all you have?

I would give anything to see my family over the holidays, but they're states away.

I get to work 18 hours on Thanksgiving. Hope you enjoy your "quiet evening at home." :flowerforyou: