signs your man is cheating?
Replies
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This was done after many signs. I'm single now and have a boyfriend whom I don't check anything of his. Everything is based on trust until he gives me a good reason not to be.
Yeah...if I was dating someone who was reading all of my emails and checking my phone and my Facebook and asking me about all that crap, that would be the END of that relationship.The cell phone is a big helper ! Look at his calls and texts. Also look on his Facebook page or twitter etc. Does he walk away when he gets phone calls ? Is he starting to take better care of himself ? Wearing cologne when he used to not ? Check out his vehicle. They hide a lot there ! Is he buying more gum and breath freshener than he used to ? Is he using the credit cards more or the ATM ? Staying late at work ? Going out with 'the guys' more ? Trimming his croch hairs if he didn't before ? Goes missing for hours ? Gives lame excuses ? I'm sure I can think of more. I have experience !
You either trust me or you don't. If you don't, that's fine, but we're not going to be together.
I get it, some women have been hurt by cheating. It sucks. But that has nothing to do with me and if you want a relationship with me, trust has to be part of it.
/end rant0 -
A lot of crazy in this thread.0
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His woman is not looking after his needs.0
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Hayley and Hauntingly are the sanest women in a thread...
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I so understand this !Husband cheated. Wanted to work it out. Price of that was earning my trust again. Therefore, I have access to cell phone and all of his accounts. Voluntarily, mind you. He was told that I would be checking them. Periodically, I do. As the trust is rebuilding, the accounts are checked less and less often.
It's been 2 years. The only time anything is checked is if he is showing some of the "signs". Sometimes, the "signs" are just me being suspicious. But, he understands that he made me a suspicious person. I check very rarely now. Very rarely.0 -
I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..0
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To those who feel it is appropriate to access all of your partner's accounts if you have a "feeling", how would you feel if the roles were reversed?
If I am just dating someone, I don't feel the need to access accounts. If I am married, I feel we have the right to each other's accounts and they will know that going into the marriage BUT I don't check anything until they give me a reason to. I am a pro now though, having been cheated on multiple times, so I know the signs before I even have to access stuff. My "feelings" are pretty much always right. Go me.0 -
so true !Husband cheated. Wanted to work it out. Price of that was earning my trust again. Therefore, I have access to cell phone and all of his accounts. Voluntarily, mind you. He was told that I would be checking them. Periodically, I do. As the trust is rebuilding, the accounts are checked less and less often.
It's been 2 years. The only time anything is checked is if he is showing some of the "signs". Sometimes, the "signs" are just me being suspicious. But, he understands that he made me a suspicious person. I check very rarely now. Very rarely.
Well if he wants to work it out, then he knows there would be things like this. So if anyone complains about it. Obviously the Husband wanted it as if he wants his wife's trust back.. Its not just going to be with a card and some flowers.0 -
To those who feel it is appropriate to access all of your partner's accounts if you have a "feeling", how would you feel if the roles were reversed?
If I am just dating someone, I don't feel the need to access accounts. If I am married, I feel we have the right to each other's accounts and they will know that going into the marriage. I am a pro now though, having been cheated on multiple times, so I know the signs before I even have to access stuff. My "feelings" are pretty much always right. Go me.
I agree with it. Marriage is much more than a dating relationship. A lot more is at stake and a lot more pain can be had with someone you say I do with.0 -
that's the sanest thing I've heard !I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..0 -
I was married for 15 years. Never cheated once.I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..
I'm still saying it. But if you're at that level, maybe it's already over.0 -
totally agree especially when children are involved.To those who feel it is appropriate to access all of your partner's accounts if you have a "feeling", how would you feel if the roles were reversed?
If I am just dating someone, I don't feel the need to access accounts. If I am married, I feel we have the right to each other's accounts and they will know that going into the marriage. I am a pro now though, having been cheated on multiple times, so I know the signs before I even have to access stuff. My "feelings" are pretty much always right. Go me.
I agree with it. Marriage is much more than a dating relationship. A lot more is at stake and a lot more pain can be had with someone you say I do with.0 -
I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..
But if you had never checked, would you have ever known?0 -
Fair enough, but I'm guessing then it's already over.
This was done after many signs. I'm single now and have a boyfriend whom I don't check anything of his. Everything is based on trust until he gives me a good reason not to be.
Yeah...if I was dating someone who was reading all of my emails and checking my phone and my Facebook and asking me about all that crap, that would be the END of that relationship.The cell phone is a big helper ! Look at his calls and texts. Also look on his Facebook page or twitter etc. Does he walk away when he gets phone calls ? Is he starting to take better care of himself ? Wearing cologne when he used to not ? Check out his vehicle. They hide a lot there ! Is he buying more gum and breath freshener than he used to ? Is he using the credit cards more or the ATM ? Staying late at work ? Going out with 'the guys' more ? Trimming his croch hairs if he didn't before ? Goes missing for hours ? Gives lame excuses ? I'm sure I can think of more. I have experience !
You either trust me or you don't. If you don't, that's fine, but we're not going to be together.
I get it, some women have been hurt by cheating. It sucks. But that has nothing to do with me and if you want a relationship with me, trust has to be part of it.
/end rant
But I could understand if someone decided to stay with someone after an affair, what was described above is probably just logical.0 -
I have been married 8 years and nothing is over in my marriage LOL.
I was married for 15 years. Never cheated once.I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..
I'm still saying it. But if you're at that level, maybe it's already over.0 -
I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..
But if you had never checked, would you have ever known?
Yes, because the first time he cheated on me ( with my friend, just making out and crap) he came to me crying and begging for forgiveness. I didn't even have a hunch that anything was going on. SO in the other issues that came up, it became easy without looking into anything that he was cheating because he was so obvious in it. I up and left, I only came back because I am not one who believes in divorce ( my own feelings) and it has been wonderful ever since. I have told him too in it all, if he wanted to cheat and not have a wife to just tell me and I WOULD walk away without attacking him for money and my share in crap and all that. I am an adult and had taken care of myself up to marrying him. *shrugs* I see things different than most I guess.0 -
that's the sanest thing I've heard !I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..
Exactly.0 -
Even if he cheated and now you have to watch his every move?
I have been married 8 years and nothing is over in my marriage LOL.
I was married for 15 years. Never cheated once.I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..
I'm still saying it. But if you're at that level, maybe it's already over.
I mean I get it if that's what you want. I wouldn't dare judge anyone for sticking with a marriage even after an affair. I just know i wouldn't. No way. You just can't ever get the trust back and that's so key for me anyway.0 -
I was married for 19 years and worked through infedelity a couple times. For me it was 'strike three and you're out'.
I have been married 8 years and nothing is over in my marriage LOL.
I was married for 15 years. Never cheated once.I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..
I'm still saying it. But if you're at that level, maybe it's already over.0 -
Even if he cheated and now you have to watch his every move?
I have been married 8 years and nothing is over in my marriage LOL.
I was married for 15 years. Never cheated once.I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..
I'm still saying it. But if you're at that level, maybe it's already over.
I mean I get it if that's what you want. I wouldn't dare judge anyone for sticking with a marriage even after an affair. I just know i wouldn't. No way. You just can't ever get the trust back and that's so key for me anyway.
I have my trust back in my marriage. We both go to counseling and do a ton of things together and attend church and are very happy. We were very young when married ( 19) and I am a very forgiving person if someone asks me. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I do get the old pains of being hurt very badly. But I trust in God in my life ( don't worry not going to go all biblical) and I just know that I am not a person who can judge my husband for doing something wrong when I have done so much wrong in my own life. Like I said I am just a very different person than most lol0 -
Lay them out for me. I'll start.
1. You come home early and find him buckling his pants and looking guilty... and he tries to hide it by attacking you with kisses that smell like (s*x) pheramones... (this happened to a friend today)
wait.. porn is cheating? pshhh... you better go down every day if thats how it is...
Maybe she didn't mean porn? Maybe like skype sex? I consider that cheating right along with sending dirty pictures, texts and videos.0 -
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I was married for 19 years and worked through infedelity a couple times. For me it was 'strike three and you're out'.
I have been married 8 years and nothing is over in my marriage LOL.
I was married for 15 years. Never cheated once.I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..
I'm still saying it. But if you're at that level, maybe it's already over.
Yeah I so understand that. Mine was more my friend and him made out and stupid crap and then he talked to slots through email and texts and sent them pictures. I am pretty sure if it has been more than just that, that kept happening I would have left and then made it all on him. I am not a very vengeful person as we all do wrong. But when it comes to a marriage, I find it stupid to get married in the first place if all you want to do is go about and sleep around with others. Its like don't get married then. I made that clear going into fixing our marriage. That if he wanted that then I was gone and he needed to tell me he wanted them over me, he very much made it clear he didn't want that. That it was due to a ton of stress in our home ( his parents and I didn't get a long and we rented from them and they were always fighting with me) and me not being helpful in ways I didn't know he need help. SO with the issues that happened, I blame myself some too. It takes two to tango.0 -
Even if he cheated and now you have to watch his every move?
I have been married 8 years and nothing is over in my marriage LOL.
I was married for 15 years. Never cheated once.I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..
I'm still saying it. But if you're at that level, maybe it's already over.
I mean I get it if that's what you want. I wouldn't dare judge anyone for sticking with a marriage even after an affair. I just know i wouldn't. No way. You just can't ever get the trust back and that's so key for me anyway.
I wouldn't say that you can never get it back.
I know a couple that married at the age of 17. It was 5 years of pure hell. Drinking, cheating. Then, drinking and cheating to pay back. Fighting etc, etc, etc. They then divorced. They were divorced for 2 years. Each engaged to another person. Things happened and they decided to try again. Renewed commitment...They've now been married for over 45 years. Happily.
Things can change. But, not without commitment. If someone cheats, you obviously have to question their commitment. "Mistakes" can be made. Those mistakes will have consequences.
Let me ask those who have children...if your child does something that causes you to mistrust them, do you give up right then and there? No, there are consequences for their actions but you would allow them to try to win your trust back. I love my husband. I was willing to allow him to try to win my trust back.0 -
Even if he cheated and now you have to watch his every move?
I have been married 8 years and nothing is over in my marriage LOL.
I was married for 15 years. Never cheated once.I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..
I'm still saying it. But if you're at that level, maybe it's already over.
I mean I get it if that's what you want. I wouldn't dare judge anyone for sticking with a marriage even after an affair. I just know i wouldn't. No way. You just can't ever get the trust back and that's so key for me anyway.
I wouldn't say that you can never get it back.
I know a couple that married at the age of 17. It was 5 years of pure hell. Drinking, cheating. Then, drinking and cheating to pay back. Fighting etc, etc, etc. They then divorced. They were divorced for 2 years. Each engaged to another person. Things happened and they decided to try again. Renewed commitment...They've now been married for over 45 years. Happily.
Things can change. But, not without commitment. If someone cheats, you obviously have to question their commitment. "Mistakes" can be made. Those mistakes will have consequences.
Let me ask those who have children...if your child does something that causes you to mistrust them, do you give up right then and there? No, there are consequences for their actions but you would allow them to try to win your trust back. I love my husband. I was willing to allow him to try to win my trust back.
Love this^^0 -
I didn't read the thread, but a turned off phone would be the biggest sign0
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If you stumble across him having sex with another woman (or man). I think that's probably the most definite sign.0
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I would say their story is an EXTREME outlier.
Even if he cheated and now you have to watch his every move?
I have been married 8 years and nothing is over in my marriage LOL.
I was married for 15 years. Never cheated once.I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..
I'm still saying it. But if you're at that level, maybe it's already over.
I mean I get it if that's what you want. I wouldn't dare judge anyone for sticking with a marriage even after an affair. I just know i wouldn't. No way. You just can't ever get the trust back and that's so key for me anyway.
I wouldn't say that you can never get it back.
I know a couple that married at the age of 17. It was 5 years of pure hell. Drinking, cheating. Then, drinking and cheating to pay back. Fighting etc, etc, etc. They then divorced. They were divorced for 2 years. Each engaged to another person. Things happened and they decided to try again. Renewed commitment...They've now been married for over 45 years. Happily.
Things can change. But, not without commitment. If someone cheats, you obviously have to question their commitment. "Mistakes" can be made. Those mistakes will have consequences.
Let me ask those who have children...if your child does something that causes you to mistrust them, do you give up right then and there? No, there are consequences for their actions but you would allow them to try to win your trust back. I love my husband. I was willing to allow him to try to win my trust back.0 -
To those who feel it is appropriate to access all of your partner's accounts if you have a "feeling", how would you feel if the roles were reversed?
If I am just dating someone, I don't feel the need to access accounts. If I am married, I feel we have the right to each other's accounts and they will know that going into the marriage BUT I don't check anything until they give me a reason to. I am a pro now though, having been cheated on multiple times, so I know the signs before I even have to access stuff. My "feelings" are pretty much always right. Go me.
I hate it when those feelings are right, ive been cheated on by every guy ive ever been with, I never had to go through their phones or catch them, they just admitted it and they were promptly discarded from my life.0 -
I would say their story is an EXTREME outlier.
Even if he cheated and now you have to watch his every move?
I have been married 8 years and nothing is over in my marriage LOL.
I was married for 15 years. Never cheated once.I just find it amusing at some of the things being said. It's easier for someone to say that your "crazy" for checking things if they have never been in anything more than a gf/bf relationship. With marriage it is much more of a commitment and isn't just you go your separate ways if something goes wrong. It's more paper, accounts, money and pets and children wise that needs to be figured up and decided on who gets what. I would rather be called a crazy for checking things, then a lunatic for going through all that to just have another relationship with someone else. Which could lead to the same thing. I find it easier to fix what is already cracking, then walk away from some simple issues that can be fixed..
I'm still saying it. But if you're at that level, maybe it's already over.
I mean I get it if that's what you want. I wouldn't dare judge anyone for sticking with a marriage even after an affair. I just know i wouldn't. No way. You just can't ever get the trust back and that's so key for me anyway.
I wouldn't say that you can never get it back.
I know a couple that married at the age of 17. It was 5 years of pure hell. Drinking, cheating. Then, drinking and cheating to pay back. Fighting etc, etc, etc. They then divorced. They were divorced for 2 years. Each engaged to another person. Things happened and they decided to try again. Renewed commitment...They've now been married for over 45 years. Happily.
Things can change. But, not without commitment. If someone cheats, you obviously have to question their commitment. "Mistakes" can be made. Those mistakes will have consequences.
Let me ask those who have children...if your child does something that causes you to mistrust them, do you give up right then and there? No, there are consequences for their actions but you would allow them to try to win your trust back. I love my husband. I was willing to allow him to try to win my trust back.
Maybe so, maybe not. It's only been 2 years since my husband cheated. I'll let you know in 43 if lightening strikes twice.0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u563PVj2xKs
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