support for Binge Eating Disorder

I didn't even realize this was a disorder...well I definitely fit into this category!! I've been struggling with disordered eating for as long as I can remember, but have never seeked help. I honestly have no idea how to combat it.

Diane,

Well I have heard of the $$$, but I have never tried it myself since I already save all of my change daily. I definitely could not afford $5 bucks a day anyways.

On junk food, I can not have any of it in my house at any time. I have things I binge on that is not junk food and I don't have it in house either. Example of not junk food I do not buy in bulk for my house is cheese, nuts, trail mix, nutritional bars, etc. Anything that I have binge on TWICE I ban from my home. Winter is coming so I can leave cheese sticks in my car and get one or two on way to gym or going in my home.

Like you said even though it cost more I pay more for single servings of everything when I have a taste for it. I go out and get it vs. keeping it in my house. I can't chance it at all. Too dangerouse for me.

Last night went exactly as planned. And I got my $5! I'm seeing a new bra in my future

So I mentioned I had to fast for a lab appt this morning...it was just a finger prick to test blood sugar. I work for a hospital and they offer us a discounted rate on our medical insurance if we jump through their hoops. Basically all we have to do is fill out an online health assessment and then go to a brief appt like the one I had this morning where they do just a couple tests. They weighed me (267 currently), they took my height (5'8"), they measured my waist (43 inches), they took blood pressure (119/78 which is awesome) and did the blood sugar and I was in the normal range.

Hey diane....I can't keep junk food in the house. Not ready to eat junk food. The single serving idea has always been my go to strategy. If I want something, I have to leave my house to get it. And I get the smallest serving size possible. If possible, like if its a bakery item, I go to a cafe and eat it on a plate. The ritual of eating the food like "a regular person," in public, on a plate, with a utensil, is something that I find satisfying.

But a similar strategy is that I keep the raw ingredients for making a few things at home. So, I have sugar, butter, and flour (nut and rice flour for me) If I really want something sweet...because sometimes you just do! I'm a human being too!...I will make a small serving of something. Apple crisps and sweet crepes are what I'm into right now. They are really easy to make. But I still only make a small amount. So I can eat the whole thing. I'm a binger, but there is some compulsive part of me that has to "eat the whole thing," even when its not a binge. If there is a cake in my house, its like it will haunt me until I "eat the whole thing." Now, simply eating a whole cake over 2 days isn't necessarily a binge...its more like over eating. But the anxiety and compulsion to "eat the whole thing" is similar for me. So, if I make a little mini-crisp (I make it in a tiny cast iron skillet), I can still eat the whole thing, which I find satisfying. But having to cook it makes it something I have to be mindful of rather than just mindlessly throwing it in my mouth.

Anyway. That's me. No ready to eat junk food/binge food in the house. But raw ingredients for cooking them (in small portions) are allowed!

--Tatiana

Hey!

Bad day today, it really helped to plan out my meals the other day but did not do that today, so fail to plan and plan to fail. I will not let this ruin my day.

Right know I feel a little helpless, stress is a really crappy thing it really makes me feel like crap and I get that I don't care attuide.

My self image is really down right know, I'm really trying not to let it get to me, I just wish I could get a grip on these.

I have the rest of the day and tomorrow to make it better.

I did not log in everything because I feel like crap right now it might push me into more binging so I'm just typing and crying it out.

Tks for listening, I think next time I will post when I get the urge to binge and hopefully someone is on to talk me through it.

I don't feel comfortable talking with people I know who will not undersatnd been burned to many times.My family is not there for me. My hubby understand but I don't want to bug him at work.

So I know I can talk to you guys here. I will check in tomorrow.

Melissa

I typed this email to my girlfriend earlier today and thought I'd share it with you guys too. I really need to start talking about the binges more. I hope the more I talk about them the more I can learn to evaluate them and learn from them. My girlfriend is the one who introduced me to this site and she and I both battle with binge eating. We get together once a week for a walk and it is our "therapy session".

Here's the email:

I'm glad we went out last night, even if we did cut it a little short. We still did 2 miles though! I had to take $5 out of the vase last night and it was a perfect example of what we were talking about when we were joking about whether or not it was a full blown binge. Because it really wasn't and it was mostly "healthy" food, but it felt uncontrolled. So I got home from your house and was waiting for Joe to come over. We were going to put in a frozen pizza so I was trying to be patient. But then I started to get so hungry I thought I'd just eat a little something. Down went a 4oz yogurt, 15 pretzels, and a bagel thin w/ peanut butter and they were all very uncontrolled like I was trying to shove them in before he got there so he didn't see me eating them. Well he walked in just as I was finishing the bagel thin and then we had pizza within 20 min after that. I was still in binge mode though. I could feel it. I wanted to eat the whole pizza and I still wouldn't be satisfied. I downed 2 pieces and then wanted sweet so had a sugar free pudding and then wanted salty again so had another piece. I wasn't "hungry" anymore at this point but I wasn't satisfied. I needed chocolate! We were going over to his mechanics house so Joe could drop off some $ so I asked him to stop at the gas station so I could get some chocolate. As I stood there looking at all my choices I wanted everything. But what did I go for? Chocolate. So that is what I got. Just a plain Dove bar. And I even gave Joe one of the 5 pieces. But did I deserve my $5? I think not. Thanks for listening.

Just popping by to say hello!! Yesterday was a bad day but I did not go over 3500 calories. A mini binge or I just call it compulsive eating yesterday. I could not stop snacking. Today I did good at work with all the halloween goodies galore! I did have a piece cake at the end of day but it was one small piece and the last piece so I could not go back for more.

I will end up under calories when I go workout tonight! I will catch up on posts over the weekend, I see the board has been busy....:-)

Have a good weekend ladies!

Hey!

alphasigalum don't beat yourself up! We all have those bad binge days don't let it bug you. Move on and start fresh in your next meal.

dianeg1981 good for you for being honest and appecting what happened.

Mollie1037 mini binging are way better than a full out binge. One day at time right no worries.

I binged yesterday but not as bad as I have done before, I'm proud of myself for not going crazy. I have found when I crave something I just have to get that thing I'm craving. Other wise I stuff myself when everything else trying to get the craving.

Today is going to be hard I have 3 halloween party today for the kids, so lots of junk everywhere. I'm going to try to stay within my cals and get a workout in aswell. So I don't gain to much weight one good thing is my day is really busy so there will not be time to binge yay.

Also my in-laws are here so that helps having someone home during the day which is my worest time of day.

Good luck to everyone this weekend try not to eat to much candy.

Melissa

Hi everyone, I would like to join this group...
I have been dealing with binge eating my entire life. When I was young and noone was home I would eat, and eat, and eat. I would sneak food at night and bring it up to my room, it could be anything but I would sneak it and eat it and want more. Now that I understand what I was doing and have better control I am more able to handle the situations. I dont binge like I used to but I have my days that I just cant stop eating. When I was in college I started to binge and purge everyday. I would eat huge meals and throw them up. I was bulemic and got very sick. Had to see a doctor and go through all of the talking about it etc. I didnt help any. What truly helped me was learning on my own how to control what I do and taking more responisbility for my actions and myself.

I just finished a cleanse and last night I allowed myself to have 1 piece of candy, I went back to the bowl for another and realized what I was doing. I was disgusted and put the candy back int he bowl. It was not worth it to ruin the cleanse I just completed. I did a good job on it and was not going to let it all backfire for a piece of candy. I took control of the situation and really saw a change in myself. I struggle still and fight with myself internally but I think that having a support group will really help!!!

Thank you for sharing jaclyn! :flowerforyou: We are here for you. And GREAT JOB putting the candy down (as I have a tootsie pop in my mouth as I type this). What kind of cleanse are you talking about?

Day 1 of no binging more to come later!!!!!!!!

Yay!

I love reading the positive sharings and support on here. I don't post that often, but I'm here, reading, everyday. Everyone is doing a great job focusing on one day at a time...everyday successes, and learning from everyday lapses. I have been doing abstinence from trigger foods for about 2 weeks now. And no binges. Some things I don't think I'll ever eat. But there are a few things I'd like to phase in with moderation. For example, I don't have a problem with sugar only sweets (no flour). But I'm still worried about it. I can get a little obsessive about food...whether I'm binging or restricting. So even though I'm anxious about adding some foods back in, I feel like I should "break" the obsessive pattern and have some. Because abstaining from everything is just a setup for a binge. Eventually.

Great job staying away from the candy Mel! I ate about 6 pieces myself at the office yesterday over the course of the day and even though it was not a binge it was still not good for me. I ended up going to bed last night at 6pm from a bad headache and avoided my monster time so I did put another $5 in the vase because you can't binge when you're asleep. LOL.

I am pretty emotional today and don't know what's wrong. Maybe PMS. I hope so because I feel awful. I feel very out of control and I feel really stressed out. I talked w/ my mom for a bit just now and that seemed to help a little but even as I type this I am teary eyed. I am also wondering if it is the green eyed monster coming out. I went to the gym w/ my girlfriend who had gastric bypass on Sept 9th this morning. She has lost 40lbs since then. I'm so jealous!!! 40lbs in less than 2 months and here I've been working my butt off since Feb and have only lost a measly 47lbs! I just can't help but wish I was in her shoes being able to lose so much weight so quickly. It's like she doesn't even have to try at losing weight now and it is just melting off. As I've mentioned before I don't think the surgery would be a good route for me in particular so I'm not interested in getting it, I'm just feeling a bit jealous right now because she's making it seem so easy. Mollie, maybe you could shed some light on this topic for me and maybe tell me how your first 6 months went. And Mollie please don't ever feel offended by what I say about the surgery, I don't always know how to say the right thing without hurting someone's feelings. But know that that is not my intent. This is just about my own insecurities and feelings of hopelessness, not about surgery.

Welcome Lynz and so nice to hear from you Tatiana! You're right about not setting yourself up for a binge, great job recognizing the pattern.

No Halloween candy in my house. I don't get any trick or treaters here so no need to have any around. I do have a chocolate/almond bar in my cupboard but no other treat food in the house. I really need to go grocery shopping though because my fridge is empty. I'm going to be moving Nov 15-Dec 1 so dont' want to have a whole lot of extra stuff around but last week I made too many trips to the office cafeteria so I will just go do my normal grocery shopping this week because it was too easy to reach for the muffins and cookies and other naughty things at the cafeteria. I'm not even going to look at the Halloween candy because it all comes in bulk and I will not go there. I also have a problem with candy on sale. After holiday sales are the worst. I'd buy 10 bags of candy just because they were so cheap. Not ever doing that again!

I hope you all have a nice weekend too!

I did good yesterday and earned my $5. Ate a late dinner around 9pm and was in bed by 10:30 with no bingeing.

A big shout out to Mollie for a great job on 6 years into your new lifestyle! I am so very proud of you for all your hard work dear! I truly appreciate all of your support as well, thank you for being here for me.

Thanks Diane!! I am proud of you too. As you know from my story weight loss surgery is fast weight loss in the beginning and the honeymoon is wonderful. Please do not compare yourself to your friend who has has WLS. This tool is helping her but she will still have to do the work to maintain her loss in the end. So hopefully she is taking the time to do the head work because it is more important than anything. I wish they had a brain surgery out there for eating.:laugh: Got to run now and will catch up later!

So instead of sitting here all afternoon feeling sorry for myself I decided to call my girlfriend who I walk with and we went for a nice long walk this afternoon instead. That made me feel better about the candy I ate yesterday too because now I know I burned it off. I've never exercised twice in one day before and it kind of felt good today knowing that I was even able to. I was sure beat by the time we got to the end of the walk but my mind was a little more clear and I burned a lot of calories today. Just got back from the grocery store and now I've got a full fridge and freezer stocked full of fruits, veggies, fiber enhanced yogurt, lean meats, whole grains, some lean cuisine meals, stuff to make healthy banana nut muffins and the only sweet stuff I bought were fiber rich chocolate granola bars and some lowfat puddings. I've set myself up to have a good next week with food!