Doing this in secret?

My wife know, she is on here. My son knows. My daughter doesn't care. (She's 3). I am not telling anyone else really unless they invite me to eat/drink something that would throw me off my plan. Then I tell them I am on a "diet" but that's as far as I go. Part of me wants to surprise people, but my wife has to know so she can help support me on this.

I do feel your pain though. I just had to adopt the outlook that it doesn't matter what my friends think, i NEED to do this.

I didn't announce it when I first started. Of course my house mates knew because I weighed everything before I ate it and I told my sister (who lives in a different country than me) but apart from that I kept it to myself and my mfp pals. I only told people once they started to notice and asked me how I did it. Most of my colleagues still don't know that I didn't just lose the weight from for getting to eat but from actively trying to do so...

But my family and close friends all know about it now. I look quite different and they noticed and asked

Yes, I am doing this in 'semi-secret'! My husband knows, because I want him to support me and not offer me biscuits when we're sat watching TV, but mainly because I have two young daughters and I don't want them to hear people asking me how the diet is going! I want to be a good role model for them advocating healthy eating etc and exercise but don't want them growing up hearing about diets and calories.

Also, the other thing I've found in the past are the diet saboteurs that seem hell bent on telling you you don't need to diet and then start trying to get you to eat a load of junk with them! :laugh:

So, that's where I am with it all and wish everyone lots of success. I'm only on day four but am feeling very determined, long may it continue!

Interesting topic because I suppose I have also taken a view its a secret.

I haven't told anybody because I am trying not to think of the change as a diet at all, just a change in lifestyle. I need to manage stress, get more exercise and care about what I eat and drink, before it’s too late! The weight coming off, the healthier glow of my skin and the more fit state of my body will happen as a result – I hope! So I really don't fancy telling people I am on a diet because what I am doing is slowly changing my eating and exercise and something don’t plan to stop.

I have told my husband about the weight losses when they happen, and he knows I joined the gym. He has been encouraging, saying things like well done - slow and easy - don't weigh yourself every day! He didn't scold me for my lager weekend, not the Scotch egg for breakfast yesterday, which means no weight loss this week! He did note when I came home from the gym last night that "your skin has a glow about it today", which is positive and encouraging.

It sounds like you kept it a secret to protect yourself from the possibility of failure, or setting yourself up for restriction imposed by peers who know. I think it would be hard to tell somebody who is going to "instruct you" and advise you of your doomed failure. However, maybe your wife didn't realise you were serious about the change and felt the need to, where if she had known she would be involved she might not have felt the urge to butt in? Not sure, but she does know now and now she will have an opportunity to be supportive which you were denying her. I would feel sad to think my husband couldn't lean on me, let her in - you have nothing to hide from her because you are not going to fail!

I did my weight loss in secret also. I got sick and tired of listening to my friends talk about their 30 day cleanses, Advocare shakes etc. I decided to get on MFP, weigh myself, log food and exercise and read these posts. I stopped drinking wine and sugar. I told people that I was having such terrible hot flashes that I was not sleeping and could not take this so I had to cut out all sugar and alcohol. No one questioned it!!! Slowly, people began to notice. I stopped the discipline and slowly gained back 10 lbs. Now back on track and doing good. I don't want people behind my back to say "She is gaining it all back"!!!!

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels

It's honestly better to do it in secret and say you have a problem that's why you can't have certain foods because I remember before, my friends always wanted to eat out but I am trying to save and eat clean at the same time. they mocked me for it calling me frugal and stuff making fun of me lol

My mum, dad and sister know (they're all on this site after I told them about it). My co-worker knows because she sees me randomly scanning barcodes on foods!

Other than that, nope no-one knows. Not even my housemate!

I just don't want to deal with the 'hows the diet going' questions and the funny looks when I eat chocolate/drink wine. It's just easier if no-one knows!

The disappointing thing - 50lbs down and no-one seems to have noticed!! But then again, 50lbs down and i'm still wearing the same clothes, so I can't expect them to notice

love that quote. thanks!

I weigh 330 lbs. For a person of my size, prior to taking health into consideration, I personally thought that it was vital for me to tell my family that I am beginning to sought to attaining fitness. Not in person though, but over facebook.

I personally think it's annoying when I see people post on facebook every single day saying "going to the gym", and so on and so forth. That mindset of mind has made me prevent myself from doing the same thing. I mentioned going to the gym once, and that is it. As for working out in secrecy, nope, my family members know that I am working out but I refrain myself from being gym buddies with family members. I'd rather be gym buddies with friends LOL.

Anyone else losing weight / getting fit in secret?

I'm not exactly keeping it a secret I'm just not announcing it anywhere other than here, but I got a reminder of why I'm doing it this way at home this weekend.

My wife and I ended up in a discussion about food, nothing serious, but she is critical of the fact that sometimes I'm not hungry in the evenings so don't want to eat, sometimes I eat bad food, sometimes I eat "too much protein", sometimes I have an unnatural protein shake etc.

It got to the point where she said I'd never lose weight and I stupidly told her I'd lost weight recently to which she said "well it doesn't look like it" - ouch.

It was quite funny because it came about 2 days after a friend of hers said that it looked like I'd lost weight. I'm not exactly a poster boy for MFP but I'm making progress - I'm down 10lbs, have knocked 3 mins off my 5k time, have doubled the weight I can squat etc.

It made me remember why I wasn't telling anyone in the real world about my weight loss efforts.

Wow, sounds like a real supportive wife you got there.

Not saying you should get a divorce or anything. It's just nice to see us dysfunctional types aren't alone.

My mom and one of my coworkers know but only because they're both trying to do something about their weight. I've done the whole telling everyone before and, for me, I just feel like it sets me up to fail. I start to feel like I have to prove myself to these people when I should just be focusing on proving it to myself. Everyone's different. Some people need the support and some people do better on their own. You do what's best for you.

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I never announced my attempt to lose weight to anyone. I told my husband not to bring me any more apple fritters home and he stopped.
Obviously after about 20 pounds lost people started to notice but when asked I just tell them I'm eating healthier (which is true).

OP your wife sounds like a not very supportive spouse. I would call her by a different name but I'm guessing that would be considered rude. It must suck to have such a critical partner.

wow, that sucks! But every great journey or goal to bring about change comes with doubters, haters, and naysayers.

For me, at least starting off in secret suited me as I didn't want the attention or people asking, although I wondered if it was wise to ignore the power of accountability or "tips" from others. It's become less of a secret now I seem to have lost sufficient weight for many people to notice. If asked, I'm not going to lie about it.
It's made me realise how good some people are about noticing small changes in people. The odd person made comments when I'd lost only a small amount of weight. For me, people have to change quite substantially for me to even stand a chance of noticing, and then if I did I'd feel self conscious about commenting in case I got it wrong.