Marriage: Is it worth it?

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Replies

  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    Tell me some good things about being married!

    lulz, try it and find out. It's good if you do it right.
  • friggie
    friggie Posts: 140 Member
    Marriage is AMAZING!!
    I met my now husband when I was 17 yrs old and we fell in love almost immediately. Everyone said we were too young and didn't know what love was.
    Well that was in 1981. I am now almost 50 (next month actually) and we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this past July. Has it all been roses, heck no, but we never gave up on each other. We have struggled financially in the past. I stuck with him when he decided to go back to school and better himself. He was there for me when my Dad passed away. He was there for me when my pregnancy got tough and our daughter was born with a lot of complications for me. He was there for me when I had a terrible car accident that left me in a wheel chair for 6 months. I was there for him when his Dad was diagnosed with Cancer and struggled for a year. We were there for each other when our daughter moved away to go to University. He was there for me when my Mom was diagnosed with Cancer and passed very quickly. We were each others rock when our daughter then graduated University and moved half way across the country for work. I am there for him now as his Mom battles with Cancer and heart problems.

    There is a lot of give and take In a marriage and I think people forget that these days. Too many young people are too selfish and don't know how to share with a partner.
    Our daughter is now in a serious relationship and there is talk of marriage and all we told them both is to make sure its what they both want and are both ready to share their lives with a partner for the rest of their lives.

    So you see Marriage is the best. He is my best friend and I am his. I can't imagine life without him. It is totally worth it, but make sure it's for all the right reasons before hand.
    I have been told that my hubby and I are perfect for each other, his is my yang to my ying so to speak.
    Of all our friends back in the early days, we are the only ones that are still together today, so that says something for us.
    I will tell you this much, if anything happens to him while I am still young there will never be a replacement! He says same thing.
    Love and marriage is amazing!!!
  • just_Jennie1
    just_Jennie1 Posts: 1,233
    My husband is my best friend. We pretty much do everything together and I prefer to spend time with him over anyone else.

    He's the first person I go to when something good or bad happens.

    He's the first person I think of telling when something funny crosses my mind.

    We have been married almost 8 years, together for a total of 17 and have never had an argument. Do we disagree? Yup. But have we ever had a knock down screaming match where we're both really mad at each other and one of us walks out? No freaking way! Why? Because we agree to disagree and the things that he does that annoy me (and vice versa) really, in the grand scheme of things, isn't worth getting upset over. We yell at each other and those "yelling matches" ends in fits of giggles and laughs because it's really ridiculous.

    I can't imagine any one else that I would want to spend my life with and I"m so very happy and blessed that he's in it. We trust each other 100%,we love each other unconditionally and I'm just so grateful that I have him.
    . . . and a legal way to generalize monogamy (which was great a century or two ago).

    ^^ Tell that one to all my friends who are in the lifestyle. They'll tell you a different story. :wink:
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  • allisonrinkel
    allisonrinkel Posts: 224 Member
    Tell me some good things about being married! There seems to be so much bitterness. Or maybe there's a larger concentration of divorced people on MFP. Married people are fat and happy :wink:.

    My husband and I will have been together 12 years in January, married 9.5 years. We have 3 kids. We've had some hard times, periods with lots of fighting over stupid stuff. Having babies is hard on a marriage especially when no one is sleeping. But we've really come to a good place. He supported me (financially and emotionally) through four rough years of grad school. He takes care of the kids when I travel for work. I support him in his endurance mountain bike racing hobby, long training hours, lots of travel for races. The sex is great. The romance and affection are awesome. The kids are at a good stable, less stressful place. We do fun things together as a family, and as a couple. He's a good friend, a good "roommate", a good co-parent, an excellent lover, etc. I don't know. I just really like being married right now.

    :flowerforyou:
    Yeah! I'm happily married too!! Only since September 14, but so what! I hate that sooo many people are downers about marriage. TO EACH THEIR OWN!!! I have gotten a lot of negative feedback about marriage. Its not fair, because there are still a few of us left who waited more than like 3 months of knowing our partners before marrying them.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    If I ever get married, I hope it is similar to my parents' marriage. After 37 years, they are best friends and act like teenagers in love. However, I know a buttload of people who are married and seem completely miserable, but they stay together for the kids. So I guess I'll just see what happens. I have been engaged before, but luckily I ended it before I made a mistake with that particular guy.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    Marriage is AMAZING!!
    I met my now husband when I was 17 yrs old and we fell in love almost immediately. Everyone said we were too young and didn't know what love was.
    Well that was in 1981. I am now almost 50 (next month actually) and we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this past July. Has it all been roses, heck no, but we never gave up on each other. We have struggled financially in the past. I stuck with him when he decided to go back to school and better himself. He was there for me when my Dad passed away. He was there for me when my pregnancy got tough and our daughter was born with a lot of complications for me. He was there for me when I had a terrible car accident that left me in a wheel chair for 6 months. I was there for him when his Dad was diagnosed with Cancer and struggled for a year. We were there for each other when our daughter moved away to go to University. He was there for me when my Mom was diagnosed with Cancer and passed very quickly. We were each others rock when our daughter then graduated University and moved half way across the country for work. I am there for him now as his Mom battles with Cancer and heart problems.

    There is a lot of give and take In a marriage and I think people forget that these days. Too many young people are too selfish and don't know how to share with a partner.
    Our daughter is now in a serious relationship and there is talk of marriage and all we told them both is to make sure its what they both want and are both ready to share their lives with a partner for the rest of their lives.

    So you see Marriage is the best. He is my best friend and I am his. I can't imagine life without him. It is totally worth it, but make sure it's for all the right reasons before hand.
    I have been told that my hubby and I are perfect for each other, his is my yang to my ying so to speak.
    Of all our friends back in the early days, we are the only ones that are still together today, so that says something for us.
    I will tell you this much, if anything happens to him while I am still young there will never be a replacement! He says same thing.
    Love and marriage is amazing!!!

    This is beautiful!! :flowerforyou:
  • gramarye
    gramarye Posts: 586 Member
    Yes. I loved being married until the very end, and I adored my husband. We had a pretty excellent sex life for the most part -- unfortunately, with both each other and other people.

    Despite getting divorced now, I still think marriage is pretty excellent. I wouldn't go back and change my mind about marrying my ex-husband.
  • JHarr454
    JHarr454 Posts: 50 Member
    I love being married. We're in our 14th year. It's great...but choose your partner wisely :)
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    My husband and I have been married a little over 6 years. I love being married. Though we're not newlyweds anymore, we both still feel like we never get enough time together, and we miss each other when we're apart. I love my husband and can't imagine being without him. We have our ups and downs, just like everyone, but that doesn't change how great our marriage is. :heart:
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    Yes. I loved being married until the very end, and I adored my husband. We had a pretty excellent sex life for the most part -- unfortunately, with both each other and other people.

    Despite getting divorced now, I still think marriage is pretty excellent. I wouldn't go back and change my mind about marrying my ex-husband.

    I think you have a great attitude about it! Just because it didn't work out once for you, you know better than to condemn it for yourself and everyone else. It'd be great if more people had your point of view. Just because a few people fall down the stairs doesn't mean stairs are stupid and don't work, lol. :flowerforyou:
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member


    A cohabitation agreement sets out who owns what and in what proportion and lets you document how you will split your property, its contents, personal belongings, savings and other assets should the relationship break down. It can also cover how you will support your children, over and above any legal requirements to maintain them, as well as how you would deal with bank accounts, debts, and joint purchases such as a car.

    TY and sorry for not realizing you are in the UK.

    So one who wanted to protect his/her assets would continue to maintain the "shack up" status and get the milk for free so to speak.
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    Marriage is AMAZING!!
    I met my now husband when I was 17 yrs old and we fell in love almost immediately. Everyone said we were too young and didn't know what love was.
    Well that was in 1981. I am now almost 50 (next month actually) and we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this past July. Has it all been roses, heck no, but we never gave up on each other. We have struggled financially in the past. I stuck with him when he decided to go back to school and better himself. He was there for me when my Dad passed away. He was there for me when my pregnancy got tough and our daughter was born with a lot of complications for me. He was there for me when I had a terrible car accident that left me in a wheel chair for 6 months. I was there for him when his Dad was diagnosed with Cancer and struggled for a year. We were there for each other when our daughter moved away to go to University. He was there for me when my Mom was diagnosed with Cancer and passed very quickly. We were each others rock when our daughter then graduated University and moved half way across the country for work. I am there for him now as his Mom battles with Cancer and heart problems.

    There is a lot of give and take In a marriage and I think people forget that these days. Too many young people are too selfish and don't know how to share with a partner.
    Our daughter is now in a serious relationship and there is talk of marriage and all we told them both is to make sure its what they both want and are both ready to share their lives with a partner for the rest of their lives.

    So you see Marriage is the best. He is my best friend and I am his. I can't imagine life without him. It is totally worth it, but make sure it's for all the right reasons before hand.
    I have been told that my hubby and I are perfect for each other, his is my yang to my ying so to speak.
    Of all our friends back in the early days, we are the only ones that are still together today, so that says something for us.
    I will tell you this much, if anything happens to him while I am still young there will never be a replacement! He says same thing.
    Love and marriage is amazing!!!

    This is beautiful!! :flowerforyou:

    Agreed! This is beautiful.
  • paintlisapurple
    paintlisapurple Posts: 982 Member
    People often mistaken marriage and love. I'm for love. Marriage is just a financial arrangement and a legal way to generalize monogamy (which was great a century or two ago).

    I guess I was talking about the love part. Or the "love and commitment" part, not the "legal and financial" part. Love alone can be fleeting and honestly hard to maintain. You have to be committed to working on it and keeping it alive.

    Absolutely agree with the idea that people who are married need to realize that it is a working commitment to a special partnership. Experiencing the world together, then closing rank when the world threatens to invade is what its all about!
  • sklarbodds
    sklarbodds Posts: 608 Member
    Despite getting divorced now, I still think marriage is pretty excellent. I wouldn't go back and change my mind about marrying my ex-husband.
    Pretty much this for me too.

    I loved my ex with everything I had.

    I am really glad I'm divorced now tho (long story) and I don't hate marriage at all because of it. It was marriage itself that sucked, it was MY marriage that sucked :)
  • SakuraRose13
    SakuraRose13 Posts: 621 Member
    For myself yes my husband and I came from homes where are fathers left our mothers when we were young, My husband and I have been married a little over 2 years but I have know him 11 years now. We had our first daughter before we were married although it complicated getting married a bit harder financially it helped us focus on what really matters the simple things in life. A few weeks after, we married we found out I was pregnant again with our second child. Here we are now with two beautiful little girls 19 months apart and we would change it for anything . I love being married I always felt that it represented for me a family I had no father, so I wanted my children to have a father a real one and a husband who would always be there . Marriage is about spending your life with the one you love its not a piece of paper its so much more .
    I get to spend my life with my best friend , my love and I couldn't be happier , Marriage takes work but its worth it .
    When I'm upset with him its is then I love him a little more, that for me is the true test , when you are having a bad day and it isn't all rosy .

    I m more than happy to be a Mrs. . and no longer a Miss. I was single for some time and I tell you that's not all its cracked up to be, the dating the unknown wondering if someone likes you loves you , so on .

    Id never go back :)
  • Gwen_B
    Gwen_B Posts: 1,018 Member
    Twenty years and three kids later.... Yours looks great compared to mine!!!
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
    I've been married to my husband for 16 years (together for 19).

    He makes every good moment better, every horrible event less painful, and every day less mundane. He makes me laugh. He comforts me, cheers me on and reassures me when I worry. He shares my interests. He brings passion and purpose to my life. My husband is the best!
  • LishLash79
    LishLash79 Posts: 562 Member
    Marriage:
    ~always having someone to share your joys/or sorrows with.
    ~never having to sleep alone
    ~someone who loves to make you smile.
    ~someone to warm you when you're freezing!
    ~someone you'd do anything for- and do anything for you
    ~someone who knows you as well as you know yourself.


    marriage with the right person is a wonderful thing.

    Marriage is a lot of work. The items listed above outline an awesome marriage. But sometimes you can be married and none of these things are a reality. I mean, you can share a bed with someone and still feel alone, and freezing. Sometimes you are married to someone and feel they really don't know you at all.

    Marriage takes a tonne of work. Been married for 15 years, and I have five kids. got married VERY young. Do I regret it, not at all, is it easy, absolutely not. Do I wish I was not married. I have no thoughts on that. ITS HARD. Having kids makes it harder. I would die for my kids.

    thats my piece ;)
  • Animebride2015
    Animebride2015 Posts: 37
    I hope so! This will be my first one!
  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
    Overated... It's not at all like they say it will be on TV.
  • Saucy_lil_Minx
    Saucy_lil_Minx Posts: 3,302 Member
    I too have been with my Hubby 12 years, and 9 married. I would not change a thing, and we both are aware it takes an extraordinary amount of work to keep things together. IT IS A JOB, BUT ONE WORTH DOING!

    However, would I get married again if something happened to this marriage? I had a point in time where my husband was very ill, and I was told I maybe a widow by 30 if he did not change some habits of his. (He was very hard on his body)

    The answer is NO!

    I will never give someone that much control over my life again! For him I did, and do because we've conquered mountains together!

    I can not see anyone topping my love for him.
  • mjharman
    mjharman Posts: 251 Member
    A single friend of mine was given this advice the other day, "There's only one thing worse than being single, and that's being married to the wrong person. Take your time and don't rush it!"

    Excellent advice!

    I have been married for 26 years - to my best friend. And I wouldn't want it any other way. But I know what a bad relationship feels like, I've been there, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!

    For the past 26 years, I have had a rock to lean on. My husband and I have journeyed together through many trials and tribulations. He has held my hand when I needed it, carried me when it was required, and even let me carry him when necessary. When my job required me to relocate, he sold his business and came along for the ride. He has suffered through my years in school, even though he hates that I am there instead of home with him. And yes, he is very supportive of me in my journey to lose weight, never pushing, recognizing that it is my journey. He loves me. I love him. We are good for each other.

    And the best part is that the magic is still there, even after all these years. :heart:

    ~Marsha
  • StinkyWinkies
    StinkyWinkies Posts: 603 Member
    I was married a long time ago, then was happily "not-married" married to a man for 5 years, deliriously so, even though I knew it wasn't going to be "happy ever-after." It wasn't perfect but it was fun and reasons for it not lasting do not detract from that.

    I enjoyed being married, "both times."

    When I was young I hated the very thought of being single "forever" but had I never been married I wouldn't know just how much I enjoy being single. (although, I've been single long enough to get tired of it, a lot)

    I believe there are "perks" and pleasure in both states and we must find our balance in each as well.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    I got a laugh out of this:
    http://dontmarry.wordpress.com/2009/07/23/married-men-post-here-if-you-hate-your-life-2/
  • kayla_who
    kayla_who Posts: 540 Member
    Marriage/common law marriage/ long time committed relationship...

    free sex whenever you want it...
  • bmiller211
    bmiller211 Posts: 222 Member
    Marriage:
    ~always having someone to share your joys/or sorrows with.
    ~never having to sleep alone
    ~someone who loves to make you smile.
    ~someone to warm you when you're freezing!
    ~someone you'd do anything for- and do anything for you
    ~someone who knows you as well as you know yourself.


    marriage with the right person is a wonderful thing.
    well said...My wife and I just celebrated 29 years and I wouldn't change a thing!! Love of my life even when we have a tiff!!
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I met my husband in college. Actually I met him while I was still in high school and was visiting the school overnight as a prospective student (but I had already sent in my acceptance letter). I was in the dining hall, and he ran in and asked if anyone wanted to go white river rafting. I was immediately attracted to him and his personality. I actually said in my head, "I'm going to marry him". When I became a student we started dancing together at a party and then we stayed up all night talking. He wanted to kiss me, but I had decided that I wanted to be friends and get to know him better. I really liked him a lot. But, I was young and not ready to settle down so quickly into a relationship. I just knew that once I was with him, it was going to last. So, we were great friends. And I grew so much as a person through our friendship. After two years I realized how much my attraction had grown and that I was deeply in love with him. I knew all along that he was interested in me and was just waiting for me to say lets get together. The night before his birthday, I made a banner with friends. He didn't know we had a surprise planned, and he felt left out. So, I went to his room and ended up sleeping over. In the morning we went outside (he was going on a morning hike) and he saw the banner wishing him a happy birthday hanging from the bell tower. He picked me up and spun me around. After his birthday party that night, I told him that I loved him. It was his last semester. And we had many adventures. So, I met him 18 years ago (half my life), started dating 16 years ago, This summer will be 14 years of marriage. We are both very happy. We still have an amazing and adventurous sex life (although not outdoors as much as we used to). We have so many shared memories. We make each other laugh, even during disagreements. We support each other through the tough times. We have two daughters.
  • loricshields47
    loricshields47 Posts: 134 Member
    over the past 25 years ~
    there was better and worse
    there was richer and poorer
    there was sickness and health
    there was love honor and cherish ♥
    there was go forth and multiply :)
    there was joy, sorrow, laughter and forgiveness
    there still is

    I could have experienced all those things alone but I was blessed with a best friend who wanted to share ALL of it with me.
    We still hold hands when we are in the car, or on the porch in our rocking chairs. he still brings me roses and he has finally learned to empty the dishwasher :)

    Yes marriage is worth it
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