Parenthood is it worth it?
ldrosophila
Posts: 7,512 Member
in Chit-Chat
To copycat the other posts:
I'm about to give up my 36 some years of carefree childless days in less than two months. I was thinking about some of this things I'll miss such as sleep, being able to travel at the drop of a hat and staying out all night.
What to is it about your kids that makes them so much more special then the days of freedom? Do you miss your freedom? Just want to hear your story about your adorable progeny, and how they've turned your life upside down for the better.
I'm about to give up my 36 some years of carefree childless days in less than two months. I was thinking about some of this things I'll miss such as sleep, being able to travel at the drop of a hat and staying out all night.
What to is it about your kids that makes them so much more special then the days of freedom? Do you miss your freedom? Just want to hear your story about your adorable progeny, and how they've turned your life upside down for the better.
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Replies
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I didn't get much of an adult life minus children lol I had my first at 20... I love love love my kids, but be very happy you had your freedom, I still have at least 15 years before I get mine!! :yawn: <---I miss when sleeping in meant like ten, not like 7 LOL0
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I'll never have children because I don't want to give up the life of a non-parent. I decided this when I was a teen and have stuck to it.0
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The very moment you look your little one in the eyes your former life will disappear and you will wonder why you waited so long. I have three. They are frustrating, sometimes annoying, but the other 95% of the time they bring the greatest joy, wonder, excitement, and love to your world.0
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You miss your freedom, yes... but at the same time, you mature & your priorities change. You don't want the same freedoms you had before kids. Is the tradeoff worth it? Abosultely.0
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I couldn't imagine my world without my son. Sure there's somethings to miss, but what a great trade off to have this amazing little person in your life (okay my kid is a teenager now and not so little - about a foot taller than me!). So worth it!0
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I adore my boys so much. I am a divorced mother so I have some time when my boys are with their father....and I do take advantage of the time to have a bit of me time but I miss them like crazy too! And I always say all is right with the world when they're back home with me. They do put so much in perspective. As long as we're all healthy, we're good. I rarely sleep past 7, meals are not often hot when I'm with them and the saying cleaning with kids around is like shoveling during a snowstorm is very accurate....but I wouldn't trade it for the world. They have already grown so fast...and I know they will be out of the house before I know it!0
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Soo.. I assume this is done deal, right? You're not asking if you *should* have kids, you have an impending kid, no turning back?
If so.. it's AWESOME. Totally worth it!! So hard but fabulous.
(But for those of you reading that are just considering having kids.. run. run away. fast. do not look back.) Just kidding. Sort of.0 -
Cheap entertainment. Also you get to play with toys again and no one looks at you funny.0
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I'll never have children because I don't want to give up the life of a non-parent. I decided this when I was a teen and have stuck to it.
ditto. my mom actually says that while she wouldn't trade my brother or i for anything, she really wishes she didn't cave to the pressure to have kids.0 -
Every day.0
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Wouldn't trade it for the world. As exciting as pre-kid adult life was, it was torturously boring compared to life with kids.
Rigger0 -
Soo.. I assume this is done deal, right? You're not asking if you *should* have kids, you have an impending kid, no turning back?
If so.. it's AWESOME. Totally worth it!! So hard but fabulous.
(But for those of you reading that are just considering having kids.. run. run away. fast. do not look back.) Just kidding. Sort of.
LOL no turning back this acrobat is getting close to making a debut.0 -
I'll never have children because I don't want to give up the life of a non-parent. I decided this when I was a teen and have stuck to it.
ditto. my mom actually says that while she wouldn't trade my brother or i for anything, she really wishes she didn't cave to the pressure to have kids.
I was this way for a long time didnt have that desire, but for me when 29 hit I knew what the meant by a biological clock. TICK TOCK TICK TOCK!0 -
I didn't have my first until I was 32. I never planned on having kids because of the freedom I had. Like a previous poster stated, once you see their face and look into their eyes, it surpasses any other feeling of joy you have ever felt. There is nothing in my non-parent life that has ever compared to having my little man. He makes me laugh, and I mean belly laugh, every single day since he was born. Those laughs and his tight little hugs make parenthood totally worth it:)0
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There are a lot of things I miss about life before kids, but they're the only people in the world who can drive me almost to the brink of sanity, yet I miss them like crazy the minute they're not right with me. Plus, they make me laugh every day.0
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The best part of having children is that one day you will have grandchildren, and that is when the fun begins!!
I love my boys and I am very happy that I had them because they made the bond with my husband much stronger. Yes, they were a pain, specially during their teens ( I am sooo happy that those days are over), but they are great human beings, husbands and fathers. So everything was worthy.
Good luck with your little one; you will fall in love as soon as he is in your arms.0 -
The fun of freedom is so not even close to the unspeakable joy of being called "Mama". I wish I'd given up a few years of freedom and started sooner. I adore, love, worship and cherish my little boy every second of every day, even when he's being obnoxious. I can hardly wait to give him brothers and sisters!0
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I'll never have children because I don't want to give up the life of a non-parent. I decided this when I was a teen and have stuck to it.
This.0 -
What I lost in terms of freedom I have gotten back a hundredfold in fulfillment, love, joy, and purpose. There are certainly hard times but they don't compare to the moments when one of them spontaneously throws their little arms around me and tells me they love me. And so, while I adore naptime, there's nothing quite like the laughter and happiness my three little ones bring into my life. Totally worth it.0
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You literally cannot explain the sheer joy you feel as a parent when coming home after a long $hitty day and the minute you walk in the door your 2 year-old Screams "DADDY! (or MOMMY!) and runs full speed across the room to throw themselves at you in a big hug.
My wife and I tag-teamed a soul-crushingly long 9 months of a baby who didn't sleep through the night, switching off with the kid, first for bottles, then for crying over lost pacifiers and blankets.
None of those nights sleeping on the floor while they were teething and miserable matter when you go to leave or put them to bed and they say 'Love you Daddy, me kisses?" and "Twinkle Star Please?"0 -
Yep, knew reading your stories would cause a few tears.0
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Smart *kitten*-ery aside, ;0) I'm a mom of 4 but I started young and gave up my freedom by 25. I do love my kids, but not sure I'd do that again. My husband and I only had a very few short years before our relationship went from being all about us to all about them. I think that was really the hardest part.
I *adored* my babies as babies. I was a great baby mom. Toddlers and preschoolers were tough for me because I'm not the most patient person in the world and human beings that are obstinate and unreasonable 95% of their waking hours are difficult to manage for impatient people. Now that everyone can speak in full sentences and control their bodily functions (ages 8 to 14), we get along pretty well. Although I maintain that sibling bickering is the definition of hell and I probably would have been a bang up mom if I'd stopped at one.
The sleep deprivation sucks balls but holidays are a lot more fun. Traveling will blow for a decade. I'd advise you to skip it all together and save your money for a friggin' FANTASTIC vacation when the kid turns 10 or 12. The toys are fun. Your photography will improve (because kids inherently look cute in pictures) until they hit the awkward tween stage. Go to the grocery store ALONE, even if that means you go at 1 a.m. Don't stop having sex, even if it's just quickies for the next four years. Don't buy goldfish because those g*da*n things are addictive and have 100,000 calories per handful.
I think that's it. Enjoy.0 -
Soo.. I assume this is done deal, right? You're not asking if you *should* have kids, you have an impending kid, no turning back?
If so.. it's AWESOME. Totally worth it!! So hard but fabulous.
(But for those of you reading that are just considering having kids.. run. run away. fast. do not look back.) Just kidding. Sort of.
:laugh:0 -
I didn't become a father (at least that I know of.....) until I was almost 40, despite the grey hairs & wrinkles caused by my kids I wouldn't change a thing.
My son turned 18 this year & my daughter will be 16 tomorrow. Watching them go from being helpless little blobs of humanity to funny, bright, articulate (sometimes too articulate), caring human beings has been the greatest adventure of my life.0 -
No.0
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We are struggling with whether to have a third (currently have 18-month-old twins), and the problem with this decision is that you can't make it logically. There is a long, long "con" list, mostly involving freedom and money and convenience, and only two things on the "pro" side:
1) Less chance you'll end up alone and neglected as an old person
2) A completely intangible thing that you cannot put into words, cannot explain to non-parents, cannot even really explain to yourself. It's totally different than anything else in my life and it's so good that it can make you consider having more even when both of your 18-month-olds are crying and you desperately need sleep and someone just pooped AGAIN. All that stuff passes. But this love, man - it's forever. And it's bigger than anything you ever imagined.
(Edited to add: I do not think everyone should have children. It's great if you're with the right person or just want children and have the love and resources to spare. I'd never tell someone that they SHOULD have children - and don't believe you need them to be happy or fulfilled - but if you're on the fence because of all those practical cons - I do say go for it.)0 -
I never wanted children for some of the reasons posted. My marriage was not well-thought out, as my husband very much wanted children. Children, as far as I was concerned, were yet another thing for ME to deal with in this particular relationship--that is, he wants the theory, I get all the application. I was/am not wrong in that assessment. HOWEVER:
I've been solo parenting for 8 years and am absolutely confident that my boy is better off as is than he would be with the irresponsible person that is his father in his life.
Is parenthood worth it?? Damn straight.0 -
I'll never have children because I don't want to give up the life of a non-parent. I decided this when I was a teen and have stuck to it.
ditto. my mom actually says that while she wouldn't trade my brother or i for anything, she really wishes she didn't cave to the pressure to have kids.
Me too! My husband and I might think about it later (we're only 26 and 27 right now and wouldn't even consider it until early to mid 30's), but for right now, I can't imagine it. School, work, moving around (military). I'll stick to animals for now and just babysit my nieces and nephews! I used to get the pressure until my they came along. Now I can just spoil!0 -
my kids are insaine, and have caused me to lose IQ points, my mind, money, and a clean house... i wouldent give them up for anything though... allthough i wouldent mind a night off sometime(or the chance to pee alone)... i havent not had one of them with in 5 feet of me for about 6 months now... we would love a date night ... anyone know a babysiter?0
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DD: "I love you Mommy."
Me: "I love you MORE".
DD: "No, I love you more."
Me: "Sweetie, you can't imagine just how much Mommy loves you until you have a baby of your own."
So worth it!0
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