Marriage: Is it worth it?

Options
1235789

Replies

  • jhmomofmany
    jhmomofmany Posts: 571 Member
    Options
    We have been married 18 years, together for 20. We've had lots of ups and downs, and without hesitation I would say "I do" again a million times over.
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
    Options
    We have been married 18 years, together for 20. We've had lots of ups and downs, and without hesitation I would say "I do" again a million times over.
    Aww, that is the sweetest thing ever :)


    Anyway, to me it will be ;)
  • Tennessee2019
    Tennessee2019 Posts: 676 Member
    Options
    I have been married for going on 22 years. He is my best friend & my rock. We have 2 kids (one is his step-child) who always know that they could rely on us for anything, but are learning how to live their own lives without much assistance from us. Our biggest issue has always been $$$ but our marriage has always been strong, no matter what the bank account says.
    There is a plaque in our room that sums it up beautifully: With tiny tears that glistened, my eyes were fixed on you. Our hearts were knit together from the time that we first met, and the memories were gathered that we will never forget. While daily living life with you, you saw the real me & still you accepted me. With many happy times gone by and others when we cried, some days we'd share so endlessly and other days we'd hide. With all the ups & downs we've had in learning to be friends, I know that in this heart of mine I'd marry you again." This plaque is one that I found, but we both agree with what it says.
  • grandpoobah12
    grandpoobah12 Posts: 138
    Options
    If it wasn't for marriages then I would be an unemployed gal.
    So I am thankful to all the people who get married.
    :tongue: :tongue:

    Are you a divorce lawyer? Marriage or not marriage. Finding a partner who loves you and you love is great. Being happy is a choice.
  • KaiteeKarrot
    KaiteeKarrot Posts: 50
    Options
    "That's love though, not marriage." <--- I like that. And I agree with it.
  • AlyssasDiet
    AlyssasDiet Posts: 120
    Options
    Marriage is worth it if you want to be married....(and want to stay married.) Some people shouldn't get married, some people should. It's up to the individual. I can't stand when people say "I don't believe in marriage"....that's weird because I promise it exists. :laugh: I love being married, I wouldn't give it up for the world. I love my husband and I never understood dating. That all being said, the only real difference between being married and just being committed to a person w/o being married is the legal aspect. I lived with my husband for over a year before we got married and nothing changed.(Edit: Nothing changed after we got married.) I think that if everything will change by you getting married, it's probably not worth it to get married. It should feel natural.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    Options
    I'm divorced and I think marriage is a beautiful thing. I am kind of an old soul and tear up watching movies like UP and their marriage...and adventure (good and bad that came)....and would love to find something that endures that long. My ex-husband and I were never suited. Looking back I knew that very early on...but I was a different person then.

    And with the right person....even the simple things are great and fulfilling. I believe in that and hope to get it some day. I want go be old and gray with someone. :laugh:
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    Options
    I've been married to my husband for 25 yrs. Been together for 27 yrs. Marriage is what you make it. In the beginning of our marriage I had an unrealistic idea of what I wanted my marriage to be (too much romatic stuff i saw on TV) I realized life and marriage doesnt work that way.

    Now I have learned marriage is Loving the person enough to compromise so the other is happy. Being willing to accept your faults and willing to make a change for the better of the marriage. COMMUNICATE often even if you have to make your husband communicate with you. Most men do not like to talk about problems in the hopes it will go away. It doesnt go away unless you talk. Never go to bed angry. Respect each other. Allow each other to grow and support each other! When I rise you rise when I fall you fall. If I make money we both benefit together.

    My husband is my best friend and we genuinely enjoy each other! He is my soul mate!

    Oh and iron out all the fundemental stuff before you even say I do!! I alleviates any problems later on!! COMMUNICATE
  • markink81
    markink81 Posts: 73 Member
    Options
    A big resounding YES from me. I have been married to my bride for 27 years. .

    Has it all been a bed of roses...heck no! but anything worth while takes work. Communication is key with all relationships and that means listening and understanding what the other persons needs and desires are and then working it out.. So for me, I wouldn't change a thing It's been a blessing to have my best friend by my side.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    Options
    I love being married. In fact, I'm puzzled by a lot of things others often say about it. Especially that it's only good/important/necessary for people who want to create a family with children. I think it's also great for those of us who are childfree by choice!! I love feeling like a two-person family unit with my partner, and having the world recognize us as such.

    I'm 37 and have been married twice. After my divorce, I knew I'd marry again! I love that kind of long-term committed relationship. I just figured it would be a lot more time in between marriages LOL. I expected to marry again in a decade, but not in 2 years.

    My past marriage was very good. We were a nice partnership and got along well.

    My current marriage is 100 times more awesome. We are a nice partnership and get along well. We're also fascinated by each other, motivated by each other, and can't keep our hands off one another.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    Options
    My past marriage was very good. We were a nice partnership and got along well.

    My current marriage is 100 times more awesome. We are a nice partnership and get along well. We're also fascinated by each other, motivated by each other, and can't keep our hands off one another.

    I am confused...if the first marriage "My past marriage was very good. We were a nice partnership and got along well. " then why did you divorce?

    It's none of my business I was just confused by your statement.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Options
    My past marriage was very good. We were a nice partnership and got along well.

    My current marriage is 100 times more awesome. We are a nice partnership and get along well. We're also fascinated by each other, motivated by each other, and can't keep our hands off one another.

    I am confused...if the first marriage "My past marriage was very good. We were a nice partnership and got along well. " then why did you divorce?

    It's none of my business I was just confused by your statement.

    I'm thinking the very last statement might be the answer.
  • NZhellkat
    NZhellkat Posts: 355 Member
    Options
    I had no intentions of marrying my second husband. Unhappily married to the first for too long. We had just helped our friends celebrate 25 years of unwedded bliss. And we were determined to outlast them. Yet here we are about to celebrate 3 years of marriage at the end of this year. Although it was not what either of us planned, we are both very happy that we are together. Marriage is the least important thing about our relationship. It is all based on love, trust, time together, time apart, and most importantly.....behaving like adults. Yup I'm finally in an adult relationship and it constantly amazes me, surprises and humbles me. All of that and more are way more important then the piece of paper that says we are man and wife. Just some of my thoughts.
  • chell53
    chell53 Posts: 356 Member
    Options
    Yes Yes Yes.......I have been with my husband for 42 years, married 39 of them......not saying it was all good, but I would do it all over again. Getting ready to celebrate our 40th in March and headed to Hawaii.

    The key is to talk about everything, no secrets
  • j0705
    j0705 Posts: 185
    Options
    Marriage/common law marriage/ long time committed relationship...

    free sex whenever you want it...


    obviously you have never been any of the above HAHA!

    marraige is a good way of showing a level of commitment to the partnership you have entered into and yes i think some make more effort at the relationship if they are married... imo and experience you dont need to get married, ive been with my hubby 20yr, we comitted to each other when he proposed marriage 6 weeks after we met.. we were engaged 16 yr before we got wed,.. it is just legal paperwork now. i wish we had done it when we met because it really wasnt what we had dreamed and made us both reconsider our commitments and how we felt about eachother
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    Options
    My past marriage was very good. We were a nice partnership and got along well.

    My current marriage is 100 times more awesome. We are a nice partnership and get along well. We're also fascinated by each other, motivated by each other, and can't keep our hands off one another.

    I am confused...if the first marriage "My past marriage was very good. We were a nice partnership and got along well. " then why did you divorce?

    It's none of my business I was just confused by your statement.

    *nods* I can understand your confusion.

    I explained this earlier today in a different thread, which is kind of a funny coincidence as I must be extra reflective today...I honestly don't think/talk about my divorce much these days! Anyway...I hope you don't mind but I'm gonna cut and paste that here:

    "I wasn't in a horrible terrible marriage. I was in a marriage that lacked love, passion, and excitement. It lasted for 9.5 years and I probably would have stayed in it permanently, and been happy in a half-a**ed way for my whole life. My ex husband was a nice, funny, smart guy and we generally got along. We doted on our dog, made a good dual income, and watched BBC America and shopped for furniture. Did we have regular sex? Nope. Did we really cherish and adore one another? Not any more so than our other good friends. Did we need to actually stay married? NO, and I'm so glad that he realized that and brought the issues to light instead of living this mediocre life.

    Now I am remarried to a man who is truly my partner, lover, etc. He is amazing and makes me feel so wanted and loved and fantastic. I am no longer holding back my feelings, emotions, or sexuality. I know we are on the same page with so many things in life and it's amazing to have a mate with the same kind of positive attitude and high level of energy that I have. I didn't even realize how much my ex was holding back, or in how many different ways! Just in the past two years I've experienced more new & exciting things in life than I did with my ex husband in a decade.

    Honestly in some ways life's harder. I don't have the same level of financial security I once did. We argue sometimes. I never argued with my ex, really. But am I happier? 110% YES"
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
    Options
    Marriage sounds wonderful...for other people. Someone else can have my Mr. Right, I'm good on my own, thanks. :bigsmile:
  • j0705
    j0705 Posts: 185
    Options
    My past marriage was very good. We were a nice partnership and got along well.

    My current marriage is 100 times more awesome. We are a nice partnership and get along well. We're also fascinated by each other, motivated by each other, and can't keep our hands off one another.

    I am confused...if the first marriage "My past marriage was very good. We were a nice partnership and got along well. " then why did you divorce?

    It's none of my business I was just confused by your statement.

    *nods* I can understand your confusion.

    I explained this earlier today in a different thread, which is kind of a funny coincidence as I must be extra reflective today...I honestly don't think/talk about my divorce much these days! Anyway...I hope you don't mind but I'm gonna cut and paste that here:

    "I wasn't in a horrible terrible marriage. I was in a marriage that lacked love, passion, and excitement. It lasted for 9.5 years and I probably would have stayed in it permanently, and been happy in a half-a**ed way for my whole life. My ex husband was a nice, funny, smart guy and we generally got along. We doted on our dog, made a good dual income, and watched BBC America and shopped for furniture. Did we have regular sex? Nope. Did we really cherish and adore one another? Not any more so than our other good friends. Did we need to actually stay married? NO, and I'm so glad that he realized that and brought the issues to light instead of living this mediocre life.

    Now I am remarried to a man who is truly my partner, lover, etc. He is amazing and makes me feel so wanted and loved and fantastic. I am no longer holding back my feelings, emotions, or sexuality. I know we are on the same page with so many things in life and it's amazing to have a mate with the same kind of positive attitude and high level of energy that I have. I didn't even realize how much my ex was holding back, or in how many different ways! Just in the past two years I've experienced more new & exciting things in life than I did with my ex husband in a decade.

    Honestly in some ways life's harder. I don't have the same level of financial security I once did. We argue sometimes. I never argued with my ex, really. But am I happier? 110% YES"


    Thats interesting actually .. got me thinking about what a friend of mine said, the point is that you now feel alive and more importantly happy :)
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    Options
    It's just a piece of paper.

    no, its much more than a piece of paper. its a committment, before family, friends, (GOD) and to eachother. its vowing to give your self to one another, for better or worse, and even when the grass starts dying, or not as green, you honor your committment, and find a way to make the grass grow again, to make it greener. much more than a piece of paper. thats like not allowing your child a birthday party, because its just a date on a calendar...
  • kdhamner
    kdhamner Posts: 309 Member
    Options
    I have been married for 16 years. I feel extremely blessed. My husband is my best friend. We have had rough patches, but we worked through them together and enjoy life with one another. We have two teenage children (14 and 13 years old) that we are doing our best to raise to be strong, independent adults. For me, YES, marriage is definitely worth it!

Categories