Marriage: Is it worth it?

Depends on what you want. A figurative ball and chain that you cannot detach from without losing half (or more) of your assets OR a significant other that you can leave and keep your assets I'm a total pessimist and believe that one or both parties in a relationship are eventually going to do something to warrant a separation. The reason my grandparents are still together after 40 something years is because they put up with one another's nonsense and/or turn a blind eye. I for one am completely unwilling to "put up" with any nonsense from a partner.
Then you have marriage... which derived from religious ceremony (according to anthropology). Marriage has some good qualities but in today's America, boys and girls are being raised in a society that promotes lying, cheating, stealing, and violence through TV, movies, and music. I can't expect someone to be honest anymore, so how could I expect someone to be faithful?

Wow. So jaded for someone so young. I'm sorry you haven't had good examples in your life. I don't raise my children to support lying, cheating, stealing or violence (and the TV doesn't raise them either). Yes, some people lie, but I honestly believe that "most" people are good honest people. I definitely believe my husband is, or I wouldn't have married him. My grandparents stayed together 60 years because they loved each other and supported each other. It wasn't easy (we found divorce papers, signed but never filed, when we cleaned out their house) but at the end they were each others everything. My grandfather was crushed when she died first, calling her his "bride" at the funeral.

Young, yes. Jaded, ehh not generally. I'm just pessimistic when it comes to human behavior, more specifically honesty and morality. To clarify, I didn't mean that the media raises our kids even though I made it sound that way! lol What I meant is that our social behavior is 100% learned and people are just not raising their children like they used to. Media, politics, and finance (the only 3 coming to mind at this moment) are consumed in lies. Ok, so your kids aren't exposed to dishonesty but eventually they will be exposed to people who were.... It's a snowball effect. Even if we raise our kids to have morals and be honest, we can't usually shield them from all outside influences. I've absolutely never known my mother to lie and so I believe that it is possible to be honest. I Just can't EXPECT it anymore, at least with my generation. I am positive that there are honest, benevolent people in this world but I don't necessarily want to take any more chances with my emotional or intimate stability. I learned my lesson after 3 years of having "faith".
I'm sorry to hear about your loss and it's great that they had a good life together

The first point I wanted to make was that married or not, your assets can still be at stake. I am in Canada, but I am aware that many states also recognize common law in the same respect so the fact you aren't legally married isn't exactly a factor. Now, tax wise, etc, it may be a different story. I'm talking asset wise.

The other point, I do see your point. I am pretty cynical. In my line of work, I see the worst of people on a daily basis. I deal with break ups on a regular basis. I see a lot of the bad stuff, the lying, cheating, etc. I prefer to think that there is still hope, that there are relationships like some have described here but its hard when you see so much, like how bad are the odds stacked against me. I am still a newlywed so I guess time will tell with me. I know most people don't go into it with the idea of breaking up and we have made that committment to each other. I love my husband. I can't imagine anyone else who I could spend my life with. He gets me, my good, but more importantly, my bad. We are best friends, as trite as that sounds, however, marriage still scares me.

I really don't know the laws for each state regarding common law (and I know nothing about Cananda's) however my sister in Ohio lived with a man for 17+- years and they were legally married under common law. When they split, they just moved into separate houses. No divorce, no mediation... I'm not positive how that works but I don't think it is as concrete as an actual marriage certificate.
I wish you and your husband the best of luck and perpetual happiness!

Tell me some good things about being married!

It needn't be a life sentence. Made the mistake once, got betrayed, won't be making the mistake again

I have mixed feelings. I got married at 18 and had my daughter three months after turning 20. I feel like I made some really life altering decisions before I was capable of understanding all of their ramifications. My husband and I have grown so much in almost 10 years, but we don't seem to be growing together, if not in different directions.

I cant help but think if I had waited, would I have done things differently? Should I have given myself more time to learn about myself, the world, other people? I love my husband so much in the way that he is my closest family member, I never want to see him hurt, I want to help him in any endeavor that he pursues, I want him to be happy.

But am I "in love" with him?.... not really sure.

Tell me some good things about being married!

It needn't be a life sentence. Made the mistake once, got betrayed, won't be making the mistake again

So, because one person "betrayed" you, then all others would naturally do the same? :huh: