My Pointless Soapbox

Honestly, I have tried to refute your argument a few times now but keep stumbling. I think that you are, for the most part, correct. I have even tried to "soften my tone" when offering people advice on the forums and avoiding being overly critical. Except in the cases of someone who is promoting an unsafe method to another or telling another that X is the only way to do Y.


However, you have to understand the frustration that comes along with helping people on MFP. A small group of people here try to promote ways of eating that are backed by science and are constantly trying to educate those who are ignorant of nutrition. Because they are going against the "common wisdom" of dieting, they get a lot of unwarranted angst from people who call them rude, haters, and various other nasty names. Also, the same threads are posted over and over again, multiple times per day, with few users actually paying attention to the thread three lines down and instead posting an identical thread above it. And this is despite several excellent stickied threads that would have answered their questions.

It is frustrating, to say the least, to have to keep repeating the same information and refuting the same information over and over again to a user base who, largely, does not appreciate it or pass on what they have learned.

Have you had much success with this method of bending people to your will?

None at all. I knew it was pointless when I started, that's why I labeled it pointless.

However, if I suddenly started to grow some charisma and ability to influence people, I'd probably just use it for evil. Like convincing Spain that they should send me a pound of Manchego every month for free.

You hear me Spain!? I DEMAND CHEESE!

As for what brought you to this revelation in the first place, I to some extent agree with the other group you were in. Until you've spent 7 hours on an airplane with a huge man beside you that overflows into your seat you really can't appreciate that someone of that size should have been made to pay for the 1.5 seats he was taking up. I can add that he also smelled bad. The fact that you've allowed yourself to get too big to fit into average sized transportation doesn't mean the rest of the world has to make allowances for you. I'll admit I'm one of those meanies.

I was not even bothered by the opinion that obese people should pay more for transportation. It is the persistent and often repeated belief that every fat person is a lazy, useless frack who can't be bothered to do anything for themselves other than shoving endless amounts of food in their fat mouths that gets to me. There is a fat-hate post on that site almost daily.

Do you know how many fat people I know who genuinely DON'T care? Let's just say very few. Most are trying, and failing, and trying, and failing, and sometimes succeeding and then failing again and needing to start over. Lord knows that's been me several times.

People don't do the Master Cleanse because they think it sounds like fun. They do it because they are DESPERATE for something that will help them change. You know it won't work. *I* know it won't work...but they cling to that hope because they need to believe that SOMETHING will work for them and they don't believe in themselves enough to take the steps to make a more lasting change.

A person driven by all the hurt and self-loathing generated by how they are treated because they are fat to lose weight, signs up for a site in the hopes that they can finally obtain that ideal standard of fitness and beauty, and when try, they actually TRY to do something to change themselves, they can't catch a break. They still get caught up in the same vicious criticism that drove them to lose weight.

The mistaken assumption behind your post is that you think the world cares about your weight as a separate thing. We only care about your weight as it pertains to your health and fitness. Carrying too high a body fat percentage is unhealthy and likely to shorten your life. Losing weight too quickly is unhealthy and likely to shorten your life. We just want you to be healthy and stick around with us longer. This may include losing weight, but primarily it involves eating healthy foods in proper amounts and being more active. The weight loss ought to be a symptom of the change in behavior. NOT the primary focus. The primary focus should be that you feel better, that your doctor says good things about your cholesterol and insulin levels, that you can still run around with your kids/grand kids when you are in your 60s.
Forget weight loss. Start focusing on being healthier, lifting more,eating better, running faster, feeling firmer, etc...
We don't care what your scale says about you. We just love you and want you to be here with us and healthy for as long as possible!

Most of an OP states some ridiculous fad diet they are going to do hoping that others will be doing the same ridiculous fad diet and bolster them up with how great it is. They get told that the ridiculous fad diet is a ridiculous fad diet and they get all bent out of shape because this site is for support and we're being mean. It usually breaks down from there. It isn't very often that the "meanies" come out until the OP starts trying to defend the ridiculous fad diet.

As for what brought you to this revelation in the first place, I to some extent agree with the other group you were in. Until you've spent 7 hours on an airplane with a huge man beside you that overflows into your seat you really can't appreciate that someone of that size should have been made to pay for the 1.5 seats he was taking up. I can add that he also smelled bad. The fact that you've allowed yourself to get too big to fit into average sized transportation doesn't mean the rest of the world has to make allowances for you. I'll admit I'm one of those meanies.

A person driven by all the hurt and self-loathing generated by how they are treated because they are fat to lose weight, signs up for a site in the hopes that they can finally obtain that ideal standard of fitness and beauty, and when try, they actually TRY to do something to change themselves, they can't catch a break. They still get caught up in the same vicious criticism that drove them to lose weight.

The mistaken assumption behind your post is that you think the world cares about your weight as a separate thing. We only care about your weight as it pertains to your health and fitness. Carrying too high a body fat percentage is unhealthy and likely to shorten your life. Losing weight too quickly is unhealthy and likely to shorten your life. We just want you to be healthy and stick around with us longer. This may include losing weight, but primarily it involves eating healthy foods in proper amounts and being more active. The weight loss ought to be a symptom of the change in behavior. NOT the primary focus. The primary focus should be that you feel better, that your doctor says good things about your cholesterol and insulin levels, that you can still run around with your kids/grand kids when you are in your 60s.
Forget weight loss. Start focusing on being healthier, lifting more,eating better, running faster, feeling firmer, etc...
We don't care what your scale says about you. We just love you and want you to be here with us and healthy for as long as possible!

The one thing I always see in threads like this that makes me laugh the most is the assertion that "mean people" are just mean because "it's the internet and they are saying things they wouldn't say in real life."

In my life experience, I have met very few people in life who act differently in real life than they do on the internet. If you think people are acting way differently online than they would in person, that kind of says a lot more about how you act online, not everyone else.

I don't act or speak any differently if I'm talking to someone online, through a text message, or face to face. I assume, based on my actions and the people around me, that most everyone else acts the same. If you think differently, I would probably guess you act differently online than in real life, and what does that say about you?

Sorry I couldn't read entire post, just because it is so painful. I do believe those who criticize over weight people will become overweight at some point in their life so that they can learn, what its like.

cliff notes:

stop fat bashing..

the internet is mean ..

and if you call someone out for starvation diet you are being mean and inconsiderate...

and in...for the meanies..

Your cliff notes are inaccurate. In my original post AND in several follow up posts I encouraged people to offer guidance to those who are making unhealthy choices. Calling someone out is not the same thing as calling someone names, the latter of which is what I am protesting.

I read articles and nutrition studies in my free time to both learn and pass on the knowledge. I can get you started if you would like.

I would like that. I find a lot of the information on the forums is contradictory. Example: Starvation Mode. I see a post about it every day and some people post studies that show that it is a thing, and some people post studies that show that starvation mode can't happen to an obese person and then there is anecdotal evidence out the wazoo that support both claims. Me? I have no clue.