My Pointless Soapbox
Replies
-
As for what brought you to this revelation in the first place, I to some extent agree with the other group you were in. Until you've spent 7 hours on an airplane with a huge man beside you that overflows into your seat you really can't appreciate that someone of that size should have been made to pay for the 1.5 seats he was taking up. I can add that he also smelled bad. The fact that you've allowed yourself to get too big to fit into average sized transportation doesn't mean the rest of the world has to make allowances for you. I'll admit I'm one of those meanies.
I agree 100%... and it wasn't that long ago that I was close to needing to pay for 2 seats on an airplane. If a person is so large that they can not fit into a single "spot", then they should pay for the extra room. It isn't fair to the person next to them who is losing space that THEY paid for.
^^This.
I ride the Park and Ride, daily, and I've grown quite frustrated with big people sitting partially in MY seat and resting their big arms on me. I understand that it's disheartening to realize that you require two seats due to your size, but it is a simple truth. I don't know what the answer is beyond mortifying people with width requirements, though?
But yeah...as for this post, I see both sides of the issue. People do need help and support, and we should be respectful of that. However, patience runs thin when you see the same posts over and over. It still doesn't mean that people should be rude to them. It's much easier to request that they search MFP prior to posting, which isn't the first thing we all think of in the beginning and honestly, I think people post because they want specific attention to what they believe is a specific situation, but don't realize how common it really is. *Speaking from experience.*0 -
I just Googled what TLDR was.....learn something new every day.0
-
I agree with the sentiment of your post, but I'm really here to say that I
you for the use of the word "fracking." :happy: :happy: :happy: 0 -
...but even if you can't win, it doesn't mean it's not worth trying, right?
That's not true. There is no point in my son's lacrosse team trying. Because they can't win.
:noway:
See? Now that was rude.
Funny, though. Mostly because it doesn't affect me. Yes, I'll admit that.
Rude, in what way? Perhaps it's rude to post off topic.... but I see nothing rude about a factual statement, regarding my son's lacrosse team. There is no point in them trying, because they can't win.0 -
I agree with the sentiment of your post, but I'm really here to say that I you for the use of the word "fracking." :happy: :happy: :happy:
Thanks! Your tattoo is awesome!
....I'd be tempted to press it to see if it turns you on though.0 -
I agree with the sentiment of your post, but I'm really here to say that I you for the use of the word "fracking." :happy: :happy: :happy:
Thanks! Your tattoo is awesome!
....I'd be tempted to press it to see if it turns you on though.
LOL, you wouldn't be the first one.0 -
So . . . scale of 1 to 10 . . . how close are we to resolving this issue?0
-
- 10So . . . scale of 1 to 10 . . . how close are we to resolving this issue?0 -
The thing that bothers me when I see fat-bashing is that people wouldn't DARE say it to somebody in person... they hide behind the veil of internet-anonymity and say whatever they want. There is no disputing that being severely overweight, or even mildly overweight comes with health concerns, but there is a right and wrong way to approach somebody you care about and talk to them about their weight. I don't think any stranger has any right to bash somebody they don't know because of their weight. It's none of their business.0
-
cliff notes:
stop fat bashing..
the internet is mean ..
and if you call someone out for starvation diet you are being mean and inconsiderate...
and in...for the meanies..
Your cliff notes are inaccurate. In my original post AND in several follow up posts I encouraged people to offer guidance to those who are making unhealthy choices. Calling someone out is not the same thing as calling someone names, the latter of which is what I am protesting.
I stand corrected starvation diet critique is OK as long as it is done in a tasteful, positive, encouraging, non-mean, non-abusive, and in no way causes anyone to feel but hurt....0 -
- 10So . . . scale of 1 to 10 . . . how close are we to resolving this issue?
Awesome, so we're right about where we always are and I didn't miss anything. :drinker:0 -
cliff notes:
stop fat bashing..
the internet is mean ..
and if you call someone out for starvation diet you are being mean and inconsiderate...
and in...for the meanies..
Your cliff notes are inaccurate. In my original post AND in several follow up posts I encouraged people to offer guidance to those who are making unhealthy choices. Calling someone out is not the same thing as calling someone names, the latter of which is what I am protesting.
I stand corrected starvation diet critique is OK as long as it is done in a tasteful, positive, encouraging, non-mean, non-abusive, and in no way causes anyone to feel but hurt....
0 -
Honestly, I have tried to refute your argument a few times now but keep stumbling. I think that you are, for the most part, correct. I have even tried to "soften my tone" when offering people advice on the forums and avoiding being overly critical. Except in the cases of someone who is promoting an unsafe method to another or telling another that X is the only way to do Y.
However, you have to understand the frustration that comes along with helping people on MFP. A small group of people here try to promote ways of eating that are backed by science and are constantly trying to educate those who are ignorant of nutrition. Because they are going against the "common wisdom" of dieting, they get a lot of unwarranted angst from people who call them rude, haters, and various other nasty names. Also, the same threads are posted over and over again, multiple times per day, with few users actually paying attention to the thread three lines down and instead posting an identical thread above it. And this is despite several excellent stickied threads that would have answered their questions.
It is frustrating, to say the least, to have to keep repeating the same information and refuting the same information over and over again to a user base who, largely, does not appreciate it or pass on what they have learned.
but nobody is asking you to repeat yourselves over and over again, I presume you reply to topics out of CHOICE. If you find it frustrating, why bother?
Because -I- actually care about people and want to see them achieve their weight management and fitness goals. That is why -I- spend several hours per day answering questions, reading research to advance my knowledge, and reaching out to people privately to steer them in a healthy direction.
Because without people like me, this entire website would be devoted to the evils of sugar, carbs, fats and how all women should do ultra high rep weight lifting or pilates to lengthen and tone their muscles. People with EDs would run rampant, and MFP would essentially turn into the opium den of nutrition sites.
That is why I try to get past my frustration.
What have you done to help someone today?0 -
OP, totally off the subject (because I really don't care), but every time I see your profile pic it makes me think of an actress from one of those old TV shows..... who do you look like dammit! It's driving me crazy!0
-
OP, totally off the subject (because I really don't care), but every time I see your profile pic it makes me think of an actress from one of those old TV shows..... who do you look like dammit! It's driving me crazy!
She's that girl from "Facts of Life?" Blair?0 -
OP, totally off the subject (because I really don't care), but every time I see your profile pic it makes me think of an actress from one of those old TV shows..... who do you look like dammit! It's driving me crazy!
She's that girl from "Facts of Life?" Blair?
Or Topanga from "Boy Meets World"?0 -
hey!!!
I've got a pointless soapbox tooo
but when I feel like breaking it out, I do this instead....
Turn round! :grumble:0 -
Honestly, I used to be nicer online than I am in real life, trying to take into consideration that tone does not come across well. Guess what I've realized. A much larger problem is that a large percentage of the population is afflicted by one of the following:
1) Little to no reading comprehension skill
2) No interest in doing anything except skimming posts
3) No interest in hearing anything contrary to their own opinion
Long-winded P.C./sensitive posts? Forget it - won't get through to most.
Keep it short, sweet, and blunt - you'll reach more people.0 -
I personally haven't asked for advice on the site but I have contributed to a few discussions and I'd just like to throw in my two cents. 99.9% of the time, perceived rudeness is just honesty without any delicious sugar coating. Sure, you'll occasionally get something genuinely unkind, but it's rare. A while back, a woman wanted to do a salt water fast for like 3 months or something insane. She got about 1 supportive reply and about 50 replies begging her to do some research or posters who did the research for her. And she got butt hurt, started ranting at all the negativity and it spiraled into taco and cat gifs before it got locked. Most of the time, people want to be coddled/told how special they are. Biologically, we're all basically the same and I don't resent good advice from people who know of what they speak.0
-
How do you know what people would or would not DARE to do in person? Are there things you do online that you wouldn't DARE do in person? That says more about you than anyone else. I act and speak the same, no matter what communication medium I'm using.The thing that bothers me when I see fat-bashing is that people wouldn't DARE say it to somebody in person... they hide behind the veil of internet-anonymity and say whatever they want. There is no disputing that being severely overweight, or even mildly overweight comes with health concerns, but there is a right and wrong way to approach somebody you care about and talk to them about their weight. I don't think any stranger has any right to bash somebody they don't know because of their weight. It's none of their business.0 -
How do you know what people would or would not DARE to do in person? Are there things you do online that you wouldn't DARE do in person? That says more about you than anyone else. I act and speak the same, no matter what communication medium I'm using.The thing that bothers me when I see fat-bashing is that people wouldn't DARE say it to somebody in person... they hide behind the veil of internet-anonymity and say whatever they want. There is no disputing that being severely overweight, or even mildly overweight comes with health concerns, but there is a right and wrong way to approach somebody you care about and talk to them about their weight. I don't think any stranger has any right to bash somebody they don't know because of their weight. It's none of their business.
^this...
...and variations of it that have been posted before.
It took me a while to realize that this concept of only saying things online that you wouldn't say in person is probably true...but only for the people who assume others are like that because that's how they are.
I'm actually slightly less sarcastic/blunt online because I don't have the benefit of reading the reaction of my audience real time in order to make adjustments on the fly. Online, I have to at least consider that they may go down the wrong path initially and I won't know to bring them back where I want them.0 -
OP, totally off the subject (because I really don't care), but every time I see your profile pic it makes me think of an actress from one of those old TV shows..... who do you look like dammit! It's driving me crazy!
She's that girl from "Facts of Life?" Blair?
Or Topanga from "Boy Meets World"?
Google supplied me with some serious flashbacks!
I miss old sitcoms!0 -
OP, totally off the subject (because I really don't care), but every time I see your profile pic it makes me think of an actress from one of those old TV shows..... who do you look like dammit! It's driving me crazy!
She's that girl from "Facts of Life?" Blair?
Or Topanga from "Boy Meets World"?
Thank you so much (both of you), because I can see the resemblance to both! I actually think it was Topanga that I was thinking of, but I do see a resemblance to Blair also. Ahhhh I feel so much better now :flowerforyou:0 -
cliff notes:
stop fat bashing..
the internet is mean ..
and if you call someone out for starvation diet you are being mean and inconsiderate...
and in...for the meanies..
Your cliff notes are inaccurate. In my original post AND in several follow up posts I encouraged people to offer guidance to those who are making unhealthy choices. Calling someone out is not the same thing as calling someone names, the latter of which is what I am protesting.
But what you interpret as guidance, someone else might see as bashing/overstepping bounds.
For example:
At my heaviest, I was 230lbs. My slimmer sister and step-mom used to suggest all the time that I try to be more active and get moving. In retrospect, I can see that they did so in a kind way because they cared about me. At the time though, I was overly sensitive to the topic because I was fat and deep down I knew I needed to change. Whenever they suggested a walk or family game of volleyball, I would come home crying because of how mean they are. My husband had to console me many, many times. He tried to make me see that they weren't being mean. But I wouldn't hear it.
When people are in the midst of something, they often perceive any commentary about the issue as bashing or attacking. OP is it possible that you are just especially sensitive to this issue because of your own struggles with weight?0 -
Honestly, I have tried to refute your argument a few times now but keep stumbling. I think that you are, for the most part, correct. I have even tried to "soften my tone" when offering people advice on the forums and avoiding being overly critical. Except in the cases of someone who is promoting an unsafe method to another or telling another that X is the only way to do Y.
However, you have to understand the frustration that comes along with helping people on MFP. A small group of people here try to promote ways of eating that are backed by science and are constantly trying to educate those who are ignorant of nutrition. Because they are going against the "common wisdom" of dieting, they get a lot of unwarranted angst from people who call them rude, haters, and various other nasty names. Also, the same threads are posted over and over again, multiple times per day, with few users actually paying attention to the thread three lines down and instead posting an identical thread above it. And this is despite several excellent stickied threads that would have answered their questions.
It is frustrating, to say the least, to have to keep repeating the same information and refuting the same information over and over again to a user base who, largely, does not appreciate it or pass on what they have learned.
but nobody is asking you to repeat yourselves over and over again, I presume you reply to topics out of CHOICE. If you find it frustrating, why bother?
Because -I- actually care about people and want to see them achieve their weight management and fitness goals. That is why -I- spend several hours per day answering questions, reading research to advance my knowledge, and reaching out to people privately to steer them in a healthy direction.
Because without people like me, this entire website would be devoted to the evils of sugar, carbs, fats and how all women should do ultra high rep weight lifting or pilates to lengthen and tone their muscles. People with EDs would run rampant, and MFP would essentially turn into the opium den of nutrition sites.
That is why I try to get past my frustration.
What have you done to help someone today?
well actually, I raked my elderly neighbour's lawn, gathered the leaves up and took to the dump. Then I walked my disabled daughter's dog (along with my own so it is no hardship), did her shopping for her. Tonight I am "on call" (on my day off) for my local maternity department where I work as a midwife as they are short staffed - and babies will keep coming you know. So yes, I certainly feel I fulfill my role as a "caring" person. You seem to think I was critising you for giving advice. Certainly not...what I dont understand is why you would feel "frustrated" when giving the advice...no matter how often you find yourself repeating the same advice. My point being that you have a choice. Advice should be offered joyfully..not in frustration!0 -
[/quote]
"Thank you so much (both of you), because I can see the resemblance to both! I actually think it was Topanga that I was thinking of, but I do see a resemblance to Blair also. Ahhhh I feel so much better now :flowerforyou: "
[/quote]
Haha! Anytime.0 -
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ryry62685/view/les-mfperables-594438
It wasn't always this way
There was a time when posters were kind
When their tone was soft
And their words encouraging
There was a time when carbs were fine
And MFP was a song
And MFP friends were inviting
Then it all…went…wrong
I dreamed a dream in bandwidth gone by
When motivation was high
And logging on worth doing
I dreamed the MFP site would never die
I dreamed the Mods would be forgiving
Then I was a noob and unafraid
And strikes were made and used and wasted
There was no reason to be made
No post untrolled
No joke unwasted
But the bullies come at night
With their mean words soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And turn your gurney to shame
I created my account on New Years night
MFP filled my days with endless distraction
It took my productivity in real life
But it was gone when I deactivate
And still I dream I’ll recreate
That we’ll live our days online
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are threads we cannot weather
I had a dream my MFP experience would be
So different from this hell I’m reading
So different now from what it seemed
Now your thread has killed
The dream I dreamed
0 -
This type of behavior has been going on far longer than the internet was a thing. Pretty sure organizations like the KKK haven't needed the internet to throw around racial slurs, make death threats, threats of violence, actual violent acts, etc. To say this kind of behavior is around and prevalent only on the internet, or just because people are on the internet now is pure ignorance of reality, and basically looking to use the internet as the newest scapegoat.The one thing I always see in threads like this that makes me laugh the most is the assertion that "mean people" are just mean because "it's the internet and they are saying things they wouldn't say in real life."
In my life experience, I have met very few people in life who act differently in real life than they do on the internet. If you think people are acting way differently online than they would in person, that kind of says a lot more about how you act online, not everyone else.
I don't act or speak any differently if I'm talking to someone online, through a text message, or face to face. I assume, based on my actions and the people around me, that most everyone else acts the same. If you think differently, I would probably guess you act differently online than in real life, and what does that say about you?
The perception of consequences does impact the way people behave online. Any number of stories about people going online making death threats, threatening of any number of types of violence, throwing around racial/ethnic slurs and then getting butthurt when there are actual real life consequences to their actions suggests that OP is onto something.
http://www.3news.co.nz/Charlotte-Dawson-confronts-cyber-bullies/tabid/418/articleID/273958/Default.aspx#.Uo4xbWSxNaE
Tiger as far as I can see, no one said that people were not capable of hatred and stupidity prior to the internet. You inferred that notion and then went on to then make statements based on your inferrence. So that is your deal, and yours alone.
The argument the OP made is that there are people who go out of their way to say insulting a degrading things to others online that they would not say in a face-to-face meeting with the same person. I just put out a link demostrating that very behavior in real life. It's at best disingenous to imply that I blamed the internet for all hateful speech. It is selfserving in an extremely dishonest way to try to construct a new context for a conversation and then insert someone else's statement into what is a entirely different conversation.0 -
:laugh: seriously the funniest thing everhttp://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ryry62685/view/les-mfperables-594438
It wasn't always this way
There was a time when posters were kind
When their tone was soft
And their words encouraging
There was a time when carbs were fine
And MFP was a song
And MFP friends were inviting
Then it all…went…wrong
I dreamed a dream in bandwidth gone by
When motivation was high
And logging on worth doing
I dreamed the MFP site would never die
I dreamed the Mods would be forgiving
Then I was a noob and unafraid
And strikes were made and used and wasted
There was no reason to be made
No post untrolled
No joke unwasted
But the bullies come at night
With their mean words soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And turn your gurney to shame
I created my account on New Years night
MFP filled my days with endless distraction
It took my productivity in real life
But it was gone when I deactivate
And still I dream I’ll recreate
That we’ll live our days online
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are threads we cannot weather
I had a dream my MFP experience would be
So different from this hell I’m reading
So different now from what it seemed
Now your thread has killed
The dream I dreamed0 -
This type of behavior has been going on far longer than the internet was a thing. Pretty sure organizations like the KKK haven't needed the internet to throw around racial slurs, make death threats, threats of violence, actual violent acts, etc. To say this kind of behavior is around and prevalent only on the internet, or just because people are on the internet now is pure ignorance of reality, and basically looking to use the internet as the newest scapegoat.The one thing I always see in threads like this that makes me laugh the most is the assertion that "mean people" are just mean because "it's the internet and they are saying things they wouldn't say in real life."
In my life experience, I have met very few people in life who act differently in real life than they do on the internet. If you think people are acting way differently online than they would in person, that kind of says a lot more about how you act online, not everyone else.
I don't act or speak any differently if I'm talking to someone online, through a text message, or face to face. I assume, based on my actions and the people around me, that most everyone else acts the same. If you think differently, I would probably guess you act differently online than in real life, and what does that say about you?
The perception of consequences does impact the way people behave online. Any number of stories about people going online making death threats, threatening of any number of types of violence, throwing around racial/ethnic slurs and then getting butthurt when there are actual real life consequences to their actions suggests that OP is onto something.
http://www.3news.co.nz/Charlotte-Dawson-confronts-cyber-bullies/tabid/418/articleID/273958/Default.aspx#.Uo4xbWSxNaE
I think (well, I thought) we all know that the reason people are ****s on the internet is because of the anonymity. You can't be held accountable if nobody knows who you are.
Sounds kind of ... similar, hey?
0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions