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    How would/do you handle this?

    Posts: 1,064
    edited February 7 in Chit-Chat
    K serious question. How would or do you handle being in a marriage with someone you can't stand? especially knowing that there is someone out there that wants to love and care for you

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    • Posts: 2,401 Member
      Divorce.
    • Posts: 8,646 Member
      I handle this by doing every thing I can to get her out of her own way so she can give me what I need.
    • Posts: 1,064
      What if that's not an option right now?
    • Posts: 770 Member
      End it
    • Posts: 465 Member
      Serious answer. Figure out when my attitude/life went wrong and fix it. And work on my character. That's how I'd handle it if I'd initially loved the person when I married.
    • Posts: 16,947 Member
      I divorced the *&(&^&%&$#$#^$@^
    • Posts: 3,593 Member
      K serious question. How would or do you handle being in a marriage with someone you can't stand? especially knowing that there is someone out there that wants to love and care for you

      That just sounds so unhealthy. You need to find a way to bail.
    • Posts: 1,064
      I divorced the *&(&^&%&$#$#^$@^
      she wasn't a psycho that would try to kill you when you mentioned divorce
    • Posts: 190 Member
      Serious answer. Figure out when my attitude/life went wrong and fix it. And work on my character. That's how I'd handle it if I'd initially loved the person when I married.

      This!
    • Posts: 1,064
      I forgot to mention the kids. There are kids that are totally affected by this
    • Posts: 3,593 Member
      I forgot to mention the kids. There are kids that ate totally affected by this
      That sounds like you might need to tough it out, depending on their age..
    • Posts: 2,486 Member
      I would run into the arms of my MFP boo :smooched:
      tumblr_mtpqqczJ5t1sizcwqo1_500_zpsd8fbfe49.gif

      Seriously, get counseling.
    • Posts: 1,197 Member
      Ask the internet for advice, obviously.
    • Posts: 2,437 Member
      K serious question. How would or do you handle being in a marriage with someone you can't stand? especially knowing that there is someone out there that wants to love and care for you


      Goin through the same. We're taking "a break".
    • Posts: 2,474 Member
      what's meant to be is meant to be.........
    • Posts: 1,064
      what's meant to be is meant to be.........
      i say that all the time. But is there a time limit?
    • Posts: 8
      I would dance, smile, make the kids happy and life parallel in passing if divorce wasn't an option. Work on making you better, inside and out, be the better person and don't forget to dance and smile, might I suggest to some '80's Hair Nation music?
    • Posts: 9,151 Member
      You obviously could stand her for a while since you 1. married her and 2. have kids by her. Either work it out or leave. Why stay in hell?
    • Posts: 344 Member
      what's meant to be is meant to be.........
      do you seriously subscribe to that philosophy?
    • Posts: 2,474 Member
      show previous quotes
      do you seriously subscribe to that philosophy?

      Yes I do. Everything happens for a reason.
    • Posts: 529 Member
      In the long run divorce will be better for the kids if you can't stand your wife. They don't need to see mom and dad fighting all time. Eventually they will understand. The most important people in the divorce are the kids. Do not put them in the middle, do not make them choose sides, and be honest with them (if they are old enough to understand) otherwise they will be the ones paying for you and spouses problems. And handle your **** first before entering into another relationship.
    • Posts: 2,474 Member
      show previous quotes
      i say that all the time. But is there a time limit?

      Time limit? As long as the feelings are there.
    • Posts: 17 Member
      Do you really think staying together "for the kids" is really best for them? What kind of relationship would you want them to have and what kind of relationship do you think they'll have if your current one is their example.

      I am not saying to leave or not, that is only a decision you can make as we are not a part of your personal and private life. But if I were unhappy with my husband and it was to the point where I would reach out to strangers, then the kids (depending on their age) can probably already tell things aren't right.
    • Posts: 344 Member
      show previous quotes

      Yes I do. Everything happens for a reason.
      so, when they got married it was meant to be but now it's hard so it isn't meant to be.
    • Posts: 471 Member
      If you married her and had kids by her, what has changed to make it so you can't stand her?

      I'd say the first step is finding out what has changed and seeing if there is any way that you can fix it. Don't put all the blame on her (though I'm not saying there isn't plenty for her). What about you has changed? Did you put your all into the relationship, regardless of whether you think she did or not? You have kids and while it's easy to say that there's another woman who will give you love and affection, your wife must have at some point too. Who is to say things won't change with this new partner down the line?

      Edit: Just to clarify: Not saying that you shouldn't get divorced. Just saying that you should make sure you do what you can to fix things first.
    • Posts: 6,972 Member
      Do you really think staying together "for the kids" is really best for them? What kind of relationship would you want them to have and what kind of relationship do you think they'll have if your current one is their example.

      I am not saying to leave or not, that is only a decision you can make as we are not a part of your personal and private life. But if I were unhappy with my husband and it was to the point where I would reach out to strangers, then the kids (depending on their age) can probably already tell things aren't right.

      This. I can tell you from personal experience growing up that parents staying together "for the kids" isn't always the best choice. My parents actually made life more stressful and uncomfortable while they were married and struggling to live together. Once they finally gave up and got divorced and stopped trying to pretend, life got a whole lot easier for the kids. Trust me on that one.
    • Posts: 174 Member
      Why can't you stand her? What changed?
    • Posts: 327 Member
      I spent 15 years in an unhappy relationship. At the end there was just hatred, anger and resentment. It wasn't a happy place to be and it was really not good for the children either. Ending it was one of the best things I ever did even though it caused quite a lot of stress at the time. The children are now happier and so am I. I can see no point in being a martyr just for the sake of it.
    • Posts: 2,474 Member
      Why can't you stand her? What changed?

      ^This. You loved her at one point.
    • Posts: 8,329 Member
      to be honest i wouldnt marry someone i coudnt spend the rest of my life with in the first place. i would take the time to get to know the person before marrying hem and not expecting them to change.
    This discussion has been closed.

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