How would/do you handle this?
Replies
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I believe I would first figure out what went wrong with this:being in a marriage with someone you can't stand?
Before I embarked on this:especially knowing that there is someone out there that wants to love and care for you
Or you're likely to go from the frying pan into the fire.0 -
If you know there is someone you know wants to be with you, does that mean you are cheating on your current Mrs? As if so, you should end your relationship with her as that helps no one. Not her or your children!0
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I have a feeling the OP just wants "permission" to have an affair.0
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Staying together for the kids is one of the worst things you can do to them. Kids are perceptive, and even if they don't understand what's going on, they pick up on tension, however unspoken and passive-aggressive. I provide therapy to kids and teenagers every day, and every day I hear about how they're being affected by their parents behaviors. It's better to split and be good co-parents than to stay together and foster a tense home environment.0
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I have a feeling the OP just wants "permission" to have an affair.
^^
and he won't get that permission from me. That way lies madness. You end one relationship before you start another.0 -
so, when they got married it was meant to be but now it's hard so isn't meant to be.
do you seriously subscribe to that philosophy?what's meant to be is meant to be.........
Yes I do. Everything happens for a reason.
Not hard...but sometimes it becomes impossible. People change.0 -
so, when they got married it was meant to be but now it's hard so isn't meant to be.
do you seriously subscribe to that philosophy?what's meant to be is meant to be.........
Yes I do. Everything happens for a reason.
Not hard...but sometimes it becomes impossible. People change.
Or, what can sometimes be worse is if one person changes, but the other person refuses to. Growth is normal and healthy, but occasionally there are people who don't want to change - and don't want YOU to change. Hard to grow as a person if the person you married insists that things should ALWAYS stay status quo and no changing or growing is allowed.0 -
so, when they got married it was meant to be but now it's hard so isn't meant to be.
do you seriously subscribe to that philosophy?what's meant to be is meant to be.........
Yes I do. Everything happens for a reason.
Not hard...but sometimes it becomes impossible. People change.
Or, what can sometimes be worse is if one person changes, but the other person refuses to. Growth is normal and healthy, but occasionally there are people who don't want to change - and don't want YOU to change. Hard to grow as a person if the person you married insists that things should ALWAYS stay status quo and no changing or growing is allowed.
How long have you been married?0 -
Divorce.
The aforementioned.
You know why it costs so much? CAUSE ITS WORTH IT.
A man is three things. What he thinks he is, what others think he is, and what he really is.
At what point in time, is a man fixed and frozen, if he is to live and grow?
He cannot. He must change.
We all slowly transform and become different, perhaps finer beings.
The you, of then, met her, and perhaps loved her. But you today, are not the you, of yesterday. You are an ever changing man and thus the things you loved about her, perhaps have lost its fondness, lost their luster. Often we change inside and our life partners, our heart mates, do not notice this and thus we grow apart.
Sad but true.
You know in your heart what you must do, now you must find the courage to do it.0 -
Asking the question means you already know the answer.0
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Just keep it real. You're bored with her and looking for some new snatch.0
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I do want a divorce. But I'm also old fashioned and know she can't financially handle being on her own without my income. I truly know the feelings are gone.as for the kids i also know that its not worth it to be in hell for the kids i feel like I'm stuck0
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"or, what can sometimes be worse is if one person
changes, but the other person refuses to. Growth is
normal and healthy, but occasionally there are people
who don't want to change - and don't want YOU to
change. Hard to grow as a person if the person you
married insists that things should ALWAYS stay status
quo and no changing or growing is allowed"
I think that has alot to do with it0 -
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I do want a divorce. But I'm also old fashioned and know she can't financially handle being on her own without my income. I truly know the feelings are gone.as for the kids i also know that its not worth it to be in hell for the kids i feel like I'm stuck
There's this thing called alimony. Pay it.0 -
Marriage counselling.
Also, stop contact with the homewrecker that wants to love and care for you while knowing you're married.0 -
i never thought of it that way definitely sad but trueDivorce.
The aforementioned.
You know why it costs so much? CAUSE ITS WORTH IT.
A man is three things. What he thinks he is, what others think he is, and what he really is.
At what point in time, is a man fixed and frozen, if he is to live and grow?
He cannot. He must change.
We all slowly transform and become different, perhaps finer beings.
The you, of then, met her, and perhaps loved her. But you today, are not the you, of yesterday. You are an ever changing man and thus the things you loved about her, perhaps have lost its fondness, lost their luster. Often we change inside and our life partners, our heart mates, do not notice this and thus we grow apart.
Sad but true.
You know in your heart what you must do, now you must find the courage to do it.0 -
Feelings?? What the heck? You made a vow and commitment. it takes two of you to make a mess of the marriage. Go get some counselling and make an attempt to work it out.
That's what your children need to see before you take off because of "feelings".
That's what I would do0 -
my last comment because the person who posted this is serious.
so, when they got married it was meant to be but now it's hard so isn't meant to be.
do you seriously subscribe to that philosophy?what's meant to be is meant to be.........
Yes I do. Everything happens for a reason.
Not hard...but sometimes it becomes impossible. People change.
Or, what can sometimes be worse is if one person changes, but the other person refuses to. Growth is normal and healthy, but occasionally there are people who don't want to change - and don't want YOU to change. Hard to grow as a person if the person you married insists that things should ALWAYS stay status quo and no changing or growing is allowed.
How long have you been married?
I don't see where any thing you've said can be what is meant to be is meant to be. You say people change and I agree but who decided it wasn't meant to be, God?0 -
Marriage counselling.
Also, stop contact with the homewrecker that wants to love and care for you while knowing you're married.
Why is SHE a homewrecker?0 -
I do want a divorce. But I'm also old fashioned and know she can't financially handle being on her own without my income. I truly know the feelings are gone.as for the kids i also know that its not worth it to be in hell for the kids i feel like I'm stuck
You've been to marriage counseling?
Cause, damn, you're posting your drama on the net. You surely do hate her!
Or just show her this thread. Maybe you will be able to walk tonight!0 -
That being said... Does anyone else smell what I smell???
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K serious question. How would or do you handle being in a marriage with someone you can't stand? especially knowing that there is someone out there that wants to love and care for you
I can tell you what I wouldn't do...put it on an internet post!0 -
Divorce, separation, marriage counseling.
Only read OP, by the way. So.0 -
I don't think you can call someone with 600+ posts and has been on MFP for at least a year a troll.0
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If your in an unhealthy relationship I would end it.0
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This was a repost.
But, I'll edit it by saying I hope you talk to someone about this if you're actually experiencing it.0 -
The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage, Dr. Laura Schlessinger . Check it out at the Library. Read it. Its a fast read.
Also...in your head the grass is greener on the other side with the slut....but think about this....if the slut did this, cheating, WITH you...then lets say ya'all get together....don'tch'ya think she'll go slut around with another man when SHE gets sick of YOU? :brokenheart: :huh:0 -
I don't think you can call someone with 600+ posts and has been on MFP for at least a year a troll.
Sure I can. Anyone can clown.0 -
I don't think you can call someone with 600+ posts and has been on MFP for at least a year a troll.
What do either of those things have to do with behavior on the forums?
I'm not saying he is or isn't a troll, but I wouldn't base my decision off of that.0
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