How would/do you handle this?

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12467

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  • wicksteve
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    Excellent observance. Superb answer.
  • donthesitate
    donthesitate Posts: 255 Member
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    I was the child of the parents who decided to "stick it out for the kids" dont do that to them, it does not turn out well.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Have you done anything to improve your marriage?
  • glynda66
    glynda66 Posts: 184 Member
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    THE GRASS ISNT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE......ITS JUST DIFFERENT GRASS.
  • Soccermavrick
    Soccermavrick Posts: 405 Member
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    I will simply say this. Is it worse to grow up in a loveless home, where hate of each of your parent's by the other predicates your daily lives, or struggle knowing that while there is pain for some period, and your parents are not together, both parents are free to show you love and hope that both find loving relationships???? I am not saying any one scenario is true, but I grew up in one. They may not understand today, but which example do you want to set for them.

    The fact is EVERY marriage takes work, and it is NOT easy. And both parties need to stop and dedicate themselves towards changing, either for each other, or separately. I wish you luck, everyone deserves to be happy.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    THE GRASS ISNT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE......ITS JUST DIFFERENT GRASS.

    QFT!!
  • glynda66
    glynda66 Posts: 184 Member
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    HERES ANOTHER ONE....

    THE GRASS APPEARS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE OF ALL THE B.S........
  • marieskee
    marieskee Posts: 120 Member
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    I do want a divorce. But I'm also old fashioned and know she can't financially handle being on her own without my income. I truly know the feelings are gone.as for the kids i also know that its not worth it to be in hell for the kids i feel like I'm stuck

    People change/grow apart, that happens. You have to get that conversation STARTED. It appears your wife may be the dominate one and she controls the conversations. If she gets upset when you mention divorce then try to have the long overdue conversation that goes like this:

    1. I am not happy/we are not happy
    2.Where do we stand/where do we go from here
    3.Living arrangement
    4.Custody arrangement
    5.Spousal,child support
    Now that's the dramatic version. The practical approach would be to take some "me" time, take a break from the marriage.
    Tell your wife I am backed in a corner and I don't like what we have become. I don't want to hurt you in the process but this is NOT healthy for the family. Explain you are still there financially and you will continue to be a wonderful father. But the marriage either needs work or to end. If anything you two need to (((COMMUNICATE))) a.s.a.p

    Good luck!
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
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    HERES ANOTHER ONE....

    THE GRASS APPEARS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE OF ALL THE B.S........

    hahahaha
  • dayone987
    dayone987 Posts: 645 Member
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    So you want a new life but don't want to pay child support or alimony. You're likely cheating on your wife. You post the question on the internet along with your picture and where you live. Overall, your behavior is less than honorable.

    But she's the problem; yeah OK....
  • marieskee
    marieskee Posts: 120 Member
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    Or just show her this thread. Maybe you will be able to walk tonight!
    [/quote]

    ^^^LOL^^^
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    So you want a new life but don't want to pay child support or alimony. You're likely cheating on your wife. You post the question on the internet along with your picture and where you live. Overall, your behavior is less than honorable.

    But she's the problem; yeah OK....

    Glad you're the one who said it.
  • ProgressNotPerfection32
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    In the long run divorce will be better for the kids if you can't stand your wife. They don't need to see mom and dad fighting all time. Eventually they will understand. The most important people in the divorce are the kids. Do not put them in the middle, do not make them choose sides, and be honest with them (if they are old enough to understand) otherwise they will be the ones paying for you and spouses problems. And handle your **** first before entering into another relationship.

    This. Been there done it. So much happier after.
  • tiggerhammon
    tiggerhammon Posts: 2,211 Member
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    The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage, Dr. Laura Schlessinger . Check it out at the Library. Read it. Its a fast read.

    Super fast if you only read as much of it as will actually benefit you.
    Sorry for the ill remark. I hated that book!
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
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    what's meant to be is meant to be.........
    do you seriously subscribe to that philosophy?

    Yes I do. Everything happens for a reason.

    Oh ya, and God doesn't throw more at you than you can take.

    :wink:

    Unless, perhaps, he goes a little overboard, and it kills you.
  • tottie06
    tottie06 Posts: 259 Member
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    I do want a divorce. But I'm also old fashioned and know she can't financially handle being on her own without my income. I truly know the feelings are gone.as for the kids i also know that its not worth it to be in hell for the kids i feel like I'm stuck

    People change/grow apart, that happens. You have to get that conversation STARTED. It appears your wife may be the dominate one and she controls the conversations. If she gets upset when you mention divorce then try to have the long overdue conversation that goes like this:

    1. I am not happy/we are not happy
    2.Where do we stand/where do we go from here
    3.Living arrangement
    4.Custody arrangement
    5.Spousal,child support
    Now that's the dramatic version. The practical approach would be to take some "me" time, take a break from the marriage.
    Tell your wife I am backed in a corner and I don't like what we have become. I don't want to hurt you in the process but this is NOT healthy for the family. Explain you are still there financially and you will continue to be a wonderful father. But the marriage either needs work or to end. If anything you two need to (((COMMUNICATE))) a.s.a.p

    Good luck!

    2nd this!!
  • Lrdoflamancha
    Lrdoflamancha Posts: 1,280 Member
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    I do want a divorce. But I'm also old fashioned and know she can't financially handle being on her own without my income. I truly know the feelings are gone.as for the kids i also know that its not worth it to be in hell for the kids i feel like I'm stuck

    People change/grow apart, that happens. You have to get that conversation STARTED. It appears your wife may be the dominate one and she controls the conversations. If she gets upset when you mention divorce then try to have the long overdue conversation that goes like this:

    1. I am not happy/we are not happy
    2.Where do we stand/where do we go from here
    3.Living arrangement
    4.Custody arrangement
    5.Spousal,child support
    Now that's the dramatic version. The practical approach would be to take some "me" time, take a break from the marriage.
    Tell your wife I am backed in a corner and I don't like what we have become. I don't want to hurt you in the process but this is NOT healthy for the family. Explain you are still there financially and you will continue to be a wonderful father. But the marriage either needs work or to end. If anything you two need to (((COMMUNICATE))) a.s.a.p

    Good luck!

    2nd this!!

    I third this ... as long as it is said in front of a marriage counselor...
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    K serious question. How would or do you handle being in a marriage with someone you can't stand? especially knowing that there is someone out there that wants to love and care for you

    I don't think I could handle knowing I was such a jerk.

    I would take the vows I made seriously, and make an apt with a marriage counselor and cut things off with the side piece.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    what's meant to be is meant to be.........

    Sorry, but that's something someone made up for a Hallmark card. It has absolutely nothing to do with reality.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    what's meant to be is meant to be.........
    do you seriously subscribe to that philosophy?

    Yes I do. Everything happens for a reason.

    Well, isn't that convenient? So no one has any personal responsibility? Sweet!