How would/do you handle this?
Replies
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Excellent observance. Superb answer.0
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I was the child of the parents who decided to "stick it out for the kids" dont do that to them, it does not turn out well.0
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Have you done anything to improve your marriage?0
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THE GRASS ISNT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE......ITS JUST DIFFERENT GRASS.0
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I will simply say this. Is it worse to grow up in a loveless home, where hate of each of your parent's by the other predicates your daily lives, or struggle knowing that while there is pain for some period, and your parents are not together, both parents are free to show you love and hope that both find loving relationships???? I am not saying any one scenario is true, but I grew up in one. They may not understand today, but which example do you want to set for them.
The fact is EVERY marriage takes work, and it is NOT easy. And both parties need to stop and dedicate themselves towards changing, either for each other, or separately. I wish you luck, everyone deserves to be happy.0 -
THE GRASS ISNT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE......ITS JUST DIFFERENT GRASS.
QFT!!0 -
HERES ANOTHER ONE....
THE GRASS APPEARS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE OF ALL THE B.S........0 -
I do want a divorce. But I'm also old fashioned and know she can't financially handle being on her own without my income. I truly know the feelings are gone.as for the kids i also know that its not worth it to be in hell for the kids i feel like I'm stuck
People change/grow apart, that happens. You have to get that conversation STARTED. It appears your wife may be the dominate one and she controls the conversations. If she gets upset when you mention divorce then try to have the long overdue conversation that goes like this:
1. I am not happy/we are not happy
2.Where do we stand/where do we go from here
3.Living arrangement
4.Custody arrangement
5.Spousal,child support
Now that's the dramatic version. The practical approach would be to take some "me" time, take a break from the marriage.
Tell your wife I am backed in a corner and I don't like what we have become. I don't want to hurt you in the process but this is NOT healthy for the family. Explain you are still there financially and you will continue to be a wonderful father. But the marriage either needs work or to end. If anything you two need to (((COMMUNICATE))) a.s.a.p
Good luck!0 -
HERES ANOTHER ONE....
THE GRASS APPEARS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE OF ALL THE B.S........
hahahaha0 -
So you want a new life but don't want to pay child support or alimony. You're likely cheating on your wife. You post the question on the internet along with your picture and where you live. Overall, your behavior is less than honorable.
But she's the problem; yeah OK....0 -
Or just show her this thread. Maybe you will be able to walk tonight!
[/quote]
^^^LOL^^^0 -
So you want a new life but don't want to pay child support or alimony. You're likely cheating on your wife. You post the question on the internet along with your picture and where you live. Overall, your behavior is less than honorable.
But she's the problem; yeah OK....
Glad you're the one who said it.0 -
In the long run divorce will be better for the kids if you can't stand your wife. They don't need to see mom and dad fighting all time. Eventually they will understand. The most important people in the divorce are the kids. Do not put them in the middle, do not make them choose sides, and be honest with them (if they are old enough to understand) otherwise they will be the ones paying for you and spouses problems. And handle your **** first before entering into another relationship.
This. Been there done it. So much happier after.0 -
The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage, Dr. Laura Schlessinger . Check it out at the Library. Read it. Its a fast read.
Super fast if you only read as much of it as will actually benefit you.
Sorry for the ill remark. I hated that book!0 -
do you seriously subscribe to that philosophy?what's meant to be is meant to be.........
Yes I do. Everything happens for a reason.
Oh ya, and God doesn't throw more at you than you can take.
Unless, perhaps, he goes a little overboard, and it kills you.0 -
I do want a divorce. But I'm also old fashioned and know she can't financially handle being on her own without my income. I truly know the feelings are gone.as for the kids i also know that its not worth it to be in hell for the kids i feel like I'm stuck
People change/grow apart, that happens. You have to get that conversation STARTED. It appears your wife may be the dominate one and she controls the conversations. If she gets upset when you mention divorce then try to have the long overdue conversation that goes like this:
1. I am not happy/we are not happy
2.Where do we stand/where do we go from here
3.Living arrangement
4.Custody arrangement
5.Spousal,child support
Now that's the dramatic version. The practical approach would be to take some "me" time, take a break from the marriage.
Tell your wife I am backed in a corner and I don't like what we have become. I don't want to hurt you in the process but this is NOT healthy for the family. Explain you are still there financially and you will continue to be a wonderful father. But the marriage either needs work or to end. If anything you two need to (((COMMUNICATE))) a.s.a.p
Good luck!
2nd this!!0 -
I do want a divorce. But I'm also old fashioned and know she can't financially handle being on her own without my income. I truly know the feelings are gone.as for the kids i also know that its not worth it to be in hell for the kids i feel like I'm stuck
People change/grow apart, that happens. You have to get that conversation STARTED. It appears your wife may be the dominate one and she controls the conversations. If she gets upset when you mention divorce then try to have the long overdue conversation that goes like this:
1. I am not happy/we are not happy
2.Where do we stand/where do we go from here
3.Living arrangement
4.Custody arrangement
5.Spousal,child support
Now that's the dramatic version. The practical approach would be to take some "me" time, take a break from the marriage.
Tell your wife I am backed in a corner and I don't like what we have become. I don't want to hurt you in the process but this is NOT healthy for the family. Explain you are still there financially and you will continue to be a wonderful father. But the marriage either needs work or to end. If anything you two need to (((COMMUNICATE))) a.s.a.p
Good luck!
2nd this!!
I third this ... as long as it is said in front of a marriage counselor...0 -
K serious question. How would or do you handle being in a marriage with someone you can't stand? especially knowing that there is someone out there that wants to love and care for you
I don't think I could handle knowing I was such a jerk.
I would take the vows I made seriously, and make an apt with a marriage counselor and cut things off with the side piece.0 -
what's meant to be is meant to be.........
Sorry, but that's something someone made up for a Hallmark card. It has absolutely nothing to do with reality.0 -
do you seriously subscribe to that philosophy?what's meant to be is meant to be.........
Yes I do. Everything happens for a reason.
Well, isn't that convenient? So no one has any personal responsibility? Sweet!0 -
I'm beginning to wonder if he is married to this lady???
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1140746-angry-at-husband-for-refusing-to-take-care-of-his-body?page=1
Okay, that wasn't nice, but still... I'm seeing a number of marital issues on these forums.
Happy holidays, everyone!!!!0 -
The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage, Dr. Laura Schlessinger . Check it out at the Library. Read it. Its a fast read.
Also...in your head the grass is greener on the other side with the slut....but think about this....if the slut did this, cheating, WITH you...then lets say ya'all get together....don'tch'ya think she'll go slut around with another man when SHE gets sick of YOU? :brokenheart: :huh:
Don't forget about his sluttiness.0 -
The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage, Dr. Laura Schlessinger . Check it out at the Library. Read it. Its a fast read.
Also...in your head the grass is greener on the other side with the slut....but think about this....if the slut did this, cheating, WITH you...then lets say ya'all get together....don'tch'ya think she'll go slut around with another man when SHE gets sick of YOU? :brokenheart: :huh:
Don't forget about his sluttiness.
You mean that lingering on the Rate Me threads and flirting with whatever halfway decent looking woman is above or below you ISN'T good for a marriage?0 -
I'm beginning to wonder if he is married to this lady???
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1140746-angry-at-husband-for-refusing-to-take-care-of-his-body?page=1
Okay, that wasn't nice, but still... I'm seeing a number of marital issues on these forums.
Happy holidays, everyone!!!!
IKR? WTF0 -
I'm beginning to wonder if he is married to this lady???
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1140746-angry-at-husband-for-refusing-to-take-care-of-his-body?page=1
Okay, that wasn't nice, but still... I'm seeing a number of marital issues on these forums.
Happy holidays, everyone!!!!
IKR? WTF
Ho-ho-hoes?0 -
I don't see where any thing you've said can be what is meant to be is meant to be. You say people change and I agree but who decided it wasn't meant to be, God?
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Why does God have to be linked to this post :huh:0 -
You obviously could stand her for a while since you 1. married her and 2. have kids by her. Either work it out or leave. Why stay in hell?
Unless it was a shotgun wedding!0 -
Must be nice for some to have all the answers, my guess is they haven't been where the op is. It's a sad, dark, lonely and confusing place to be. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. My advice,do everything you can to make it work then try harder and if that doesn't work be the best dad you can be and a great ex husband. I wish you well, it isn't easy.0
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Serious answer: If I couldn't tolerate that person to start with, I never would have married them..0
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K serious question. How would or do you handle being in a marriage with someone you can't stand? especially knowing that there is someone out there that wants to love and care for you
Considering I am in the same situation right now I suggest doing what needs to be done in the mean time to set your self up for happiness in the future. For example I need to accomplish X, Y, & Z before i can get my divorce so right now I am doing that.0
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