Achieved Goal, feeling dissappointed

Options
12357

Replies

  • Nissi51
    Nissi51 Posts: 381 Member
    Options
    Bad news

    Having been on this journey for over 15 years, lost over 100 lbs, passed a few milestones and now am the smallest, most toned I have ever been in my life... I still am always never satisfied with where I've got to and want to be somewhere else.

    I would have given my right eye to be where I am today a year ago.. and now that I'm here, and in my mind, it's like.. really??? what about this lump, what about that hanging skin, what about that cellulite.

    Sorry.. it goes on and on!

    Good news

    I am getting way better at appreciating where I am for longer periods of time and not ONLY being disappointed. So I used to rejoice at a measurement or clothes fitting better or smaller size for a day, then I was back to being disappointed. Now it's seasons of being relatively satisfied with my accomplishments. SO, I am hopeful that eventually I will be "here" and finally pleased or at least content generally with my fat loss and muscle gain and all my accomplishments!

    Battle on!!!!!!
  • janicebinva
    janicebinva Posts: 99 Member
    Options
    I felt the same way until I was at the gym today sitting on the AB X machine. I was watching a guy use a jump rope and from the corner of my eye it looked like someone was staring at me. To myself I said "what's that skinny b*tch staring at?" It was the wall mirror! I was looking at myself from another angle lol!

    Funny!
  • KimP202
    KimP202 Posts: 68 Member
    Options
    bump, so I can remember this when I get the weight off
  • slim4health56
    slim4health56 Posts: 439 Member
    Options
    Perhaps change your goal from losing weight to increasing your fitness level? I've read many posts from folks who say maintaining weight is more difficult than losing weight. I'm not there yet, so can't confirm but I do know that weight loss for me is directly tied to my activity level. Congratulations to you for sticking with it!
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    Options
    I don't have a home gym, and I lift at home. I have a cheap, crappy bench and barbell I got off of craigslist. It won't work forever, but for $30 it's done me pretty well so far. It doesn't take up a lot of space, either. (although my boyfriend does get sick of running his foot into my plates in the morning...perhaps he needs to watch where he is going!)
  • j6o4
    j6o4 Posts: 871 Member
    Options
    I think people would be more happy if they have a goal bodyfat percentage rather than a goal weight since being fat or lean has nothing to do with your weight.
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
    Options
    I think people would be more happy if they have a goal bodyfat percentage rather than a goal weight since being fat or lean has nothing to do with your weight.

    I don't know, but it's not the number I'm unhappy with, it's that the number didn't result in what I thought it would. But then again, maybe it has and like many of you mentioned, I just can't see it yet. There are days when I think I look FANTASTIC. Today is one of them. :-) Of course it helps that someone gave me a complement today! Too bad I couldn't arrange for that to happen everyday! Maybe every morning I'll look in the mirror and say "you look smoking hot today". :happy:
  • wpwarrior88
    wpwarrior88 Posts: 1,503 Member
    Options
    Thank you everyone for your support.

    *sigh* weight training. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it.

    1. I can't afford a gym membership right now.
    2. tiny little house, so no place to put a home gym
    3. the above two are my favorite excuses to use to deflect the fact that I don't like the idea of weight training! :wink:

    I have 2lbs and 5lbs weights at home that I use irregularity...yes I know that won't cut it. I was thinking about Pilates or yoga in the new year.

    I guess it's more about learning not to compare myself to other thinner people and learning to be happy with who I am...but is that settling? Should I always push myself? I agree, maybe I need to stop looking at the number now, I'll redo my measurements and I'll work at strengthening my core, and strengthening my mind.

    Calisthenics! You don't need a gym membership or big house! Just room to do push ups, squats, lunges - use your weight to do curls and such! You CAN do this!!
  • Momjogger
    Momjogger Posts: 750 Member
    Options
    A couple of weeks ago I reached my goal weight....actually, I exceeded my goal weight by 2lbs. Yeah me! But after the initial HOORAY I found myself being more critical than ever. I adjusted my goal to lose more because all I see are the lumps and bumps that still remain. I guess I don't really have a question to ask, I just wish I could be satisfied with the positive changes to my body and not focus on the negative aspects, one being loose skin under my chin! Yuck! Maybe after 8 months of dieting I've become too obsessive about things.
    I get it. Maybe you should try exercise if you haven't? That tones ALOT and can even help with some skin stuff. Weight training twice a week and cardio a couple times a week, or try Zumba or kickboxing, which can work all areas of your body to get started. You'll like it once you get going and like the results.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    Options
    I think people would be more happy if they have a goal bodyfat percentage rather than a goal weight since being fat or lean has nothing to do with your weight.

    BF % is very hard to measure accurately. And weight certainly has something to do with it. Just not everything.

    But inches are decent proxy, controlling for height and weight.
  • Pipsg1rl
    Pipsg1rl Posts: 1,414 Member
    Options
    One of the greatest things I have ever heard is comparison is the thief of happiness....so true.

    Wow... this is going to be my new signature...
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    Options
    Thank you everyone for your support.

    *sigh* weight training. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it.

    1. I can't afford a gym membership right now.
    2. tiny little house, so no place to put a home gym
    3. the above two are my favorite excuses to use to deflect the fact that I don't like the idea of weight training! :wink:

    I have 2lbs and 5lbs weights at home that I use irregularity...yes I know that won't cut it. I was thinking about Pilates or yoga in the new year.

    I guess it's more about learning not to compare myself to other thinner people and learning to be happy with who I am...but is that settling? Should I always push myself? I agree, maybe I need to stop looking at the number now, I'll redo my measurements and I'll work at strengthening my core, and strengthening my mind.

    I have felt just like you feel...it is so disheartening to lose weight and just be a smaller/lighter version of the person you was before you started to try to reach you goal.

    But as much as you make excuses (just as I did) the only way to get in shape is to start to use resistance/weights.

    You do not need a home gym/membership.

    You can get a resistance band of amazon really cheap, or any lifting of any household item will help. vacuum cleaner/laundry basket...just lift it
  • Pipsg1rl
    Pipsg1rl Posts: 1,414 Member
    Options

    Maybe every morning I'll look in the mirror and say "you look smoking hot today". :happy:

    I think you should.
  • laurenpjokl
    laurenpjokl Posts: 118 Member
    Options
    I feel the exact same way, though my goal was only small to begin with. I know that I don't really want to lose much more weight because it doesn't suit me. Instead I've been focussing on doing lots of different exercises to try and tone up.
  • mamacoates
    mamacoates Posts: 430 Member
    Options
    Thank you everyone for your support.

    *sigh* weight training. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it.

    1. I can't afford a gym membership right now.
    2. tiny little house, so no place to put a home gym
    3. the above two are my favorite excuses to use to deflect the fact that I don't like the idea of weight training! :wink:

    I have 2lbs and 5lbs weights at home that I use irregularity...yes I know that won't cut it. I was thinking about Pilates or yoga in the new year.

    I guess it's more about learning not to compare myself to other thinner people and learning to be happy with who I am...but is that settling? Should I always push myself? I agree, maybe I need to stop looking at the number now, I'll redo my measurements and I'll work at strengthening my core, and strengthening my mind.

    Try strength training that incorporates body weight exercises ... pushups, lunges, box jumps, etc., etc. There are also lots of video programs you can do at home and routines you can find on-line. Take a look at exercise routines incorporating TRX Suspension training. While the TRX brand straps are very expensive, there are cost-effective knock offs available through Amazon and other on-line resources.

    Not having a gym membership is never an excuse for good health and strong bodies!!
  • sweetNsassy2584
    sweetNsassy2584 Posts: 515 Member
    Options
    A lot of people go through this. I reached my goal and I wasn't happy with what I saw. I started lifting and stopped focusing on the scale. I have seen huge improvements but I'm still not satisfied. I've come to realize that I will never be satisfied. I will strive to better and better. I continue to make new goals for myself that don't necessarily have to do with weight or body composition. You don't need weights for strength training. I would suggest investing in some bands. They are fairly cheap and small.
  • balancedbrunette
    balancedbrunette Posts: 530 Member
    Options
    Everyone thats replied basically has covered everything but firstly well done on your weight loss you've got this far and its so important to remember that and be proud of yourself for it, seriously wish I could take my own advice sometimes :P I too got down to my desired weight loss last may i couldn't quite believe it for ages, I was happy enough with myself but I guess I did want to work on my body image a lot more, I think from reading this thread alone and others we will always strive to be better or push ourselves and sometimes in the middle of that you can forget how far you have come so don't be afraid to give yourself a pat on the back every now and again :).

    With regards where to go from here, I'll agree with what others have said about bodyweight/strength training, I have found it so beneficial and even still i'm only in the learning stages, i'm not on a proper program at the moment but I did go to classes in august and found these very helpful for form, its not for everyone but i'd recommend if there was any classes on near you you might find these good, i found them very helpful for introducing me to training - re proper form etc. It also gave me some ideas for workouts to do at home.

    I don't follow this whole Toneitup schedule/nutrition plan but I do try some of the total body workouts they throw up online sometimes, they're a handy way of getting some bodyweight training in at home with a pair of dumbbells, just to give you an idea the frisky fall full body routine:
    http://toneitup.com/2013/10/new-full-body-routine-october-calendar/

    Might be of no interest to you but just to give you an idea, whatever you decide to do well done on how far you have come, some have suggested Julian Michaels dvds, i did the shred as i was loosing and found it really good for loosing inches. :) Best of luck!
  • mreimer102
    mreimer102 Posts: 28 Member
    Options
    Congratulations, you did it! Yeh, a big concern for many of us. So far I don't see much on myself, but I had a friend that quit dieting because her daughter told her that her skin hung on her face and neck, and made her look old. I thought she looked wonderful. I think that we are harder on ourselves though. Extra water drinking above 8 glasses is supposed to help us hold volume in our skin so I am trying to do that too. Don't know how I will look when my 50 pounds are finished. I see more cellulite though on thighs and I notice my skin is looser on my upper legs as well.
  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
    Options
    You should probably start putting more emphasis on body composition/re-comp...dieting and cardio isn't going to cut it...you need to do resistance work. Most people eventually realize that dieting and cardio alone is not what is going to give them the body/physique they are looking for...that physique comes with resistance work...namely weight training.

    Congrats and be proud of yourself. That's an amazing goal to achieve!!! But I know how you feel, I felt exactly the same way as you until I started resistance training. That's the only thing that's made a difference to what I actually see in the mirror.
  • j6o4
    j6o4 Posts: 871 Member
    Options
    I think people would be more happy if they have a goal bodyfat percentage rather than a goal weight since being fat or lean has nothing to do with your weight.

    BF % is very hard to measure accurately. And weight certainly has something to do with it. Just not everything.

    But inches are decent proxy, controlling for height and weight.

    So how does being fat or being lean relate to weight? If I was 300lbs would that make me fat? What if I had full on sixpack at that weight?

Categories