Touchy subject. Pornography. Need advice.

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  • recover_healthy_fit
    recover_healthy_fit Posts: 209 Member
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    I feel your pain... I'm the same with porn. Another reason why I'm fine with being single for the rest of my life because EVERYONE but me and you seem to understand each other and apparently, we both need to "grow up" and stop being prude? Yeah, ok there, people. Whatever. If I don't like it, then I don't like it. But anyways, I know how you feel...
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    hahahaha, is the op for real?

    It's porn, watch it with him and get laid. wtf is this, 17th century new england?
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
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    He is probably looking at porn because he is not getting laid enough....just sayin'

    I call BS on this one. He's looking at porn because he likes to....plain and simple.. She learns to deal with it or go on her way and leave him to his.
  • Kevalicious99
    Kevalicious99 Posts: 1,131 Member
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    Well I'm not sure that's it. Is 3 times a day not enough?

    He looks at porn 3x a day .. hmm, interesting.
  • LilRedRooster
    LilRedRooster Posts: 1,421 Member
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    It sucks that he agreed to stay away from porn. He probably did it b/c he didn't want to fight about it anymore, and likes you enough not to break up with you over a ridiculous demand. Now you feel all betrayed b/c he said he wouldn't do it and did it anyway. I recommend getting over the porn issue or just break up. You're both adults (I hope) and looking at naked people isn't cheating. If you think it is, then you should be with someone who agrees. I know how you feel b/c I used to have a serious problem with porn (I didn't want my SO looking at it) and the feeling sucks. But it's your problem, not his. His only problem is that he wants to be with someone who wants to change him and is trying to find a work around. Good luck with all that. (Seriously - I hope you can get over it and be happy)

    hogwarts-clap.gif

    Basically.

    He's not a child, and neither are you. You both aren't obliged to do things or be a certain way for the other person, and neither of you has any right to forbid the other person from doing things just because you don't "like" that they do them.

    If it's something that he doesn't want to change, it might be hurtful to you, but ultimately, your options are to either accept it, or leave the relationship. Not because he's a terrible, awful person for looking at porn when he promised he wouldn't, but because he exists in one way, and you would rather have him another. He's not obliged to change to that other way just because you would prefer it, any more than you are obliged to change for him if he would prefer something different.

    So you can either choose to change yourself (i.e. accept him for who he is) for you own benefit, or move on so that you can get what you need elsewhere. He has the same choice to change for himself, but you cannot do that for him, and you can't expect him to change. The relationship can't be exactly as you want it on your terms; part of it has to be on his terms as well, or else it will never mutually work.

    Good luck.
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    This is a very personal thing, and everyone is going to have differing opinions.

    Driving your boyfriends porn habit underground is only going to make the whole "deception" issue seem worse for you. I doubt he's going to stop watching porn, he will just hide it from you. Surely that's not a good thing. So you need to either accept it, and him - or make other choices.

    And I must say, if you are having sex 3 times a day, you probably have a strong libido. I'm honestly surprised that you have issues with porn and don't watch it together.

    ETA... sorry I missed the point there, I thought you were having sex 3 times a day LOL!!! He watches porn 3 times a day? Whatever. Once, twice three times, it's all the same. Some people play candy crush saga every chance they get.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    Isn't "dating" (or whatever you want to call it) supposed to be a process of figuring out if someone is compatible with you? If your hangups about porn are such a big deal to you, then find someone who isn't into it.

    Why do people try to get with someone who they know is a bad match, and then try to change that person into what they wanted, and then act surprised when it doesn't work?
  • ScottF83
    ScottF83 Posts: 233 Member
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    Nine pages for this crap?

    I'm off to watch porn.
  • MrsAnnaDavies
    MrsAnnaDavies Posts: 7
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    i'm sorry but i disagree with most of these so called 'threads'. i myself have this problem with porn. just because a lot of guys like this sort of thing it doesn't mean that you have to and he should respect that sweetie. at the end of the day how would guys like it if we posted naked pics and video's online for loads of men to dribble over? exactly they wouldn't. this is the point i made to my husband and ever since there has been only a few occasions and i gave him the decision. he either stops and finds someone that accept or he gives it up. after ll, it's just porn. men take it to seriously and it IS disrespectful to woman that don't agree with it. i gave mine an ultimatum and it worked and nothing since as he chose ME. if porn is more important than our feelings sweetheart you need to throw him. he can't be worth it. MEN grow up and stop acting like kids, respect your women and stop treating it like its a must. it's inconsiderate. if you can't live without it then you really need your head sorted. good luck sweetie and if you meed to talk message me.
  • mirandagarcia750
    mirandagarcia750 Posts: 72 Member
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    Try watching it with him. Watching porn is not bad. It's only bad if he is watching illegal porn or if he's addicted to it to the extent of losing his job over it. Otherwise I think you may be overreacting and trying to be a little too controlling. Again, try watching it with him. If it's something he likes then you should at least make an attempt to try it out. It's just another interest, like maybe you like watching chick flicks and he doesn't. No big deal.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Isn't "dating" (or whatever you want to call it) supposed to be a process of figuring out if someone is compatible with you? If your hangups about porn are such a big deal to you, then find someone who isn't into it.

    Why do people try to get with someone who they know is a bad match, and then try to change that person into what they wanted, and then act surprised when it doesn't work?

    tumblr_lzvz7970Z01r73ofqo1_400.gif
    tumblr_lxpkhtclaX1qhf37f.gif


    ...or blame those evil romantic chick flick films.
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
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    not-subtle-flirting.gif

    Someone say porn?
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,324 Member
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    i'm sorry but i disagree with most of these so called 'threads'.

    there were more porn threads?
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
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    oops-pants-off.gif
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
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    elvis_champagne.gif
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    i'm sorry but i disagree with most of these so called 'threads'. i myself have this problem with porn. just because a lot of guys like this sort of thing it doesn't mean that you have to and he should respect that sweetie. at the end of the day how would guys like it if we posted naked pics and video's online for loads of men to dribble over? exactly they wouldn't. this is the point i made to my husband and ever since there has been only a few occasions and i gave him the decision. he either stops and finds someone that accept or he gives it up. after ll, it's just porn. men take it to seriously and it IS disrespectful to woman that don't agree with it. i gave mine an ultimatum and it worked and nothing since as he chose ME. if porn is more important than our feelings sweetheart you need to throw him. he can't be worth it. MEN grow up and stop acting like kids, respect your women and stop treating it like its a must. it's inconsiderate. if you can't live without it then you really need your head sorted. good luck sweetie and if you meed to talk message me.

    hey I have a question! I hope you don't mind answering! how does women posting dirty photos and videos of themselves equate to men watching porn? thanks in advance for clarification!
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    i'm sorry but i disagree with most of these so called 'threads'.

    there were more porn threads?

    More importantly...is this not really a thread? So called "threads"...if they aren't threads, what are they? I'm pretty sure creating a new topic makes it a thread, but I could be wrong.
  • MrsAnnaDavies
    MrsAnnaDavies Posts: 7
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    I feel your pain... I'm the same with porn. Another reason why I'm fine with being single for the rest of my life because EVERYONE but me and you seem to understand each other and apparently, we both need to "grow up" and stop being prude? Yeah, ok there, people. Whatever. If I don't like it, then I don't like it. But anyways, I know how you feel...

    flipping bang on. i'm with you too. they wouldn't like it if we posted pics and videos of us naked online for men to dribble over. its stupid and inconsiderate. men who can't give it up are deluded. DAFT.
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
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  • ScottF83
    ScottF83 Posts: 233 Member
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    This is worse than my Boo-Boo thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1143529-boo-boo
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