Do I tell her she's gaining?

ctalimenti
ctalimenti Posts: 865 Member
edited November 4 in Health and Weight Loss
I have a family member who lost a lot of weight last year. At that time, she told me to let her know if she started gaining again.

Well, she's gaining again. Do I dare say anything? Doubt she'll take it well and it probably won't change her ways.

What to do, what to do???
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Replies

  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    Why do you believe she's completely unaware that she's gained any weight? I'm sure she knows. If you don't think she'll take it well then what is your motive for telling her?
  • MileHighFitness
    MileHighFitness Posts: 2,298 Member
    Just tell her, then offer to workout with her...
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
    Bring it up gently! She asked you to tell her after all, so say something like, "Hey ____, remember last year when you asked me to..."
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    I have a family member who lost a lot of weight last year. At that time, she told me to let her know if she started gaining again.

    Well, she's gaining again. Do I dare say anything? Doubt she'll take it well and it probably won't change her ways.

    What to do, what to do???

    Nope. She knows if she's gaining weight. It is not your responsibility to be her "weight keeper".

    That's even strange she asked you to tell her if she's gaining weight.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    Double post
  • red_road
    red_road Posts: 761 Member
    yes
  • 1capybara
    1capybara Posts: 162 Member
    Just tell her, then offer to workout with her...
    this guy is one smart dude!
  • Em_runs_away
    Em_runs_away Posts: 194 Member
    If she asked for your help telling her when she's gaining then yes, I'd mention it. I wouldn't otherwise. I might say "I wondered if you'd like someone to walk/run/gym/swim with, I remembered you asking me to offer support last year" then await the response. It's a bit unfair of her to ask you to tell her if she will then take it badly though!
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    You don't have to tell her she's gaining. Just tell her how proud you are of her weight loss, then ask her how much she lost and what her goal weight is/was. She'll remember and realize that she has started to put the weight back on.
  • jerbsod
    jerbsod Posts: 48
    You DO NOT want to have that conversation with a women EVER...
    NEVER EVER tell a woman she is getting well... fat
  • djc315
    djc315 Posts: 585 Member
    I think since she asked - I would bring it up but in a nice way. I would not say "hey you are getting fat again" or anything along those lines even mentioning her weight. Instead, I would mention working out and if she wants to join you. Or just start talking about your work-out routine with her. She would probably pick up the subtle hint. I am SURE she knows she is gaining - if you are noticing it, her clothes are fitting differently at this point. I think it was unfair she put you in this situation, but she might not have been even serious to begin with (serious about you telling her, I mean).
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
    What to do, what to do???

    Yep, it's a conundrum all right.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    she told you to tell of course you tell unless she's just one of those people who are just all talk and don't like the truth

    I've asked my BF to hold me accountable and there are times he has to look at me and say why are you eating that? My first instinct is to get pissed, but then I have to remember he's just doing what I asked.
  • lizfiz50
    lizfiz50 Posts: 179 Member
    just tell her
  • 33Freya
    33Freya Posts: 468 Member
    Ask her how she's doing on maintaining and what she's doing for working out and/or keeping track. She'll probably volunteer that she has been slipping. Then you can ask her how you can support her! Good luck.:flowerforyou:
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
    I told my husband to tell me if I started gaining. The reason why: because I need the blunt honest truth. Honestly, just tell her.
  • Searching44
    Searching44 Posts: 53
    You don't have to tell her she's gaining. Just tell her how proud you are of her weight loss, then ask her how much she lost and what her goal weight is/was. She'll remember and realize that she has started to put the weight back on.

    I was thinking the same thing!:smile:
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    Okay, I'm baffled by those replies saying she should tell her friend. Why would it be anyone's responsibility to tell someone else they are gaining weight?

    No offense intended to anyone, but accountability does not mean having someone else tell me I'm goofing up. It means I'm paying enough attention to my own behavior to see when I'm goofing up and take immediate action to remedy the situation if I so choose to.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    I have told a bunch of people (I lost track) that if I ever did something, just shoot me. No, I don't actually want to be shot.
  • Wetcoaster
    Wetcoaster Posts: 1,788 Member
    People who are gaining weight back know it.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    People who are gaining weight back know it.

    Exactly.
  • turtleball
    turtleball Posts: 217 Member
    Just say "look yo, your getting fat again".


    and then if she looks at you like shes all mad, just say hey you told me to tell you.
  • MileHighFitness
    MileHighFitness Posts: 2,298 Member
    You could try the old "<cough> gettin fat <cough> <cough>"

    Jk!
  • cowgalsarah29
    cowgalsarah29 Posts: 15 Member
    I would not advise to tell her. She knows she is gaining weight.. BUT you could ask how she is feeling and how the diet is going
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    I wouldn't, because I would assume if someone told me that they didn't really mean it literally. Because who doesn't notice they're gaining weight until a friend tells them? Even if you don't weigh, your clothes tell you. Or the mirror.
  • arcticfox04
    arcticfox04 Posts: 1,011 Member
    You should, I see no problem. She told you if she did.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Well, if you agreed to tell her, then you should keep your word. Will she like it? Probably not. But just say that she asked you after all. Make sure you tell her with kindness and compassion, as well.

    Edited for typo.
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
    People who are gaining weight back know it.

    Exactly.

    Yup! I'm sure her clothes are getting snug & the scales are showing different numbers. I wouldn't tell her, she's a grown adult. If she can't work it out for herself, something is wrong.
  • AllOnMeWOL
    AllOnMeWOL Posts: 26 Member
    People who are gaining weight back know it.



    Yep.
  • ctalimenti
    ctalimenti Posts: 865 Member
    Starting to think not to tell her. I don't think it was fair of her to put me in this spot in the first place. It's not my responsibility to tell her the obvious. She tends to put things on others a lot and this is just one of those things.
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