Can cheaters change?

135

Replies

  • Altruista75
    Altruista75 Posts: 409 Member
    Possibly until the next person of interest comes along for them though. My past experience is that they're never satisfied with what they currently have.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Honestly, it's absolutely ignorant to think that an individual's personality and character stays completely stagnant for their entire lives.

    QFT
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    That's right…NO consequences, correct? Once I changed, then all my past actions are "erased" and everyone has to put up with me. Then, I get to lecture about how people can change. Until someone reminds me that the consequences of what I have done will always be with me.
    "You can't change the past; you can only rise above it."

    That means that of course you can't wipe the slate clean, but you can do better in the future.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    There is so much win on this thread, I'm not sure who all to quote...

    If people couldn't change for the better, then what hope is there for any of us?
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Can murderer's change? Can paedophiles change?

    You are the actions you commit upon this world.

    Erm. No. We are more than just the actions we commit on the world. That's a pretty unfair statement for someone who has changed their ways.

    Sorry to disagree with such a lovely person…but we are what we do

    Until you decide that you want to do something else.

    You know, to say that you personally believe that a cheater can never change implies that you have no conscience.

    And as I said earlier, if you can't take accountability for the pain you've caused people ever, then there is some deeper, under-lying mental health issues at work here.

    I can think of a few junkies that people once called nonredeemable, but they have changed and went from being thieves/takers to being employees and full-time parents, volunteers even.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Can murderer's change? Can paedophiles change?

    You are the actions you commit upon this world.

    Erm. No. We are more than just the actions we commit on the world. That's a pretty unfair statement for someone who has changed their ways.

    Sorry to disagree with such a lovely person…but we are what we do

    Until you decide that you want to do something else.

    You know, to say that you personally believe that a cheater can never change implies that you have no conscience.

    And as I said earlier, if you can't take accountability for the pain you've caused people ever, then there is some deeper, under-lying mental health issues at work here.

    I can think of a few junkies that people once called nonredeemable, but they have changed and went from being thieves/takers to being employees and full-time parents, volunteers even.

    I love you!
  • HealthWoke0ish
    HealthWoke0ish Posts: 2,078 Member
    Possibility vs Probability

    So CAN cheaters change? Yes. Will they? ...who knows?
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Possibility vs Probability

    So CAN cheaters change? Yes. Will they? ...who knows?

    Spot on!
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Some can, some won't.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    they can but it takes a solid slap upside the head for that to happen.

    I would say Yes, but I bet it's rare.

    From personal experience most of them can't overcome their own selfishness.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    Cheaters will always be cheaters.
    They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
    Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
    Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

    Thats my opinion anyway.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I think some of you just need a holly jolly hug. Cheer up!

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSZzd9ahbWDzmF2RJZGyCmbY6ji9tLqyu_y0JJfygl18yJQosw6
  • SCV34
    SCV34 Posts: 2,048 Member
    I believe cheaters can change.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    No, they cannot. Can some cheaters stop cheating because they realize there is much to lose in this life? Maybe, very few times though.

    Did you just answer your own question, in a thread post? Is that not what car mirrors are for?
  • SCV34
    SCV34 Posts: 2,048 Member
    Cheaters will always be cheaters.
    They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
    Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
    Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

    Thats my opinion anyway.

    My own personal experience has taught me tough and painful lessons about cheating. Cheating is wrong, but I firmly believe anyone can change even a cheater.

    That's just my opinion.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    Cheaters will always be cheaters.
    They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
    Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
    Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

    Thats my opinion anyway.

    4437.gif

    From the bottom of my scumbag barrell, for being 20 and stupid.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I'll take "Broad Sweeping Generalization Because I've Been Hurt" for 1,000 Alex.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    Cheaters will always be cheaters.
    They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
    Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
    Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

    Thats my opinion anyway.

    4437.gif

    From the bottom of my scumbag barrell, for being 20 and stupid.
    See, I don't buy into that excuse.
    All of us were at one point 20 and stupid.
    I mean, I was in the Army at 20.
    And in the INFANTRY!!!
    Can't get much dumber then that.
    But even then, I knew that hurting someone else was wrong.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Cheaters will always be cheaters.
    They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
    Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
    Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

    Thats my opinion anyway.

    4437.gif

    From the bottom of my scumbag barrell, for being 20 and stupid.
    See, I don't buy into that excuse.
    All of us were at one point 20 and stupid.
    I mean, I was in the Army at 20.
    And in the INFANTRY!!!
    Can't get much dumber then that.
    But even then, I knew that hurting someone else was wrong.

    So in your life, you have never hurt anyone?

    Ladies and gentlemen, we have a saint amongst us.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    Cheaters will always be cheaters.
    They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
    Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
    Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

    Thats my opinion anyway.

    4437.gif

    From the bottom of my scumbag barrell, for being 20 and stupid.
    See, I don't buy into that excuse.
    All of us were at one point 20 and stupid.
    I mean, I was in the Army at 20.
    And in the INFANTRY!!!
    Can't get much dumber then that.
    But even then, I knew that hurting someone else was wrong.

    It wasn't an excuse. I grew up. I learned. I made the decision to never hurt someone like that again. I didn't say I was right or it was ok, but I did learn from what I did wrong.

    I also have the balls to admit I was wrong and that I am not, and never have been, perfect and to realize that others are just as imperfect.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    The answers yes. But the real question is why bother? If someones cheated on you what's the point in wasting your time and effort, just my opinion.

    I agree with you.
  • latenitelucy
    latenitelucy Posts: 1,314 Member
    I'll take "Broad Sweeping Generalization Because I've Been Hurt" for 1,000 Alex.

    I agree. I also think there is a difference between someone who has cheated once and a "cheater"

    Doing it for the fun of it? probably won't change.

    cheated because they felt (justified or not) that they needed something that they currently did not have? May never cheat again
  • penelopelake
    penelopelake Posts: 4
    People often cheat - 50% of married people - for one reason. They are not getting what they want in their marriage. IE, their spouse has withheld sex for years and that in itself is a form of torture.

    Cheating is simply a sign there is something not right in the r-ship.

    Monogamy is also very hard for a majority of people, men and women, and women are hardwired to NOT be monogamous (read Sex at Dawn etc etc)
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    Cheaters will always be cheaters.
    They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
    Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
    Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

    Thats my opinion anyway.

    4437.gif

    From the bottom of my scumbag barrell, for being 20 and stupid.
    See, I don't buy into that excuse.
    All of us were at one point 20 and stupid.
    I mean, I was in the Army at 20.
    And in the INFANTRY!!!
    Can't get much dumber then that.
    But even then, I knew that hurting someone else was wrong.

    I keep thinking your stuff is going to rhyme but it never does.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    Cheaters will always be cheaters.
    They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
    Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
    Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

    Thats my opinion anyway.

    4437.gif

    From the bottom of my scumbag barrell, for being 20 and stupid.
    See, I don't buy into that excuse.
    All of us were at one point 20 and stupid.
    I mean, I was in the Army at 20.
    And in the INFANTRY!!!
    Can't get much dumber then that.
    But even then, I knew that hurting someone else was wrong.

    So in your life, you have never hurt anyone?

    Ladies and gentlemen, we have a saint amongst us.

    I have broken up with girlfriends before. I knew that it would hurt. Somethimes it happens.
    I never, ever cheated on one.
    As a matter of fact, I never broke up with a girl just to go out with a different one.

    I do believe that it is a matter of caracter and there really is no excuse to cheat on someone.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    Cheaters will always be cheaters.
    They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
    Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
    Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

    Thats my opinion anyway.

    4437.gif

    From the bottom of my scumbag barrell, for being 20 and stupid.
    See, I don't buy into that excuse.
    All of us were at one point 20 and stupid.
    I mean, I was in the Army at 20.
    And in the INFANTRY!!!
    Can't get much dumber then that.
    But even then, I knew that hurting someone else was wrong.

    I keep thinking your stuff is going to rhyme but it never does.
    Hmmmm...
    CHALLANGE ACCEPTED!!!!!!!!
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Cheaters will always be cheaters.
    They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
    Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
    Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

    Thats my opinion anyway.

    4437.gif

    From the bottom of my scumbag barrell, for being 20 and stupid.
    See, I don't buy into that excuse.
    All of us were at one point 20 and stupid.
    I mean, I was in the Army at 20.
    And in the INFANTRY!!!
    Can't get much dumber then that.
    But even then, I knew that hurting someone else was wrong.

    So in your life, you have never hurt anyone?

    Ladies and gentlemen, we have a saint amongst us.

    I have broken up with girlfriends before. I knew that it would hurt. Somethimes it happens.
    I never, ever cheated on one.
    As a matter of fact, I never broke up with a girl just to go out with a different one.

    I do believe that it is a matter of caracter and there really is no excuse to cheat on someone.

    I don't think anyone is arguing there are actual legitimate reasons to cheat. They are saying that people cheat for reasons that don't really say much about their moral character in the long run. People, all people, do things they shouldn't do.
  • Ninguneado77
    Ninguneado77 Posts: 468


    Behaviour good and bad has consequences. You can decide to change but you can't necessarily wipe out the consequences of your actions. Weight gained can usually be lost again. But trust broken due to cheating can rarely be re-gained.

    Thank you for this!….. Someone was trying to convey that since you can sign up on mfp and lose some lbs then you can also stop being unfaithful. Hence this thread… The consequences of a cheater are pain, distrust, hurt, trauma, etc..on his spouse and his children and the rest of family and friends…being overweight is not the same thing. :)
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Why would you think a cheater can't change? If you make one wrong decision do you continue making that same wrong decision forever?
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member


    Behaviour good and bad has consequences. You can decide to change but you can't necessarily wipe out the consequences of your actions. Weight gained can usually be lost again. But trust broken due to cheating can rarely be re-gained.

    Thank you for this!….. Someone was trying to convey that since you can sign up on mfp and lose some lbs then you can also stop being unfaithful. Hence this thread… The consequences of a cheater are pain, distrust, hurt, trauma, etc..on his spouse and his children and the rest of family and friends…being overweight is not the same thing. :)

    Drug addicts can cause the same pain and distrust to their spouses and families. They can also change. And?

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