She's fine, but seriously what do you think scale says?

Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.

God, I hope not. The older I get, the more important it should be. My body (not just in terms of appearance but also physical ability) has a lot to do with my quality of life. If I want to maintain said quality of life for as long as possible, then it's going to require even more diligence as I get older.

I'm not saying women should feel free to let themselves go physically. We should care for ourselves for our health, for our own self-esteem, for all kinds of reasons including appearance. I think the older you get the more you see your ability and quality of life aren't tied to being a size 2 or even 10. Even if you remain a size 2, 4, 6, whatever, you're going to find you look less and less like the woman he married every year and that's ok. You can be healthy and worthy of love and even desire and physical attraction at sizes larger than you were on your wedding day.

*For me*, someone loving me 'despite how I look today' (regardless of who's 'fault' it is) would be unacceptable, and I hope my daughter never feels that way. I have unconditional love. The people I love could get hate messages tattooed across their faces and I'd still love them. I would never let them think for a second that I judged them on their appearance and rated love with their weight as a factor.

Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.

God, I hope not. The older I get, the more important it should be. My body (not just in terms of appearance but also physical ability) has a lot to do with my quality of life. If I want to maintain said quality of life for as long as possible, then it's going to require even more diligence as I get older.

I'm not saying women should feel free to let themselves go physically. We should care for ourselves for our health, for our own self-esteem, for all kinds of reasons including appearance. I think the older you get the more you see your ability and quality of life aren't tied to being a size 2 or even 10. Even if you remain a size 2, 4, 6, whatever, you're going to find you look less and less like the woman he married every year and that's ok. You can be healthy and worthy of love and even desire and physical attraction at sizes larger than you were on your wedding day.

*For me*, someone loving me 'despite how I look today' (regardless of who's 'fault' it is) would be unacceptable, and I hope my daughter never feels that way. I have unconditional love. The people I love could get hate messages tattooed across their faces and I'd still love them. I would never let them think for a second that I judged them on their appearance and rated love with their weight as a factor.

I see where we are being misunderstood. You are talking about love and I am talking about physical desire. Yes aging happens bit we choose how we maintain our appearance.

i like thigh gaps.

not exclusively, but I do kinda want to sneak in there sometimes

I mean I guess technically I had seen its presence or absence but I didn't CARE or remember.

Yep. It's completely irrelevant from my perspective as well. Simply not a factor in attractiveness.

Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.

I didn't mean to offend. I meant it more as 'we all deserve to be loved for who we are period', not 'who we are despite our flaws in appearance'.

I find it a little objectifying when women say they workout for their husband's pleasure but who am I to judge.

I workout for me, but I choose not to become overweight again for him. I workout to find my perfection, but love the fast that he has that spark of sexual desire towards me again. I choose to better myself and in doing so have bettered our sex life.

I still don't see how this is a bad thing. Shrug*

It's not how you look...it's your confidence...that has made that better.

I know looks have nothing to do with sexual desire and if they are even slightly considered than the person is shallow.:noway:
#sarcasm

But then they still have to fit over your hips or butt. I cna't wear men's jeans, even if they're the right waist size. They're too small over my hips.

And women have the low and midrise pants, too, which throws it all off.

I just get midrise so they fit my hips and I'm good.

god low rise pants are probably the worst thing to happen to women's jeans since pleats.

Seriously- if you have ANY butt at all- low rise is INSTANT crack city OR front wedgie. It's awful.

Oh, I love mine. And I have a bootie. :bigsmile:

Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.

I didn't mean to offend. I meant it more as 'we all deserve to be loved for who we are period', not 'who we are despite our flaws in appearance'.

I find it a little objectifying when women say they workout for their husband's pleasure but who am I to judge.

Yeah, but I'm saying that I would workout for her as well. It's like this for me (within reason of course), at the beginning of a relationship you do everything you can to impress the other person, put your best foot forward. Of course that will slow a little bit, naturally, and there needs to be understanding (I'm assuming this is a worthwhile, healthy relationship) but why not keep trying to bring your A game as time goes on? lol

You have an excellent attitude! My husband works very hard on his fitness as it is important to him that I find him hawt. And thank goodness for that! Fortunately, he has a lifetime of good sports fitness under his belt, so it's mainly a matter of upkeep and trying not to eat too much popcorn late at night. :happy:

The reason I began on MFP is because I no longer felt desired by my husband. I had had 2 kids and gained 45lbs! Don't get me wrong he still loved me but I could feel the shift from uncontrollable desire, to I love you inspite of the weight you gained.

At first I felt hurt by this shift but quickly realized that it was my own doing.

This is not to say fluctuation in weight is bad, but that we must realize what we choose to do to our bodies will influence the way our SO feels towards us on a physical level.

I see your point about physical 'love'.

But I think a smart husband, if he did feel less desire for his wife due to her weight, would hide that thought very carefully! Turn out the lights, pretend he's with JLo or something if he has to, and man up! Especially if It was his babies that got her heavy, not her laziness or self-neglect! :bigsmile:

Ok, I'll drop it.

*sigh* I remember when J.Lo was hot.

Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.

I didn't mean to offend. I meant it more as 'we all deserve to be loved for who we are period', not 'who we are despite our flaws in appearance'.

I find it a little objectifying when women say they workout for their husband's pleasure but who am I to judge.

I workout for me, but I choose not to become overweight again for him. I workout to find my perfection, but love the fast that he has that spark of sexual desire towards me again. I choose to better myself and in doing so have bettered our sex life.

I still don't see how this is a bad thing. Shrug*

It's not how you look...it's your confidence...that has made that better.

You can't assume that. My husband has leaned out considerably in the past 6 months, and I am definitely feeling more frisky in his direction as a result.

EDIT: And I certainly do not consider myself shallow because of it. Looks have a lot to do with it, whether you have made a commitment to love a person 'till death do us part or not.

As long as your boobs are bigger than your stomach....

I wish my BF would work out for mine!!!

guess I have no problem objectifying his squishy butt!!! =D

seriously- I guess what bothers me- is I take time to make sure I look good- I work at this- it's not free. I put in the time and pay for it.
He likes the way it looks. Great (I'd be doing it regardless).

But if you like it so much- why do you think I don't care what you look like? Because guess what... I do. If I put this much effort in- perhaps you should think about putting in some effort for me.

Sounds like the two of you need to sit down and have a talk.

we've had a few... ultimately I started dating him when he wasn't in great shape- I got a new job and finally was able to get serious about working out- I've always been a worker-outer... but my crazy schedule didn't allow me to really train- just to work out.

now that I work steady hours... it's game on. I train- for real. and he seems to think doing 200 hindu squats is the same as squatting 200 lbs on a barbell.

it's infuriating. but he is a grown *kitten* man- I don't appreciate his attitude about it -but he's not a fat pig so that's good enough. I wish he realized if he was actually muscled out and ripped- things would be a lot better. But meh- he's happy with mediocre that's his business.

Totally get where you're coming from. I've heard the same sentiment from both men and women in that same position.

But then they still have to fit over your hips or butt. I cna't wear men's jeans, even if they're the right waist size. They're too small over my hips.

And women have the low and midrise pants, too, which throws it all off.

I just get midrise so they fit my hips and I'm good.

god low rise pants are probably the worst thing to happen to women's jeans since pleats.

Seriously- if you have ANY butt at all- low rise is INSTANT crack city OR front wedgie. It's awful.

Oh, I love mine. And I have a bootie. :bigsmile:

I don't think I've ever even tried on a pair of low rise. The midrise are low enough! I cannot wear jeans or pants that sit at the waist. They look AWFUL on me. My waist is a full 12 inches smaller than my hips, so the cut is just bad. Midrise ae perfect, though. They pretty much always fit just right.

Although, I live in Florida so I spend about 10 months of the year in sundresses, anyway.

The whole "thigh gap" phenomenon is SO annoying. People are so silly. I can't believe that's even a thing. what the eff

If a girl is HOT she is HOT! I don't CARE what the scale says. I have seen girls that look GOOD and weigh MORE than I thought.

And there's been some that look BAD and weigh LESS than I thought..lol.

If they have the extra weight in their boobs or butt that AWESOME!