Babies in the Work Place

Children aren't vermin, they are people. Do other people enter your workplace, like friends or relatives of co-workers? Are you this venomous about their presence or are you just bigoted against children? I am actively teaching my children to respect peoples boundaries, speak politely and try to be friendly to people. It's a shame those values arent more widespread on these forums.

There is a bit of a difference between a screaming child and a grown adult who understands how to behave in an office workplace. Either way, visitors aren't allowed in our office. So friends, family and children are all unwelcome inside my office. My work expects is to work while here. Not visit with or babysit children.

Whilst I agree that, for the most part, children do not belong in the workplace, I think the unadulterated hatred of children is what is really at the root of some of our reactions.

I used to hate children. In fact, I used to hate most people in general. Then I gained an appreciation for life, and, for me, the hatred went away. I actually started to care about people. It has made my life easier and I am much happier for it.

Achrya, I checked. Minimum wage was 5.25 where I was living, more than a decade ago. And shortly after that it was raised to 7.25. This was before you were old enough for a work permit, so that's probably why you don't recollect it.

Also, different people have a different perception of what hate means that doesn't mean they are defining it for you. They are just telling you what they perceived you to be saying. Is it really so difficult to understand that.

Also, if your parents loved you and did not harm you, then yes you are lucky for that. But, I'm sure you will all have some annoying reason why you aren't.

But she did assume there is only one blanket way it makes people feel. Is that not the whole meaning of the "well in my mind this means X and so I just can't fathom Y?" Train of thought? That she sees things one way and can't wrap her brain around another concept?

And since most parents are loving and not cruel by way of evolutionary need, no I would not attribute it to luck. Rather children who have parents that way are outliers (that's why abuse and cruelty against children become such outraged and visceral reactions, because it's nit the norm). Being part of the norm is far from luck I'm afraid. That's like saying your lucky to be born with 10 toes; not really, it's pretty expected.

I'm sorry if you find what I believe to be reasonable assessment and responses to be annoying. While you clearly have different views rest assured I'm able to open my mind, see your point of view, and will not make comments on how I just can't fathom it.

I just think you are taking something for granted by assuming it is the norm. I figured you would have that response. I find that annoying, just like you find children annoying. I also don't recall saying I just couldn't fathom anything. But, if I did, it was probably just me talking about what I am or am not capable of. I can't fathom growing up, being a small child, and not having been abused. That is outside of my range of what I am able to imagine or perceive because it is so far outside of my experience from way back when I was still developing. On the other hand, I am a parent now, so I see my children having a very different, very innocent, happy, safe childhood, and that has opened my mind more to that experience.

Thank you thank you a 10000xs thank you for posting this. People in my work seem to think its a free for all to bring in your kids. I work at the reception desk so I have NO hiding place. I hate kids. I dont care, I dont want to engage just keep them away from me. One guy even PUT A CHAIR NEXT TO MINE AND TOLD HIS KID IT WAS OKAY TO COLOR AT MY DESK BECAUSE SHE 'LIKED ME'. **** everything about that.

Another huge annoyance...I dont want kids, dont push your kids on me. I dont tell you to stop breeding, so stop telling me to have babies!

Any person that tells people that hate children that they should have babies has a screw loose.

OP- It sucks when you have to put up with things at work you aren't supposed to. I can understand how it would be annoying, especially if you don't like kids to start with!
I work on an industrial Mine site and kids aren't allowed on the property... cyanide, arsenic and PAX don't mix with little grub hooks lol
I don't hate kids, love 'em actually... got one of my own, she's fantastic! But, there' s a time and place and it's really inconsiderate for people to push their kids onto you, boundries are important!

Achrya, I checked. Minimum wage was 5.25 where I was living, more than a decade ago. And shortly after that it was raised to 7.25. This was before you were old enough for a work permit, so that's probably why you don't recollect it.

Also, different people have a different perception of what hate means that doesn't mean they are defining it for you. They are just telling you what they perceived you to be saying. Is it really so difficult to understand that.

Also, if your parents loved you and did not harm you, then yes you are lucky for that. But, I'm sure you will all have some annoying reason why you aren't.

But she did assume there is only one blanket way it makes people feel. Is that not the whole meaning of the "well in my mind this means X and so I just can't fathom Y?" Train of thought? That she sees things one way and can't wrap her brain around another concept?

And since most parents are loving and not cruel by way of evolutionary need, no I would not attribute it to luck. Rather children who have parents that way are outliers (that's why abuse and cruelty against children become such outraged and visceral reactions, because it's nit the norm). Being part of the norm is far from luck I'm afraid. That's like saying your lucky to be born with 10 toes; not really, it's pretty expected.

I'm sorry if you find what I believe to be reasonable assessment and responses to be annoying. While you clearly have different views rest assured I'm able to open my mind, see your point of view, and will not make comments on how I just can't fathom it.

I just think you are taking something for granted by assuming it is the norm. I figured you would have that response. I find that annoying, just like you find children annoying.

I don't assume it's the norm, it is the norm. I don't feel lucky for falling into the normal course of things. Grateful, yes, but not lucky.

I don't find children annoying. I find commercials annoying. Children I hate.

I don't recall saying I couldn't fathom something. But, if I did, I was describing the state of my own mind and experience and that does not mean that I am not open to understanding. It actually would mean that I would like to try and gain the understanding. If I say, I can't fathom something, then I am asking for more information and descriptions and things that would help me understand and I am telling you how far away from understanding that I am, so you have that information. Seems pretty logical to me.

When I was 12, my mom gave birth to my little brother. I fell head over heels in love with this baby. When my mom had to go back to work, I voluntarily did much of the work caring for him. I changed diapers, kissed boo-boos, bathed him, dressed him, played with him. He would run to me when he was upset when my mom wasn't home. By the time I was 14 I diagnosed myself with "baby-itis." :laugh: I was completely immersed with wanting to be a mother. No not at 14, but I felt that being a mother was my purpose in life. Whenever a teacher or another adult would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up, I no longer said a novelist or a clothing designer. I said a mommy. That is all I wanted and I could not wait to be ready to do so.

Many years later, when friends and associates and relatives started having children, I began to notice some of them and MANY MANY strangers when I would go out places and their children. I saw screaming crying children who didn't listen, parents who screamed back which did not fix the problem but just added to it, parents who just plain paid no attention to their children, wandering off and touching things they shouldn't be touching, getting in the way of other people. I saw facebook statuses complaining about "wish my kid would go to sleep" "wish my kid would let me clean the house" "wish i had time/money/energy to get a manicure" "wish i could find a babysitter" "wish I didn't have to work 3 jobs and go to school because I have 8 kids."

The more I listened/read the experiences and thoughts of people who actually had children, the more it KILLED my desire to have them myself.

Other than when I'm at work, I go to bed when I want, sleep as long as I want, I spend my money on whatever I want, I have time to do things I enjoy, I don't have to work multiple jobs, I don't have to stress about how I can make sure this human being I brought into the world grows up to be a productive, positive member of society, etc. etc.

To add to this, I have a younger cousin who thinks she is God's gift to motherhood. She has 2 young children, and she is adamant about feeding them healthy/organic food only (good choice), raising them with manners and not spoiling them too much (also good) and never going out to clubs/bars and partying all the time like a lot of younger mothers these days do (also not a bad choice). However, I disagree with her (I have never said this to her) that all of those things make her the most perfect mom ever in the universe, as she seems to think. She takes every opportunity, whether invited or not, even it has NOTHING to do with her at all, to lecture people (including myself) about why they are wrong and she is right, she treats me as if I am a horrible person because I have no desire to have children, and she often misunderstands my reasoning for it. Like a lot of people who have posted in this thread, any intelligent human being understands that children are children and they can't be perfect, what most people have a problem with is the lack of good parenting that many people have these days. I come from a generation of 16 and pregnant. So many girls I went to HS with got pregnant in HS. There's a reason teen pregnancy is frowned upon and it is not just because they are generally not financially capable, or because THEY'RE parents often end up with the burden of raising children they didn't ask for. It is because teenagers DON'T KNOW WTF THEY ARE DOING (for the most part). They don't know what they're doing but what makes it worse is that they think they do, and they will never correct they're complete lack of skills at raising children. The rest of the world is forced to deal with their annoying offspring. There are also plenty of adults that suck at it as well. I think my cousin is a terrible mother, simply because her children are going to grow up thinking they are better than everyone else, and judging people every chance they get, just as she does.

I have literally disowned my cousin because she is the most judgemental, self-righteous see-you-next-tuesday I have ever met in my life. She makes me sick. I'll complain bc I didn't get enough sleep, and she'll say "I never get enough sleep, I have kids." B!TCH, you CHOSE to have kids. I have no kids, therefore I am allowed to be miserable when I am exhausted. YOU are allowed to be miserable if you're exhausted, you just can't blame your kids for it because you're the one who brought them into the world in the first place. Another example is I once posted a picture of a really cool manicure I did myself, and she said I wish I had the time to do my nails. I replied with yea, that's one of the reasons I'm grateful that I don't have children, and she proceeded to lecture me about how children are the most amazing wonderful gifts God could ever bless you with blah blah blah.
Kids are wonderful. Kids are a blessing. But not all people have the desire or are meant to have them. It doesn't mean I hate kids. In fact, I don't hate kids. I hate the parents of the kids who get the hell on my nerves.

End rant LOL

Achrya, I checked. Minimum wage was 5.25 where I was living, more than a decade ago. And shortly after that it was raised to 7.25. This was before you were old enough for a work permit, so that's probably why you don't recollect it.

Also, different people have a different perception of what hate means that doesn't mean they are defining it for you. They are just telling you what they perceived you to be saying. Is it really so difficult to understand that.

Also, if your parents loved you and did not harm you, then yes you are lucky for that. But, I'm sure you will all have some annoying reason why you aren't.

But she did assume there is only one blanket way it makes people feel. Is that not the whole meaning of the "well in my mind this means X and so I just can't fathom Y?" Train of thought? That she sees things one way and can't wrap her brain around another concept?

And since most parents are loving and not cruel by way of evolutionary need, no I would not attribute it to luck. Rather children who have parents that way are outliers (that's why abuse and cruelty against children become such outraged and visceral reactions, because it's nit the norm). Being part of the norm is far from luck I'm afraid. That's like saying your lucky to be born with 10 toes; not really, it's pretty expected.

I'm sorry if you find what I believe to be reasonable assessment and responses to be annoying. While you clearly have different views rest assured I'm able to open my mind, see your point of view, and will not make comments on how I just can't fathom it.

I just think you are taking something for granted by assuming it is the norm. I figured you would have that response. I find that annoying, just like you find children annoying.

I don't assume it's the norm, it is the norm. I don't feel lucky for falling into the normal course of things. Grateful, yes, but not lucky.

I don't find children annoying. I find commercials annoying. Children I hate.

I don't recall saying I couldn't fathom something. But, if I did, I was describing the state of my own mind and experience and that does not mean that I am not open to understanding. It actually would mean that I would like to try and gain the understanding. If I say, I can't fathom something, then I am asking for more information and descriptions and things that would help me understand and I am telling you how far away from understanding that I am, so you have that information. Seems pretty logical to me.

It was a snide reference to someone else.

I asked my doctor if she would take my uterus out... she glared at me and said NO.

Mine said no to...supposedly she knows me better than I do and knows I will "change my mind"

I've been trying to get my tubes tied forever but alas, I'm only 18-20-21-22-23-23-25-26 and with more time I'll change my mind. So now I've got the implant, because 3 years of freedom is the best I can hope for apparently.

I'm on my second implant!!