"Don't lose any more weight!"

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Replies

  • Brainless64
    Brainless64 Posts: 27 Member
    Last time I reached that weight (i'm your height) everyone told me I looked unwell, and in fact I looked and felt much better at around 150, and an off the peg sizer 12 (even a 10 in some styles) even though that is overweight by BMI.

    I am currently at 170 and a size 14, so certainly want to loose 20 poiunds, but as I am older now perhaps I will need to go lower..
  • crash_aly
    crash_aly Posts: 112
    People say this to me all the time and I can honestly say it has never been out of concern. I've decided on a few reasons why....

    1. This is their way of complementing you. They are actually really impressed with your weight loss and want you to know that you look fantastic just the way you are.

    2. You're a lot smaller/skinner than you think. At 5'7 and 155 pounds, I still could lose a few pounds. However, when I looked at a photo of myself the other day I was so tall and skinny, it startled me. So I could understand why telling someone I want to lose an additional 10 pounds would be like..."whyyyyy?"

    3. It's their way of acknowledging your weight loss. Believe it or not, talking about weight is very awkward for people. They want to give you praise for it, but sometimes just don't know how.

    4. I usually get this compliment when I tell people how much I lost. Which makes me believe they don't understand how much 1 pound of fat looks like. When I say 101 pounds, some people could imagine a 101 pound child. That's a lot of weight and I understand when people say "you don't need to lose anymore." It's hard to comprehend. lol

    I think you're reading too much into it. I usually smile and appreciate the fact that someone notices my hard work.

    I agree with this ^^

    It can be hard depending on whom it is coming from and their tone. I have gone through this a lot recently with family and my roommate. I even got lectured about my own body shape (I am quite pear shaped and thus carry most of my weight in my hips, butt, and thighs) and how I need to just accept that I will always be bigger on the bottom than on top. I choose to talk about it when people do say something because it is generally out of concern. I will tell them what my final goal is and have no problem discussing my current weight. I will even educate them on what a healthy weight is for my height and shape. I try to focus on non-scale goals as well, like turning the discussion more to improvements in my riding or sports, etc. I think being open about it helps my family understand that I am being healthy and not endangering my body or well being.

    Often times, the more open I am about it the more it comes out of people that they want to know what they need to do in order to lose weight or they really just want to connect with someone on that subject.
  • Gwen_B
    Gwen_B Posts: 1,018 Member
    They are jealous and don't have the will power to lose weight their selves. Stop when your ready to stop!!
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
    I keep getting told that as well. Thing is I have not lost anything in months, yet they keep thinking I have. One friend who keeps saying it has a daughter with Bulimia & could not get help for it, so they aromatically think I have a problem. I would have if I kept counting calories like I was.

    I get annoyed that people tell me to stop losing more weight, when I know I have not, even though I want to lose just a few more KG.
  • mortyfit
    mortyfit Posts: 354 Member
    I have been maintaining between 160-163 lbs for the past ten months (after my 2-year, 53-lb loss), which is basically my high school weight. At least once a week someone makes a comment about "stop losing weight!" or something similar. At first I tried explaining that I haven't been losing weight, I am where I want to be with that, but that I have been trimming inches off my waist and trying to tone my new body....and I get blank stares. So now I just smile and fake a laugh and move on.
  • Saramelie
    Saramelie Posts: 308 Member


    Plus that comment is better than the other common question/comment I get which is "When are you due?".

    *kitten* yeah! I can't ear that question anymore!! I just want to scream : ``I am not pregnant, I`m FAT!!``. Can`t WAIT to be called skinny!!!! Bring on the ``stop losing weight!``, I`ll be more than happy to ear THAT instead! :-)
  • l_ashley
    l_ashley Posts: 154 Member
    The only time I have told this to someone was when my female cousin lost 30 lbs. She went from 130 to a very slim 100 lbs. She now looks cute as a button, but tiny enough to blow away in a strong wind!
  • skinnybythanksgiving
    skinnybythanksgiving Posts: 159 Member
    Lol. No one has even noticed I've lost 34 pounds total since the middle of July. Well, except my ex husband.

    I would love for someone to say don't lose anymore weight. I've gone from size 12 to a loose 4.

    Anyway, you look great! Congratulations on your weight loss. :flowerforyou:
  • Showcase_Brodown
    Showcase_Brodown Posts: 919 Member
    It's their own insecurities acting up is all. They're trying to cover for the fact that they feel uncomfortable with their own weight.

    This.

    And I think it is partly a compliment, just poorly delivered. Go about your business of achieving your ideal (healthiest) body weight.
  • ArisSarantakos
    ArisSarantakos Posts: 5 Member
    Lose weight until YOU feel comfortable... Of course if your actually anorexic, this could be an issue... but as long as your healthy and comfortable! Me myself I currently weigh 382lbs... Yes I know I do not look it I am 6"6.... my goal weight is 285... which seems high to most but I am at my most comfortable at that weight! So again you do you!
  • mamma_nee
    mamma_nee Posts: 809 Member
    My mom does that to me all the time - I been on a zillion diets and soon as I lose 30lbs , she starts with the - `` You look good now , If you loose any more you will start to look sick .. day in and day out plus she is now 92 so she repeats herself alot ! LOL Mind you , I would be 190 lbs and only 5` tall !!

    I think people do that because they are so used to seeing us big that when we start to lose weight , they just can`t see us smaller then a sibling who has never had a weight problem? We are considered big boned and should remain bigger ! LOL
  • KBGAgent
    KBGAgent Posts: 165 Member
    I get a lot of those as well. Specially from people who are used to seeing me on the chubby side. Others thought that I got ill, others thought I went into a drug regimen. But at the end of the day, all of them does not know how good it feels deep inside if you have reached you goal!

    I agree with this. So many people asked me if I'm sick. I've started saying one of 2 things.
    1) Yes, I'm dying. or
    2) Do I look sick?
  • Momily56
    Momily56 Posts: 9
    Wow. Well I'm a Mom and I have said it to my son who recently lost 130 something pounds. He too is technically not underweight yet but in a sense I'm fearful that if he keeps going he'll disappear. I don't think I ever flat out told him "Don't gain any more weight" even though I could see he was getting too corpulent. Maybe that's the difference. I think it is concern. Mixed with some amount of jealousy....
  • gk03ub
    gk03ub Posts: 99 Member
    There is a word for that and its called "jealousy".
  • PHr34k0wt
    PHr34k0wt Posts: 218 Member
    I've found that you can't win no matter how hard you try. All you can aim for is to love yourself!
    When I was larger, I got lots of comments like "watch out, you can't eat that" or "you've got my genes"
    And when I was smaller I actually got asked by family members seriously if I was getting involved in drugs.
    Yeah, you can't please anyone.
  • Sjenny5891
    Sjenny5891 Posts: 717 Member
    Why do people think its okay to say this? People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight" but the number of friends, family members and patients that say "please dont lose any more weight" to me is astonishing! I'm not even skinny!! I'm a nice healthy 142-145 at 5'4 and at the top end of a 'healthy BMI'. I dunno.....it just annoys me! Anybody else encountering this or criticisms for losing?!

    I get it all the time and I haven't lost any more weight in 6 months. Sometimes I want to look at them and say "Wow look at you. Have you gained weight?" just to see what they do.
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    I had my works' Christmas Party this week. People who have been telling me that I'm too thin suddenly loosened up after a few drinks and were telling me that they wished that they could get in shape as quickly as I have!!!!
  • Tffanie4712
    Tffanie4712 Posts: 115
    Yes all the time I'm normal on the bmi calculator, but my best friend calls me the skinny friend I am not skinny Im still focusing on k making my body more defined and getting down to 135 12lbs to go
  • Tffanie4712
    Tffanie4712 Posts: 115
    Why do people think its okay to say this? People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight" but the number of friends, family members and patients that say "please dont lose any more weight" to me is astonishing! I'm not even skinny!! I'm a nice healthy 142-145 at 5'4 and at the top end of a 'healthy BMI'. I dunno.....it just annoys me! Anybody else encountering this or criticisms for losing?!

    I get it all the time and I haven't lost any more weight in 6 months. Sometimes I want to look at them and say "Wow look at you. Have you gained weight?" just to see what they do.


    Lol you should I'm going to the next time I here it
  • judilockwood
    judilockwood Posts: 134 Member
    I get this a lot too... I have some really supportive friends who I know are pleased for me , but I also have friends /colleagues who are still saying this even though I've been maintaining well and haven't lost for 3 months now. I've even had, 'your face is falling and you'll start to look old' ..-I'm my own worst critique there, its not and I don't! The majority of these comments come from people who try to diet and fail so I'l take it they are jealous - as for the ones that say 'you'l put it all back on'. need I say more! I give up, I am what I am but I wouldn't ***** to someone else in my position ( I know what they've been through) why do they think they have the right to ***** to me? Ignore them. x
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    my mom and aunt got on me just yesterday about how im looking sickly, my bones are popping out, and that people are going to think i have an eating disorder (which i do not). i simply explained to them that if anyone else my size was walking down the street, they would think that person looked healthy, but because they are used to seeing me 100 pounds heavier, they see me as an unhealthy size now. i brought it up to my husband this evening, told him that my mom and aunt think i should gain about 10 pounds, which i WILL NOT DO... and asked him his opinion (thinking he would side with me), and he said, well babe, i think your fine now, but if you lose anymore, my friends ae going to think i have a wife with some major illness... REALLY??? IM 147 POUNDS!!! I AM 5 FOOT 9, AND AT 147 POUNDS, I CAN STILL LOSE ANOTHER 10 POUNDS AND STILL BE CONSIDERED HAT A HEALTHY WEIGHT!
  • Sreneesa
    Sreneesa Posts: 1,170 Member
    People say this to me all the time and I can honestly say it has never been out of concern. I've decided on a few reasons why....

    1. This is their way of complementing you. They are actually really impressed with your weight loss and want you to know that you look fantastic just the way you are.

    2. You're a lot smaller/skinner than you think. At 5'7 and 155 pounds, I still could lose a few pounds. However, when I looked at a photo of myself the other day I was so tall and skinny, it startled me. So I could understand why telling someone I want to lose an additional 10 pounds would be like..."whyyyyy?"

    3. It's their way of acknowledging your weight loss. Believe it or not, talking about weight is very awkward for people. They want to give you praise for it, but sometimes just don't know how.

    4. I usually get this compliment when I tell people how much I lost. Which makes me believe they don't understand how much 1 pound of fat looks like. When I say 101 pounds, some people could imagine a 101 pound child. That's a lot of weight and I understand when people say "you don't need to lose anymore." It's hard to comprehend. lol

    I think you're reading too much into it. I usually smile and appreciate the fact that someone notices my hard work.

    Agree!
  • debraran1
    debraran1 Posts: 521 Member
    I found at work, a lot of people (not usually thin themselves) started telling me this when I hit 150's...still over my BMI but they felt they could tell me to "stop now" but never told me to stop eating when I was gaining the weight. lol
    I would just smile and say, "I'm close" but to some I said, "My doctor and I decided on a healthy weight for my history and body frame (breast cancer 2 close relatives) and that usually makes it stop. They aren't going to argue with my doctor's advice. I worked with someone years ago who was anorexic and that was sad, but she wouldn't listen to anyone and the comments only made it worse. She got help through intervention later and I hope she is doing well.

    To be fair, I was always much thinner until I started working with this office so they aren't used to me thinner but still, to hear them commenting and I'm far from "too thin" was a little surprising. I did smile when I heard an Xtray tech who I have lunch with many times, comment to someone, "Oh , she eats, a lot, you should see her salads and sandwich, she had fruit salad and cookies the other day, mostly healthy but she eats."

    I think there is just a lot of emotional baggage with weight loss, people almost seem happy when others put it back on...see it doesn't work, so I don't have too. I try to never comment on weight unless it's a compliment.
  • denisemroth
    denisemroth Posts: 36 Member
    I've encountered this over the past month with my weight loss and I find it very disrespectful. Nobody ever said "hey, you're getting too fat, you need to stop gaining weight". I'm just within the top range of having a "normal" BMI and very fit and healthy. It's rather hurtful too!
  • piyubole
    piyubole Posts: 15 Member
    There are several threads on this. You know, I am at the point where I just don't respond to that comment. And I never comment on someone's weight. If I notice someone's last weight, I just say "You are looking great, you look better ever time I see you". I truely believe every one is taking care of themselves at any one point in time the best they can with what they have and if they want to change , it's their decision and if they don't want to change, it's their decision....not mine!

    I love this response - so true!!
  • denisemroth
    denisemroth Posts: 36 Member
    I've encountered this over the past month with my weight loss and I find it very disrespectful. Nobody ever said "hey, you're getting too fat, you need to stop gaining weight". I'm just within the top range of having a "normal" BMI and very fit and healthy. It's rather hurtful too!
  • KatiesRunnersHigh
    KatiesRunnersHigh Posts: 16
    I was talking about this with a co-worker the other day. It truly is ridiculous because the people who say this are comfortable with you the weight you are and when you lose 20 or 30 or more, it makes them feel uncomfortable with themselves. Most of them don't even know why and they rationalize it by saying "you're getting too skinny" or "you will look sick". AH news flash, if the person thinks Angelina Jolie is hot as a waif, then we can be a waif too and they just have to deal with it! Just because we were once big doesn't mean we are no longer allowed to be skinny.
    My friend the other day was talking about a co-worker who lost A LOT of weight and she said "she's starting to get way too thin", but it wasn't true at all. And I realized it's just basic psychology. If people are used to you being bigger, they don't easily accept you being thin. It's their issue and not yours.
  • KatiesRunnersHigh
    KatiesRunnersHigh Posts: 16
    SO TRUE. Opposite of what you say, Tons of celebs are 5'9 and weigh 115 and if they gained 10 pounds, people would talk. I've had this issue before too and it really gets to a point where you have to tell people to mind their own business. Until you start refusing to eat, they need to keep their judgements to themselves or stop judging.
  • HanamiDango
    HanamiDango Posts: 456 Member
    It shocks me that people go through this. I got up to 200lbs as a young adult, lost 35 to 165lbs and no one ever said I looked too thin. I have one friend who think my current weight is perfect. I think they need to do some soul searching. The friends is very skinny. I do think the people around us fear change in someone. A new body to them is a new person. It blew my mind a week ago when my partner said a lady he works with thought it was crazy for me to lose weight. I am at 209lbs, 30lbs from being overweight. The lady was a PE teacher. Yeah, speaks volumes.
    I am not going to let anyone around me derail my goals, as long as my goals are healthy. I am so happy to see many people here doing the same things.
  • Confuzzled4ever
    Confuzzled4ever Posts: 2,860 Member
    I was told "don't' you become anorexic!" As if that's something you just choose to become??

    Really.. i'm not all that skinny.. I'm just a lot smaller then I ever was..

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