Is chivalry really dead? :(

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  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I've told my 24 year old daughter to hold out for the guy that will treat her like a princess
    Most of the princesses in stories get locked away in towers, as I recall.
    Only one of them. And she wasn't really a princess until Disney got ahold of her.

    Howeverm princesses were always (in the real world) forced to marry men they'd never met who were often much older in order to solidify political alliances.
  • dayone987
    dayone987 Posts: 645 Member
    This is *just* my opinion, but I feel pretty strongly about it. Chivalry is mostly alive and well, and thank goodness for that. Women would be in a mess of trouble if it ever "went out of style".

    Chivalry, at its core, is based on women being the weaker sex; and hate me if you want, but women *are* the (physically) weaker sex. If you've ever looked at the numbers put up by males and females in the same weight class at a powerlifting competition, there are HUGE disparities. There are exceptions to every rule, but genetically speaking, a man and a woman of equal weight are not equal in strength. Any woman that thinks she is equal in strength to her male counterpart is, statistically, incorrect.

    Chivalry teaches men to be careful with women, to treat them with respect, gentleness and, above all else, to protect them and keep them from harm. Men should know that they are stronger than women, to discourage this and pretend it doesn't exist is to do both men and women a disservice.

    I love that women are empowered, and they should be equal. Equality is defined as the state of being equal, especially in status, rights and opportunities. There is no reason that women should not be held equal in these areas because of a disparity in physical strength. But open your eyes. The ability to feel empowered is a result of society, and it is because of chivalry. Look at places where chivalry is not a concept and you will see women being treated as chattel, being bought and sold and traded as a commodity, being abused and treated as slaves - what you see is nature. Nature is beautiful, but also ugly - and the truth of nature is that the strong prey on the weak. In societies where it isn't ingrained in men that women are to be treated gently, protected, guarded, treated with immense respect and allowed to flourish and be equals, you see subservient women.

    I would be horrified if I ever heard a woman snap at a man for opening a door for her or offering to help her carry something heavy. Yes, you can open your own door, and you are almost positively able to carry that package on your own, but every time a man offers, he is showing you that he's on board. That he's invested in protecting women, that he respects you, that he's there if you ever need him. Next time, it may not be a package or a door, next time it may be someone stronger than you trying to do you harm, and that chivalrous door-opener might be the only thing standing in the way of you and physical harm.

    So to every man that's ever held the door open for me, offered to carry my books for me, pulled over to offer me assistance with changing a tire, or the hundreds of other times you've extended yourself to help me - Thank you. Thank you for letting me know that you respect me, that you see me, and that you're there for me. Thank you for watching over me. May you be blessed by whatever power you believe in.

    People of either sex have gifts and strengths. No one is suggesting that we don't use our abilities to help others where we can. I still haven't really seen reason posted why "chivalrous" men feel that their behavior should extend only to women.

    I wonder how men feel when a women opens a door for them. Or if another man holds the door for them?
  • _KitKat_
    _KitKat_ Posts: 1,066 Member
    Regardless of the dictionary definition of chivalry, we all know what was being asked in this thread.

    Personally I CAN open car doors, pump my gas, open doors to buildings and pay the check, but I always appreciate when a MAN is generous and polite and yes chivalrous.

    My husband always opens doors for people and yes makes a special point for women, he will always pump the gas and let me out of the vehicle at the door so that I do not get wet from rain. He values my opinions treats me as an equal but prefers to be a gentleman. I feel bad for the men that get reprimanded for being chivalrous, to me I just feel that the person acting that way has something to prove and is taking it out on someone who is polite and well mannered.

    When a man is chivalrous he is in know way implying that you are incapable, I like the protection and concern of a man, even though I can help myself.

    Any men reading this please know there are women who appreciate your efforts. As for the women who get easily offended by an open door, I think you have bigger issues regarding your self worth. Personally I am worth the attention and deserve respect, I also respect others and show manners.
  • ElliottTN
    ElliottTN Posts: 1,614 Member
    Chivalry is dead towards the femnazis, other than that all is still alive and well.
  • SCV34
    SCV34 Posts: 2,048 Member
    I live in the south, so I can honestly say that chivalry is NOT dead. It is alive and well where I live:smile:
  • contingencyplan
    contingencyplan Posts: 3,639 Member
    I fail to see why "how you were raised" was a factor in this whole chivalry mess. My parents tried--really tried--to teach me these things, but it was always my nature to question the logical reasons for these behaviors. I could not find a logical reason for it, so I did not honor it.
  • Hiker_Rob
    Hiker_Rob Posts: 5,547 Member
    Chivalry = Respect. It's not dead but dying
  • BobOki
    BobOki Posts: 245 Member
    Once again I stick by my original comment, chivalry is dead and should be. Any special treatment towards women who demand to be our equals makes them exactly the opposite. There are no exceptions to this rule.

    Once again, I need to point out however that all the qualities of chivalry should be practiced to all people all the time. In the modern society we call this "being polite" and this includes everything I have seen in this thread as to what chivalry is. Opening doors, being polite, standing when someone leaves the table, protecting the weaker ectectc but UNLIKE chivalry which bases this only towards the weaker sex that are too poor and helpless to defend themselves, poor things, this should be directed to everyone. We do not have roaming hoards of cut throats that we need to protect the poor helpless women folk from anymore, previous comments of them being physically weaker is equally meaningless as nothing in this day and age requires you to be strong to protect anything. We now have women in combat, women in office, women in police, women in well... everything.

    tl:dr: Chivalry needs to be dead, it is offensive towards women. All the qualities of chivalry should be practiced to EVERYONE all the time by EVERYONE both sexes.
  • kristen49233
    kristen49233 Posts: 385 Member
    I've told my 24 year old daughter to hold out for the guy that will treat her like a princess
    Most of the princesses in stories get locked away in towers, as I recall.

    Perhaps I used "princess" in the wrong context...my bad. Looks like I will have to come up with a different word because I'm sure the first thing a person thinks about when they say princess is someone who's locked away in a tower. <<SMH>>
  • contingencyplan
    contingencyplan Posts: 3,639 Member
    Chivalry = Respect. It's not dead but dying

    Therein lies one of the issues. People have different definitions of chivalry. For some, it's a series of behaviors such as opening doors for women, pulling out chairs for them, things like that. For others it's something else.

    The behaviors themselves I have a personal issue with because I see them as being very hypocritical, especially in regards to how differently you treat women than other men based solely on the fact that they are women. It simply makes no sense to me.
  • born2drum
    born2drum Posts: 731 Member
    No. . . . most women dont even acknowledge it, thats all. Most are ungrateful. Well, in LA at least. But, I dont mind. I still open doors and what not. It's who I am
  • sugboog29
    sugboog29 Posts: 630 Member
    SHHHH....if it is, please don't tell my husband! He still opens doors, lets me order first...all the things his parents taught him a man should do! Now, in turn I fix his meals....lots of popcorn, wash his clothes. We take good care of each other!
  • contingencyplan
    contingencyplan Posts: 3,639 Member
    I've told my 24 year old daughter to hold out for the guy that will treat her like a princess
    Most of the princesses in stories get locked away in towers, as I recall.

    Perhaps I used "princess" in the wrong context...my bad. Looks like I will have to come up with a different word because I'm sure the first thing a person thinks about when they say princess is someone who's locked away in a tower. <<SMH>>

    Honestly, "Princess" makes me think of a selfish woman with an entitlement complex.
  • ZealousMissJJ
    ZealousMissJJ Posts: 454 Member
    Chivalry isn't dead. I know this for a fact :).


    I think a true lady loves chivalry. I can take care of myself just fine, but someone opening the door for you or leading you into a room with their hand on your lower back are the gestures that make a woman love a man forever. It's all in the details.
  • dlionsmane
    dlionsmane Posts: 674 Member
    I don't believe its dead, my hubby still opens the door for me and always unlocks my door for the car first.. :}

    Only a small example but so much this - same here and I appreciate it - I even lean over and open his door for him so he can get in! Not dead in my house and I am SO GLAD it isn't!
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    Not dead, not yet. I see chivalry as being respectful of everyone around you. I still expect the person in front of me to hold the door, just as I will hold the door for the person behind me, regardless of gender, age, etc...

    Examples:
    When boarding an elevator, allow those ON the elevator to step off before boarding yourself.
    Excuse yourself when you step in front of someone at the store.
    Say thank you when someone holds a door open for you.
    Speed up or move to another lane when cars need to get off the ramp.

    I would rather be polite & respectful to someone, even if it's not returned. I work in a hospital, and we have a Code of Excellence we follow here. My manager told me something the other day that was fantastic: "Keep this in the back of your mind: People will always remember how you made them FEEL".
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    This is *just* my opinion, but I feel pretty strongly about it. Chivalry is mostly alive and well, and thank goodness for that. Women would be in a mess of trouble if it ever "went out of style".

    Chivalry, at its core, is based on women being the weaker sex; and hate me if you want, but women *are* the (physically) weaker sex. If you've ever looked at the numbers put up by males and females in the same weight class at a powerlifting competition, there are HUGE disparities. There are exceptions to every rule, but genetically speaking, a man and a woman of equal weight are not equal in strength. Any woman that thinks she is equal in strength to her male counterpart is, statistically, incorrect.

    Chivalry teaches men to be careful with women, to treat them with respect, gentleness and, above all else, to protect them and keep them from harm. Men should know that they are stronger than women, to discourage this and pretend it doesn't exist is to do both men and women a disservice.

    I love that women are empowered, and they should be equal. Equality is defined as the state of being equal, especially in status, rights and opportunities. There is no reason that women should not be held equal in these areas because of a disparity in physical strength. But open your eyes. The ability to feel empowered is a result of society, and it is because of chivalry. Look at places where chivalry is not a concept and you will see women being treated as chattel, being bought and sold and traded as a commodity, being abused and treated as slaves - what you see is nature. Nature is beautiful, but also ugly - and the truth of nature is that the strong prey on the weak. In societies where it isn't ingrained in men that women are to be treated gently, protected, guarded, treated with immense respect and allowed to flourish and be equals, you see subservient women.

    I would be horrified if I ever heard a woman snap at a man for opening a door for her or offering to help her carry something heavy. Yes, you can open your own door, and you are almost positively able to carry that package on your own, but every time a man offers, he is showing you that he's on board. That he's invested in protecting women, that he respects you, that he's there if you ever need him. Next time, it may not be a package or a door, next time it may be someone stronger than you trying to do you harm, and that chivalrous door-opener might be the only thing standing in the way of you and physical harm.

    So to every man that's ever held the door open for me, offered to carry my books for me, pulled over to offer me assistance with changing a tire, or the hundreds of other times you've extended yourself to help me - Thank you. Thank you for letting me know that you respect me, that you see me, and that you're there for me. Thank you for watching over me. May you be blessed by whatever power you believe in.

    I absolutely agree with all of this.

    Once again I stick by my original comment, chivalry is dead and should be. Any special treatment towards women who demand to be our equals makes them exactly the opposite. There are no exceptions to this rule.

    Once again, I need to point out however that all the qualities of chivalry should be practiced to all people all the time. In the modern society we call this "being polite" and this includes everything I have seen in this thread as to what chivalry is. Opening doors, being polite, standing when someone leaves the table, protecting the weaker ectectc but UNLIKE chivalry which bases this only towards the weaker sex that are too poor and helpless to defend themselves, poor things, this should be directed to everyone. We do not have roaming hoards of cut throats that we need to protect the poor helpless women folk from anymore, previous comments of them being physically weaker is equally meaningless as nothing in this day and age requires you to be strong to protect anything. We now have women in combat, women in office, women in police, women in well... everything.

    tl:dr: Chivalry needs to be dead, it is offensive towards women. All the qualities of chivalry should be practiced to EVERYONE all the time by EVERYONE both sexes.

    Equality between men and women was and is fought for by women who want the same pay as men, the same career choices as men, the right to vote, etc. It was nothing about protesting against men holding doors open for women, or any other ‘special treatment’ you may consider chivalry to be. It often sounds to me that men that dislike chivalry because women fought for equality hold a grudge against that equality, but that’s just my opinion.
    Them being physically weaker is not meaningless at all, read the comment that I quoted above yours. For example, my partner always takes any heavy shopping from me when we go out, not because I’m incapable of carrying it, but because it’s far easier for him than me. I certainly do not find chivalry offensive.

    Having said that, I agree that it applies to both sexes. I would certainly never slam a door in a guys face just because he is a man.
  • BobOki
    BobOki Posts: 245 Member
    Once again respecting people and being polite to them is not chivalry, it's being polite and should be done to everyone regardless of sex. Chivalry is the offensive and sexist act of doing exceptional acts to women that you are not expected to do to men in the name of the weaker sex who can't do for themselves. Just like we no longer stone people who cheat on their mates, we also no longer need to "protect" the weaker sex who is no longer the "weaker" sex and fights right along side men in battle.

    Time to drop the special attention for WOMEN only and start doing it for everyone by everyone. Let the sexism end.
  • Vince_1964
    Vince_1964 Posts: 359 Member
    Being chivalrous means to treat others with courtesy and generosity - it is not meant only for men to be courteous to women. Having common courtesy might mean holding a door open for someone else - regardless of gender; saying "thank you" to others for a kindness directed toward you; helping someone in the grocery store to pick things up that they might have knocked over; etec, etc.

    I try to be polite and respectful to others, regardless of gender, age, color, etc .... and in general, I see most other people act the same way. So .. to answer the question posed by the OP, NO, chivalry is not dead.
  • leftyjace
    leftyjace Posts: 304 Member
    Wow. Talk about a thread blowing up overnight. I wake up to 6 pages more stuff.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    Once again respecting people and being polite to them is not chivalry, it's being polite and should be done to everyone regardless of sex. Chivalry is the offensive and sexist act of doing exceptional acts to women that you are not expected to do to men in the name of the weaker sex who can't do for themselves. Just like we no longer stone people who cheat on their mates, we also no longer need to "protect" the weaker sex who is no longer the "weaker" sex and fights right along side men in battle.

    Time to drop the special attention for WOMEN only and start doing it for everyone by everyone. Let the sexism end.

    I would like to point out that stoning cheating women does still happen in some countries.

    You have again shoved chivalry and equality together. The two may have gone hand in hand a long time ago, but now it is just being a gentleman. My partner does things for me that he would not do for a man, such as holding the door open for me or carrying my shopping, not because he thinks I am weaker and cannot do it myself. He does it because he cares about and respects me.

    I reiterate what I said before:

    It often sounds to me that men that dislike chivalry because women fought for equality hold a grudge against that equality, but that’s just my opinion.
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
    TL/DR, but the first question I always have is what do you mean when you say "chivalry"? There are, believe it or not, a few variantions on the theme running around.

    A challenge is that, as equality has grown, what used to be considered special, chivalrous, behavior exhibited towards women may have mixed with other mannerisms. I, for example, will hold a door open for anyone, not just a lady. It's not a matter of chivalry, but general respect.

    But, if I'm dating someone, I will open the car door for her (to include going around the car to open it for her), but if it's just a female coworker riding shotgun, I don't. Similarly, if I'm at a formal dinner, I still stand up when ladies arrive at / leave the table, but I don't do it if I'm having lunch with coworkers.

    So you may be looking for chivalrous behavior when the males around you are merely in "peer respect", not "charming gentleman", mode.


    But another question is "do you behave in a manner that attracts a chivalrous individual"? This is a case where opposites repel and likes attract. If you're twerking in a club, or you're the kind who screams out "wooooooo!" while holding a neon-colored drink over your head, don't expect to always attract the chivalrous type. I've come across women online who bemoan the absence of chivalry, but then most of their profile pictures show them in "party girl" not "classly lady" mode. And that applies to guys, too- don't expect to meet a classy lady while you're muddin' or acting the fool. (It may still happen, just don't plan on it.)
  • paultireland
    paultireland Posts: 285 Member
    Chivalry is dead and women killed it.
  • Toblave
    Toblave Posts: 244 Member
    This is *just* my opinion, but I feel pretty strongly about it. Chivalry is mostly alive and well, and thank goodness for that. Women would be in a mess of trouble if it ever "went out of style".

    Chivalry, at its core, is based on women being the weaker sex; and hate me if you want, but women *are* the (physically) weaker sex. If you've ever looked at the numbers put up by males and females in the same weight class at a powerlifting competition, there are HUGE disparities. There are exceptions to every rule, but genetically speaking, a man and a woman of equal weight are not equal in strength. Any woman that thinks she is equal in strength to her male counterpart is, statistically, incorrect.

    Chivalry teaches men to be careful with women, to treat them with respect, gentleness and, above all else, to protect them and keep them from harm. Men should know that they are stronger than women, to discourage this and pretend it doesn't exist is to do both men and women a disservice.

    I love that women are empowered, and they should be equal. Equality is defined as the state of being equal, especially in status, rights and opportunities. There is no reason that women should not be held equal in these areas because of a disparity in physical strength. But open your eyes. The ability to feel empowered is a result of society, and it is because of chivalry. Look at places where chivalry is not a concept and you will see women being treated as chattel, being bought and sold and traded as a commodity, being abused and treated as slaves - what you see is nature. Nature is beautiful, but also ugly - and the truth of nature is that the strong prey on the weak. In societies where it isn't ingrained in men that women are to be treated gently, protected, guarded, treated with immense respect and allowed to flourish and be equals, you see subservient women.

    I would be horrified if I ever heard a woman snap at a man for opening a door for her or offering to help her carry something heavy. Yes, you can open your own door, and you are almost positively able to carry that package on your own, but every time a man offers, he is showing you that he's on board. That he's invested in protecting women, that he respects you, that he's there if you ever need him. Next time, it may not be a package or a door, next time it may be someone stronger than you trying to do you harm, and that chivalrous door-opener might be the only thing standing in the way of you and physical harm.

    I agree with this also.
  • Loss4TheWin
    Loss4TheWin Posts: 249


    You have again shoved chivalry and equality together. The two may have gone hand in hand a long time ago, but now it is just being a gentleman. My partner does things for me that he would not do for a man, such as holding the door open for me or carrying my shopping, not because he thinks I am weaker and cannot do it myself. He does it because he cares about and respects me.

    I agree.

    Chivalry and Equality are not mutually exclusive. Equality exists where it does now because Chivalry paved the way. If the strong weren't willing to fight for, protect and respect the weak and the subjugated, there would be no equality.

    Also, chivalry extends past simple "good manners". Good manners involve saying please and thank you, holding the door open for someone behind you, saying excuse me when you accidentally bump into someone. Chivalry involves more than simply saying "excuse me", its that and more. It's seeing someone being mistreated, seeing someone struggle, or be taken advantage of or harmed and feeling it your duty to intervene. A person with impeccable manners may say "Pardon me" as they squeeze past someone getting mugged and be completely within the boundaries of pure politeness. A chivalrous person will intervene.
  • contingencyplan
    contingencyplan Posts: 3,639 Member
    This is *just* my opinion, but I feel pretty strongly about it. Chivalry is mostly alive and well, and thank goodness for that. Women would be in a mess of trouble if it ever "went out of style".

    Chivalry, at its core, is based on women being the weaker sex; and hate me if you want, but women *are* the (physically) weaker sex. If you've ever looked at the numbers put up by males and females in the same weight class at a powerlifting competition, there are HUGE disparities. There are exceptions to every rule, but genetically speaking, a man and a woman of equal weight are not equal in strength. Any woman that thinks she is equal in strength to her male counterpart is, statistically, incorrect.

    Chivalry teaches men to be careful with women, to treat them with respect, gentleness and, above all else, to protect them and keep them from harm. Men should know that they are stronger than women, to discourage this and pretend it doesn't exist is to do both men and women a disservice.

    I love that women are empowered, and they should be equal. Equality is defined as the state of being equal, especially in status, rights and opportunities. There is no reason that women should not be held equal in these areas because of a disparity in physical strength. But open your eyes. The ability to feel empowered is a result of society, and it is because of chivalry. Look at places where chivalry is not a concept and you will see women being treated as chattel, being bought and sold and traded as a commodity, being abused and treated as slaves - what you see is nature. Nature is beautiful, but also ugly - and the truth of nature is that the strong prey on the weak. In societies where it isn't ingrained in men that women are to be treated gently, protected, guarded, treated with immense respect and allowed to flourish and be equals, you see subservient women.

    I would be horrified if I ever heard a woman snap at a man for opening a door for her or offering to help her carry something heavy. Yes, you can open your own door, and you are almost positively able to carry that package on your own, but every time a man offers, he is showing you that he's on board. That he's invested in protecting women, that he respects you, that he's there if you ever need him. Next time, it may not be a package or a door, next time it may be someone stronger than you trying to do you harm, and that chivalrous door-opener might be the only thing standing in the way of you and physical harm.

    I agree with this also.

    I fail to see what the point she's making (which I agree with) has anything to do with opening doors for her or offering to help her carry something. I just don't see a link. Is she so physically weak she's unable to pen the door? Or carry the package? If not, then I'm sorry but it seems totally unrelated.
  • BobOki
    BobOki Posts: 245 Member


    Also, chivalry extends past simple "good manners". Good manners involve saying please and thank you, holding the door open for someone behind you, saying excuse me when you accidentally bump into someone. Chivalry involves more than simply saying "excuse me", its that and more. It's seeing someone being mistreated, seeing someone struggle, or be taken advantage of or harmed and feeling it your duty to intervene. A person with impeccable manners may say "Pardon me" as they squeeze past someone getting mugged and be completely within the boundaries of pure politeness. A chivalrous person will intervene.

    I do not call that chivalry, I call that morally just, or being a decent human. Once again, chivalry is FOR WOMEN ONLY, hence why I am glad it is dying. NO act that you bring up as chivalrous should be done only to a woman, and not to a man as well, nothing. And any woman that expects to be treated one way but would not do the same for the opposite sex, well you are a shallow selfish waste of my time and I hope that you are treated as badly as you treat others. We would be much better off if we lived life more like the golden rule, doing to others as we want done to us, not acting like we are a princess who is also an equal but should be treated differently than we treat others... we have a word for that, hypocrite.
  • Loss4TheWin
    Loss4TheWin Posts: 249
    If you think a man opens a door for you because he thinks you are incapable of opening a door, you are missing the plot. Trust me, he knows full well you’re capable of opening that door. What he’s doing is a small gesture, a secret handshake if you will, that has been agreed upon by generations upon generations. It's a signal that he is a chivalrous gentleman. The opportunity to slay dragons for a woman may not present itself daily, so women may forget that they are cared for and protected if it weren't for these little secret handshakes embedded in society. Every time a man opens a door for you, pulls your chair out for you, offers to help you carry something heavy, he is sending a signal of respect.

    Do you think the Queen opens her own doors? Hell no. Is she capable of it? Honey, she can give birth, rule countries, declare wars, that door knob is no rubiks cube to her. People don't open doors for her or carry heavy stuff for her because she is weak or too stupid to figure it out - they do it to show respect for her. Those gestures don't put us down or hold us back, they empower us. They are a celebration of our power and position in society. We no longer have to meekly follow our men and behave like beasts of burden because we are mere chattel. Not only are we powerful equals, but men acknowledge this by jumping to our aid, opening doors for us, etc. It's a sign of reverence.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    If you think a man opens a door for you because he thinks you are incapable of opening a door, you are missing the plot. Trust me, he knows full well you’re capable of opening that door. What he’s doing is a small gesture, a secret handshake if you will, that has been agreed upon by generations upon generations. It's a signal that he is a chivalrous gentleman. The opportunity to slay dragons for a woman may not present itself daily, so women may forget that they are cared for and protected if it weren't for these little secret handshakes embedded in society. Every time a man opens a door for you, pulls your chair out for you, offers to help you carry something heavy, he is sending a signal of respect.

    Do you think the Queen opens her own doors? Hell no. Is she capable of it? Honey, she can give birth, rule countries, declare wars, that door knob is no rubiks cube to her. People don't open doors for her or carry heavy stuff for her because she is weak or too stupid to figure it out - they do it to show respect for her. Those gestures don't put us down or hold us back, they empower us. They are a celebration of our power and position in society. We no longer have to meekly follow our men and behave like beasts of burden because we are mere chattel. Not only are we powerful equals, but men acknowledge this by jumping to our aid, opening doors for us, etc. It's a sign of reverence.

    . . . and what is the equivalent? What do women do to show respect for men?
  • Toblave
    Toblave Posts: 244 Member
    If you think a man opens a door for you because he thinks you are incapable of opening a door, you are missing the plot. Trust me, he knows full well you’re capable of opening that door. What he’s doing is a small gesture, a secret handshake if you will, that has been agreed upon by generations upon generations. It's a signal that he is a chivalrous gentleman. The opportunity to slay dragons for a woman may not present itself daily, so women may forget that they are cared for and protected if it weren't for these little secret handshakes embedded in society. Every time a man opens a door for you, pulls your chair out for you, offers to help you carry something heavy, he is sending a signal of respect.

    Do you think the Queen opens her own doors? Hell no. Is she capable of it? Honey, she can give birth, rule countries, declare wars, that door knob is no rubiks cube to her. People don't open doors for her or carry heavy stuff for her because she is weak or too stupid to figure it out - they do it to show respect for her. Those gestures don't put us down or hold us back, they empower us. They are a celebration of our power and position in society. We no longer have to meekly follow our men and behave like beasts of burden because we are mere chattel. Not only are we powerful equals, but men acknowledge this by jumping to our aid, opening doors for us, etc. It's a sign of reverence.

    Well said :-)

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