How to Tell if Your Date Is Married?

13

Replies

  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    If he never invites you to his house. Or if you suggest it, he tries to come up with an alternative every time

    Basically this.

    I am married and never wear any rings.
  • Phildog47
    Phildog47 Posts: 255 Member
    I don't know how long you have been seeing her, but if she's THAT secretive that you can't ask questions, then you shouldn't care that she's married or not.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    she said she was divorced. she also has 3 kids.

    Never date a single mom. 'Nuff said.

    Wow... so as a single mother, I'm no longer desirable as a partner for another human being? I am now unworthy of love and companionship because I have a child and was intelligent enough to leave an abusive ex? Well crap :sad:
    yeah no doubt, I woulda missed out on a lot of good ones in my 20's ;-) \m/
  • Phildog47
    Phildog47 Posts: 255 Member
    If he never invites you to his house. Or if you suggest it, he tries to come up with an alternative every time

    Basically this.

    I am married and never wear any rings.

    Does this mean you are a ho ho ho? :laugh:
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    Okay, how long has she been divorced?

    There may be some dynamic going on there where she doesn't want anyone to know yet she is dating. Her ex may give her a hard time, he may hear about it from friends/relatives, etc.

    If she is a working mother, with 3 kids, she may not have time to keep up her home like she would like it, and so doesn't want anyone to come over. It's very normal for her to want to shelter the kids and not have a new man around until she is sure.

    If this is too much baggage, then cut her loose. Ask yourself if you are ready to take on a ready made family long term, and if you have doubts, cut her loose.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    this is a serious post and any help would be appreciated. She hasn't invited me to her house and we've been dating for close to 3 months. also, she hasn't introduced me to anyone. i find this very strange

    Don't you know where she lives? You can't visit, drive by? Have a friend ring the doorbell and ask for the man of the house.

    i do not know where she lives. she never invites me over. she always wants to meet at places hence my doubt. i dont have children but you would think her ex would have the children from time to time permitting her time to spend at her house? she has even mentioned that her children are at her ex's. i have invited her over plenty of times.

    I would not consider introducing my daughter to somebody I was dating after three months. Does she have her daughter all te time though? Like it seems you should be able to have a night in at her place.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    If he never invites you to his house. Or if you suggest it, he tries to come up with an alternative every time


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  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    she said she was divorced. she also has 3 kids.

    Never date a single mom. 'Nuff said.

    This statement makes me wish I had more middle fingers...
  • LFDBabs
    LFDBabs Posts: 297 Member
    she said she was divorced. she also has 3 kids.

    Never date a single mom. 'Nuff said.

    Wow... so as a single mother, I'm no longer desirable as a partner for another human being? I am now unworthy of love and companionship because I have a child and was intelligent enough to leave an abusive ex? Well crap :sad:

    ^^THIS TIMES TEN^^

    Umm....how about never date a f *tard that stereotypes "single moms"?? Seriously dude.... Single moms are some of the most strong women on the planet. We are mother AND father, disciplinarian, teacher, chef and cleaning lady. Those of us that have the TIME and energy to date AND have the respect and dignity to not have a revolving door of men coming into the house get crap from guys like you??

    OP - perhaps, if she has three children in the home, she is being cautious and wants to make sure that you are BOTH serious and in this for the right reasons before she is comfortable bringing you into her home to meet her children. If this is the case, I would highly respect that decision as opposed to being scared off. It's a sign of a classy lady that has her s**t together!!

    That's "nuff said"
  • CassandraBurgos83
    CassandraBurgos83 Posts: 544 Member
    Spokeo or background check.... Spy/stalk...hire a detective... watch cheaters to see if she has been on there before...Follow her home etc etc

    Also works in losing a gal/guy in less then 48 hrs
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    she said she was divorced. she also has 3 kids.

    Never date a single mom. 'Nuff said.

    Wow... so as a single mother, I'm no longer desirable as a partner for another human being? I am now unworthy of love and companionship because I have a child and was intelligent enough to leave an abusive ex? Well crap :sad:

    As a single dad w/custody, I could never date a single mom. But my reasons revolve around how my son and I are, and I don't feel like I could give another person's kid(s) what they would need as long as my son is in my life full time. However, try telling single moms in the dating scene that, and they go batsh!t. It takes a special kind of person to date someone with kids, so don't take it personally.
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    she said she was divorced. she also has 3 kids.

    Never date a single mom. 'Nuff said.

    Wow :huh:
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Okay, how long has she been divorced?

    There may be some dynamic going on there where she doesn't want anyone to know yet she is dating. Her ex may give her a hard time, he may hear about it from friends/relatives, etc.

    If she is a working mother, with 3 kids, she may not have time to keep up her home like she would like it, and so doesn't want anyone to come over. It's very normal for her to want to shelter the kids and not have a new man around until she is sure.

    If this is too much baggage, then cut her loose. Ask yourself if you are ready to take on a ready made family long term, and if you have doubts, cut her loose.

    This!
  • IPAkiller
    IPAkiller Posts: 711 Member
    If he never invites you to his house. Or if you suggest it, he tries to come up with an alternative every time


    kat-s-angry-face-o.gif
    post-22001-You-need-to-get-back-in-the-ki-gHwk.gif
  • fitnessbugg
    fitnessbugg Posts: 141 Member
    I think your phone conversations are key. Can you call at different times of the day and she's open to talking to you? Does she seem strange on the phone? Same thing the other way. Does she call you during the daytime, at night, on the weekends? I don't think you have to "stalk" her in any way. That would be creepy. You should break it off before doing that. Just be perceptive when you talk to her.
  • Briargrey
    Briargrey Posts: 498 Member
    Rather than ask her if she's married (aka basically stating flat out 'hey, I don't trust you' and potentially making life more difficult), why not just sit down and talk to her about your actual concerns, not the conclusion you're hypothesizing based off those concerns? In short - mention that it feels weird that after 3 months, you don't know where she lives and you don't ever go over. But, take some advice from this thread, and since a potential reason may be that she isn't ready for you to meet her kids, then also let her know that you understand it may be related to her kids, and that's okay, but you're just looking to open up lines of communication and talk about it.

    If she won't talk about it - the reasons why don't matter; run away, it's a bad relationship. If you can't talk about items and learn to communicate, then it's not worth it, in my opinion.

    She could have had some really bad experiences with having someone over or letting someone close, and maybe she's being super paranoid and/or cautious. Maybe it is the kid thing. Maybe it's that she's still married. Or, she's divorced but the ex still lives with her and she doesn't feel comfortable enough yet talking to you about her unusual circumstances.

    There could be lots of reasons - and without good communication, you'll never know.
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
    Aren't you friends with her on FB yet?

    she said she doesn't use her facebook

    This made me go hmmmmm

    Off topic a little but when I was 40 and had two teenagers at home I was dating a gal who was never married and had no kids. She was very successful, had a 6 figure income and owned her own home. One day I was at her house and my daughter called because her car wouldn’t start and the girlfriend answers the phone and while handing me the phone she says “it’s your kids again” It wasn’t long after that statement I turned in my garage door opener. =)
  • Gordon_L
    Gordon_L Posts: 4,475 Member
    It's never a good sign if her husband drops her off to your date.

    Ha Ha - Crackin' me up!
  • Mahihkan
    Mahihkan Posts: 162
    A wedding ring????

    On the wrong finger!
  • Fridaklo77
    Fridaklo77 Posts: 124
    She could have been hurt before, trust issues herself. Take it slow, be there and eventually if she may open up to you. When you meet the right person things just fall into place.
  • jbonow1231
    jbonow1231 Posts: 75 Member
    Won't give you a home phone number?

    People still have landlines these days?
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    If he never invites you to his house. Or if you suggest it, he tries to come up with an alternative every time


    kat-s-angry-face-o.gif
    post-22001-You-need-to-get-back-in-the-ki-gHwk.gif


    large.gif
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Aren't you friends with her on FB yet?

    she said she doesn't use her facebook

    This sounds a bit odd to me. I know some people don't use FB, but everyone I know does with the exception of maybe 2 people. Also, I busted a guy once who lied to me about being married by finding him on FB when he said he didn't use it anymore. It is possible, but it seems a bit strange to me.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Ask them straight out....are you married?

    I tried that, and he said no. You know how I found out he was married? When his wife responded to my text one day with "home sick, but the wife is taking care of me." I'll get a strike for the rest of the conversation, but it ended with her calling me. We actually became friends after that. Weird.
  • Soccermavrick
    Soccermavrick Posts: 405 Member
    I am not reading everyone else, but I will ask two questions: 1) Why do you think she is married? Has she done something to make you suspect it, and it sounds like you asked out-right? 2) Are you secure with yourself, or is some insecurity that you have playing a role in this?

    If it is the later then I suggest you find a way to build confidence in yourself. And learn to love yourself.
    If it is the first, well, then you need to find a way, or the reality is it is not going to work. Trust is one of the hallmarks of a successful long-term relationship. True with three children she might be gun shy, but if she really likes you too, then she has to understand, otherwise maybe she is not in the right place for this.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    Aren't you friends with her on FB yet?

    she said she doesn't use her facebook
    A single mom with 3 kids doesn't use her Facebook... uh-huh... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • sunnyskies1780
    sunnyskies1780 Posts: 24 Member
    As a single mom who dates, can I say that opening your life up to someone you have been casually dating for three months can be too soon for some people? It isn't about the kids being at the house, it is giving the address of the house where your children live to someone who you may not know all that well.

    It is different with everyone, and it is different from guy to guy, but I certainly don't give out a lot of personal details - unusual last name, address etc. until I really know someone.

    It sounds like she is not there yet, and that may be a sign in and of itself. I think it has nothing at all to do with her being married, and everything to do with her comfort levels.
  • NeonHeartz444
    NeonHeartz444 Posts: 227
    Yeah.. I think a wedding ring tells you if she's married.. (or he)
  • wardances
    wardances Posts: 42
    A wedding ring????

    While the majority of people do wear them, there are also those couples that don't. My parents never did nor do my husband and I.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    I think the person I am dating is married. What are the signs to look for?

    Puts his ring back on, after he "anoints" your back.

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