How to Tell if Your Date Is Married?

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  • jbonow1231
    jbonow1231 Posts: 75 Member
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    Won't give you a home phone number?

    People still have landlines these days?
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    If he never invites you to his house. Or if you suggest it, he tries to come up with an alternative every time


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  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    Aren't you friends with her on FB yet?

    she said she doesn't use her facebook

    This sounds a bit odd to me. I know some people don't use FB, but everyone I know does with the exception of maybe 2 people. Also, I busted a guy once who lied to me about being married by finding him on FB when he said he didn't use it anymore. It is possible, but it seems a bit strange to me.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    Ask them straight out....are you married?

    I tried that, and he said no. You know how I found out he was married? When his wife responded to my text one day with "home sick, but the wife is taking care of me." I'll get a strike for the rest of the conversation, but it ended with her calling me. We actually became friends after that. Weird.
  • Soccermavrick
    Soccermavrick Posts: 405 Member
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    I am not reading everyone else, but I will ask two questions: 1) Why do you think she is married? Has she done something to make you suspect it, and it sounds like you asked out-right? 2) Are you secure with yourself, or is some insecurity that you have playing a role in this?

    If it is the later then I suggest you find a way to build confidence in yourself. And learn to love yourself.
    If it is the first, well, then you need to find a way, or the reality is it is not going to work. Trust is one of the hallmarks of a successful long-term relationship. True with three children she might be gun shy, but if she really likes you too, then she has to understand, otherwise maybe she is not in the right place for this.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
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    Aren't you friends with her on FB yet?

    she said she doesn't use her facebook
    A single mom with 3 kids doesn't use her Facebook... uh-huh... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • sunnyskies1780
    sunnyskies1780 Posts: 24 Member
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    As a single mom who dates, can I say that opening your life up to someone you have been casually dating for three months can be too soon for some people? It isn't about the kids being at the house, it is giving the address of the house where your children live to someone who you may not know all that well.

    It is different with everyone, and it is different from guy to guy, but I certainly don't give out a lot of personal details - unusual last name, address etc. until I really know someone.

    It sounds like she is not there yet, and that may be a sign in and of itself. I think it has nothing at all to do with her being married, and everything to do with her comfort levels.
  • NeonHeartz444
    NeonHeartz444 Posts: 227
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    Yeah.. I think a wedding ring tells you if she's married.. (or he)
  • wardances
    wardances Posts: 42
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    A wedding ring????

    While the majority of people do wear them, there are also those couples that don't. My parents never did nor do my husband and I.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    I think the person I am dating is married. What are the signs to look for?

    Puts his ring back on, after he "anoints" your back.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    this is a serious post and any help would be appreciated. She hasn't invited me to her house and we've been dating for close to 3 months. also, she hasn't introduced me to anyone. i find this very strange

    It is strange. My spider sense would be tingling, big time.
  • inside_lap
    inside_lap Posts: 738 Member
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    Dating for three months and you still don't trust her? Time to move on, buddy.

    This!
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    A wedding ring????

    While the majority of people do wear them, there are also those couples that don't. My parents never did nor do my husband and I.

    I don't wear mine, don't want to glove my finger while rock climbing.
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2759628/
  • DavidC1857
    DavidC1857 Posts: 149 Member
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    Rather than ask her if she's married (aka basically stating flat out 'hey, I don't trust you' and potentially making life more difficult), why not just sit down and talk to her about your actual concerns, not the conclusion you're hypothesizing based off those concerns? In short - mention that it feels weird that after 3 months, you don't know where she lives and you don't ever go over. But, take some advice from this thread, and since a potential reason may be that she isn't ready for you to meet her kids, then also let her know that you understand it may be related to her kids, and that's okay, but you're just looking to open up lines of communication and talk about it.

    If she won't talk about it - the reasons why don't matter; run away, it's a bad relationship. If you can't talk about items and learn to communicate, then it's not worth it, in my opinion.

    She could have had some really bad experiences with having someone over or letting someone close, and maybe she's being super paranoid and/or cautious. Maybe it is the kid thing. Maybe it's that she's still married. Or, she's divorced but the ex still lives with her and she doesn't feel comfortable enough yet talking to you about her unusual circumstances.

    There could be lots of reasons - and without good communication, you'll never know.

    This post makes WAY too much sense to be on the internet.
  • _funrungirl
    _funrungirl Posts: 145 Member
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    If you are having doubts at the 3 month mark, its probably time to move on.
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
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    So, you've never been to her house and she has never been over to your place. You've only met in public places and you don't even know where she lives.

    Does she provide any kind of business services that you pay for? Like do you buy insurance from her or take your cat to her for medical treatment?

    I suspect that maybe she doesn't even think you are dating, but are merely friends, colleagues or thinks of you as a client.

    To know for sure, invite her to your home the next time you date. If she refuses to visit you at home, you aren't dating. It is time to move on.

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