What causes failure?

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Replies

  • hazeljordan1974
    hazeljordan1974 Posts: 107 Member
    For me every time I gain weight back it is a mix of:-
    Yay! I've done it, now I'm skinny I can eat what I like.
    Complacency, just not keeping my eye on the goal
    Destructive relationships when I just eat what they're eating and forget my own needs.

    It only takes 10 extra calories a day to put on a lb in a year - that is two skittles a day. Just think, if you ate an extra 14 skittles a day (and most of us could do that without even thinking) that's a full stone in weight (14lbs to the members outside of the UK) every year - with that factor of error it is little wonder we pile on the pounds - no single person goes to bed normal weight and wakes up obese - it goes on one tiny pound at a time so we don't notice it really, until that day when we can't wear last year's pants, dress or whatever.

    I read this book - http://www.amazon.com/then-just-stay-fat-ebook/dp/B008XJKQUY and carry it with me most of the time, it keeps me on the straight and narrow, although this time round I have only maintained for 3 months - I'm hoping to keep it off this time.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    For me every time I gain weight back it is a mix of:-
    Yay! I've done it, now I'm skinny I can eat what I like.
    Complacency, just not keeping my eye on the goal
    Destructive relationships when I just eat what they're eating and forget my own needs.

    It only takes 10 extra calories a day to put on a lb in a year - that is two skittles a day. Just think, if you ate an extra 14 skittles a day (and most of us could do that without even thinking) that's a full stone in weight (14lbs to the members outside of the UK) every year - with that factor of error it is little wonder we pile on the pounds - no single person goes to bed normal weight and wakes up obese - it goes on one tiny pound at a time so we don't notice it really, until that day when we can't wear last year's pants, dress or whatever.

    I read this book - http://www.amazon.com/then-just-stay-fat-ebook/dp/B008XJKQUY and carry it with me most of the time, it keeps me on the straight and narrow, although this time round I have only maintained for 3 months - I'm hoping to keep it off this time.

    That's a great perspective! Thanks!
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    I think a lot of people fail because they think they are done. I used to think this way. Diet, lose weight, go back to not paying attention. Now I know I will need to weigh at least weekly and be ready to take action if I am over my maximum number. I never want to diet again.
    ^^Pretty much this^^
  • scottyg70
    scottyg70 Posts: 388 Member
    There can be a myriad of reasons why. A major ilness, a huge change in their life, lack of discipline and/or dedication etc.. However, I think the biggest reason people fail is they look at this as a short term endeavour. That, when they reach their goal, the weight just stays off. I hate when people use the word "journey". To me, at least, the word journey means you're going to arrive somewhere. Then what? I don't have numbers or stats but I'd say it's a safe bet that those you see who are successful, view their eating and exercise as a lifestly change. Something permanent. I think when people start figuring that out, they'll succeed.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I wasn't sure where to post this question, so I figure I would ask those that are trying to maintain. Lately I have seen several people posting things like "Back to MFP again". I've seen a lot of people on here talking about how they lost weight and then gained some or all of it back so they are back on MFP. Why do people fail? Right now I have the drive in me to lose weight. Once it is lost, I don't want it back. What makes maintaining hard? What can I do to prepare myself better?

    Basically, people talk a good talk about "lifestyle change" but fail to even remotely understand what that actually means let alone put it into practice. People diet and all they have their eyes on some arbitrary finish line (goal weight) rather than seeing the bigger picture...health, nutrition, and fitness are lifetime endeavors, not something you just stop because you get to some arbitrary number on the scale.

    Also, people practice unsustainable dieting practices while they're cutting rather than really learning how to eat...what a serving size of something is...how to eat and enjoy "bad" foods that they love in moderation and proper portion...and generally fail to learn proper nutrition.

    Lastly, people fail to set independent fitness goals for themselves...for many, if not most, fitness and exercise is all about losing weight rather than actual fitness and general health and well being...because they so closely associate exercise with losing weight, they just stop when they hit that number on the scale...finish line. In reality, exercise is far more important to maintenance than it is losing...if you stop exercising I can pretty much guarantee you'll put the weight back on.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    no discipline.

    Pretty much.

    I think most people who head into the process of losing a lot of weight have this idea that once the weight is gone, they can eat whatever they want. And even people who come to think rationally about it and understand that it will require lifelong vigilance will get tired of being in a deficit and tired of turning down things they want and tired of feeling guilty for having "off" days. And that can turn into a pseudo-binge cycle where you end up losing your good habits and gaining the weight back.

    One thing I have learned through this process is that it doesn't matter what you know, and it doesn't matter what you have done in the past. We are what we repeatedly do.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Read this:

    http://weightology.net/weightologyweekly/?page_id=415

    In short, they eat more and move less ;)
  • amonpas
    amonpas Posts: 10 Member
    Its a way of life change, not a diet. Only make the changes that you can continue to do for the rest of your life.:smile:
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
    I think a lot of people fail because they think they are done. I used to think this way. Diet, lose weight, go back to not paying attention. Now I know I will need to weigh at least weekly and be ready to take action if I am over my maximum number. I never want to diet again.

    This
  • _jayciemarie_
    _jayciemarie_ Posts: 574 Member
    I actually like counting calories. I like knowing what my body burns. I like having control over it. I can't say that I will be like this always. I have been for 5 months now. I would like to think that when I hit a goal weight that I will figure out what my TDEE is at that weight and continue to track my calories. I know it is easier said than done. I really just don't want to EVER go through the process of losing this weight all over again.
  • Focusing on the target,not the actions leading up to it.
  • husseycd
    husseycd Posts: 814 Member
    People don't understand their daily caloric needs and don't always account for going over. Many of us go over on a weekly basis. It's hard to be fully disciplined every single day.

    What I do? If my maintenence is 2000 calories per day, I eat at a small deficit Mon-Thurs. Then on Friday/Sat I don't have to worry so much if I go over. Goal on Sunday is to eat at maintenence. If I start gaining weight, I'm going over too frequently. If I lose more, I adjust my numbers accordingly. It's worked for me for years.
  • carholl
    carholl Posts: 44 Member
    I lost the 30 pounds I set out to lose, but I still get on my elliptical every morning, still weigh every morning and still log into myfitnesspal every day. With the holidays here I've upped my time on the elliptical cause I know I'm not being too good about what I'm eating. Every morning I get on the scale...I know there are different thoughts on this out there, but this works for me. I've gotten rid of all my "fat" clothes, finally had my rings sized...there's no way I could afford to gain anything back!
  • hoyalawya2003
    hoyalawya2003 Posts: 631 Member
    Hunger. When I got to about this point before, I had no exercise routine, had lost muscle mass, and was hungry all the time. I got frustrated, decided losing more wasn't possible, and gained 20 lbs back (not the whole 35 I originally lost). This time around, I still get hungry sometimes, but I know it isn't an emergency and stick to my plan. I also get hungry less often, because (1) I have more muscle so I can eat a little more than before and still lose; and (2) I am working out so I can eat a little bit of my exercise burn. I am also mentally in a better place now, and I accept that I am one of those people that will probably have to calorie track the rest of my life.
  • mrsgoodwine
    mrsgoodwine Posts: 468 Member
    I think a lot of people fail because they think they are done. I used to think this way. Diet, lose weight, go back to not paying attention. Now I know I will need to weigh at least weekly and be ready to take action if I am over my maximum number. I never want to diet again.

    This ^
  • jamiesillimandunn
    jamiesillimandunn Posts: 270 Member
    Tagging for future reads :) I'm loosing now and want to know what fails when at maintenance ;)
  • star5785
    star5785 Posts: 140
    in because I need to hear this...
  • debraran1
    debraran1 Posts: 521 Member
    I'm close to maintaining now and what had me fail in the past was a slow disregard to portion sizes, snacking without thought at work and (for me) lack of exercise. I went from 5-6 days to 3-4, to weekend and maybe one other day. With my metabolism and hitting late 40's -50, I need to rev it up to lose weight.
    I also stopped weighing myself going on clothing, but wearing scrubs to work and sleeping in sweat/yoga pants often, the pounds slowly came on and blaming the dryer for shrinkage got a little lame.

    Depression is also a hard one to fight, but I found with exercise, stress and feeling blue was less with the endorphins produced by a good workout and I felt great accomplishment with finishing. My goal is to not slack off for long periods and treat my body with respect, keeping it "tuned up", well fueled and not feeling guilty for bad days or having a delicious treat once in a while, that is just part of living.

    I also didn't look up calories eating out...many places post them now, I totally had the mental calories in my head way off...I'd think 500, they would post 750 or more. Being educated in that area helps a lot.
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
    For me it's selective memory loss.

    Low carb works great for me to lose and maintain, but it has side effects. Bad breath and dry mouth (which can be controlled but first thing in the morning is really nasty). Stinkier pits than usual requiring lavish application of deodorant. The expense at the grocery store is a big one for me. Having to cook even when I don't feel like it sucks too (thankfully humans invented crock pots!).

    So I go along for awhile putting up with low carb, and then I get annoyed with it, and I forget how much more annoying it is to eat the kinds of food that makes me crave even more food. And I forget how much worse I feel mentally and physically. And I forget how depressing it is to not be able to breathe when I button my jeans. And I forget that I can't just count calories like a 'normal' person. Or I can, but not without being a cranky, miserable, craving human being.

    So I 'treat' myself to a high carb day that turns into a week or maybe longer and then I remember why this doesn't work for me. But by the time I get myself back to what does work, I've gained at least 5 pounds, and this last time I gained closer to 15. My own darn fault.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    When I was fat, I skipped breakfast. Now I don't eat dinner. It's what works for me and my life.
  • rachelakai2
    rachelakai2 Posts: 51 Member
    I feel like a lot of people start a "diet" instead of focusing on a lifestyle change.
  • nygr8guy
    nygr8guy Posts: 77 Member
    I wrote a similar thread last week. I'm not a failure because I'm not giving up. I'm down over a pound this week and that is a milestone for me. I'm taking it one step at a time, and thinking positive. I am making this an adventure, and an education, not a chore. I love to get feedback from all of you, and I love to read about weight loss, and how I can find ways to tweak my own.
    I've done it all..Counting calories, counting points, counting carbs, counting sugar, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, Atkins, Fatkins, NY Diet, Beverly Hills Diet, South Beach, you name it, I've been there.
    Yes, these may work because you're cutting your caloric intake, but if you do it too drastically the weight will come back. I've learned that diets don't work. What works for me is calculating how many calories I should eat in a day, and sticking to that number. Since I'm a bulk eater, I would rather eat healthy foods which are lower in calories, than have something small that's higher in calories. I need to overcome my low fat mantra. Healthy fats such as nuts and olive oil are great for you, just eat them in moderation. I know that can be difficult, and I am included. I can go overboard with peanut butter or nuts.
    MFP has been a big help. This is the beginning of a new journey for me, and the journey just never ends. When I reach my weight loss goal, I will have another goal so I don't gain it back.
  • jmatthews78
    jmatthews78 Posts: 14 Member
    For me it was due to low-card diets like the Scarsdale Diet. I learnt that these diets help you shed the pounds quickly, however are impossible to maintain. Losing weight and keeping healthy is all about lifestyle. Diet (not dieting) and exercise. You need to be savvy about what you eat - understand the need for the correct balance of carbs, protein and fat as well as know what to eat in moderation. No foods are bad for you as long as you understand what you are eating. Change your lifestyle and the pounds will stay off. Setting exercise targets also helps e.g. 10K, half-marathons, run 100K in a month etc..
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Statistically 95% of us here will fail at long term weight loss success (keeping the majority of lost weight off for at least five years). The weight loss phase is for a very short period of time-usually a few months to a couple years. Maintenance is for the rest of your life-20, 30, 40+ years. A LOT will happen in that time-

    -life changes (moving, new jobs, pregnancies, new baby/kids, marriage/divorce, carrying for elderly parents etc)
    -catastrophes (death in the family, illness, illness of loved ones, accidents etc)
    -stressful and busy times, when we're out of our normal routines
    -holidays, parties, get togethers etc
    -loss of focus/laziness; not creating new goals to work towards
    -loss of motivation (no one is complimenting us anymore, no new, smaller clothes)-ie. lots and lots of the same, easy to let the mundane day to day get us off track

    Plus other factors that come into play like emotional eating, those who deal with binge eating etc etc etc.

    And then one of my biggest pet peeves-there's almost NO information on maintenance out there. Even this sub-forum was just added a few months ago. There's no books, blogs/websites or experts out there giving us guidance on how to maintain successfully. We're bombarded with resources for losing the weight, but we're left on our own to figure out how to do the rest of it, which is the part that we'll be doing for years and years. Very frustrating when you're transitioning and are trying to figure out what comes next!

    I've been maintaining for a little over 6 months now and I've found it much more difficult and challenging then the losing weight phase was. However, I'm determined to not go back to where I once was (in the pre-diabetic range), so I will make maintenance work, no matter what I have to do. For me that means weighing daily, hanging out here on MFP, being conscious of calories (though I no longer track every day), exercising (for the first time in my life), always making/working towards a new goal and always having my weight/calories on the forefront of my mind. This is my life now, but it's worth it.
    I agree with everything you've said, with one exception: there IS information out there, but it's often in formal diet books like the south beach living books. Several of the commercially available diet books have chapters devoted to maintenance. When my sister was losing on Jenny Craig I kept asking her WHEN JC was going to teach her how to eat real food to maintain.... I ultimately bought her the south beach diet book just so she could read their phase 3 because I feared that once she stopped eating Jenny's packaged meals she'd revert to her old ways of eating. (She did, btw).
    But yes, otherwise I agree, otherwise, with everything you've said. and congrats on getting there!
  • danifo0811
    danifo0811 Posts: 544 Member
    For me it is relaxing on things once at or near goal. I know that weigh varies based on a whole bunch of factors so at goal, I don't worry too much about weight changes. I also know that one day of eating bad/over will do minimal damage. As long as it is ONE day. But then life happens and I think that I don't have the energy to do it now but I will Monday or the 1st of the month or.... never? I gained my weight in a few months. I have "maintained" since but not made the effort to lose the rest of the year.
  • BigGuy47
    BigGuy47 Posts: 1,768 Member
    And, hey, if you start the skip breakfast protocol, you WILL begin to lose weight. Slowly. Just on that track.
    There are thousands of people that have lost weight and maintained their weight for years while eating breakfast. Skipping breakfast is not magical.

    People fail because they don't make sustainable life changes. Too often when a goal is reached it's perceived as the end of the line. When a goal is attained it's time to set a new goal.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I have found the best- and the only-way to do this is by skipping breakfast and eating your first meal at noon. And when you eat after that, you can eat pretty much anything you want. Why? Because once you have been on the skip-breakfast protocol, your hunger urges will change as your BRAIN gets re-wired to a certain extent, and your capacity for food will change as the effective volume of your stomach shrinks.

    LOL...I never ate breakfast for years and blowed up like a balloon.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    People fail because they restrict food groups and believe they are "bad"…they then restrict to the point that they can't anymore and then bing on said bad foods…feel guilty, eat more, give up, and then repeat the cycle again every few months…

    If most people just made sensible changes and ate in a deficit and treated themselves to said foods then they would lose weight and it would be sustainable.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    And, hey, if you start the skip breakfast protocol, you WILL begin to lose weight. Slowly. Just on that track.
    There are thousands of people that have lost weight and maintained their weight for years while eating breakfast. Skipping breakfast is not magical.

    has done it both ways..IF/lean gains = skip breakfast…

    currently eating breakfast…neither is a magic bullet for weight loss...
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    People fail because they restrict food groups and believe they are "bad"…they then restrict to the point that they can't anymore and then bing on said bad foods…feel guilty, eat more, give up, and then repeat the cycle again every few months…

    If most people just made sensible changes and ate in a deficit and treated themselves to said foods then they would lose weight and it would be sustainable.
    This is a false dichotomy. Calorie counters return to MFP time and again talking about "falling off the wagon". This is true across the globe. To say ONLY those who restrict foods fail is just plain false.