'Tis the season to be insulted by family members?

Bingo!

Mother and father are the parents it is their job to address these issues! It is the aunts job to spoil and hav fun with the children and give them back hyper.

I'll be damned if I let slide an oppertunity to teach and raise my children. I take pride in their maners, it directly reflects my skills as a parent, not the aunts skills as an aunt.

*stands and claps*

and this is why we differ in this..
I take pride in my son, as does his aunts and uncles. He spends time with them and always has.

Mine is a grown man now (20 years old) and due to all of our input he has learned different views and different methods in dealing with life, as will all the children in my family. I always said..I am not raising a child I am raising a man and I want him to be the best man he can be an I can't teach him everything he needs to know as I am not an all knowing all seeing perfect person.

IMO it's not the job of an Aunt to let kids run wild and be brats, if you love a child it doesn't matter how they are related you want them to be the best they can be and in order for that to happen they have to learn from all the adults in their life.

How about "it's not my role"? I for one would be pretty upset if someone chose to have a talk about my kid's behavior in private without my knowledge. I spend a lot of time and energy instilling values into my kids and I would hate for someone to talk to them and try teaching something the way they they feel is right when I may not find it the right way for my children.

That is semantics...I am not talking about doing it in private. I am saying do it immediately just as the child did.

We as parents have to acknowledge that we don't know everything, we can't see everything and that others whom we trust and love can teach our children things we may not see....we all have different view points, different experiences and different methods.

Perhaps me being a single mom for so many years has made me more of a "it takes a community" type person but I firmly believe that Aunts and Uncles can have more of impact on a childs behaviour then any mom or dad can in some of these occassions but that's because I've seen it in my own life.

I kinda hid from my family because this year I gained over 50lbs. I went to see my granny in San Antonio and I felt the need to explain why I looked the way I did because of an instance the week before (I will get to that in a bit) but I gained my weight by the birth control shot and quitting smoking. My granny is dying of cancer and she said this to me which made me feel better. You quit smoking which is great (her cancer is from smoking she quit 12 years earlier but it was too late) you can lose the weight later. You can do it.
After this I felt better. The week before I was at Walmart and this woman who hasn't seen me in a long time pointed to my stomach and asked what was that. I knew she thougbht I was prego and even after I rudly said fat she kept going saying how I gained so much weight and I need to eat better and even said how my body looked prego. I was blessed with my fathers genes where all my weight is carried in my midsection. I left out of there in tears. But that lady hurt my feelings and I was gonna start the diet on New Years but I started earlier and so far I lost 10lbs.
But my point is, your here on myfitnesspal and your trying. Let them make their comments this year so next year you can WOW them. Add me so we can motivate each other for next Christmas.

WOW. I would NOT have let that go. I'd have embarrassed her to hell and back by being as loud as possible. You obviously knew you had gained weight. She had no right to reduce you to tears. Would she walk up to someone who had a trac in their throat from years of smoking and berate them for having it?

OP, I tell others it's none of their f****** business. Even little kids. "Mind your own business, junior" or "That was rude thing to say to someone. I know I'm overweight."

Sorry, that works me up. Never in a million years would I make a comment to someone about their weight. The ONLY way I would say a word about it is if they ASKED me or wanted advice.

It's not a wake-up call, it's either being cruel, or being oblivious to how that would make someone feel. Your comment ain't gonna make me "open my eyes and see the light", it's just going to make me say something rude right back.

how old is the little girl? she's either at that age of innocence where kids just blab out whatever they see or the family talks about being fat all the time.

She is 10, almost 11. Plenty old to understand the effect her words have on others. I see that she is struggling to push boundaries and feel people out, and that is okay. I am more than happy to help her through that. It makes me sad, though, because she seems to get quite the kick out of it. At that age, it is not acceptable. A six year old? Yeah! I can see that. But 10-11? Nah.

time to change those negatives.

let me help you out and get your sexy back on! add me and I will show you a meal plan, workout plan...and I will wear my friends cheer outfit and wave pom-poms to cheer you on!

lets work it!

Ummm.....and how much does your meal and workout plan cost? :laugh:

You should be using this to your advantage. Each time you workout or think of cheating in your diet, I want you to remember what this child said and use it. Successful people use things like this to their advantage. I grew up in a very poor family where my father was in and out of prison constantly. I had drunken family members tell me I'd end up just like him. Now as an adult I'm a successful police officer who is physically fit and has a beautiful woman that supports me in everything I do.

Use this. It is power. Prove them wrong.

oh, I must a cranky old broad... I understand kids sometimes blurt out things and sometimes they are mirroring what they hear adults around them do. HOWEVER- a child must be taught what is OK to say in certain situations and her parents should have apologized to you when they found out and corrected the child ( even if privately). She now got the message (tacit approval) it is OK to do those things. I see a small bully forming, probably because she see/ gets or is allowed this behavior at home.

Long story short, this child needed to be corrected. If not by the parents, then by you. Yes, your weight is not some surprising revelation to you. It did not appear overnight with the Christmas gifts. Correct her behavior and educate the child to how to speak and let her know that you are aware of it and doing something about it. If you do not set the limit, no one else will. Basic civility and manners have to be taught by situations and example. Sounds like the whole group could stand a lesson!

I have memories of my grandma, mother and god mother making such corrections. Also, playmate's parents, etc. Everyone called you down when you needed it. Now, no one does.(OK, truth is I still do).

Thank you! Yeah, there is some truth in that - I suppose part of moving on is gaining the ability to respond when it happens. Just a little, "Yes, I am overweight. Fat is not a nice word, it is hurtful.", would have sufficed. Sometimes we are just hopeful that these parents will understand the impact their child's words have on others, and correct it themselves. That is not always the case, sadly.