Embarrassing your trainer...what do you think?

i'm going to get on the other side of this one and say that i find it odd that everybody is razzing on the manager not being able to read minds....while reading his mind and saying exactly what his reasons were for saying what he said.

i also find it odd that everyone believes that everyone else gets motivated (or demotivated) by the same stimulus that they do. and that no way would anyone be motivated to do something for reasons other than themselves. i guess no one here played on a football team? or was in the military? because those are two specific instances where the basis of training is about making sacrifices in order to help someone else.

sometimes you're in a place where you're not motivated to do anything to help yourself but you will suck it up if you feel that someone else's neck is on the line. from the OP's opening description of her mental state, it sounds like that's where she was. i'm not saying this was the right tactic and i'm not saying that he's not an *kitten*.....but damn, there's got to be more than one way, no? as for mind reading, it's a lot easier to do when you're in the room and not reading selective commentary on the net.

on the topic of the cleanse: screw that noise. cleanses are dumb, period. that said, from the OP is sounds like it was the OP's decision to ask for a cleanse, not the trainer. and i've met people that are believe in cleanses that are otherwise (IMO) wholly competent. do i wish they would stop with the cleanse BS? absolutely. but one bad thing doesn't wipe away everything else they are in their profession.

Great job of motivating he did. In the words of the OP

"On one level, I guess I can understand that - I've trained people at different office jobs and have recommended people for positions to management, and when they don't perform accordingly, it is frustrating because I feel like it DOES reflect on me. But on another level, I just feel like quitting. The idea that I've made her look bad or embarrassed her in any way because I did not control my eating, makes me not want to return to that gym and discontinue my training contract."

Maybe the manager should leave the pop psychology to those better at it. All it seemed to do is motivate her to make this thread.

i never said it was a great idea, nor did i say it was the correct idea. i also didn't say it would be my way. just that in some cases it can work. one doesn't know what will work and what doesn't till one tries. since i wasn't there, i'm not privy to any interaction the manager had either with the OP, OR with the the OP's trainer, who may or may not have had conversations about the OP with the manager. That's part of the job description of the manager, after all.

also, i think this is good time to point out that the OP has not, in fact, cancelled her contract or ceased going to the gym. talking about doing something isn't the same as doing something. part of lighting a fire under someone's *kitten* is motivating them to make a choice, and sometimes that choice isn't the desired outcome. but either way, you make them decide to do something besides sit there like a lump. for all i know after a weekend spent moping about the comment, then getting enraged about the comment, she might go back in there, tell the manager to go screw off and never speak to her again, but then get focused on her health and lose the weight again.

what i'm saying is that this story hasn't ended. just because you pissed someone off doesn't mean they aren't still on board with the plan. (although i fully acknowledge that her reading both my post and this thread in general will change the trajectory it would have otherwise had)

i'm going to get on the other side of this one and say that i find it odd that everybody is razzing on the manager not being able to read minds....while reading his mind and saying exactly what his reasons were for saying what he said.

i also find it odd that everyone believes that everyone else gets motivated (or demotivated) by the same stimulus that they do. and that no way would anyone be motivated to do something for reasons other than themselves. i guess no one here played on a football team? or was in the military? because those are two specific instances where the basis of training is about making sacrifices in order to help someone else.

sometimes you're in a place where you're not motivated to do anything to help yourself but you will suck it up if you feel that someone else's neck is on the line. from the OP's opening description of her mental state, it sounds like that's where she was. i'm not saying this was the right tactic and i'm not saying that he's not an *kitten*.....but damn, there's got to be more than one way, no? as for mind reading, it's a lot easier to do when you're in the room and not reading selective commentary on the net.

on the topic of the cleanse: screw that noise. cleanses are dumb, period. that said, from the OP is sounds like it was the OP's decision to ask for a cleanse, not the trainer. and i've met people that are believe in cleanses that are otherwise (IMO) wholly competent. do i wish they would stop with the cleanse BS? absolutely. but one bad thing doesn't wipe away everything else they are in their profession.

For what it's worth, I think some people are motivated by the type of attitude the manager took with OP -- but my guess is those people are in the minority. That's why we're not all football playing marines, no? That's also why people here are calling the dude out. People looking for a tough love, *kitten* kicker trainer hire that person - not hope a stranger will be that way to them for motivation. Football/military - those are things you sign up for, not that randomly happen to you one day.

OP had no established relationship with the manager -- so while his aim MIGHT have been tough love, it was definitely misguided. With no established relationship with the OP, he just comes off as rude. Most people don't want to be being called out by some dude that don't know -- especially in a way that is based on guilt. OP is trying. It wasn't like she quit the gym and came back -- she kept up with her workouts -- she lacked in the diet department. That is basically life, sometimes you aren't on your A game, but you're not a loser so long as you don't give up and keep showing up. OP didn't give up.

Dude shouldn't have approached a client that wasn't his, unless the trainer asked for an intervention. It totally undermines the trainer's authority and alienates the client.

and how do you know that the trainer didn't ask for an intervention? and just because i used football and military service in my analogy doesn't mean that he manager was screaming at the OP thru a megaphone and trying intentionally to make her cry.

this thread has all the makings of every one sided relationship thread on this site. i've heard one person tell one version of a story and i'm assuming there are other sides and shadings to it. you know, because in the real world random strangers don't just walk up to long time paying customers and say insulting things out of the blue.

Right, because progress is linear.

That guy was was a douche and I'd find out who his manager is. You know what reflects poorly on trainers? When their clients stop showing up.

ETA: I would get a new trainer who isn't talking to you about cleanses.

^^Awesome answer.