I dont want to eat twigs and berries

just downsize your servings and hit your calorie goals...you don't have to eat twigs and berries...why do people even think this?

I'm a foodie and a hell of a cook...I've lost 40 Lbs eating delicious and nutritious foods. I've learned what appropriate servings of things are and I hit my calorie goals and I lose weight (well, maintain right now). It's just math.

Do you log everything you eat and stay within your MFP calorie guidelines? if so, you shouldn't have to eat twigs and berries. Others have explained that in more detail but it really is true.

As for eating good/healthy meals...For many years I felt that I was "eating healthy", definitely much healthier than the majority of my friends, ex-spouse, etc. So I figured something must be wrong with me that I didn't lose weight. LOGGING is such a powerful tool if you're not doing it already you will more than likely feel AMAZED.

There are no bad foods, barring medical issues. There are different portion sizes, though.

For the rest of this post can we please stop with the penis jokes!! Yes I said twigs and berries haha . I would appreciate serious advice thanks

You've gotten some really good advice so far. I'm not sure what else you're looking for?

At this point I'd just parrot what everyone else is saying. Set a reasonable calorie goal. Eat foods that you like as long as they fit within that goal. Look for foods with more protein, fat, and fiber as these help us feel fuller and more satisfied. Drink plenty of water. Exercise as you're able to. Adjust the plan when/if it stops working for you.

Does everyone like to argue I know I have gotten great advice thank you I just wanted the penis jokes to stop thank you

They probably won't stop, considering the title of the tread references a common euphemism for such things.

For the rest of this post can we please stop with the penis jokes!! Yes I said twigs and berries haha . I would appreciate serious advice thanks

You've gotten some really good advice so far. I'm not sure what else you're looking for?

At this point I'd just parrot what everyone else is saying. Set a reasonable calorie goal. Eat foods that you like as long as they fit within that goal. Look for foods with more protein, fat, and fiber as these help us feel fuller and more satisfied. Drink plenty of water. Exercise as you're able to. Adjust the plan when/if it stops working for you.

Does everyone like to argue I know I have gotten great advice thank you I just wanted the penis jokes to stop thank you

You should keep reporting them!

I find that eating a meal that is protein dense is far more filling that a carb dense meal for the same amount of calories.
ex: my breakfast today was 305 calories (coffee, 18% cream, 2 slices of ham, an egg and a slice of cheese with ketchup and an orange) compare that to a bowl of honey nut cheerios with milk and 1/2 banana for the same calories

For the rest of this post can we please stop with the penis jokes!! Yes I said twigs and berries haha . I would appreciate serious advice thanks

You've gotten some really good advice so far. I'm not sure what else you're looking for?

At this point I'd just parrot what everyone else is saying. Set a reasonable calorie goal. Eat foods that you like as long as they fit within that goal. Look for foods with more protein, fat, and fiber as these help us feel fuller and more satisfied. Drink plenty of water. Exercise as you're able to. Adjust the plan when/if it stops working for you.

Does everyone like to argue I know I have gotten great advice thank you I just wanted the penis jokes to stop thank you

They probably won't stop, considering the title of the tread references a common euphemism for such things.

For anyone who is mature twigs and berries also means salads and grains and vegatables .

I don't think it's very mature to refer to "salads and grains and vegetables" as "twigs." So consider that before you write off everyone giggling at your thread title as immature.

And besides, it's the internet. It's public. Expecting everyone to be the model of decorum is not reasonable. If you use euphemisms for male genitalia in your thread title, expect people to giggle. Just ignore it and move on if you don't like it.

I eat meat, fruit, and vegetables everyday. I still drink whole milk. I eat ice cream and cake and cookies and candy and chips. Do I eat more fruits and veggies now than before? Yes, of course. Do I eat less sugary/fattening things than before? Of course. I'm sure this has been said already (I didn't read the entire thread), but if you deny yourself things you love, you're more likely to binge eat them. So you make room to enjoy them as you please without going over your caloric intake for the day.

How about joke around on your own post I don't think it such a bad thing for someone to ask not to have 50 penis joke on their thread when they are trying to read through real advice . Thanks

Get over it,
It's going to happen over and over again - on your threads, on others.
It's called the internet.

For the rest of this post can we please stop with the penis jokes!! Yes I said twigs and berries haha . I would appreciate serious advice thanks

You've gotten some really good advice so far. I'm not sure what else you're looking for?

At this point I'd just parrot what everyone else is saying. Set a reasonable calorie goal. Eat foods that you like as long as they fit within that goal. Look for foods with more protein, fat, and fiber as these help us feel fuller and more satisfied. Drink plenty of water. Exercise as you're able to. Adjust the plan when/if it stops working for you.

Does everyone like to argue I know I have gotten great advice thank you I just wanted the penis jokes to stop thank you

They probably won't stop, considering the title of the tread references a common euphemism for such things.

For anyone who is mature twigs and berries also means salads and grains and vegatables .

I don't think it's very mature to refer to "salads and grains and vegetables" as "twigs." So consider that before you write off everyone giggling at your thread title as immature.

And besides, it's the internet. It's public. Expecting everyone to be the model of decorum is not reasonable. If you use euphemisms for male genitalia in your thread title, expect people to giggle. Just ignore it and move on if you don't like it.

It is a weight loss site go make your jokes on facebook where they belong and stop posting on mythread or I'll report it thank you

No, this isn't a weight loss site.
It's called My FITNESS Pal. Not my WEIGHT LOSS Pal.
Not everyone is hear for weight loss so don't assume.

Jokes belong on here too, not just Facebook.

I am outraged

So eat what you like and count the calories. Over time, you may find that you can live with some substitutions or changes if that means being able to eat more of your favourite foods. For example, tonight I'm having ravioli and leftover Christmas cake, so that means the rest of my day consists of fruit, salad, carrots, cucumbers, and low fat cottage cheese. Over time you'll learn what you can live without, or what you can do to make more room in your diet for things that you love. Just takes time and practice. Get logging!

This exactly! When I first started MFP, I had to completely plan out my meals the night before, to make sure I could stay under my calorie goal. If I knew I was having a big dinner, I adjusted my breakfast and lunch accordingly. Or, I could add an extra 15 minutes to my workout. I even pre-logged my workouts so I could have the extra calories to count in. I never once ate twigs :-), but I did purchase a food scale ($15 Walmart). That was probably the biggest and most shocking change for me... I was eating WAY too much food at each meal... sometimes double the suggested serving size. I had to pre-log and weigh my food for a good 6 months before I really "trained" myself on proper serving sizes and until my belly shrunk and I got used to knowing what to eat. Practice, Practice, Practice. Good luck! Don't give up! Baby steps.

It is a weight loss site go make your jokes on facebook where they belong and stop posting on mythread or I'll report it thank you

No, it's a fitness site and you freaking said twig and berries.