Adopt-A-Noob Program: Reality_Is_Harsh

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245

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  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    I disagree with points one and two. :angry:


    :bigsmile:

    Good to see you here...in the second best adopt-a-noob thread on MFP.

    tumblr_lun4qvdNVO1qbupz5.gif

    Yeah..THIS is impressive, this much...right here...
    article-2077613-0F41CD4800000578-796_468x369.jpg

    *Works more on his Pilates*

    dang pilates works on that too? pilates really is the magic stuff.

    Lengthens muscles I hear.
  • Derp_Diggler
    Derp_Diggler Posts: 1,456 Member
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    Ok, I'll bite. But I have a few questions of my own first;

    1) If I ask you about a cleanse/ detox/ purge are you going to tell me what I want to hear or are you going to be mean?

    2) If I want to look better do I have to exercise? And count calories? Because that sounds tedious.

    3) Who is this Mr Universe that you speak of? He sounds dreamy!
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
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    But why?
    Is this part of some community service you must do to keep you from going to jail? Because if the alternative isn't going to jail..well..
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Ok, I'll bite. But I have a few questions of my own first;

    1) If I ask you about a cleanse/ detox/ purge are you going to tell me what I want to hear or are you going to be mean?

    2) If I want to look better do I have to exercise? And count calories? Because that sounds tedious.

    3) Who is this Mr Universe that you speak of? He sounds dreamy!

    1. Mean

    2. Yes and yes. It is at first.

    3. He is!
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    But why?
    Is this part of some community service you must do to keep you from going to jail? Because if the alternative isn't going to jail..well..

    I like helping people and I'm trying to take a narrower approach this year rather than the broad approach of helping people in forum threads.
  • tageekly
    tageekly Posts: 3,755 Member
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    P.S. No crazy ones

    Welp, I'm out. *leaves thread*
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Ok, I'll bite. But I have a few questions of my own first;

    1) If I ask you about a cleanse/ detox/ purge are you going to tell me what I want to hear or are you going to be mean?

    2) If I want to look better do I have to exercise? And count calories? Because that sounds tedious.

    3) Who is this Mr Universe that you speak of? He sounds dreamy!

    STFU and get on board with the Pilates. Someone told me you need it. Oh yeah, it was you.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    But why?
    Is this part of some community service you must do to keep you from going to jail? Because if the alternative isn't going to jail..well..

    I like helping people and I'm trying to take a EASIER approach this year rather than the UNGRATEFUL NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK approach of helping people in forum threads.

    FIFY
  • Derp_Diggler
    Derp_Diggler Posts: 1,456 Member
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    Ok, I'll bite. But I have a few questions of my own first;

    1) If I ask you about a cleanse/ detox/ purge are you going to tell me what I want to hear or are you going to be mean?

    2) If I want to look better do I have to exercise? And count calories? Because that sounds tedious.

    3) Who is this Mr Universe that you speak of? He sounds dreamy!

    STFU and get on board with the Pilates. Someone told me you need it. Oh yeah, it was you.


    No, I said I needed my bones lengthened, not my muscles. And I asked you to do it for me.
  • nickylee76
    nickylee76 Posts: 629 Member
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    Lol well I guess if I don't get adopted by Mr Universe there's always #2....
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    Hey, you even changed your outfit to post this :wink:

    (I'm not creepy, really)
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Lol well I guess if I don't get adopted by Mr Universe there's always #2....

    Disqualified, I don't accept Mr. Universe's leftovers. :angry:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Hey, you even changed your outfit to post this :wink:

    (I'm not creepy, really)

    Drunken NYE picture changing. It won't last. :laugh:
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,375 Member
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    Welcome, Dear Noobs, to MFP.

    I hereby volunteer my services to two (2) MFP newbies in search of help on their journey to greater health.

    Snip

    ***Please send me a message with nude before FR'ing me***

    Snip

    If you send a nude, you will be immediately disqualified. :laugh:

    Welp, I'm out. *leaves thread*
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    Welcome, Dear Noobs, to MFP.

    I hereby volunteer my services to two (2) MFP newbies in search of help on their journey to greater health.

    The positives I bring:

    1. Better than mister_universe.

    2. A lot better.

    3. I have a strong grasp of nutrition and certain aspects of fitness.

    4. While I am blunt and won't tolerate whiners, I do actually care if you succeed.

    5. Willing to walk you through the science of why certain things work and others don't.


    ***Please send me a message before FR'ing me***

    To those who are interested: I am not looking for someone who simply wants to be told what to do. I'm looking for someone who wants to become an actual part of the community, learn about nutrition, and are willing to put in the effort to achieve their goals. I am also looking for those with a great sense of humor as I can be crude, perverted, and love shenanigans. So if you're a prude, don't appreciate crass humor, or completely unmotivated, let's just accept that we won't work out.


    Thanks to Mr. Universe for the idea.

    Are you requiring spaying and neutering and/or an adoption fee?
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Options
    Welcome, Dear Noobs, to MFP.

    I hereby volunteer my services to two (2) MFP newbies in search of help on their journey to greater health.

    The positives I bring:

    1. Better than mister_universe.

    2. A lot better.

    3. I have a strong grasp of nutrition and certain aspects of fitness.

    4. While I am blunt and won't tolerate whiners, I do actually care if you succeed.

    5. Willing to walk you through the science of why certain things work and others don't.


    ***Please send me a message before FR'ing me***

    To those who are interested: I am not looking for someone who simply wants to be told what to do. I'm looking for someone who wants to become an actual part of the community, learn about nutrition, and are willing to put in the effort to achieve their goals. I am also looking for those with a great sense of humor as I can be crude, perverted, and love shenanigans. So if you're a prude, don't appreciate crass humor, or completely unmotivated, let's just accept that we won't work out.


    Thanks to Mr. Universe for the idea.

    Are you requiring spaying and neutering and/or an adoption fee?

    Yes to spaying/neutering, and no adoption fee.
  • __Angie__
    __Angie__ Posts: 31
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    Look at her form
    Isn't it weak?
    Wouldn't you think her training's incomplete?
    Wouldn't you think she's a noob
    Who has no clue
    Look at the gym
    Location untold
    How many lifters can one small gym hold?
    Looking around here you think
    Wow, she's not fitting in
    I've used treadmills and ellipticals aplenty
    I've used stair steppers and jump ropes galore
    You want DVD's?
    I've got twenty
    But who cares?
    No big deal
    I want more

    I wanna be where the athletes are
    I wanna look, wanna look just like them
    Strutting around with those- what's the word again?
    Oh-Muscles!

    Cardio only gets you so far
    Lifting's required for better fitness
    Running around with those- what do you call 'em?
    Cross trainers

    The room where they lift, the room where they bench
    The room where they work out just for fun
    So you can see- wish I could be
    Part of that world

    Don't mind me, I'm just a noob with way too much time on her hands passing by
  • Mischieviousme777
    Mischieviousme777 Posts: 190 Member
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    P.S. No crazy ones

    Two non-crazies.. Who want to be members of the community? Those exist? Do they live among the unicorns? :laugh:
  • jennegan1
    jennegan1 Posts: 677 Member
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    Can I be a noob?
  • mathjulz
    mathjulz Posts: 5,514 Member
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    Look at her form
    Isn't it weak?
    Wouldn't you think her training's incomplete?
    Wouldn't you think she's a noob
    Who has no clue
    Look at the gym
    Location untold
    How many lifters can one small gym hold?
    Looking around here you think
    Wow, she's not fitting in
    I've used treadmills and ellipticals aplenty
    I've used stair steppers and jump ropes galore
    You want DVD's?
    I've got twenty
    But who cares?
    No big deal
    I want more

    I wanna be where the athletes are
    I wanna look, wanna look just like them
    Strutting around with those- what's the word again?
    Oh-Muscles!

    Cardio only gets you so far
    Lifting's required for better fitness
    Running around with those- what do you call 'em?
    Cross trainers

    The room where they lift, the room where they bench
    The room where they work out just for fun
    So you can see- wish I could be
    Part of that world

    Don't mind me, I'm just a noob with way too much time on her hands passing by

    Yeah, but that's pretty darn good, I think! :flowerforyou:

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