Does anyone actually want help?
Replies
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Send a private message id be glad to helpWas exercising like a maniac, got injured, then depressed. Need help developing fitness regime incorporating strength. F, 54 yrs. I jog, and swim but really know nothing about strengthening exercises. Have access to multiple types of fitness equipment.0
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Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
I think until someone is willing and ready to not give themselves excuses, go public with their fitness goals, accept criticism, listen to the advice of others who have been successful, and to work hard and go through the discomfort of giving up old vices.... they might just be looking for a venting board.
But, everyone has to start somewhere right? Maybe a person needs to get situated and sort out their 'new' lifestyle... Going from a diet of fast food, no exercise, pop, and chips to a life of tracking every morsel on MFP and actually going to the gym is gonna' be a huge shock. And hard. And frustrating. Maybe it'll take an individual trying to "lose 20lbs" as their goal (and not seeing any results for six months) before they realize they NEED to listen to what others are telling them.
Everyone has to start somewhere... But I think those that are really ready and determined to reach their goals appreciate the tips that are given, and the advice that is counselled to them (even if it's hard to hear!)0 -
Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
I think until someone is willing and ready to not give themselves excuses, go public with their fitness goals, accept criticism, listen to the advice of others who have been successful, and to work hard and go through the discomfort of giving up old vices.... they might just be looking for a venting board.
But, everyone has to start somewhere right? Maybe a person needs to get situated and sort out their 'new' lifestyle... Going from a diet of fast food, no exercise, pop, and chips to a life of tracking every morsel on MFP and actually going to the gym is gonna' be a huge shock. And hard. And frustrating. Maybe it'll take an individual trying to "lose 20lbs" as their goal (and not seeing any results for six months) before they realize they NEED to listen to what others are telling them.
Everyone has to start somewhere... But I think those that are really ready and determined to reach their goals appreciate the tips that are given, and the advice that is counselled to them (even if it's hard to hear!)0 -
I think everyone needs to find their own way...what works for them.
Advice is always that...the person on the receiving end ultimately must make the choice whether to take the advice or not. Its their choice, not yours, and you can't get annoyed when they don't take it.
They just need to find their own way. Maybe your way doesn't work for them. Maybe it doesn't work for them right now, but maybe it will work for them later. Maybe they just have to think about it.
For me, this is a journey. It is a learning experience. I read the suggestions, but I know what has been working for me. I may read something that makes sense to me, based on past experience and what I've already learned, and I will add it to my tool box of weightloss tools. I've also read alot that doesn't make sense to me, based on past experience and what I've already learned, but it may work for others...who am I to judge?
All you can do is make suggestions. If they help one person, well...you've' done a marvelous thing.
KUDOS to YOU for wanting to help!
:drinker:0 -
We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.
so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...
I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....
Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.0 -
If I only trained, mentored and coached people with the same goals as me I would be broke on my butt and have to close the doors to my gym. That's a silly mentality. I learn things from all sorts of people!!!lol I knew there would be at least one of you. No i don't need to vent. My goal is to attract others who feel the same and decide if the few moments of spare time I have are worth trying to help. It's what I love to do: figured this would be a cool place to do it. But with this account and my former one, it never seemed anyone wanted "help". And of course I "want" to know. Why else would I post?It's a learning curve. People have preconceived ideas about health, fitness and diet. I did too when I started. Sometimes we all just think we know better. Eventually people give up or realize that some of the things they probably did not want to hear were and are the things that will work
^^^^ This. ^^^
So, this is going to be really ugly, but OP, what are YOU hoping will happen with this post?
Do you actually WANT to know why we come here?
Are you just venting?
Do you think that somehow complaining about newbies is going to change these forums?
Everyone starts somewhere. Either choose to be patient or don't visit the forums. You're not going to change them.
"At least one of you"?
I ask you a question and you're assuming things about me? That's not exactly helpful, is it?
Actually, I have read many conflicting opinions in these forums about what works and what doesn't and I've gleaned what has worked for me.
I've learned to consider the source (poster) and how their goals are similar or dissimilar to mine. Also, I consider their lifestyle to determine whether or not their advice applies to me.
I have faith that many people who are sincere about their goals will eventually do as I have done.
I hope you took time to read my answer.
So I answer honestly, and you tell me I'm silly.
Thanks.
I hope you get all the sympathy that you're hoping for from this thread.0 -
We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.
Where did you get lost? When people say they've done EVERYTHING and can't lose weight, that's when people say log calories, weigh food, strength train, etc.. Often times, they haven't "done everything" they can to lose weight.0 -
I think we have at least one cool troll here!A lot of these posts are submitted by trolls, bored and looking to get people worked up. I have to say though, some of them are pretty amusing at times.0
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Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
I think until someone is willing and ready to not give themselves excuses, go public with their fitness goals, accept criticism, listen to the advice of others who have been successful, and to work hard and go through the discomfort of giving up old vices.... they might just be looking for a venting board.
But, everyone has to start somewhere right? Maybe a person needs to get situated and sort out their 'new' lifestyle... Going from a diet of fast food, no exercise, pop, and chips to a life of tracking every morsel on MFP and actually going to the gym is gonna' be a huge shock. And hard. And frustrating. Maybe it'll take an individual trying to "lose 20lbs" as their goal (and not seeing any results for six months) before they realize they NEED to listen to what others are telling them.
Everyone has to start somewhere... But I think those that are really ready and determined to reach their goals appreciate the tips that are given, and the advice that is counselled to them (even if it's hard to hear!)
Yes. It really is a journey for most of us. We start out here sure about what we need to do, it doesn't work as planned. We get advice that seems too hard or not disciplined enough. We try some of it. It works better than we thought. Then we realize that it's all very easy once we got out of our own way.0 -
We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.
Where did you get lost? When people say they've done EVERYTHING and can't lose weight, that's when people say log calories, weigh food, strength train, etc.. Often times, they haven't "done everything" they can to lose weight.
I think what she's saying is that this is all very specific and the specifics won't work for her. She's too new to see the general guidelines this advice is based on.0 -
Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
I think until someone is willing and ready to not give themselves excuses, go public with their fitness goals, accept criticism, listen to the advice of others who have been successful, and to work hard and go through the discomfort of giving up old vices.... they might just be looking for a venting board.
But, everyone has to start somewhere right? Maybe a person needs to get situated and sort out their 'new' lifestyle... Going from a diet of fast food, no exercise, pop, and chips to a life of tracking every morsel on MFP and actually going to the gym is gonna' be a huge shock. And hard. And frustrating. Maybe it'll take an individual trying to "lose 20lbs" as their goal (and not seeing any results for six months) before they realize they NEED to listen to what others are telling them.
Everyone has to start somewhere... But I think those that are really ready and determined to reach their goals appreciate the tips that are given, and the advice that is counselled to them (even if it's hard to hear!)
Yes. It really is a journey for most of us. We start out here sure about what we need to do, it doesn't work as planned. We get advice that seems too hard or not disciplined enough. We try some of it. It works better than we thought. Then we realize that it's all very easy once we got out of our own way.
I agree. Just need to keep working hard, and realizing that it's not going to be easy... but sure as hell is going to be worth it! 0 -
Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
I think until someone is willing and ready to not give themselves excuses, go public with their fitness goals, accept criticism, listen to the advice of others who have been successful, and to work hard and go through the discomfort of giving up old vices.... they might just be looking for a venting board.
But, everyone has to start somewhere right? Maybe a person needs to get situated and sort out their 'new' lifestyle... Going from a diet of fast food, no exercise, pop, and chips to a life of tracking every morsel on MFP and actually going to the gym is gonna' be a huge shock. And hard. And frustrating. Maybe it'll take an individual trying to "lose 20lbs" as their goal (and not seeing any results for six months) before they realize they NEED to listen to what others are telling them.
Everyone has to start somewhere... But I think those that are really ready and determined to reach their goals appreciate the tips that are given, and the advice that is counselled to them (even if it's hard to hear!)
Yes. It really is a journey for most of us. We start out here sure about what we need to do, it doesn't work as planned. We get advice that seems too hard or not disciplined enough. We try some of it. It works better than we thought. Then we realize that it's all very easy once we got out of our own way.
agreed.
This person knows her stuff.0 -
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Most people just want an easy quick fix. Haven't we ALL been guilty of that at some time?? Like right before we finally admitted this will take WORK? And that you must stay with it longer than a week??!
Once people pass that point, they are ready to hear whatever. I know I am! My weight loss is slow, but I kept it all off during the holidays, so I'm pumped. Ready to hear anything that will help me!! Bring it on!! I'm tough!! :bigsmile:0 -
I think a lot of people on here talk a bigger game than they play to make a point.
There is so much focus on the minutiae of diets in mainstream media and 99% of the people who come here would see better results by cutting what they are currently eating by 1/4 than by trying to completely changing everything they do.
A lot of people give up on what they can do because they can't do everything they "should" do. When you are beginning and it's hard, it's so easy to stop logging over an extra cookie. Once you see that a cookie is a choice and a carrot is a choice and they both have their place in the world, the whole concept of failure just evaporates and you become supercharged.You know very well that this concept is being abused across the board. Even athletes save their "macros" for a pop tart pig out feast at the end of the day. You make not "gain weight" doing this but your pancreas won't be too happy after while.
I know it's an easy way for people to start to get it. I was speaking of my own personal application.Yeah, well. The My Fitness Pal site is build around the IIFYM premise. That's why it attracts a lot of people that this works for (and that's a lot of people). Different sports have different requirements - I'm a runner, so I love my carbs.Great question. If your referring to my mentioning of "macros" in my first post I don't want to mislead. I follow a certain split for my sport. I do not agree with or follow the "iifym" theory that everyone believes is the new hotness.
My quick response to those looking to lose body fat is keeping stable blood sugar while eating frequent small meals is a great place to start. Avoiding even fruit sugars will help decrease random insulin spikes throughout the day.
You would be surprised to know how much you can eat calorically when you are eating the right thingsWell here's a question that plagues me. I hear about macros and I am curious what is most important; trying to reach goal weight; keeping calories under or reaching your maximum macros? I did just start lifting weights again and I am trying to eat as much protein as possible. I also try to keep my carbs lower than what I am allowed. I have been losing steadily but want to make sure this trend continues. Am I worrying too much about keeping calories low? I'll open my diary of you want to look at my last few days. Thanks0 -
Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
I think until someone is willing and ready to not give themselves excuses, go public with their fitness goals, accept criticism, listen to the advice of others who have been successful, and to work hard and go through the discomfort of giving up old vices.... they might just be looking for a venting board.
But, everyone has to start somewhere right? Maybe a person needs to get situated and sort out their 'new' lifestyle... Going from a diet of fast food, no exercise, pop, and chips to a life of tracking every morsel on MFP and actually going to the gym is gonna' be a huge shock. And hard. And frustrating. Maybe it'll take an individual trying to "lose 20lbs" as their goal (and not seeing any results for six months) before they realize they NEED to listen to what others are telling them.
Everyone has to start somewhere... But I think those that are really ready and determined to reach their goals appreciate the tips that are given, and the advice that is counselled to them (even if it's hard to hear!)
Yes. It really is a journey for most of us. We start out here sure about what we need to do, it doesn't work as planned. We get advice that seems too hard or not disciplined enough. We try some of it. It works better than we thought. Then we realize that it's all very easy once we got out of our own way.
agreed.
This person knows her stuff.
Are you kidding? :blushing:0 -
I do REALLY! I am a 59 year old stroke survivor trying to lose 10 pounds over the winter I am 5'2" 135 lbs and can not afford to gain any winter weight. My biggest problem is I do not eat enough I think I'm doing good until I track then the truth comes out so I get discouraged and stop tracking for a while. my exercise is very limited as to what I can do. My therapist said my muscles give out (fatigue) before I can reach fat burning level. I am a cookie hollic. I tried the garcinia cambogia pills and gave up cookies for a week and nothing! I thought I would have at least lost 1 pound. When I did track on a regular basis and was usually at or 200 calories under goal I still lost nada. What gives maybe I'm eating the wrong calories I don't know
Thanks for any help you can give
Mel0 -
Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
I think until someone is willing and ready to not give themselves excuses, go public with their fitness goals, accept criticism, listen to the advice of others who have been successful, and to work hard and go through the discomfort of giving up old vices.... they might just be looking for a venting board.
But, everyone has to start somewhere right? Maybe a person needs to get situated and sort out their 'new' lifestyle... Going from a diet of fast food, no exercise, pop, and chips to a life of tracking every morsel on MFP and actually going to the gym is gonna' be a huge shock. And hard. And frustrating. Maybe it'll take an individual trying to "lose 20lbs" as their goal (and not seeing any results for six months) before they realize they NEED to listen to what others are telling them.
Everyone has to start somewhere... But I think those that are really ready and determined to reach their goals appreciate the tips that are given, and the advice that is counselled to them (even if it's hard to hear!)
Yes. It really is a journey for most of us. We start out here sure about what we need to do, it doesn't work as planned. We get advice that seems too hard or not disciplined enough. We try some of it. It works better than we thought. Then we realize that it's all very easy once we got out of our own way.
agreed.
This person knows her stuff.
I agree with this, and I think it is very easy once you get it all down. I think the issue is that not everyone gets it down at the same rate or in the same way. It can be very overwhelming, and when you say that something's not going to work for you and then 10 people jump down your throat and start asking why are you here, do you really want to lose weight, why are you making excuses, if you really wanted this you'd make it happen, you must just want to sit around, do nothing, and take a magic pill….it's kind of difficult to get the point where you have it all together. Sometimes it is people getting in their own way, and other times it's just people needing support and help trying to figure out a way to make it happen.0 -
I dont need you effing help.
I will ask all the detox and raspberry ketone questions i want. I dont want answers, i just want people to agree with me.
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I'm a Type 2 diabetic with elevated cholesterol with a goal of getting to 130 lbs. by July by any means necessary. I currently weigh 202.8 lbs. I need and want help. It feels like I can't eat anything I want to.0
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I'm a weight loss coach and I agree. Although sometimes I find people do want help with the tech aspects of MFP and how to use it with some of the linked features such as fitbit.
Having said that I'd love to have you join my group real people weight loss, I enjoy helping others so if you WANT help or want to be helpful please do join. I think I lost a ton of people to the holidays 
it's gotten too quiet. 0 -
I feel people arent compassionate enough!! The way so many people respond with sarcasm and snarkiness makes me upset. And then they defend themselves by saying people dont want to hear the truth. These are "some"of the same people who have no patience or tact. There is never an excuse for that. And by saying this is the internet, is still no excuse for ugliness. It is hard for some people to believe one thing when all they have ever been bombarded with is crap from the fitness industry. And sometimes they have to learn thru trial and error. Seasoned mfpers forget that. That is what I have noticed.0
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Or do you more-so want to vent on these boards? Talk about fads that you cycle through, ask very specific impossible questions to answer in a paragraph, defend the protocol you follow although you may not be seeing ANY results..
As a fitness professional, i use MFP to help my clients stay accountable and to track my own macros. I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...
Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
It's the new FB!!! some girl just told me off for explaining to her that sitting around crying about **** isn't getting her anywhere and waiting for a surgery was just another excuse.....because she can't excersize???? huh ?? she walks all the time ... might not be able to run but walking would be more than enough. .... and I got told that I was being rude (she was asking me for help ) and that I was making her angry .. truth hurts I guess and no one wants to hear it.0 -
I had to change my profile picture from a photo of my delt because (as I should have known better), I got a few back handed remarks about being muscular in private message and on the thread. I'm well aware that isn't everyone's desired physique. I know that few people can dedicate their lives to physique sports etc and I know perfectly well that people have "different goals" (by far the most obvious point made). We know it's common courtesy to not judge someone for being fat, so why would you judge someone for just the opposite?? I guess my question was answers loud and clear. I will worry about my close friends clients and family. You people can buzz off. I won't waste my time talking fitness with MFP'ers...0
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Mostly people want to hear what they want to actually do. Like for me, i want people to say eat 2000 calories a day and you will lose weight just fine, but if someone says eat 1500 calories to lose weight, i will go bonkers(no matter how true it is), because thats not something i wanted to hear LOL0
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I understand!! I don't understand why people put up a post in the forums asking what they are doing wrong if they aren't prepared to actually find out the truth!! Plus if they used the search option they would easily get a million answers to their questions. I have never posted in the forums because all my questions have already be answered in the past. I love constructive criticism and advice and would never get mad or defensive because I am aware of what I am doing and know when I am probably not eating the right things or exercising enough!!0
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We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.
Where did you get lost? When people say they've done EVERYTHING and can't lose weight, that's when people say log calories, weigh food, strength train, etc.. Often times, they haven't "done everything" they can to lose weight.
I think what she's saying is that this is all very specific and the specifics won't work for her. She's too new to see the general guidelines this advice is based on.
Maybe she just wants to be told if she eats 'clean' she will magically drop pounds and grow muscles! :bigsmile:0 -
Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
I think until someone is willing and ready to not give themselves excuses, go public with their fitness goals, accept criticism, listen to the advice of others who have been successful, and to work hard and go through the discomfort of giving up old vices.... they might just be looking for a venting board.
But, everyone has to start somewhere right? Maybe a person needs to get situated and sort out their 'new' lifestyle... Going from a diet of fast food, no exercise, pop, and chips to a life of tracking every morsel on MFP and actually going to the gym is gonna' be a huge shock. And hard. And frustrating. Maybe it'll take an individual trying to "lose 20lbs" as their goal (and not seeing any results for six months) before they realize they NEED to listen to what others are telling them.
Everyone has to start somewhere... But I think those that are really ready and determined to reach their goals appreciate the tips that are given, and the advice that is counselled to them (even if it's hard to hear!)
Yes. It really is a journey for most of us. We start out here sure about what we need to do, it doesn't work as planned. We get advice that seems too hard or not disciplined enough. We try some of it. It works better than we thought. Then we realize that it's all very easy once we got out of our own way.
agreed.
This person knows her stuff.
Are you kidding? :blushing:
not even a little.
You post with knowledge and respect. :drinker:0 -
I haven't read all the replies but I think the responses on the first page sums up what many think is wrong with the forums. Not everyone wants "blunt". Especially those that are frustrated, feeling like a failure, or really struggling. When it is obvious that someone's feelings are hurt by blunt answers, more blunt answers is NOT "help".
There is nothing wrong with giving a pat on the back along with advice. There is nothing wrong with apologizing for being too blunt. Being helpful requires delivering accurate information in a manner that will be accepted.0 -
I'm going to answer from the "need help" or more accurately "want help" group of people. I haven't asked the questions because I honestly don't know which questions I feel I need to ask (this is not my first time on this pony ride and I have a lot of knowledge that I'm implementing, so I also often know exactly what I did wrong before the question even forms). I do look at the questions that interest me and read through the advice. I also answer if I have an answer that I"ve learned from a nutritionist or a personal trainer. When I do ask the question, I'm going to want the harsh truth. I may not like it, but I know I want it.
I implore those of you who do have more knowledge than me to keep responding. It helps people that you don't even realize that it helps. I'm one of those people. I've learned where to go for TDEE (and what TDEE means), the truth about calorie burn numbers on both MFP and the cardio machines I use at the gym, references for lifting and strength training and a lot about macros. So a heartfelt "Thank You" for those of you who've answered in the past and opened my eyes to things I needed to know.0
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