Most awkward weight comment

At my office Christmas party this past December I was helping myself to the desert table and I had just put a big piece of cake on my plate when a colleague said really loudly in front of a bunch of other people "careful, that's going to make you fat." I cannot for the life of me figure out why she said that. I'm not really known for dieting or anything, and my weight has always been steady and perfectly fine for my height. My piece of cake just didn't taste as good after that.

Another time, not so much awkward as kind of funny/sad. A few years ago when I had first lost about 20 pounds, my family and I were visiting my grandmother in her nursing home at Christmas. After about fifteen minutes of chatting with everyone my grandma asked "where's Ashley?" My dad pointed to me and said "she's right there." My grandmother looked at me, turned to my dad and said "that's not Ashley." My family spent the next few minutes trying to convince my grandmother that yes it was me. She finally let it drop but continued to shoot me side eye for the rest of the visit. We laugh about it now because it was so typical of her to be that stubborn, to think we were trying to fake her out and I was really some random stranger being passed off as her granddaughter, but it is also kind of sad because that is the last time I saw her before she died.

I have been told by coworkers that i need to "stop watching what i eat" because "You're so thin already!" I commented that "Well, I have gained about 18 pounds in the past four months. I'd like to get to where i was" and she said "What? Where have you gained weight? Are you going to donate an organ or cut off a leg?"

I have one friend who keeps telling me I am "wasting away to nothing!" I love her dearly, and I know she means well, but really, I weigh 229 lbs, still have about 100 to go, and am not likely to waste away for a very long time. I also feel it's an insult to those who truly are wasting away, from starvation or illness or disease treatments. She has a relative who is very overweight and has had one of the more drastic bariatric surgeries, and keeps extolling its virtues to me too, which I don't understand as I am obviously doing something right and she thinks I am wasting away... Another friend said I was getting "svelte", and because we are very close friends we had a discussion on what that word meant, and she allowed as how she misunderstood the meaning. (One definition is "gracefully slender, lithe".) She thought it was more in the "getting" part, losing the weight, I guess.

My dad also says : "You're going to keep getting fatter and fatter and fatter if you eat like that" :embarassed: Talk about awkward? I've also gotten: "If you keep going this direction, by the time you're my age, you'll be huge!" Or my mom: "You're going to be HUGE when you grow older." Gee, thanks mom.

My husband keeps saying that to me, too. How mortifying~:brokenheart:

but again, if our family can't tell the truth, who else will?

All comments on someone's weight/body are generally kind of awkward and inappropriate, I find.

I think there've been two recently that were pretty bad, though:

- this summer, ironically as I was going to the gym, I got on the bus and sat down, and the older lady sat opposite me across the aisle laughed and turned to her friend and said "and you thought YOU had a spare tyre!" and they openly laughed at me whilst everyone around us just looked uncomfortable.

- one of the secretaries where I'm based told me not to lose any weight, that I should go to the Middle East and get a job bellydancing because "they like big women" (admittedly I *am* a bellydancer in my free time but wtf)

WTF?? Oh my gawd. People are so stupid. and rude.

All comments about weight are awkward when you are fat. That's the painful truth...It's when people tell you to lose weight and you don't get it. I've been there...lost 126 lbs.

They're not any better when you're thin. Being told you need to eat a sandwich is no less painful or awkward than being told to stop eating one.

+1

Really guys?

I mean...I'm not disagreeing exactly. And I take this stuff pretty seriously. I NEVER make rude comments to thin people or say "you're so skinny I'm jealous blah blah blah" or "eat a cheeseburger"...not even in JEST because I don't think it's funny. I generally try to make infrequent comments about others' appearance and if I do it's something like a compliment on their scarf, haircut, etc.

But...I tend to think that in *most* cases, fat-shaming is kind of worse. I'd say out of 100 random people (whether kids, teens, or adults) if you asked them "what would be worse, being made fun of for being too fat or being too skinny" a HUGE percentage would say that it was worse to be fat. There are so many things associated with being fat like laziness, sloppy hygiene, health problems...not the case for being very thin/small.

Again not really disagreeing just wondering if you truly believe it's EQUALLY bad. I don't see that, I guess.

Maybe not EQUALLY as I can say from my experience I think comments about looking pregnant hurt more than anything. But for me, I was always very thin as a child and into my teens years. I took dance and rode my bike everywhere. My dad liked to joke that I ate like a horse. But it didn't stop people from asking my mom if she feeds me, or being called names, or having people tell to "eat more, eat more, here have another helping, you're too skinny!!" When you hear it a lot it can have a negative effect. I would stand in front of the mirror and wish I has bigger boobs or a bigger butt, or some "meat" that guys seemed to desire so much. Gahd, I remember a boyfriend gushing to me about this girl he met who had curves and was more what he was looking for so he had to break up with me. Granted, if people tell me I look thin now it does SORT OF make me feel good. I'd don't want to be asked if I am pregnant anymore. I want be healthy and show my daughter what a healthy body image and self esteem looks like. And I want to wear a bikini and not feel like I should have a cover up on.

A patient of mine thought I went and had plastic surgery on my face because my features became sharper.
Can't blame him, I do have a "face-lift scar" on my right side of the ear/neck area from a tumor removal surgery in the middle of my journey.

I always get awkward weight comments, some are truly funny while some are very hurtful. I can only think of two on the top of my head for some reason.

1.) I went to Portland, Or. I ate a lot because food in Portland is so amazing and I think everyone should go visit there for the food . When I came back, I gained a couple of pounds (No regrets!) so I decided to go on a diet. A few days after my return, I visited my grandmother. My grandmother took one look at my sister and me and said the following "Oh, your sister looks so malnourished and thin, she lost so much weight! but you, dear did you eat all her food along with yours in Portland? You look like you gained half of her." And then everyone around us proceeded to laugh along with myself. Though the comment hurt (I mean, who wants to be called fat?), my grandmother has always been really unfiltered. And I did gain a lot but no regrets, I enjoyed every bite! So I took it in stride

2.) So after that Portland comment, I lost 46 pounds. Wahooooo. I'm currently in the normal bmi range and the lowest weight I've been since.........my entire life. But I still got a long way to go. While at the mall, my mom was walking behind me and noticed that I have collarbones. So in front of everyone in the store, she exclaimed "You are so THIN! You look like you STARVE yourself! You look anorexic! You have to eat!". I was so embarrassed. Especially because I was standing next to my sister who is the same height and 25 pounds lighter. Also, I was the biggest girl in the room. Then people around me proceeded to stare and a group of thin girls snorted and laughed as they shook they head at me. It was just a big embarrassing situation. I guess since I've always been the fat child, it's just a shock for my mother to see me thinner. But that comment, gosh it keeps me up at night because for some reason, I was just so embarrassed by it!

After I was diagnosed with my thyroid condition, the specialist asked me how I first realized something was wrong. I told him I lost 25 pounds for no reason. His response: "That's probably a good thing for you." It really tore me up inside, but it was eventually wake-up call to get motivated and lose the weight for good.

This reminds me when I was in hospital for Crohn's Disease. The resident helping the surgeon told me he had never seen an overweight crohn's patient before (not the exact words, but that is what he meant). I just had to laugh!

“grey's anatomy", anyone?

This past October, I went to the doctor for my yearly physical (this is the doctor who informed me I needed to make some major changes in my lifestyle, God bless her for that!). Her nurse was taking my blood pressure and then pressed her finger into my forearm expecting it to sink in (I guess to see if I was swollen or something), and exclaimed, "Oh! That's muscle!!" Uhhh... surprise?

Today, 30 pounds lighter, one of my coworkers who, bless his heart, I suspect was raised in a closet and fed under the door due to his lack of social skills (or possibly raised by wild animals), sat down by my desk and leaned over and quietly asked me, "Have you lost weight, or are you just buying bigger clothes?" :noway: Really?

When my boyfriend and I first started dating and his mom saw pictures of us together, she called him to find out who I was, etc. He told her that we were seeing one another and her first response was, "You sure do like 'em big, huh son?" It wasn't meant to be hurtful and I took it in stride when he told me, but still. Awkward.

Another thing that was kind of awkward/funny was that recently I posted a picture of a group and he was in it, and he was sitting bent over and so his stomach was a little poochy (the guy is like 5'9 and between 165-175lbs - so he's not stick thin but he's not fat, either). Anyways, his mom called and mentioned the picture, commenting on how he looks like he's gained weight. His response? "Yeah, thanks mom for calling to be like, 'Hey son! Looks like you're getting fat.'" I couldn't help but laugh at his response.

I should mention that his mom is an incredible woman and she is absolutely hilarious - both are just examples of speaking before you think!

Went to go and get my breast scanned for cancer, and the lady who was checking me laughed and said "You ever thought about getting a breast reduction?"

These stories are so painful. I have never been overweight, so I don't know the struggle. But I have gained and lost weight and have heard the weight comments. I can't imagine what it feels like to be asked him i'm pregnant. wtf?????? Even if I wonder, or suspect someone is, it's just good sense to NEVER ASK. Where are people's home training? Good grief...

"you know losing a lot of weight makes your face look older"

so now I have to choose between being fat or looking old. Uh, thanks.

At last year's extended family Christmas get together, in front of 25 - 30 cousins, aunts, uncles, etc., my 80-year-old grandmother loudly exclaimed when I arrived fashionably late, "Oh my! You've grown so much since I last saw you!" ...Awkward chuckle... Umm, thanks, grandma...! Bless her heart, she said it in the same way she would have marvelled over a child growing a few inches taller. The only growing I'd done was around my waist!

Gotta love Grandma's - LOL. Somehow they can make a comment and you accept it (may not like it) yet someone else can make a comment and you view it in a totally different way.

I'm sure one of the most awkward comments would be "When is your baby due". And I don't know who would be more embarrassed the person making the comment after realizing you aren't pregnant or you on the receiving end. Thank goodness nobody has asked me that (yet)