Why did you dump the person above you?

stole my hair die

Kept Riding my *kitten* lol

Wouldn't do "that"

She had nightmares-- dreamed that I was snoring.....

She was constantly making funny faces.... her face finally stuck and I couldn't handle it.

frequently smelled a little fishy

She didnt like dogs in coats.

Refused to accommodate my fascination with dimples.

She said I looked like Puck from the Real World San Francisco.

because they kept sending me text messages all day saying things like...

I want to wear your privates like a meat mask

or

can I preserve your eyes in a mason jar?

the worst was when they bought me that set of henckel knives (claiming that they were new) for my birthday and when I pulled the first one out of the butchers block there was the stain of blood and a post it note taped to the blade saying "thinking of you"


do you blame me?

She eating another gal's honey and would not share.