I just have to accept that I will always be fat

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  • mboromom
    mboromom Posts: 85 Member
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    You are making it WAY harder than it is.....stop the yoyo dieting because once it's over and you set back into your life habits, the weight will come back.

    1. Stop beating yourself up
    2. Eat at a "healthy deficit" (the foods you love in moderation) Mostly protein, lots of veggies, and fruits, and a little bit of carbs for the amount you are trying to lose.
    3. Move your body for at least 30 minutes a day...walk, dance, do jumping jacks, whatever
    4. Drink plenty water

    Great habits that will bring great results!
  • mboromom
    mboromom Posts: 85 Member
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    Add me as a friend if you want. We can do this together! :-)
  • Mr_Excitement
    Mr_Excitement Posts: 833 Member
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    You really don't need to beat yourself up or be uncomfortable to lose weight. You don't need to get up at 6AM and run, either-- unless you just love running.

    As has been posted already, just figure out how many calories your body needs to fuel itself (this site has a calorie calculator), and eat 10% less than that each day. If you can substitute a meal or two with things like lean meats and vegetables, you probably won't even feel the deficit, as these kinds of foods are a lot less calorie dense than things most people consider "comfort foods".
  • Muddy_Yogi
    Muddy_Yogi Posts: 1,459 Member
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    No, you just have to accept the fact that you just don't want to lose the weight badly enough. What's your motivation? Health? Looks?

    It may just not be the right time for you. You'd make it a top priority otherwise.

    First this....because if you are going to do it...You will need to want to do it.
  • saradord
    saradord Posts: 129
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    Well after finding out that a tiny wee bit of choccy is 300 calories I won't be eating it again .

    Thanks for the TDEE thing that's interesting but I didn't really get what I was supposed to be eating.

    I think I just want to try being happy and see if that makes me lose weight
    [/quo

    Live for today and take small steps to being healthy, it 's a life style change not a diet and figuring what you want first off!! when you think positive , positive things will happen but being negative will not accomplish anything just hold you back from what you really want. throw tose negative thoughts away and be POSTIVE !!!:smile:
  • love2lift_85
    love2lift_85 Posts: 356 Member
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    Wait, what???? your 500 calories of... what? For the day??? Yikes, ANYONE would fail on that plan... if that's what you're talking about.

    Try just a reasonable amount of calories for the day, maybe 1700... and then pre-log your food the day before. I've found it very helpful. Eat the foods you enjoy, even treats, in moderation and you'll be fine. Deprivation and failure go hand in hand. Notice that those who practice extreme restriction also tend to fall into extreme binges. Work a candy bar into your daily calories every day, if ya have to... some of the most successful weight-loss stories around here are people who eat ice cream almost every day!
  • waltbran
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    IMHO you are too focused on what you can't have food wise. My husband is an incredible professional chef and I knew early on in my weight loss journey I would not be able to restrict what I eat and have long term success, so I moved my butt. I use to hate to exercise, but I liked to eat more...so I made a choice. In time, I started to love to workout and now eat what I want. The funny thing is once I started getting in better shape from working out my desire to put nothing but junk in my body started to lessen. Do I still eat a Wendy's cheeseburger, you better believe it and without guilt. I make smart choices because a 3000 calorie 7 course tasting meal on Saturday night means a five mile run on Sunday. (A year ago, I couldn't walk a mile, now I am training for a half marathon and have done a sprint tri...our bodies are amazing resilient machines) I went from 230 in Dec of 2012 to 150 today and I worked for every pound, not one pound lost was easy or a surprise.

    I leave you with this, I saw on your profile you are a Mom. Getting in better shape was the best thing I have done for me but also for my son. I have energy to play and be silly with him like never before. That being said, finding time to workout was hard. I work full time, volunteer, am active in several community programs, plus I want a life but I made the choice to find the time. Don't spend time finding excuses, find a way. (Mine meant setting my DVR vs. staying up late at hitting the gym at 5AM and working out on my lunch break)

    You can do it if you want it, but you have to make the choice. Good luck.
  • wibutterflymagic
    wibutterflymagic Posts: 788 Member
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    I don't know why I'm even responding because first off your attitude sucks and if all you want to do is have a pity party then yes you will be fat forever. But, here is goes.....second, stop with "diets". If you want to lose weight you have to change your eating lifestyle. Third, slashing calories will not work in the long run. Go to http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/ and punch in your info and figure out your daily calorie goal. And, your daily goal is the # of calories your body should be consuming AFTER eating back exercise calories if they are not already calculated into your daily #.

    And finally, it's up to you. This site has a ton of great info and ideas but you have to do the work to research them. The whole "whoa is me nothing's working" doesn't accomplish anything and your body isn't any different then anyone elses so you can do it if you choose to.
  • loconnor466
    loconnor466 Posts: 215 Member
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    Just thought I'd "remind" you that you don't actually believe what you just said (wink).

    The following is from your profile. You're saying all of this is off the table now, right? Suddenly these things do not matter to you? Hmmmmmmm..... Or is it that you're just having a frustrated moment and choosing to lay down and give up, instead of grabbing your life by the horns and changing things until they work? <==Which of those two options sounds like the mature choice? And which sounds like the immature? Which would you rather be? Immature and overweight? Or mature and healthy? Think about it..............................................


    ==============================
    About Me:
    •I am a hardworking stay at home mum to my two beautiful boys.
    •Totally love my husband who is supportive, kind, sexy and gentle. Can't wait to lose some weight and feel more positive about myself.

    Why I want to get in shape:
    •Better sex
    •Better health
    •To fit into the beautiful clothes I have.

    My Inspirations:
    •My bestie, who lost 4 stone last year
    •My gorgeous box of clothes that i do not fit into
    •My husband, who is beautiful and deserves a beautiful wife
    •My children, who love that i can run about with them

    I love this ^ Read this again and again. And be a little kinder to yourself, you have already lost 46 pounds? That is awesome! I can't wait till I see that kind of loss! Did you do it on the 5:2? If so, maybe you need to give your body a break from that and listen to the advice here on TDEE. I get bummed about how slow it is coming off, but you know what? I didn't become overweight overnight either! Please don't give up, and try to make it more of a lifestyle change than a diet.
  • Muddy_Yogi
    Muddy_Yogi Posts: 1,459 Member
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    Figure out your TDEE and eat 15- 20% lower than that....MOVE your body...any way you can...JUST MOVE! Find some weights...real ones...and lift them up and put them down! and decide that this is what you really want! Then every time you feel like being lazy, feel like over fueling your body...STOP...remember why you are doing it. AND DO IT!
  • luckydays27
    luckydays27 Posts: 552 Member
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    I think all of us have felt this way at some time or another. The only reason that I have been able to lose the weight this time is because I am tired of being fat. Its just the reality. Its hard being the fattest person you know. Its hard having to always be aware of the space/weight limitations. Its hard only having a handful of stores to buy clothes from.

    But its also hard to lose when you have the mentality that its hard!!

    I have lost 65 lbs in about a year because I no longer make it hard. I eat lots of food and nothing is restricted from my diet unless I dont like to eat that food (sorry bacon lovers, I dont do pork). I do workout and yes, its a hard workout but its not hard to get started. I love to go to the gym and I sweat, grunt, moan and pray that I can get through the set sometimes. But once its over, man its a great high.

    I think you are trying a plan that just does not work for you. You need to find what will. If you have no discipline, you will fail and you will always be fat. But you dont have to limit your calorie intake to 500 cals two days a week to lose weight.

    You also dont have to eat so few calories the rest of the week to lose either.

    Try doing the MFP method and start at 1 lb a week loss. You eat those cals plus most (or all) of what you burned in fitness that day. Its 500 cal deficit off what you burn every day. If you want to eat more food that day, go for a walk or get a workout in. If you want pizza, make sure you have the cals in the bank to cover it. Its really that simple.

    You can also try the TDEE - xx% method as well. This method has your fitness cals included in the TDEE number so you are supposed to eat the same amount eat day. Again, no food restrictions.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    I'm surprised how many people on this topic think that 5:2 means you eat 500 cals per day. It's only 2 days per week people.... other days you eat at TDEE. Please read up before you post on something like that. It's a brilliant way of eating, you know we are not meant to graze all day with food. The health benefits of it are brilliant as well. It's not starvation when you restrict yourself 2 days a week & then eat like a normal person for 5 days.

    OP the whole point of 5:2 is to FEEL hunger so you know what it feels like & therefore not just eat because you think you are hungry. I know you feel like you let yourself down, but that's not the case. Don't give up. Try again. There is more freedom in doing this way of eating than you realize.

    Try again, just one more time. Be strong. When you feel that hunger.... embrace it. Tell yourself that you can eat later. Tell yourself to go grab a glass of warm water & go for a walk or do something to keep your mind out of the kitchen. Have some miso soup, it's low in cals & works great. Most people have a cup of bonox (I think that's what it is) and they continue on.

    Don't give up. Don't give in. Just one more fast day. If then it's not for you. Eat at TDEE -10% and exercise.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    First things first. You know yourself well enough that you don't do well on extremely restrictive diets. Don't even try them. They fail for most people.

    Second: Food scale. I can't say it enough. FOOD SCALE. Get one or pull the scale out of the cupboard and use it for everything you eat. It adds a couple minutes to your prep time. That is it.

    A calorie counting diet would probably serve you very well. Pick a 1 pound/.5kg weight loss a week, try to get a little exercise, and stick within that calorie goal every day.

    Eat the foods you want. If you want chocolate, break off a portion, weigh it, look at the package and figure out how many grams is in a serving and what the calories are. Adjust to fit it within your day. If you know you're going to cave and eat it anyway, count it as part of your day. I couldn't live without chocolate. I work it in.

    Take this whole process slowly. Don't rush yourself or feel like you're failing if you have days or weeks where you don't lose. Nobody does this perfectly. You're human. Just do the best you can.

    The only thing you CAN'T do is give up.
  • shirleygirl910
    shirleygirl910 Posts: 503 Member
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    Originally being 314 lbs. I knew I had to do something, but I felt overwhelmed.

    Start with learning portion size. It's amazing what you find. Also try reading "eat this not that". It's basically a picture book, but it helps to start thinking healthier. Try to cut out as much processed foods as possible, but it's hard at first. Start with this and I think you will be amazed.
  • chopper_pilot
    chopper_pilot Posts: 191 Member
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    Why do you assume that dieting is the only way to stop being fat.

    I ate a box of brownie batter this weekend and 2 whoppers.

    dont look at me like that, there was no raw egg in it.

    anyway, I dont wont diet. I occasionally limit my sugar and dairy to keep myself in check, but i wont diet. I wont even cardio.

    I just lift weights so I can eat bacon and chocolate and burgers and pizza and all teh foodz.

    Give up if you want to give up, dont give up cause there is no hope.

    Cause if there is no hope, then you're just looking at it the wrong way.
  • chopper_pilot
    chopper_pilot Posts: 191 Member
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    I hate dieting. So instead I eat a TON of food, including chocolate, pizza, and all the other good stuff. And I just burn it off. Running and weight lifting facilitate my love of food. And you know what? I lost 70 pounds doing that.

    same here - but make that 100 pounds.
  • feelin_gr_8
    feelin_gr_8 Posts: 308 Member
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    I ate a 3 course dinner from a restaurant yesterday and still stayed under calories. Carbs, candy, and not starving. It takes practice to get into the habit. And do something that's sustainable for you. If you are feeling tortured and deprived the whole time, of course you won't be able to keep it up!
  • rob1976
    rob1976 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    I found that I had a major breakthrough when I convinced myself that "diet" is a noun, not a verb. Diet is what you eat, not something you do until you reach a weight goal and then go back eating whatever again.

    The next thing I did was start to find tasty healthy things I can eat in moderation on a daily basis. This is a LIFELONG CHANGE, so they need to be things that I don't necessarily dread eating.

    I also made up my mind that the scale is not the nest gauge of my progress. I am hitting the weight room really hard, so I will be putting on lean muscle mass. My scale will be going up while my BFP goes down. Because of this, I started calling it "fat loss" instead of "weight loss".

    I found myself starting to look at food as a fuel for my body instead of the enjoyment I got out tasting things. The things that are horrible for you taste great, but you feel awful about yourself after you eat them. I eliminated that guilt by eliminating things like sweets and soda from my diet. They tank my fat loss, so they are not good for me. I designed my daily eating habits around a 5/2 mindset. That is, 2 servings of the 5 major groups daily:

    2 breads & grains
    2 fruits
    2 vegetables
    2 dairy
    2 meats & nuts

    I also know that exercise is a huge component of fat loss, so I started doing things over and above what I normally do. I go to the gym and lift weights Mon-Wed-Fri and I do run/walk interval training Tue-Thu-Sat. I also found ways to incorporate exercise into my daily routine. I park at the far side of the parking lot at the store and walk in. I take the stairs instead of the elevator/escalator. Anything I can do that requires a physical effort all contribute to my daily fat loss.

    While I know that you are not me and I am not you, I am merely giving you examples of what I did to make up my mind that this is going to be a change that sticks. YMMV and I wish you the best of luck in your pursuits.

    ETA: Drink water. Water, water, water. Don't drink anything unless it's water. I cheat a bit with my morning cup of coffee, but I do that more for everyone else's safety. LOL
  • chopper_pilot
    chopper_pilot Posts: 191 Member
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    I can't afford a therapist. I have one counsellor I go and see but she's 30 miles away and I can't afford to take the time out right now. That's my only option for a counsellor.

    I think people forget that things like 'nutritional HCP' and counsellors are not easy to come by in the uk.

    you know what is?

    walking. for a half hour. twice a day. 5 days a week.

    I hear that is super easy to get your hands on in the UK and can help you lose the first 30 pounds with barely any other effort.
  • qtgonewild
    qtgonewild Posts: 1,930 Member
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    You dont have to starve or do 5:2 to lose weight. I have always been fat. but then something clicked and i decided i would love myself enough to take care of myself. When that clicks for you, you'll get it. until then You most definitely will not.