Just an observation....almost scared to post!

I'll just leave this here

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1088600-dear-mean-people-of-mfp?hl=dear+mean+people

Read the original post of that thread.


I'm going to have to bookmark it soon, there are so many "mean people" threads lately.

DAMN people! Your remarks could be a little kinder...

She was just stating the obvious and I believe her point has been proven by the way that 90% have jumped in with rude/sarcastic comments...

Of course people are mean on here.. Most are starving and cranky!! :explode: LOL!!

LOL LOVE this comment

So it's ok for you to be mean but it's not ok for anyone else. Got it.

I haven't been posting or even reading these posts very much until recently, but wow.....has anyone else noticed how mean people can be? I'm afraid to ask any questions for fear of being ridiculed for being utterly ignorant about how my own body works. Yes, I'd like to lose weight; Yes, I realize it takes hard work and dedication; Yes, I am HUMAN and make mistakes, excuses, missteps, etc. No one is perfect.

As I said, just an observation.

I'd say you are mostly incorrect in your assessment(s).

The only people that get "ridiculed" are the ones that have no clue what they are talking about. Yet, they insist that they are correct, even when presented with actual scientific evidence/proof of the opposite of what they are saying. And they continue to believe the broscience and/or pseudoscience that "supports" their claims.

I guess that's not entirely true, either. I've seen many of those people "ridicule" those that have actually studied and learned how things actually work because they refuse to understand that they don't know everything. There is also a subset of posters that get "ridiculed" due to their affiliations with certain fitness-related companies. Outside of those few cases, it's typically fine.

If you really have questions, I would recommend using MFP's search feature. I say that I "would," but the search feature here is terrible. Try it if you like, but don't be surprised if you go through three pages of results - all referring you to the same 2 threads. Ask the community. You'll get answers. Listen to the people that can provide actual scientific studies to support their claims - not people telling you to watch faux documentaries or youtube videos or read blogs.

And I would most wholeheartedly disagree with this assessment. I once read a post about 6 months ago where a lovely lady was asking how to increase the calories in her meals because she was not reaching her minimum. People jumped on her like nobody's business, flat out asking if she was stupid. On the positive side, there were many people who recognized what her question was (asking for ideas to add to her current meal plan) and offered excellent advice like adding feta cheese, chicken or walnuts to your salad, etc.

You will find very helpful people here. Keep in mind, there are thousands of people on MFP so you will get responses of all types. Ignore the hurtful, judgmental or non-helpful replies and focus on those who genuinely want to help.

Thanks for the entertainment everybody - great lunch break!

Back in for bullying cats.

Snip because holy cow this is getting long.

And that's part of the issue, that Google tailors searches based on your history unless you choose to turn that feature off. When I search "raspberry ketones" without having searched for it before, the first several entries (excluding Wikipedia, which has a bad rep among some people for some reason) are positive endorsements including Dr. Oz, who for some reason still has credibility with millions of Americans.

I'm not saying we shouldn't correct people. I'm saying we should understand that they don't know better and not take our frustration out on them.

Interesting. Regardless, I have no sympathy for someone asking about something for which they have clearly spent ZERO time learning about.

Isn't asking on these forums an attempt to learn about things?

Publicly posing the question to thousands of strangers on the internet should never be someone's first step to learning about a supplement.

SOOOO much truth in that statement, yet so few follow this common sense approach (smh)

I haven't been posting or even reading these posts very much until recently, but wow.....has anyone else noticed how mean people can be? I'm afraid to ask any questions for fear of being ridiculed for being utterly ignorant about how my own body works. Yes, I'd like to lose weight; Yes, I realize it takes hard work and dedication; Yes, I am HUMAN and make mistakes, excuses, missteps, etc. No one is perfect.

As I said, just an observation.

I'd say you are mostly incorrect in your assessment(s).

The only people that get "ridiculed" are the ones that have no clue what they are talking about. Yet, they insist that they are correct, even when presented with actual scientific evidence/proof of the opposite of what they are saying. And they continue to believe the broscience and/or pseudoscience that "supports" their claims.

I guess that's not entirely true, either. I've seen many of those people "ridicule" those that have actually studied and learned how things actually work because they refuse to understand that they don't know everything. There is also a subset of posters that get "ridiculed" due to their affiliations with certain fitness-related companies. Outside of those few cases, it's typically fine.

If you really have questions, I would recommend using MFP's search feature. I say that I "would," but the search feature here is terrible. Try it if you like, but don't be surprised if you go through three pages of results - all referring you to the same 2 threads. Ask the community. You'll get answers. Listen to the people that can provide actual scientific studies to support their claims - not people telling you to watch faux documentaries or youtube videos or read blogs.

And I would most wholeheartedly disagree with this assessment. I once read a post about 6 months ago where a lovely lady was asking how to increase the calories in her meals because she was not reaching her minimum. People jumped on her like nobody's business, flat out asking if she was stupid. On the positive side, there were many people who recognized what her question was (asking for ideas to add to her current meal plan) and offered excellent advice like adding feta cheese, chicken or walnuts to your salad, etc.

You will find very helpful people here. Keep in mind, there are thousands of people on MFP so you will get responses of all types. Ignore the hurtful, judgmental or non-helpful replies and focus on those who genuinely want to help.

Perhaps you could link us to this thread.

I haven't been posting or even reading these posts very much until recently, but wow.....has anyone else noticed how mean people can be? I'm afraid to ask any questions for fear of being ridiculed for being utterly ignorant about how my own body works. Yes, I'd like to lose weight; Yes, I realize it takes hard work and dedication; Yes, I am HUMAN and make mistakes, excuses, missteps, etc. No one is perfect.

As I said, just an observation.

I'd say you are mostly incorrect in your assessment(s).

The only people that get "ridiculed" are the ones that have no clue what they are talking about. Yet, they insist that they are correct, even when presented with actual scientific evidence/proof of the opposite of what they are saying. And they continue to believe the broscience and/or pseudoscience that "supports" their claims.

I guess that's not entirely true, either. I've seen many of those people "ridicule" those that have actually studied and learned how things actually work because they refuse to understand that they don't know everything. There is also a subset of posters that get "ridiculed" due to their affiliations with certain fitness-related companies. Outside of those few cases, it's typically fine.

If you really have questions, I would recommend using MFP's search feature. I say that I "would," but the search feature here is terrible. Try it if you like, but don't be surprised if you go through three pages of results - all referring you to the same 2 threads. Ask the community. You'll get answers. Listen to the people that can provide actual scientific studies to support their claims - not people telling you to watch faux documentaries or youtube videos or read blogs.

And I would most wholeheartedly disagree with this assessment. I once read a post about 6 months ago where a lovely lady was asking how to increase the calories in her meals because she was not reaching her minimum. People jumped on her like nobody's business, flat out asking if she was stupid. On the positive side, there were many people who recognized what her question was (asking for ideas to add to her current meal plan) and offered excellent advice like adding feta cheese, chicken or walnuts to your salad, etc.

You will find very helpful people here. Keep in mind, there are thousands of people on MFP so you will get responses of all types. Ignore the hurtful, judgmental or non-helpful replies and focus on those who genuinely want to help.

Perhaps you could link us to this thread.

Request 2nded.

Thirded

Back in for bullying cats.

I haven't been posting or even reading these posts very much until recently, but wow.....has anyone else noticed how mean people can be? I'm afraid to ask any questions for fear of being ridiculed for being utterly ignorant about how my own body works. Yes, I'd like to lose weight; Yes, I realize it takes hard work and dedication; Yes, I am HUMAN and make mistakes, excuses, missteps, etc. No one is perfect.

As I said, just an observation.

Yep, seems to be what people are on here for. If you want good advice and a forum where people respect each other, this isn't it

I can agree to a point. There are some mean people on here who are just that...mean. There are also know-it-alls who come off mean as well. But there are a lot of people on here who are amazing and nice. Most of the people on here just don't put up with BS and do not want to see continous whining or excuses. If you ask for help, take advice, do not just make excuses. Take the advice given to you.

This.

I'm a very nice person, but when I see a post of excuse after excuse and blaming others/things/events/etc for weight gain instead of taking responsibility? No, I'm going to be flat-out honest and so are a lot of others here. It sometimes comes off as being mean or rude, but when you've been on the boards for awhile, you see a pattern. There are people who post and legitimately have no idea what they're doing wrong, they open their food diary willingly (even better, it was never closed), they are upfront about everything "bad" that they've eaten/done, and, yeah, it eventually turns into a big argument, but that OP is going to get a lot of real and good advice until someone stirs the pot.

Now, there are also people who post a question demanding us to tell them why they aren't losing weight but won't be upfront about anything, their diary is closed and they won't open it (but they PROMISE they are doing everything right!), and they won't answer anything very directly (we ask for their stats, they say "I'm tall and I'm in my 20s")--and when we tell them that we can't help unless they are completely honest, it turns into a huge fight. "I am being honest!" "Well, no, you aren't. I think you're leaving some of the story out." "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!"

I think for the most part, we have a very nice community of kind, helpful people. There are a lot of people who push their way of doing something--whether that be diet-related or exercise-related or whatever. People come here and tell experienced members that the ONLY way to lose weight is eating clean/eating low-carb/fasting two days out of the week/only eating between 9am and 6pm/etc. People come by and say they gained weight by drinking too much water. Or they know of the magical pill or supplement to magically shed the pounds--no calorie counting, no dieting, eat anything you want and still lose five pounds every day! And what does this do? It tells new, inexperienced members conflicting ideas and makes them doubt themselves, so they try someone's crazy weight loss method for a few days, don't lose any weight, come here to ask us why, and when we tell them the information is wrong, there's another fight!

So yes, there are downright mean people on the boards. There are people on the boards who are self-appointed experts and it comes across as mean when they post. There are people who are frustrated with their failed weight loss efforts and they make rash remarks on posts here. But there are also a lot of nice, helpful people on the boards, too. If you want to see the nicer side of MFP, spend some time on the success stories forum. It's motivating and people are generally respectful enough to not turn it into a fight.

Everyone is behind a screen and a username. As technology grows, hostility does too (at least online). I can say whatever I want and there's not much that you can do about it unless it's harmful enough to report or ban me. If I did the same offline, I could very well get punched or bullied/shunned/etc by my peers--depending on severity, I could be fined or jailed, cops could be involved, my reputation could be ruined, I could lose my job or get reprimanded by my superiors, etc. There aren't as many consequences to being a jerk online as there are offline, so people like to vent frustration online where not much can be done in return. My name is protected, my face, my location, my job. If I fight with my fiance and want to say mean things but not lose all of my friends, I could go online and cuss people out or make them feel bad like I feel bad (I wouldn't--this is all an example). Anyone can come to this post and say, "well, you aren't protected online all the time--what about people who commit online crimes like child porn and identity theft?" just to further draw out my point. To which I could say it's an example, everything else is implied,etc. To which the response could very well be something antagonizing. And then we're fighting!

I try to be clear in my posts. But I've gotten more than one message from someone who misunderstood me, thought I was being a grade-A jerk or know-it-all or maybe thought I was dumb and missed a big point, and then felt the need to send me a long-winded PM about how offended they were and how I need to be less of a dumb b**ch.

We can't all get along with the anonymity of the internet. You could be next door to me or five-hundred miles away or in a completely different country. That's powerful. I can say everything I've ever wanted to say to my nasty customers on the internet. I might be in a lot of pain. I can vent and not address the real problem in my life offline.

Try to stay away from any titles mentioning "1200 calories," "calories are not created equal," "low carb," anything that sounds like a fad or mentions diet pills, and a lot of "why am I not losing weight?" discussions. Now that I've been on the forums for awhile, I tend to notice when something is just going to turn into one big fight so I stay away. Sometimes you don't know until you read a page or two of the replies. But certain topics are automatically going to trigger a big blowup. Kind of like this topic. But I felt like replying anyways.

I wish the forums (and the internet in general) could be one big happy place where everyone is automatically nicer online, but I'll settle for helpful and supportive with the added craziness of mixed opinions.

ETA:

tl'dr: that's the internet for you.

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omg is this thread still going? where are the cat gifs???????????? I need some more cat gifs!

OP, all I can say is that you'll get used to it. And with any luck, you'll get a chance to throw something wickedly funny back at one of the meanies ... then you'll be a meanie too.

That being said ... if you have questions, better to ask the people on your home page than ask here and risk being torn apart by a pack of hungry dingoes.

After reading this, 'ask your homies' advice several times in this thread... I felt it might be necessary to point out, that.... if all your friends on your homepage are backslapping ' Way to goers.... NICE BURN ! ' and actually know jacksh*t about the correct answer to your question... you'll get the exact answer that you want to hear, not necessarily the correct one. I'd rather be torn apart by the dingos, and wind up with the correct advice, than be steered wrong by some well-meaning do-gooders who are afraid to hurt my feelings.

The cat with the toast gif, now makes me want cinnamon toast. But, that was another thread....