I just have to accept that I will always be fat

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  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    I can't afford a therapist. I have one counsellor I go and see but she's 30 miles away and I can't afford to take the time out right now. That's my only option for a counsellor.

    I think people forget that things like 'nutritional HCP' and counsellors are not easy to come by in the uk.

    You can't afford NOT to stick with this counselor. If you can get some basic emotional and psychological needs met it will help get you in a better place emotionally to start losing. Then, you will start losing and feeling better. As you start feeling better you will become more motivated and lose more. The snowball will keep growing as you keep shrinking.

    I tried to lose weight by berating myself and telling myself I was all kinds of negative things. It did NOT work. Only when I relented and said to myself "Ok, you don't suck THAT bad." did I feel ok with trying to make myself better.

    Support yourself and try not ignore any negative self dialogue that rattles around in your head.

    We'll support you too. Even, those who aren't so gentle with their "support" really want to see you succeed. We all do.
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
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    I follow the simple rules of eat when I'm hungry and make it a healthy decision no I'm not talking about salads all the time.
    I had fries on the weekend :wink: everything in moderation.
    And try to get out, walk, run, gym, swim anything even for 30mins a day.
    And I don't beat myself up if I miss a day of workout.

    Seems to be working for me :) and i'm happy :)

    FYI there is not :explode: I could eat 500 calories between two days... if that is what you said...
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    Well after finding out that a tiny wee bit of choccy is 300 calories I won't be eating it again .

    Thanks for the TDEE thing that's interesting but I didn't really get what I was supposed to be eating.

    I think I just want to try being happy and see if that makes me lose weight

    being happy doesn't help you lose weight.

    Agreed. A healthy self-esteem with a daily calorie deficit is a good start. Start doing a sh*tload of homework on both of these. Google.com is your friend.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Thank you :) I think acceptance is what I need rather than trying to become something I am not.

    I have reached that point (fine. I'll just be fat forever) so many times. All that it means is that you haven't found the right thing for you.

    For me, the balance tilted when I found a way to incorporate exercise into my many commitments and using MFP to make sure I neither under eat nor over eat. Just keep trying things until you find something that works for YOU!

    I would also recommend the book "The Willpower Instinct"
  • kittykat925
    kittykat925 Posts: 64 Member
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    No more 5:2

    No more restrictions

    No more DIET.

    If you want this to work, its all about finding something that works for you that you can stick with. You need to eat what you want, along with nutrient rich foods. Find healthy foods that you enjoy eating, but don't live off of just that; enjoy the foods you love. Enjoy the balance. And find some exercise you enjoy. It doesn't have to be super vigorous, just something you enjoy. And make sure you eat enough.

    ^^^This

    You can do this! There is no need to give up reaching for what you want, just know that it takes time and will not happen overnight. Also, there is no need to feel hungry or like you are starving yourself because in the long run that will backfire.

    P.S. We will accept you for who you are; after all, isn't that why we are all on here...to attain a healthy eating/fitness goal of some sort?

    best of luck to you. :smile:
  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
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    I have tried so many diets, I dont have the discipline, I LOVE food that is bad for me, it makes me feel full in a different way to anything else.

    I will just always be fat, there is no other option for me.

    I have been trying this 5:2 diet, I got so hungry and found a galaxy bar and ate it at about 4pm

    I've also had a bowl of granola and a yogurt and a banana today.

    well over my 500 calories, so I have basically been hungry all day for no reason what so ever.

    I give up, this is the end of my weight loss journey because I am just not good enough and I never ever will be.

    Off to throw away my 'skinny' clothes.

    You can go that route if you wish to but that's your 'Choice'. You can beat yourself up about a chocolate bar or just get on with it. Weightloss is mainly about mindset if you want it you do it. We can all make excuses but it comes down to doing the work. Fad diets don't work its a basic eat less than you expend and you'll lose weight. So find a way to make that work for you as we all work these things in a different way.

    No one can give you motivation that's up to you. Good health and being there for your family should be motivation enough if not why not. Look at your reasoning and why. Maybe the reason you failed on 5:2 was that you were being un realistic in your food choices and aims. Have a rethink and decide what you are going to do. You can either go the self pity route 'I'm always going to be fat' or just go and do it. It's not always easy but when you start to achieve you will know you can. As I said it a choice you need to make.

    Good luck
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    OMG I still love how people didn't even read the OP's post about it not being 500cals a day...it's 500cals TWO days a week.
  • Luv2Smile55
    Luv2Smile55 Posts: 133 Member
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    Awe ... Please don't give up. I am in my fifties and have been where you are a million times. I have gotten back up from falling off the wagon a million AND one times.
    Just keep trying. If what you're doing now isn't working then let's try something else. I agree with Jillian. Do you like yogurt? If so have some Greek yogurt for your protein and mix in a little fruit. I think it's important to have protein. I am giving that a shot today. A Dr said that we should have protein with every meal so I'm going to try that. He also said to eat less processed foods as in less white stuff; for example sugar, flour, white rice. We need more whole grains and less processed crap to feel satisfied and beat the cravings. Let me know if I can help. Let's make 2014 the year that we learn to eat what fuels our bodies but that we like as well and let's lose some LBs. We CAN do this!! :smile: :flowerforyou:
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
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    You appear to be seeking attention (and getting it). Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
  • FeebRyan
    FeebRyan Posts: 738 Member
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    Okay well I have eaten a jacket potato... With beans and cheese on

    Not loads of cheese

    I feel a lot better (and warmer)

    I have made some positive changes in the last few weeks, we've reduced red meat down to once a week, opting for veggies and fish most nights and chicken and veggies the others

    It's the comfort eating that I need to stop, getting munchies in the evenings Etc

    I've also stopped eating wheat, not because of weightloss necessarily but because it's bad for me and gives me the runs and indigestion and wind.

    I've also started having diet drinks instead of anything full fat

    Even with the stuff I have eaten tonight, I've not gone over my 2350 calories needed to lose weight according to the scooby people

    So I think I am going to tell myself that I have changed sonething rather than failed something.
  • tesha_chandler
    tesha_chandler Posts: 378 Member
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    We ALL love food. The difference between those who are successful with weight loss and those who are not is who walks away from the cookie and who eats it. You have to make walking away from bad foods a habit. NO ONE is "meant to be fat." Being fat is a choice that a lot of us have made, but you have to make the choice to correct what you have done wrong. Feel free to add me for support. :)
  • alhumphreys
    alhumphreys Posts: 53 Member
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    It usually annoys me when people give rude feedback, but this post is crazy. You either want to lose weight or you don't want to lose weight. BUT if you wanted to give up why would you even bother posting this ?? Just give up, but don't go seeking for attention. You are in control of your habits, no one else. :huh:
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Okay well I have eaten a jacket potato... With beans and cheese on

    Not loads of cheese

    I feel a lot better (and warmer)

    I have made some positive changes in the last few weeks, we've reduced red meat down to once a week, opting for veggies and fish most nights and chicken and veggies the others

    It's the comfort eating that I need to stop, getting munchies in the evenings Etc

    I've also stopped eating wheat, not because of weightloss necessarily but because it's bad for me and gives me the runs and indigestion and wind.

    I've also started having diet drinks instead of anything full fat

    Even with the stuff I have eaten tonight, I've not gone over my 2350 calories needed to lose weight according to the scooby people

    So I think I am going to tell myself that I have changed something rather than failed something.

    Great attitude! If you keep getting uncontrollable munchies, boost your daily intake by 100 calories until you feel satiated between meals (and really, really hungry right before the next one).
  • rebeccacharlton148
    rebeccacharlton148 Posts: 1
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    Enjoy your life. LOVE your body (no matter the size). Eat foods you enjoy.

    Give yourself a few months. Then try to work more healthy foods into your diet. If eating right is always just about being thin, then you will likely feel upset and like a failure. Instead, LOVE your body. It works for you.

    I'm a dietitian and, after years of working with clients, I firmly believe that weight loss happens in this order:
    1. They learn to love themselves no matter how large or small.
    2. They get healthy - lots of exercise, strength training and good food.
    3. They suddenly feel like it's time to lose weight and they do.

    So, for now, focus on the first two. I have a love-hate relationship with Fitness Pal. It focuses the client on only 1 aspect of a lifelong journey!
  • TheGymGypsy
    TheGymGypsy Posts: 1,023 Member
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    It usually annoys me when people give rude feedback, but this post is crazy. You either want to lose weight or you don't want to lose weight. BUT if you wanted to give up why would you even bother posting this ?? Just give up, but don't go seeking for attention. You are in control of your habits, no one else. :huh:

    Agree. I can't be sympathetic for someone with such a horrible attitude.
  • Oscarinmiami
    Oscarinmiami Posts: 326 Member
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    don't give up, it's a marathon not a sprint...500 calories is not enough try 1,200 a day...work in a cheat day or two wednesday and sunday...it's better to lose a few pounds then to give up.
  • tracym22
    tracym22 Posts: 107 Member
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    Well done for making positive changes this week. Small steps count, you'll still get there. I too get the munchies in the evening and am trying to eat more healthily throughout the day. I bought a fitbit last week, to make me acknowledge and take control of my movement and exercise.
    Stick with it and good luck to you
  • 33Freya
    33Freya Posts: 468 Member
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    Thank you :) I think acceptance is what I need rather than trying to become something I am not.

    You are who you are, my dear, whether unhealthy or fit. You are the only one who can stand in your way. Get some counseling. It sounds like you may need help making the changes you need to make for yourself. I can't imagine only eating 500 calories in a day: that would make me crazy and growly!

    1. start tracking everything that goes into your mouth.
    2. start making changes to your diet and habits.
    3. love yourself and make sure you have positive self-talk because the way we talk to ourselves is very much self-prophesying. (if we tell ourselves that we cannot do something, it will be more likely that we cannot. If we tell ourselves that we can, it's more likely that we will, etc.) Tell yourself the things you would tell your dearest friend.
    4. be patient and just keep going.
    5. forgive yourself when you have mishaps, set backs, and get back on track the very next meal.

    You can get healthier. You can accept and love yourself the way you are and bring yourself to set goals and shoot for improvement. Write down your goals and the reasons for them.

    Good luck to you, what ever you decide though- again, it's up to you- no one can do this for you.
  • Karen_LM
    Karen_LM Posts: 61 Member
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    Rather than following diets, attempting to find magical combinations of food or eating schedules, I have found it easier to just track what i actually do using this app. I have it on a smartphone, so can track it closely all day. Its not really about restrictions and limitations, for me. Its about understanding the values and costs of food and exercise choices. I moved from the US to the UK this past summer. Everything about my life got turned upside down. Good habits, bad habits. We lived in a hotel and ate out every day for a month. That was not great.

    A few months ago, i let MFP determine calories for me without a diet goal, just so i could get back in the habit of managing my calories in/out at a maintenance, normal life level. This past week, i finally reconfigured for a lose weight level. Struggling!

    If my calorie count has shrunk to the point that i might have to stop eating or go over my goal, then i find time for a walk, or to find a youTube work out, or something to earn enough calories to sit down to dinner. Once i had that habit, it became easier to limit the treat, (half the Mars bar? A single digestive biscuit(with chocolate of course)? To avoid the situation. Some days, i just accept that i am going to go over, i dont kick myself, though i may spend the rest of the day eating vegetables so i am not hungry even if my calories are over. Or, rarely, i skip dinner.

    In the end, calories are calories. You must eat enough to fuel yourself. 'Bad' calorories, but not an excess number, will leave you feeling ill and hungry. Completely healthy calories in too low a quantity will also leave you feeling ill and hungry. Eat enough good calories to fill you, eat only as much 'bad' calories as your exercise and long term plans can manage.
  • alexandriax03
    alexandriax03 Posts: 289 Member
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    My doctor doesn't give a ****, I have sat and begged them to help me and they have just ignored it time and time again.

    Easy solution: find a new doctor. Particularly who you can build a relationship with and who will support you throughout your journey. You'll know this is "the doctor" when you meet him or her.

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