Punishment for my son. I need ideas!

Some_Watery_Tart
Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
in Chit-Chat
My 12 year old son has decided that, now that he's in 7th grade, he knows everything and no longer needs to do his homework.

Ok, not really. He's just doing that stupid pre-teen, hormone-driven thing where half the time they don't do their homework and the other half of the time they do it, but forget to turn it in.

I have taken away everything I can think of. The kid has no life anymore. I am out of things to take away unless I'm going to start denying him necessities such as food and shelter--which I haven't ruled out entirely if this continues. :wink: This kid just won't budge. So, I have decided that the next thing to try will be to show him what a lack of basic education will get him in life by forcing him to perform manual labor around the house for free. I am thinking I will assign 1 task per missed homework assignment on top of making up that homework assignment. In addition, 1 task will be assigned per class which has a grade of C or below.

This is where you all come in. I need ideas. What sorts of chores can a 12 year old boy do that will make him prefer to do his homework over performing that task? Here's my list so far:

1. Clean the dog kennel.
2. Clean the bathrooms.
3. Fold laundry (everyone's; not just his own).
4. Do the dishes.

Aaaaaaaaaaand.....GO!
«134567…10

Replies

  • FoxBean
    FoxBean Posts: 910 Member
    I would totally make him wear bum outfits to school, until he starts doing his homework.
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
    Take him with you to the drugstore to buy tampons. When you get there, tell him you're staying in the car and give him the cash to buy them.
  • HawkeyeTy
    HawkeyeTy Posts: 681 Member
    I would totally make him wear bum outfits to school, until he starts doing his homework.

    Horrible idea.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    When they were little, I would give my kids "the blackout" ... Nothing electronic (except a lightbulb) for x amount of time. Small things would get a 2 hour blackout. Big .. maybe even a 48 hour blackout.

    Now that they're in high school, they dont get the WiFi password of the day until homework is done.
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
    Send him to work for Nike in Malaysia. Or Vietnam.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    beyond-scared-straight-o.gif
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Have him pick up trash along a two mile length of road.

    Then let him know since this is what he is aspiring to, he may as well get used to it now.

    From that point on, give him the opportunity to do 2 hours of picking up trash or 2 hours of homework.

    As a secondary affect, you get a four mile walk for exercise.

    Did this for my son twice when he was 12, it solved the problem.

    Just one old man's opinion..............
  • Mainebikerchick
    Mainebikerchick Posts: 1,573 Member
    Snow shoveling or any type of yard work....picking up sticks, landscaping, gardening, stacking wood if you have a woodstove

    Washing the floors on his hands and knees with a toothbrush.

    Scrub stains...hardwater stains, other stains that will NEVER come out, no matter what you do.

    And then there's my personal favorite...picking up rocks from one place and making a pile in another. When the pile is completed, then it gets to be moved to another place to make another pile. Funny how something like piling up rocks sucks SO bad.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    At that age, I found taking things more effective. X-box, phone, laptop, whatever.
  • becky10rp
    becky10rp Posts: 573 Member
    Make him listen to Justin Bieber and New Direction on a daily basis..............take away all of HIS music - ONLY Bieber and New DIrection.

    Being a 12 year old boy - this might make him snap out of it....................
  • anj1030
    anj1030 Posts: 153 Member
    My dad used to sit at the table with my cousin until he finished his home work. Literally sit there and stare at him...sucked for both of them...but it worked.

    My cousin is a drug dealer now somewhere in Boston. Maybe this isn't a good idea. Never mind.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    How about setting aside a time for him to do his homework and helping him?
  • catfive1
    catfive1 Posts: 529 Member
    Have you ever watched this episode of the Cosby Show?

    http://www.criticalcommons.org/Members/fsustavros/clips/cosby-show-budget-example

    Might be an idea.
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    So what the hell does he do when he gets home? Sit in his room starting at the ceiling?
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    Le t him pay the consequence for his actions, if he does not do the homework he fails, ge ts in trouble from teacher, no school danceect.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    I never had that problem with my son, but my daughter almost failed out of every grade between 6th and 9th. She didn't even care if she failed. I told her she would lose her phone until she graduated to the next grade if she got held back. This year she's in 10th grade getting straight A's. I agree with the "they have to learn" thing.
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    How about setting aside a time for him to do his homework and helping him?
    This is what I would do not knowing what truly is the underlying problem he is reacting to.
  • kristen49233
    kristen49233 Posts: 385 Member
    I saw a video on FB that showed a parent going to school with their daughter who was acting up in class--went to every class with her and sat thru each of her classes until she straightened up and started taking school seriously. How embarrasing to have a parent there all the time!

    Don't know if you're in a position to be able to do that...but I sure wish I would have thought of that when my daughter was in school!
  • the_only_solution
    the_only_solution Posts: 46 Member
    My stepdaughter had this problem, and also outright lying about whether she did it. Kids gonna be kids!
    Her punishment was carrying a 5 gallon bucket full (or what she could pick up) of rocks across the yard, taking them out and stacking them one by one, putting them back in the bucket, carrying it back and doing the same on that side of the yard, Her father sat on the deck and watched, occasionally yelling about her speed or technique. He told her if she was going to not work with her head to do what she SHOULD do, she'd be stuck working with her back to do what she HAD to do.
    It took 2 sessions for a total of about 5 hours to sink in.

    Before the DCS gets called, she got water breaks and such. :)

    My husband also remedied HIS problem, which was not checking to make sure it was done. I think part of the humiliation of having to bring it and show him (not being trusted to do anything by herself) helped.
  • beernpizza2
    beernpizza2 Posts: 553 Member
    My parents used to take my bedroom door off as punishment. Weird, but it did work. Hated not having that privacy. Also, when I was grounded I wasn't alowwed to stay in my room. I had to stay in the family room with them. I was also made to do community service, and spent saturdays at my church cleaning and helping with projects.

    I was so stubborn, and did anything I could to get a rise out of my parents. He's just wanting attention. Don't give up on him, he's probably just as upset and sad as you are that this is going on.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I remember when I was a teen, my stepdad made me wash the car 16 different times in a single day. He just kept saying that I missed a spot and made me do it all over again. I'm not sure what I did to piss him off, but I'm pretty sure I never did it again.
  • 50racinggirl
    50racinggirl Posts: 96 Member
    Don't be a helicopter parent. There are natural consquences for him not doing his homework. He'll experience them and make changes. It's hard to sit back and let him do that but in the long run, both of your lives will be much better and less stressful.

    The all-knowing, all-powerful Max

    (pay no attention the man behind the curtain)

    I agree, helicopter parents make life difficult for their children. Let him fail. What happens to you when you don't do something you are supposed to do.....there is a consequence. Let him learn about consequences. There is no better teacher than failure.
  • Derp_Diggler
    Derp_Diggler Posts: 1,456 Member
    Just break up?
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    How about setting aside a time for him to do his homework and helping him?

    Teens and tweens don't want mom and dad helping them with their homework. He will just start lying to her and saying he doesn't have any. Besides, at that age, they need to learn how to work independently.
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
    Last year, my son did something similar when he was in grade 7. My new junior high kid, was a little full of himself and figured he knew everything. At the beginning of the year, I tried to talk to him about study habits, homework, etc. He's always found school pretty easy, so figured he already knew all that I was trying to impart and asked me to refrain. So I did. I didn't nag him about school, homework, studying. I had to refrain from using PowerSchool, because I knew I wouldn't be able to shut up if I saw he had something due, or low grades. He is very bright.

    Well, he was planning to get honours. He figured his minimum would be enough, so he had to watch his friends collect their awards, while he sat on the sidelines. He was embarrassed and disappointed. I decided to mention a few of the finer points of review and he asked me why I didn't tell him this before. I reminded him that I had, at the beginning of the year and he knew better. He remembered that conversation very well.

    This year, grade 8, has been very different. He has maintained honours and is feeling proud of his efforts. He knows he is putting in the work. Grade 7 wasn't a write-off, but it was a good lesson. Far better to learn it then, when a year of poor grades doesn't impact the rest of his life.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Are you sure this is laziness? You know your son best... I'm just wondering if there's any sort of underlying cause.

    * Trying to fail so he doesn't have to go to school for some reason (could be logical in a kid's head)

    * Actual problem learning the material and perhaps needs help (we thought the same of my cousin to discover he was dyslexic, and simply jumbled type fonts helped tremendously)

    * He's just being a rebellious pre-teen *kitten*? LOL
  • LokiOfAsgard
    LokiOfAsgard Posts: 378 Member
    Coming from the side that has been where he is, maybe don't be so hard on him. Ask him why he's not turning in or doing his homework. Ask him if it's just hard, or if he really just doesn't remember. This could be more than just 'I can do what I want'. He might be having real trouble and taking away his life isn't going to help that
    Trust me, I've been there.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Embarrass him in front of his friends/schoolmates. Act like the mother that just can't stop giving kisses and petnames. He will think twice about rebelling.
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
    Don't be a helicopter parent. There are natural consquences for him not doing his homework. He'll experience them and make changes. It's hard to sit back and let him do that but in the long run, both of your lives will be much better and less stressful.

    The all-knowing, all-powerful Max

    (pay no attention the man behind the curtain)

    This is true. I did this with my son when he was in 3rd or 4th grade. I told him whatever he ends up with is up to him. I also told him that in order to get into college, you need to have good grades. He's graduating 10th in his class this year.

Categories