Punishment for my son. I need ideas!

Clean his room of all his belongings except 2 days of clothes, mattress on the floor with bedding and remove the door from the frame. Trust and belongings are earned. If he wants things out of life he has to work for them. My aunt and uncle did this to my cousin. She straightened right up!

Wow - been there myself - that was the story of my Son's life at that stage. In a school system that all is marked as completed or not completed regardless of it being right or wrong - his logic was that he knew the material and would ace the tests anyways so he never would bother with homework that his classmate just simply turned in for a completion grade. He had better things to do like play his gameboy or his magic cards...

Manual labor, he might end up enjoying doing the manual labor and come to the conclusion that to be successful at something he doesn't need the education.

My boy graduated highschool went one year to college and now in Feb. he will be graduating of his training as an MP (Military Police) cuz under his own choice he decided he rather join the military.

So, there might be other reasons not solely cuz he is being defiant simply he isn't being challenged enough... which is what I ended up figuring out with my son.

Community Service at a Soup Kitchen!!!! or Local Food Bank!! it's hard work and it teaches valuable lessons about how hard life can be, as well as how rewarding it is to give back to a community!!! At first he'll hate every minute of it.....then he might like it! WIN-WIN!!!

Ah...I will say in class we had a boy doing that and his parents said it was the teachers and aides faultnecause we couldnt figure outhow to make him do the work (dont tell yhem tthat) but anyway, we told the boy the consquences of himnot doing his work was being held back. At first he said he didnt care but then he started asking what that meant and after finding out exactly whst we meamt he started doing his work. I agree thay keeping in touch with his teachers is a good idea, ask if they can email you the weeks work or plans so then you have a basic idea and can ask him about it specifically not just in general. Some school districts have started doing edline, which teachers put rhe homework online everyday so parents know. Something to make him know that youre keeping up is usually a good kick in the rear.

Teach him to be responsible. Most schools make kids keep journals or calendars with their assignments. Follow his work assignments. Show him how to put his homework in the right place when he's done so he always knows where to find it when it's time to turn it in.

I agree with this completely! When my son transitioned from elementary school to Jr. High, trying to keep track of all of the assignments and classrooms was a huge challenge for him. Now there are 6 or 7 teachers instead of one. It took my son about a trimester to learn how to use his student planner and make sure that he was making time to get organized and get all the assignments done. He's a pro now, but it took some time to learn how to be a middle-schooler.

As a mom of three sons, 17, 13 and 10 I would not recommend any punishment. If you are looking for a way to make your children do what you want or what they should, then punishments aren't the best method. They just teach through fear or manipulation. Better to reward your child for doing the right thing than to ever punish for the wrong. Now consequences are entirely different. Those are set up in advance and known. Such as if he lies, then he will get no electronics for the whole weekend. My boys don't have electronics during the school week, so this is a pretty big deal to them. And no going to a friend's house to access electronics either. I would instead make a chart and check his homework every night. If he has done it, then mark it down. If he turns it in, then mark that down. So at the end of the week if he has 10 checks, lets say, then tell him he has earned a reward for being responsible, whatever that may be. It is responsibility you are wanting to teach, is it not? Then I would keep up with it by week, like all homework done for the week and turned in. Then for a month and so on. After about 3 months, he should realize doing the right thing and being responsible is much better. Kids that age need to see how their efforts make a difference and they need to know that their parents are always there to help them learn a new skill or solve a problem. I hope that helps.

Don't be a helicopter parent. There are natural consquences for him not doing his homework. He'll experience them and make changes. It's hard to sit back and let him do that but in the long run, both of your lives will be much better and less stressful.

The all-knowing, all-powerful Max

(pay no attention the man behind the curtain)

I have two adult children, both fairly successful. There are natural consequences, like failing the class. Discuss the issue with the teacher and make it understood that you expect the teacher to fail your son if he is not doing the work. I did that and my son failed one class. He is currently in the Army Reserves, has done two rotations in Iraq, one in Afghanistan, and is studying Psychology (major) and Philosophy (minor). Having him suffer the consequences is not going to ruin his life.

This brings to mind the time when my son went cruising in my car (I only had the one car) with a loaded shotgun in the front seat. He was stopped by the airport police who called me to report the situation. They put him on and he said that I would have to come and get him. "With what car?" I asked. Hmmmmm.... So I spoke to the officer and she said they could let my son drive home, but he could not take the shotgun. She said I would have to come and pick it up. I asked how long they would hold it. She said 9 months. I told her I would pick it up in 8 1/2 months. No deer hunting was done that year by my son. Natural consequence.

Another instance was when he lied to me about how my car got a big rip in it. I figured it out in no time and he confessed. He lost car privileges (did I say I only had one car) for that month and had to walk 3 miles to and from work in the wintertime. Natural consequence. It's my car, so I get to make the rule.

None of these consequences made him into a bad person and may actually made him into a more responsible person. So do you son a favor and let him suffer the natural consequences of his bad decisions.

Coming from the side that has been where he is, maybe don't be so hard on him. Ask him why he's not turning in or doing his homework. Ask him if it's just hard, or if he really just doesn't remember. This could be more than just 'I can do what I want'. He might be having real trouble and taking away his life isn't going to help that
Trust me, I've been there.

This is good advice :-)

I would go to school with him for a day in your pajamas & go class to class with him. Tell him either he does his work or you'll keep doing things to embarrass him

My 12 year old son has decided that, now that he's in 7th grade, he knows everything and no longer needs to do his homework.

Ok, not really. He's just doing that stupid pre-teen, hormone-driven thing where half the time they don't do their homework and the other half of the time they do it, but forget to turn it in.

I have taken away everything I can think of. The kid has no life anymore. I am out of things to take away unless I'm going to start denying him necessities such as food and shelter--which I haven't ruled out entirely if this continues. This kid just won't budge. So, I have decided that the next thing to try will be to show him what a lack of basic education will get him in life by forcing him to perform manual labor around the house for free. I am thinking I will assign 1 task per missed homework assignment on top of making up that homework assignment. In addition, 1 task will be assigned per class which has a grade of C or below.

This is where you all come in. I need ideas. What sorts of chores can a 12 year old boy do that will make him prefer to do his homework over performing that task? Here's my list so far:

1. Clean the dog kennel.
2. Clean the bathrooms.
3. Fold laundry (everyone's; not just his own).
4. Do the dishes.

Aaaaaaaaaaand.....GO!

These are all great ideas but we make our son do this already. He doesn't have to wash everyone's clothes but this is just part of life. Period. No free rides. We also decided to start giving him a $5 per week allowance. If he messes up on something, he gets the allowance taken away. We pay for school functions, basic necessities but anything above and beyond that, if he wants something he has to save for it. Money can be a huge motivator. If he has nothing left as you say, then he has nothing to lose. Give him something to lose!

I would go to school with him for a day in your pajamas & go class to class with him. Tell him either he does his work or you'll keep doing things to embarrass him

Embarrassing your child is a great idea for developmental issues. Just think how much he/she will get ridiculed in school. Just do like my father did to me. Either do your homework, or go in the back yard and pick your own switch. lol``

Show him a pamphlet for a Military School and tell him if he doesn't straighten out, that's where he will be going.

LOL! We've (father = former Marine, me= former Air Force) already begun teaching my soon to be 12 yr old how to fold his shirts!

One of my 6 year old's chores is to fold his own clothes!

I guess I should have qualified, I don't know how it is now, but when I was active duty we had to fold our t-shirts in 6" squares, my son is practically an expert now! :happy:

<b>Possible ACTUAL Problem:</b> You know he may just be struggling in school. It may not be refusal, but fear because he doesn't understand the content. At that age, it is more terrifying to fail and be labeled stupid by classmates rather than be a hardcore rebel.

1. I second sitting down with the kid and doing homework with him
2. OR if you really want him to succeed with school work, get him a HOT older female tutor... He would try to impress her!

If all that fails and he is just being a teenage boy and a **** while trying to assert his independence:
I would change the wifi password daily and not give it until the homework is completed!

I would totally make him wear bum outfits to school, until he starts doing his homework.

Not acceptable to humiliate as a form of punishment.

I was like that, it got to the point my mom worked half a day and pick me up and then sit there and help me with my homework, I was never good in school, I snapped out of it right before my senior year when my cousin whom I looked up to talked to me...maybe do something like that or if not something even worse that might have some kind of affect on him